== Chapter 11 ==

- It starts where it ends -

                                                                                                             The End and The Beginning                                                                                                    

Jungkook got home, calmly closing the door behind, then turning the lock, and as an alarm, when the click indicating the door was locked reached his ears, his body hit the floor, with his back now pressed against the door, as cries filled empty the room. He was in so much pain, and he didn’t know how to get rid of it. It was so agonising that he could only cry, chocking up, only to continue crying again, not even caring how much of a mess he looked, after all he was here all alone.

Why did he have to see the other again like this? Why did he have to be an idiot and wait for the other like an idiot each day?

He brought it onto himself, by going to that damn train station. Even if he went there to wait for Jimin, he didn’t expect the other to actually show up, in fact, Jimin wasn’t even supposed to be there.

-

It was already dark outside, and the burning sensation was finally starting to cares his cheeks and eyes. This felt the same as the first day he came here by himself. Having left everyone he loved behind, and running away by himself ripped him apart as a person. For a week he couldn’t function, and kept finding himself at that forsaken train station, wanting to go back, wanting to turn back the time to when everything was alright, when agony and fear wasn’t as familiar as it was now, when he had no shame or secrets to hide, to the time he didn’t know what love was…

…he wanted to return to the beginning.

==

His mind felt so blank, his body sending shivers down his spine, as he stared at the shorter boy in front of him. He wanted to think that the other wasn’t real, although his mind fully knowing he was. “W-why?” he barely stuttered out, his eyes falling onto the luggage the other was holding onto with his small hand.

“I thought of taking up dancing during my summer break” Jimin cheerfully said, although even in the state of mind he was in now, Jungkook could sense Jimin was pushing himself, the words, or rather the sentence sounding so unnatural “And I needed a place to stay during that time, and then I thought I could share your place with you. I will pay half the rent! And buy my own food so you don’t have to worry about me mooching off you!”

He must have been crazy, letting Jimin in, although he hadn’t actually said anything, it felt even worse, as Jimin began unpacking his luggage onto the living room floor, taking Jungkooks silence as an approval of some sort.

“I looked up the whole dancing program. I also worked part-time at a restaurant, so I saved up quite a bit. By the way, can you show me around? I brought some instant food with me, but I think I need to buy some normal food too” Jungkook just watched the other ramble on, in his blank state of mind. He knew Jimin, and he knew the other was panicking and purposely forcing himself to speak and to act this boldly, just so Jungkook wouldn’t be able to say anything in between about kicking Jimin out.

“Also, how much will the rent be? Like I said, I got a lot saved up, but would be safer if I knew how much I have to put aside” he finished, his actions coming to halt, and a deep sigh followed. Jungkook had no idea why Jimin was doing this, whether it was guilt or sympathy, he didn’t care, because he didn’t need any of it anymore.

“Ji-” Jungkook began, he knew he had to tell the other straight, instead of carrying on letting the other do as he pleased. His silence would just cause him more troubles.

“Only 2 months” Jimin said, turning to him with a painfully forced smile, “I think I could become an amazing dancer in that time. Just 2 months. 2 months only” He pleaded, and Jungkook was lost, he knew he was lost in Jimin once again, as he could only feel his head not in approval, cursing himself once again. He must really enjoy pain to be doing this to himself.

=

Watching Jimin in his dance class, only puzzled him more. He really had no idea what the other was thinking, and what was the purpose of Jimin suddenly appearing like that before him. However, watching him dance as he did, he couldn’t help but admire how easily the other was following along. At that rate, Junkook couldn’t help, but conclude that Jimin would reach his level in no time. In the end, no one could beat natural talent, with Jungkook being often told that no matter how well he danced, and how accurately he mimicked dance moves - it often felt like his dancing had no feeling. Emotionless, cold and forced, which coincidently also described his state of life.

He didn’t particularly liked dancing to begin with. He only took it up to keep his mind busy and buried in something, so long as it wasn’t thinking about his family, friends or Jimin. Yet, here was one of the reasons right in front of him.

-

He felt jealous, despite having no right to, but he couldn’t help it. Jimin was so close to her. Would she still like Jimin, knowing the way Jungkook had kissed the other? Knowing the way they…

He was being spiteful, and it didn’t feel like him at all. The girl liking Jimin had done nothing wrong, and Jimin didn’t belong to him anymore, so he had no right to even think these thoughts. However the two of them danced was none of Jungkooks concern.

