== Chapter 5 ==

                                                                                                                    Ready, Set, Go!                                                                                                          

A month had passed, and Jimin never brought up the subject again. Jungkook knew it was a clear answer that the other had given him, even without the other actually putting it into words. Yet still, even with Jimin knowing about his feelings, nothing within Jungkook changed. He felt just as the same as he felt before Jimin even bringing it up. He could only wish there was some sort of cure out there to cure his feelings towards Jimin… if only. His own feelings were causing him grief and misery.

In the end, love was a poison.

==

 “Look he brought along both his secretory and his wife” One of the guys from the student council joked around. It was funny to Jungkook how Taehyung earned title of his ‘wife’ from showing up a mere four times, whiles Jimin was stuck in the ‘secretary’ role for the past year.

 “Don’t speak about my wife so casually” Jungkook answered with a serious tone, deciding to play along, as he put his arm protectively over Taehyungs shoulder. Soon it was followed by laughter from them all.

“What is this? Doing your usual Friday group meetings?” The same guy that began the joke asked teasingly, seeing how not only Jimin, but Taehyung also joined Jungkook for he meeting “Lots of girls?” he winked at them mischievously, although already knowing the answer.

“Don’t even think about it” Jungkook answered; now taking his arm off Taehyungs shoulder and sitting down at the huge table. “Nobody wants more guys there” Taehyung explained in a cute voice, trying not to anger the other, though its soon betrayed by his signature wide grin and laughter.  

“Ah” the other gave out a displeasing sigh “It’s always you guys who get all the fun, and all us ugly’s have to hear about it through gossips”.

They joke around for a bit more; until the meeting finally starts. As always, Jungkook stayed serious throughout these meetings, despite his looks and attitude, he took his duties quite seriously, no matter how conscious he was of Jimins knee slightly resting against his thigh now; who was clearly bored, and leaning back lazily in his chair. He could easily have moved away, but he couldn’t help but think Jimin would notice how uncomfortable he was around the other and ruin their friendship… or rather the little play they were putting up.

Jungkook wasn’t stupid. Despite how Jimin appeared, he could easily tell Jimin wasn’t as comfortable with and around him as he acted out to be. There were times Jungkook could swear that Jimin was testing him and it made him angry. It felt almost like mockery, with what seemed like Jimin trying to see if Jungkook still reacted differently towards him, if Jungkook still liked him. Sometimes acting indifferent towards Jimin, just felt like even a bigger give away to the other of how conscious he still was towards Jimin. It was his own body and mind betraying him since the beginning after all.

One thing he was glad about, was Jimin not having told anyone. Even without Jimin confirming it, he knew that nobody else knew. Although he acted cautious and paranoid in the beginning in case somebody else knew about him, after some time his suspicions faded. Everyone still acted and spoke the same towards him, which was his prime evidence. He wanted to ask Jimin in the beginning if the other had told anyone, if anyone else knew or even plead not to tell anyone, but he never had the guts to bring up the subject himself. Even more when he never vocally admitted to liking Jimin, which one way or the other, made himself feel better.

It was one thing feeling something, and another admitting it in words.

 ==

“I can try” Jimin said, trying to sound calm and casual, despite his clear uncomfortable and peculiar fidgeting with his pen. The sound of which Jungkook noted to be distracting, when he was already having a hard time focusing on the work in front of him.

They were both studying at Jungkooks, wasting some time before having to leave for Namjoons, where they all planned to meet up and decide their plans for the evening. Jimin usually dropped by Jungkooks during these times; they would play some games or watch TV, and then head out together for Namjoons. Yet now, even without having to voice it out, he knew that Jimin coming here now was only for the sake of Jimin trying to act as if all was the same as before. What pained Jungkook more, the eagerness of himself wanting to play along to this, his longing to feel normal.

“Try what?” Jungkook finally replied hesitantly, looking up slightly from his book at the other. He tried to study the others unnaturally calm face, but gave up deciding not to read into too much.  

“Going out” Jimin said the words, almost even spelling two words- with that same tone, but this time his facial expression growing to an expectant and uneasy one.

Jungkook felt his own face tense at the others unclear expressions, but soon after relax. “Where?” Jungkook replied, now looking back down between his worksheet and book.

“With you…” Jimin answered now with an insecure and embarrassed expression, as he pointed at Jungkook with his hand in a polite gesture- almost as if pointing at a stranger.

“Yes, but where?” Jungkook answered, this time slightly intimidated by the other; mimicking the others awkward hand gestures with his both hands and looking up at the other with a raised eyebrow. They still had at least an hour before having to head to Namjoons, and he didn’t have anywhere in particular he wanted to go to.

