A/N. This is Ricky-centric because I love him too much and I couldn't help myself T_T And he deserves all the love in the world.

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Why did this have to happen?

Changhyun stared at his reflection in horror. His shirt was off and laying in a heap on the ground. Blood pounded in his ears as his panic rose. One was bad enough, two was pushing it, five... Five meant trouble.

He tore at his hair. He wanted to bang his head against the wall, but the others were right outside. This couldn't be happening.

 

“Changhyun? Are you okay?”

He moaned weakly, shivering under his blankets. His whole body ached. Sweat drenched his body and every movement sent a chill down his spine.

“No...”

Chanhee pressed his palm against his forehead. His fingers were cold.

“You're burning up,” he pulled his hand away, frowning, “I think it would be better for you to stay home.”

Changhyun wasn’t about to object. He could barely move without feeling like he was dying.

There was a knock at the door.

“Chanhee, the van's waiting downstairs,” Minsoo stepped in, “Is Changhyun okay?”

The latter groaned at his name.

“No, his fever got worse. There’s no way he can go out like this. Let him rest for today.”

Minsoo worriedly crouched by his bed and patted his hand.

“I’ll explain to the manager. Stay home and sleep, okay?”

Changhyun made a noise. He hoped it came across as agreement.

They silently left the room, but not before Chanhee draped another blanket over him. Changhyun closed his eyes. Outside he could hear Minsoo explain the situation to their manager and the other members.

He drifted in and out of sleep, the sounds outside his door both comforted him and annoyed him. His feet were cold and his head pounded. His mouth was parched. The door creaking open made his eyes blink open.

Niel and Byunghun tiptoed to his bed.

“Are you asleep?” Niel whispered.

He shook his head.

“Here. We have to go now, but we prepared this. Hopefully it will be enough until we come back.”

Changhyun started to sit up slowly, wincing. They rushed to push him down.

“Don’t get up. Just lie down.”

He took a look at what they brought in. Niel was holding a hot water bottle and extra blankets, which he then handed to him. Changhyun hugged the warmth to his chest, grateful. Byunghun set down a few water bottles and a thermos on his dresser.

“We made you some soup.”

Changhyun grimaced at the mention of food. He couldn't imagine stomaching anything right now.

“Just try and have some. It'll still be warm.”

“And if you can’t, at least drink some water so you don't get dehydrated.”

He nodded. They tucked him in tightly before leaving. He heard the front door click shut, and he was left in silence.

 

It was too hot. Changhyun kicked off the blankets. Now it was too cold. He let out a frustrated sigh as he returned to his cocoon of sheets. He just couldn't win. Even his tattoos seemed to be overheating. He stared up at the ceiling.

Now that he was alone, all his problems started gnawing at his mind. They refused to be ignored any longer. His thoughts thundered in his head, refusing to let him sleep.

His muscles ached as he lifted his arm to trace along the ink on his torso.

He remembered the first time it happened. A simple smile was all it took. Minsoo grinned happily at him, his heart skipped a beat, and suddenly his hip bone started to warm.

He had hurried to the bathroom as soon as he could. He locked the door and lifted his shirt, staring in horror at the lines of color appearing on his skin. Leaving the bathroom after was done with his head bowed, his face flushed with shame.

The others happened much the same way. A simple show of affection and his skin was inked. It wasn't that he fell in love easily. He couldn't explain it, but his band members, they meant the world to him. He couldn’t help but love them. They took up a special place in his heart, and now on his skin.

But they wouldn't understand. They'd call him a freak, disgusting. Changhyun could already imagine the hatred, the disappointment, the shame when they finally would find out. And it broke his heart.

He had scratched at the tattoos until they were red and sore. But they wouldn't disappear.

 

He was awoken by cool fingers pressing against his forehead. He blinked away the sleep and squinted at the figure above him.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you,” Jonghyun whispered, “Just came in to check on you.”

Changhyun shivered. He felt damp and gross.

“I think you might need to change. You sweat right through your shirt.”

He groaned and shook his head.

“Don't want to.”

Jonghyun laughed quietly.

“Come on. Here, I'll help.”

He tugged him forward gently. Changhyun complained, his body heavy and slumping forward. It wasn't until Jonghyun's fingers tugged at the hem of his shirt did he realize. His eyes shot open.

“No! Jonghyun, wait!”

He tried to pull away. But it was too late. His shirt was over his head and he knew what Jonghyun would see.

There was a beat of silence. And then words. Changhyun didn’t know which one he’d rather have.

“Changhyun? What... What is this?”

He turned his head, avoiding eye contact. The other was scrutinizing him. With what? Hatred? Disgust?

“I'm sorry,” he whispered, “It wasn't meant to be like this. I don't-”

The door opened and the other members walked in. Changhyun was too slow to hide himself.

“How's our little one doing?” Chanhee bounced over to the bed, before stopping in his tracks, “Oh my god.”

You could hear a pin drop in the shocked silence.

“Changhyun? Are those...?”

The tears were falling, him unable to stop them. He knew what they were seeing.

Byunghun's tattoo was inked across his collarbone, the top disappearing over his shoulder. Niel was drawn across his ribs, the black edge overlapping the fine lines of Chanhee's tattoo. There, on his hip bone, was Minsoo's ink, dark and harsh in contrast to the skin. And there was Jonghyun's, across his chest, right above his heart.

“Is that-”

He grasped desperately at his blankets and pulled them up.

“Yes! They're yours, okay?” He cried, “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I don't even know what happened. I just-”

He couldn't finish his sentence before collapsing into sobs. Only his choked hiccups rang out in the silence that continued.  

He couldn’t believe this was happening. Give him a few weeks, a few months, and he might be able to explain. But this was too soon, too unexpected. And he wasn’t ready to face the consequences just yet.

