Chapter 10
Dirty LoveSS501 was finally having a much-needed break just the day before their concert on the occasion of the launch of "Dark Desire" and also their 11th anniversary. The dinner planned by the two eldest members the night before actually became successful in melting the ice between the members. Kyuminjun were behaving in a civil way and according to HyunJoong, that definitely was a prominent step towards achieving the normalcy.
When HyunJoong woke up from his sleep on their off day, he was greeted by delicious smell coming from the kitchen. The door of his shared room with the centre was not closed the previous night. They were all very exhausted and also a bit tipsy due to alcohol intake which wasn't much but was enough to make them want nothing but to go to bed straightaway. As to who was cooking, HyunJoong's first guess went to KyuJong but he found him asleep, sprawled all over the bed next to him, mouth slightly open. Watching Kyu, anybody could say that he was in a deep sleep.
If it wasn't Kyu, then there was only one person who could be up and cooking breakfast. A smile crossed HyunJoong's handsome face. He got up and wore his bedroom slipper and came out to the drawing room from where he got a glimpse of the kitchen. Just as he had thought, HyunJoong saw the lead vocalist of SS501 was moving around in a familiar way to fetch things as he was preparing their breakfast with earphones plugged in his ears. HyunJoong walked closer and heard Young Saeng was humming a tune, probably with whatever music that was playing.
HyunJoong observed Young Saeng for a few minutes and cleared his throat to catch the singer's attention but of course Young Saeng could not hear due to the earphones. When he failed to catch Young Saeng's attention, HyunJoong walked into the kitchen. The prince had full concentration on cooking and did not realize when the leader had crept up behind him. He was still engrossed in the music that was playing and the dish he was preparing.
Very slowly, as of not to startle the main vocalist, HyunJoong gently removed one of the earphones and whispered "Good morning" in his ears. Neverthelss, Saeng got startled a bit as he hurriedly turned around only to find HyunJoong's body almost pressed against his and their faces too close. Saeng blushed an adorable shade of pink as he murmured, "Morning, and don't startle me like this next time. I'm cooking, you see."
HyunJoong rejoiced inside when he saw Saeng blush due to their closeness but he he held a calm expression with a smile on his face as he said, "Mianhae...I'd remember the next time." Young Saeng nodded a bit. HyunJoong continued, "You see, I tried calling you but with earphones on you did not hear me." Saeng nodded in understanding and turned around to finish the cooking.
Young Saeng felt his heart beating rapidly with HyunJoong so close to him. Now that he was no more facing the leader, he could still feel his warmth at his back because HyunJoong had not moved. He was standing there just beind Young Saeng watching him cook. Saeng was getting distracted but he wasn't in a position to voice out his thoughts. They stood in the same position for quite a while when Young Saeng needed a particular spice and he tried to move but the leader caught his waist and said in a low voice, "Let me help you. Tell me what do I have to get?"
Young Saeng felt an involuntary shiver run through him as HyunJoong touched him. He gulped, his heart beating even more fast. He almost squeaked while naming the spice. HyunJoong did not move much as he bent a bit rightwards and fetched the spice all the while holding onto Young Saeng. "Here's it", the leader muttered in his ears. Saeng took the spice and wordlessly added it to the dish and kept stirring.
Saeng's uneasy gestures made HyunJoong smile a little. So, he thought of striking a conversation to ease the main vocalist. He kept his hold on Saeng's waist and asked him in a steady voice, "What was it that you were thinking so hard last night? I asked you but you avoided saying anything."
Young Saeng promptly connected the events of the last night. He recalled HyunJoong's speech about facing the society and his thoughts that perhaps it was a fear of sudden discovery that made HyunJoong deny that fateful kiss on that day infront of KyuJong. Young Saeng knew that confrontation was inevitable. They needed to resolve the difference between them because the past few days showed that when need called for they always looked up to each other's support. Young Saeng, after thinking all pros and cons could not help but forgive HyunJoong for that incident. Also, he could not deny, that despite everything, he definitely had fallen for the leader.
Young Saeng looked down and saw the dish was prepared. He switched off the gas oven and turned around to face HyunJoong. The leader was waiting for him to speak. Saeng said, "I was thinking about us... about whatever happened and where do we stand currently?"
HyunJoong got tensed and pulled his hand away from Young Saeng's waist. Saeng felt cold when HyunJoong removed his hand. Somehow he wanted to be held a little longer. He was getting comfortable.
"So, what were you thinking?" HyunJoong's voice betrayed the tension in it. Saeng felt guilty because he knew the leader was anticipating the worse already.
"I...I want to know a few things..." Saeng hesitantly stated.
"What things?"
Young Saeng gulped and then voiced out all pented emotions, "Why did you do it? Why you denied so badly that you kissed me? Why shift all blames on me? I wanted to get up but you pulled me back. I never asked you to kiss me but you did and when Kyu confronted us, you said you were teasing me. You said you would only kiss me purposely. You treated me like the worst, HyunJoong. You hurt me like no other. Then you left no stone unturned to show me that you care, that you never wanted to say all those. But then why? Were you scared of getting discovered? Are you confused about your uality and used me to confirm? Did you want to be the one declaring whatever is going between us and didn't want anyone to find like that?"
HyunJoong looked stunned before Saeng's endless flow of queries. Young Saeng sighed and enquired again, "I want to know what exactly were you thinking or were you thinking at all?"
HyunJoong sighed and guilt burnt him inside hearing the doubts in Young Saeng's mind. One question of Saeng specially troubled him and he wished it never formed in Saeng's mind and he had only himself to blame for it. The leader closed his eyes and sighed. Then he open
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