“I meant dating” Jimin bluntly said it, and Jungkook for the second time stared at the other blankly. Although the feeling felt almost similar in the sense that he felt completely numb and blank in the head- the feeling the words created inside of him however signalled a different feel. It took a while, before he dropped his arms to his laps, feeling his mind somewhat comeback to him, despite his heart pumping franticly and adrenaline rushing through his veins.

“W-…wha…t…?” Jungkooks eyes were wide open with shock now, barely able to stutter out the word. He watched the other in uncertainty, as if trying to figure out if he had heard the other wrong. “What is this about?” Jungkook finally asked in a clearly pained voice, deciding not to even wait for the others answer “is this a joke or is it that you’re feeling pity on me?”.

“I really mean this” Jimin answered, his expression growing serious, as lines appeared on his forehead; as he bit his lower lip, Jungkook knowing well that it was one of the habits Jimin had when anxious or angry.

“Did you even think-” Jungkook began, feeling anger growing at the thought that the other could treat his feelings so casually, despite Jungkook trying his best to act his upmost best and normal around the other.

“I did think it through” Jimin cut in “I really did. That’s why I’m saying this” he reassured the other, with genuineness painted all over his face.

“Jimin” Jungkook strained to keep his voice calm; his anger soon being replaced by sadness, as he lowered his head and buried his fingers into his hair- his elbows resting on the wood surface; hiding his face from the other “It’s not the same as being friends. You don’t understand what you are saying here. I will act as if this never happened, so don’t, say anything like this to me ever again”. He wanted to agree with his whole body, knowing fully well that this may be his one and only chance ever, yet he also couldn’t help but think of the horrible consequences that would follow. He knew that it would be only him hurting at the end of this disaster destined relationship, and he couldn’t help but feeling like crying at such realisation. He wished for the other to stop talking, because he didn’t know how much more of this talk he could withhold.

He felt soft hands circle around his waist from the back; not even aware when the other sat behind him. Jimin rested his forehead on his back, and he could feel the warmth the other radiated on his back. Jungkooks body was trembling, not even fully understanding the feeling within him. He didn’t know how to react, or what to say, he could only guess the other realised how silly his suggestion was, only for it to be proven wrong as Jimin spoke up in a soft voice.

“I’m not thoughtless like that” he whispered, “I wouldn’t suggest it without thinking about it, and hurt you like this” Jimins grip around him tightening as if to assure Jungkook. “And why does Taehyung get to be called the wife, while I get the secretory title?”.

Jungkook looked to his side, attempting to see the others face, although knowing fully well he couldn’t. “Because you attended all the meetings with the student council president” Jungkook allowed himself to joke in reply, despite his shaky voice and the hot tears now burning his cheeks.

“Jungkook?” Jimin called out softly and Jungkook could clearly tell without the need to see the other, in order to know that Jimin was serious.

“Hmm?” he answered in reply.

“I can really try if you want me to” Jimin gave out a heavy sigh, as if finally getting something heavy off his chest.

“But why? It’s different from being friends…” He wanted to explain how different it all was from being friends, but he didn’t want to make the other feel disgusted, nor did he have much knowledge on it himself, not to even mention anything near experience or such, but he knew it was different.

“I know, I know, I know” Jimin repeated a few times, as if trying to get his point across “Just ask me and I will try my best”.

Jungkook supressed a sigh. “Ok” after a small pause he continued “Try”.

Jimins grip around him tightened even more, and he felt an urge to touch Jimins hand with his own, but he fought it off. Even if the other said he will try, he was still sure Jimin was only doing it out pity or some sort of friend obligation and Jungkook didn’t feel like grossing the other out already. He knew there was no hope for this relationship, yet still how bad could it be to try?.

The thoughts of why Jimin was doing this- what made Jimin say those words to him were overtaking his thoughts. He wanted to know so badly, but at the same time he was so afraid to find out.

                                                                                    AUTHOR's NOTES                                                                                 

AHHHHHH!!!!! what happened here!? why did Jimin say that!? WHY!? don't you want to find out!? because i do!!≧▼≦ 

Believe it or not, there's at least 5 more chapters to come, because I somehow made it complicated.... (which you will find out in chapters to come. p.s. I'm curious how I will be getting out of it...)...so no, this chapter is not going to be that cheesy and quick happy ending if that is what some fo you expected...ಠ_ಠ

...Love to all those who comment and subscribe...!<3