“Have you seen the new employee?”

Chanhee shot a glance at the office girls, their voices floating through the break room doors. His curiosity piqued, but he quickly squashed it down. He kept his eyes glued to his computer screen and managed to block out the chatter, frowning in concentration.

“Hey Chanhee,” he jumped, “Have you met Byunghun?”

Chanhee steeled himself before looking up at his boss. From the corner of his eye, he could see the blurry outline of a man standing beside him. Besides his brown hair and slightly awkward stance, Chanhee couldn’t make out any distinguishable features. And it was better that way.

“I’m just showing him around the office.”

Chanhee nodded curtly in his general direction, blinking fast to blur his face, before focusing again on his computer monitor. He probably looked rude and standoffish, but honestly he really didn’t care anymore.

 

“Isn’t he just Chanhee’s type?”

“Please, Chanhee has no type. Or standards for that matter. He just likes everyone.”

Chanhee gritted his teeth as giggles rose. He glared at the coffee machine as it slowly started to trickle, willing it to go faster.

It wasn’t a secret that he was a laughingstock. It had started with wide-eyed stared, then the whispering began and rumors started breaking out. He wasn’t oblivious to the fact that he was the center of most office gossip. He’d even walked in on them placing bets. He briefly wondered how long it would take for them to start laughing about it to his face.

He sighed, crossing his arms.

“Hello.”

He turned his head, raising an eyebrow. He could feel his guard go up as he took in the man standing next to him. He was cute, much to his dismay, and unfamiliar.

“Do I know you?” he tilted his head.

The other’s smile drooped a little. Chanhee felt the urge to apologize, but he bit his tongue.

“We just met a few hours ago. I’m Byunghun,” he stuck out his hand to shake, “You’re Chanhee, right? It’s nice to meet you.”

He smiled, and Chanhee’s heart clenched. He gingerly took his hand. He hated the way the other’s hand felt warm and soft in his. He grimaced slightly as he pulled his hand away.

“I should get back to work,” he muttered, turning back to the coffee machine and pouring himself a cup.

He stalked back to his desk. He glanced back and frowned when he caught sight of Byunghun staring down at the coffee machine, frozen, a lost expression on his face. Chanhee felt guilty, and he almost wanted to go back and apologize for his rudeness, and maybe brush the fringe out his eyes… Chanhee straightened, his hands firmly on his keyboard. No, he wasn’t about to be weak again.

 

Chanhee’s eyes flickered from his documents up to Byunghun and back. He frowned slightly at the crowd surrounding him.

“You look a little jealous.”

Chanhee glanced up, startled. Minsoo peered over at him from his cubicle. He scoffed.

“What is there to be jealous of?”

“I’m still trying to figure it out,” he rested his head on the separator, “I can’t tell if it’s because of Byunghun or the people around him.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Minsoo dangled his arms across the divider.

“Well, are you jealous of Byunghun because you used to be like him? Or are you jealous of everyone else because they get to be close to him?”

Chanhee glared at him. Minsoo just raised his eyebrows at him before dropping back down out of sight. Chanhee groaned, leaning back in his chair and running both hands through his hair.

He sighed. It’s not like he was wrong. He did used to be outgoing and spent a lot of time with friends. But it was because of people like Byunghun that he became soft-spoken and introverted. People who looked way too cute coming into work still blinking sleep from their eyes, who grumbled adorably under their breath when they received a new workload, who brushed the fringe out of their eyes only to have it flop back down seconds later. People like Byunghun made him fall in love too easily.

He shook his head, sitting up. He had to distract himself. As he righted himself and grabbed some loose paper to work on, his eyes met Byunghun’s. He froze. The other half-lifted his hand to wave, and flashed him a small toothy smile that made his eyes turn into crescents, and Chanhee couldn’t stop the sickening, all too familiar warmth spreading through his body. He widened his eyes and tore his gaze away.

He spent the rest of the hour with his eyes glued to the papers in front of him, his hand gripping a pencil so tightly it almost snapped.

Only when everyone started filing out for lunch did he rush to the bathroom. He quickly pulled off his sweater and twisted wildly this way and that, scanning his skin in a panic.

“Oh god,” he whispered, horrified.

He poked and prodded at the new splotch of color on his shoulder until the skin around the lines turned red. He scratched at it, almost laughing pitifully at the way the tattoo managed to fit itself perfectly between the others, its lines just barely grazing the others.

He was so focused on examining the new colors on his body that he didn’t notice the door swing open.

“Chanhee?”