Since Jimin showed up each day felt so tiring. He knew these sort of thoughts were tiring him out mentally and physically. Only a week had passed, but he felt all of his defences already shaken. Acting cold and firm towards Jimin, felt harder and harder each day; required far more energy and control, and he knew he couldn’t keep it up for long, he knew it was a matter of time before he slipped up.

His mind kept lingering on the fact that it had been only a mere week, and he felt so shaken already. There was still over a month left, and he didn’t see how he was to endure with the other so close around.

=

“Let’s be honest here” Jungkook shouted, “We are not in a relationship to be sharing the same flat, we…” he gave out a painful sigh “Why are you here Jimin? Be honest with me just this once, why did you even appear in front of me? Do you hate me this much?” he pleaded for the other to tell him, he couldn’t bare anymore of this setting they were in.

“Do you love me?” was Jimins answer. He felt shocked and speechless as he found himself staring at Jimin blankly, not even having expected such question to pop out from the other. It felt too much like a déjà vu, and Jungkook couldn’t help but feel his mind taking him back to that scene in his room where Jimin uttered those exact words… where his whole life took a turn.

“Yes” He answered motionlessly after some time, deciding to answer this time, unlike the time he could only cry, because he was too scared to admit it in words. He had nothing else to loose now. He was already alone, living each day meaninglessly, so being honest for once felt like a little bit of justice he could do to his mind and heart.

“Do you know how much I wanted to hear that?” Jimin was smirking, despite his teary eyes and pained expression, and Jungkook didn’t know how to read it’s meaning. He couldn’t understand this situation, or anything anymore. He could only watch the other before his eyes.

“Can you imagine how much I regretted not getting on that damn train with you each and every day!?” Jimin was shouting, not even bothering to hold back his tears. “I wanted you to come back, and take me with you. I really hated living without you around, but I didn’t know where to find you, you bastard! How could you leave without telling me where to find you…”. Listening to the other, Jungkook was choking up now, he desperately wanted to say something, but nothing came out, he could only watch and listen to Jimins cries.

“Why is loving you so painful!?” Jimin cried out. Jungkook watched stunned as Jimin slowly took a step forward, and leaned his forehead onto his chest, hot tears soon soaking through the fabric of Jungkooks shirt; as Jimin brought up his hands, now tightly clutching onto his shirt.

Jungkooks mind was desperately trying to make sense of it all, trying to come to a sensible and realistic conclusion, and his hands were hesitantly lifting from his side, not fully sure what they were to do. Maybe it was him getting tired of always trying to make sense of everything, or always trying thinking of the worst; but now, he allowed himself to wrap his arms around Jimin.

His hands were trembling, but so was Jimin in his arms, and he could only hug the other more desperately, more tightly – as if to stop the other from leaving. The feeling of Jimin in his arms was so strange, yet so familiar, despite the time that has passed since he last held the other in his hands.

-

“Still so warm” Jungkook whispered almost to himself; a pleasant smile creeping onto his face.

“Wait” Jimin suddenly said, pushing the other away slightly, Jungkook feeling surprised and slightly anxious at the others sudden words and actions “Something I wanted to do for a while now” Jimin finished, as he pulled on the others shirt, making Jungkook lean forward, till he met Jimins lips, uncomfortable anxiety getting quickly replaced with an excitement.

It was a quick kiss, more like a teasing peck on the lips, and Jungkook was sure it was a teasing one, by the way Jimin was smiling slyly. It was as if the other was daring him to do something in return, and he never did have much of restraint when it came to Jimin, so harshly grabbing the others wrist and pulling him along to his room was his answer to the other.

“I thought you would never dare” Jimin mocked, as Jungkook pushed him onto the bed.

“We’ll see” Jungkook gave him a smug smile, taking off his shirt, and feeling somewhat surprised seeing at how quickly Jimin was taking off his own shirt in response “Someone can’t wait” Jungkook said in an arrogant tone.

“Oh, I waited too long” Jimin retorted, not even caring about his own image anymore “Hurry”.

They both seemed so starved of each other, that everything they did passed in a blur of seconds. Being able to feel Jimins skin touch his own to this degree was so new and exciting, that it made him want to explore all of the other. Suddenly just leaving kisses on the others face wasn’t as sufficient like before, now he needed more, - now he could allow himself more, he could allow himself all of the other.