“How long?” someone asked.

He tried to stifle his sobs.

“M-months,” he admitted weakly, head bowed.

There was a sharp intake of breath.

“Changhyun,” Niel stepped closer.

“No!”

He scrambled away.

“Please. I'm sorry. I know I'm a freak, I'm repulsive. I couldn't help it, okay? I just, I just... I'm sorry,” he sobbed, bringing his hands up as if to shield himself.

Nobody said a word as he continued to apologize, blubbering as the words became harder to pronounce. What else could he do?

“Oh, Changhyun,” Chanhee finally sighed, dropping down on the bed and tentatively putting his arms around the younger, “You must have been suffering a long time.”

Changhyun stiffened at his embrace. He looked up with wide eyes still b with tears.

“What are you doing? Don't... Don't you hate me? I might as well be ruining our entire careers with... With this.”

“Well, then we'd all be going down together,” Byunghun said, approaching the bed.

When Changhyun wiped away the drops blurring his vision, he realized they weren't looking at him with loathing or hostility in their eyes like he thought they would. Instead their gazes were tender.

“We don't hate you,” Chanhee said softly.

“Or think you're disgusting.”

“Quite the opposite really.”

“We love you, Changhyun.”

Changhyun blinked up at them.

“...what?”

The others smiled apologetically, their hands clasped. They crowded around him and he whimpered quietly, still unbelieving, but Chanhee soothingly patted his shoulder.

“We wanted to tell you earlier, but we were worried about your reaction. It's definitely weird that it happened to all of us, and we didn't know what you would think. We kinda jumped to the same conclusion you did, that you would think we were disgusting and hate us, so we didn't tell you,” Niel perched on the edge of the mattress.

“We really should have said something. It would have saved you a lot of pain, huh?” Chanhee asked sadly.

“What are you guys talking about?” Changhyun was still confused.

They glanced at each other, uncertain. Minsoo bit his lip before nodding.

“Here. Look.”

Minsoo held out his arms, visibly shaking. There, hidden between the lines of his others, was Changhyun's tattoo. It was small, and it fit perfectly with the rest.

Changhyun in a breath.

“Us too.”

Byunghun lifted his arm to reveal his side. The tattoo was slightly bigger on him, around the same level as his elbow. If he kept his arms down, it was hidden. Niel cleared his throat and tugged on his shirt, pulling it down. Changhyun could see just the start of his tattoo jutting out. But the design was unmistakable.

“Mine was quite big.”

Jonghyun turned and lifted the back of his shirt. Changhyun gasped as he took in the large design inked onto his back, the colors vibrant and splashed across his skin.

“And me.”

Chanhee caught his attention. He pointed down to his crossed legs. Changhyun's eyes widened at the sight of his tattoo etched across his ankle.

“I... I don't understand,” he whispered.

“Don't you see?” Jonghyun took his hand, “We all love you. So much.”

He didn't answer, just continued to stare down at his and Jonghyun’s clasped hands. The others grew nervous at his silence. Surely revealing this wasn't a mistake?

Slowly, Changhyun's eyes flitted from one person to the next. He couldn't believe it. His tattoo, his, splashed across the skin of the five people who meant the most to him.

“Changhyun? Are you okay?”

“I can't believe it. This is a dream,” he murmured finally.

The others started laughing, relieved.

“Believe it, Changhyun.”

“You're so amazing-”

“-talented-”

“-cute-”

“-y-”

“-wonderful-”

“-beautiful-”

“-just perfect.”

They all beamed at him, making him flush and turn to bury his face in Chanhee’s chest.

“Screw you guys,” he cried, weakly hitting the other, “This has been making me worry for months. Why didn't you tell me?”

“We weren't sure how you would feel,” Minsoo apologized.

“You idiots! How could I not love you guys? You mean everything to me!” he exclaimed, frustrated.

His eyes were wet again, not from sadness this time, but from happiness.

“We'll make it up to you,” Jonghyun swore.

“We promise never to hurt you again.”

“Or let anyone make you sad.”

How could he be sad? He had everything he ever wanted. Minsoo, their leader and his rock, cold at times but always caring. Chanhee, ever comforting and a shoulder to cry on. Byunghun, beautiful and dorky. Niel, a breath of fresh air on stressful days. Jonghyun, his best friend, forever by his side.

“You better not,” he mumbled, not edge to his voice.

He could have considered this their perfect ending, but of course Changhyun’s body had other plans. The fever made his head pound and his crying had left him rather dehydrated.

Once his symptoms hit him again, he turned back to a groaning and pained mess. The others jumped immediately to his care, cooing at him and happily babying him. He swatted at their touchy hands, pouting.

Chanhee wiped at his face, blotting away the tears. Niel opened and handed him a water bottle and Byunhun left the room to prepare a warm cloth. Minsoo fetched him a new shirt and Jonghyun shook a few pills into his hand.

“These should help with your fever.”

Despite his high temperature, Changhyun was smiling so wide his face felt like it was splitting.

“You okay?” Chanhee asked once they were all back in the room.

He looked at all of them.

“I'm so happy.”

They grinned back at him. He snuggled back into his blankets, his heart light. Jonghyun clambered onto the bed, sneaking behind him and hugging his waist. Chanhee tucked him back in and sat at his feet. Byunghun, after placing the damp cloth on his forehead, seated himself carefully next to his pillow and his hair. Niel and Minsoo, with no more space on the bed, settled down on the floor. Niel leaned his head back, his hair just tickling Changhyun's arm. Minsoo held his hand, absentmindedly drawing in the palm.

“I love you guys,” Changhyun murmured sleepily.

A soft chorus of “I love you's” rang out, the words blissfully rocking him to sleep.