He spun around without thinking and blanched at the sight of Byunghun, frozen halfway past the door. He had one leg in but seemed hesitant to take another step forward. He was looking at him with a mixture of confusion and concern, his eyes flickering down to his arms and Chanhee remembered they were still exposed. He quickly grabbed his sweater off the floor and pulled it over his head, heading towards the door.

“Chanhee—”

“Excuse me,” he muttered, pushing past him.

Byunghun could only watch him walk away, too appalled to even reach out. He never would have guessed that Chanhee, the quiet office guy who always avoided his eyes, would have such vivid colors painted on his arms. Byunghun could barely see any flesh. It was like someone had peeled away the canvas of a painting and stuck it to him. And Byunghun wanted to know the story behind it.

 

Getting close to the other male was easier said than done. Chanhee didn’t make any effort to come forward and explain, in fact, it seemed like he tried his best to stay out of his way. Whenever he did manage to catch his eye, Byunghun would smile to try and show that he wasn’t put off by his tattoos, but Chanhee would only pale and look away. The idea of becoming friends with the other wasn’t looking too promising.

But an opportunity presented itself a few weeks later.

Byunghun cracked his stiff knuckles and blinked his bleary eyes as he finally looked up from the computer screen. He realized with a jolt how late it was and how silent the office was. He briefly recalled some of his coworkers bidding him goodbye.

He stretched and yawned, ready to go home. He wearily stood up and headed towards the door, but stopped short when he noticed a light still . He frowned.

He crept around the corner and peeked into the cubicle.

“Chanhee?”

The other turned in surprise from where he was slumped over his computer.

“Byunghun!” his eyes widened, “What are you doing here?”

“Working late,” he shrugged, “Same as you, I guess.”

Chanhee finally realized who he was talking to and his mouth dried. He nodded curtly and turned his back. Byunghun’s shoulders hunched even further before gathering his courage and sliding forward. Chanhee startled as Byunghun silently started to pick through and sort the pile of documents next to him.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping you,” Byunghun pulled up a chair.

“Why?” he asked hesitantly.

“Well, I can’t just go home knowing you’d be stuck here for the next few hours,” he shot him a small smile, “Besides, it’ll go faster with the two of us.”

Chanhee nodded slowly, a blush creeping up his neck.

“Okay.”

 

“Done,” Chanhee groaned, flinging his pen across the room.

He looked over at Byunghun, a thank you forming on his lips, but found the other fast asleep, slumped over his desk.

Chanhee giggled silently to himself as the other mumbled in his sleep. He reached out without thinking, but quickly withdrew his hand like he’d been burnt. But he couldn’t just leave him there. He quickly tapped his shoulder, making the other jolt awake. The latter blinked sleepily at him, and Chanhee’s skin burned.

“I’m all done,” he said, suddenly timid, “You fell asleep towards the end but you helped me a lot, so thank you.”

“No problem,” Byunghun rubbed his cheek.

“We should probably head home now.”

They collected all their things and headed to the door together. As they walked down the hallway, Byugnhun suddenly stumbled into his side. Chanhee automatically reached an arm out and caught him before he fell.

“You okay?”

“Sorry, I’m just sleepy,” Byunghun yawned.

Chanhee felt a little pang of guilt.

“How far are you from home?”

“About twenty minutes, but I’ll--” he yawned again.

Chanhee kept his arm around his shoulders as he led him towards his car.

“I’m not letting you take the risk of falling asleep at the wheel,” he said firmly.

Byunghun peered at him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yup,” Chanhee said before he could change his mind and run away.

It might have been his mind playing tricks on him, but he felt Byunghun press closer to him.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Byunghun asked again for the hundredth time.

Chanhee just rolled his eyes and reassured him that yes, it was fine. His unease had faded away during the car ride, so he kept his arm around Byunghun, steadying him as they walked into the apartment, even though the other was slightly more awake now. And he wasn’t going to lie, he liked the way the other fit snugly under his arm.

He led a confused Byunghun into the bedroom and blushed at his quizzical look.

“The couch is too small for anyone to sleep on,” he reasoned, a little flustered.

Byunghun, too tired to argue, just nodded and collapsed on the bed. Chanhee tried to calm himself as he headed to the bathroom, but he couldn’t help but feel at a loss for words when he came back to a lump in his sheets and soft snores emanating from it. He took a deep breath.

“Don’t try and get used to it,” he thought as he climbed into the other side, “It’s not going to last.”

 

Chanhee woke up the next morning to the sound of his name.