He traced kisses down the others neck, allowing one of his hands to freely roam the others upper body, then slowly slide down the other stomach and stop at Jimins hip. Feeling the other tremble at his touch, was thrilling. It was definitely a new experience, and one he knew he will never cease to enjoy. He looked up at Jimin, who looked flustered and embarrassed at Jungkooks sudden stare “Are you sure about this?” he asked Jimin. Jimin just nodded as a reply, and Jungkook allowed his hand to reach for the others belt, slowly undoing it…

Sudden Author's Note: *Just up to here! reading is one thing, but writing isn’t my thing!XD I’m sorry!!XD you are just going to have to imagine it, or go ahead and read some fics from other writers to fill in this gap!XD * hides in a corner…*  Author's Note Fades Out

-

“Do you know how many dancing classes I took before I came here” Jimin said staring somewhat blankly at the wall, as if the answer had been sketched out for him there.

“You took dancing classes before you came here?” Jungkook asked surprised, giving the other a look of puzzlement.

“Well how else do you think I was able to dance so well?” Jimin laughed now facing him, and there were no words how beautiful the other looked “I had to join your class, not the beginners”.

“Or you could have just told me why you were here from the beginning” Jungkook gave the other a dirty look, but soon smirking, as he felt the other poke his side.

“You acted so cold, that I thought you hated me” Jimin almost whined, “Do you know how scary you are when you’re like that? It’s the same as it was in the beginning, when it all started, I wanted to apologise for the misunderstanding so much, but you scary bastard put me off each time. I had to muster up so much courage that time”.

“You know, I regretted that time so bad” Jungkook admitted somewhat pained, recalling the memory “If I didn’t act so mad, maybe nothing would have happened, maybe neither of us would have had to suffer, but you know now, I have never been more glad for it… because we are like this, because I get to know how you feel”.

“I regretted it too” Jimin admitted it “I thought I was the who started it, and ruined you”.

“To think, I’m pretty sure it was Yoongi’s fault the most” Jungkook said, his expression growing sad within seconds at realising the name he hasn’t mentioned in a long time, “Yoongi” he repeated with a smirk “I miss them” he acknowledged the feeling dwelling up in his stomach now “I don’t think there will ever be friends like them in my life ever again…”.

“We all went to your house often to check where you were, even if I knew the reason you disappeared, I couldn’t tell the other guys, and your parents acted so well as if everything was normal. It was so obvious they didn’t want anyone to find out… it was disgusting to watch them” Jimin explained, his expression becoming somewhat sour at recalling the memory.

“Well, maybe I will see them one day, we met each other, so I’m bound to run into one of them too someday” Jungkook sounded hopeful, at the thought of seeing one of his friends again.

“Will you tell them?” Jimin asked curiously, as he studied the others face for a hint.

“I don’t know, but if I will, whether some of them will accept me or hate me, I won’t blame or hate any of them, they will always be precious to me” Jungkook smiled, although it was a sad thought that some of them could hate him, the thought that some of them may accept him made him somewhat pleased.

“You won’t blame them?” Jimin looked puzzled.

“How can I hate them, when even I hated myself” Jungkook smirked “I didn’t want to admit it for so long, and it felt so disgusting, but now… I don’t care anymore, since you are here… with me”.

It was the two of them in this room, but it felt like it was just the two of them in the whole world. Not having to worry about others, and only having to depend on each other, Jungkook loved the thought…

… that finally, they were free.

                                                                                    AUTHOR's NOTES                                                                                 

The End! FINALLY!!!! ≧▼≦ 

Thank you to those who commented, subscribed and upvoted (made writing this feel a lot more worth it)!

I hope you liked this story to the end (even if you didn't, tough luck, it's already over, so too late to complain now... 눈_눈 )

So I am writing a new Jikook story (I don't know why I'm doing this to myself so soon after finishing writing this one...ಥ⌣ಥ)

For anyone who is interested, I will be updating the link here - when I'm done writting a draft for the story

---> *The Link...to something* <--- ￣ ³￣ 

AS PROMISED - I UPDATED A LINK TO THE FOREWORD OF THE NEW JIKOOK STORY FOR THOSE WHO ARE INETERESTED