“Chanhee,” he scrunched his eyebrows, his eyes still closed, “I wish you would talk to me. I want to get to know you better because…” a sigh, “Well, I like you a lot. And I’ve tried talking to you, and you turn away, and…” a bitter chuckle, “Honestly, it hurts a little bit.”

He shuffled a bit in the sheets. When he spoke again, his voice softened a bit.

“I wonder if it’s because I saw your tattoos. You seemed so scared that day. Why do you hide them?”

“Because I find them ugly,” Chanhee decided to speak up.

Byunghun almost tumbled out of bed in shock. He quickly turned his head to stare at Chanhee, who finally opened his eyes. He continued to talk before the other could open his mouth.

“It’s hard to love something that makes you feel so marginalised. I hate them. I hate my skin. There’s nothing more I want to do that shed it.”

“But tattoos are supposed to be beautiful.”

“Not to me,” his cheek pressed into his pillow, “It’s the worst feeling in the world to have all your love displayed clearly to every person. It’s why I can’t get close to anyone anymore. People push me away, because they’re scared I’ll love and leave them. And I guess they’re right. I fall in love too easily. So why not do everyone a favor and stay away?”

“I’m sorry,” Byunghun said softly.

“Not your fault,” Chanhee to his back,” I’ve learned to live with it.”

“But you shouldn’t have had to,” Byunghun reached out and traced his cheek, “If it means anything, I think they’re beautiful. You’re beautiful. And you don’t have to worry about hiding yourself with me.”

Chanhee reddened under his touch. In the back of his mind, he was instinctively reeling away from the domesticity of it all, but maybe, just maybe, he could learn to live with it.

 

“Tell me a story.”

Chanhee’s lips curled, keeping his eyes closed.

“What kind of story?”

Byunghun snuggled closer into his chest and used his finger to draw the outlines of the tattoos on his arm. From far it looked like someone had thrown paint all over his arm with the way the colors contrasted with each other, but at as closer look, Byunghun realized that it wasn’t all beautiful. Tattoos would overlap each other, the colors blending together and becoming muddy. But he didn’t mind all that. As long as he could always have the chance to press a kiss onto his own, pristine and untouched among all the others.

“What about this one?” he pressed the ink on his bicep.

Chanhee knew which one he was talking about.

“I got that one the first time I fell in love. She was the prettiest girl I’d ever seen, and I can’t even tell you how happy I was when she said yes to my cheesy confession. We did everything that cliché teen romance movies show; stealing kisses in a dark movie theater, dancing in the rain, riding the Ferris wheel… All those cheesy things.”

Byunghun frowned and Chanhee chuckled softly.

“It didn’t last though.”

“What happened?”

“I fell for someone else. Maybe that was the first indication that everything would start to go wrong.”

“Can I guess which one it was?”

Chanhee to his back, exposing his chest.

“Go ahead.”

Byunghun propped himself up on one arm and examined the expanse of his skin carefully. Chanhee watched him with a small smile, wondering when was the last time someone had seen him was so bare, and so vulnerable. He couldn’t help but feel so fortunate to have found the only person he trusted enough to reveal himself to.

Byunghun finally tapped a spot in the crook of his elbow, looking up at Chanhee expectantly.

“This one?”

He nodded.

“I dated him for a few months, but I felt guilty the whole time. And it only got worse when he broke up with me after finding another tattoo on me,” he stared up at the ceiling, “I’d driven away two people I cared about, and after that, I think I kinda knew that it would happen again. So I started wearing longer sleeves, and I hid in the bathroom whenever I needed to change. But I couldn’t stop the rumors.

I became a shell of a person. I hated the fact that I could see something new on my body every time I looked in the mirror. So I stopped trying to make friends, and I ignored the ones I already had, because I was so scared of falling for someone else.”

He fell silent. Byunghun didn’t say anything.

“What? No more questions?” he nudged him.

“Too sad,” he shook his head.

Chanhee just nodded and turned back onto his side, curling an arm around his waist. They stayed that way for a while, Byunghun still lightly dragging a finger over his skin.

“Tell me the story behind this one,” he whispered.

Chanhee smiled when he realized Byunghun was pointing to his own.

“There’s a happy ending to that one. It belongs to the only person I don’t regret falling for. Someone who has a beautiful personality and the most amazing smile. Someone who made me realize that love isn’t something to be ashamed of feeling. Someone who finally dragged me out of my shell to live again,” he pressed a kiss onto the other’s forehead, “Someone who made me love myself again.”