January

                I look emptily at the empty chair on the end of the last row of library studying tables. Thankfully not many people are here since it’s still winter break, or else someone might find me strange to stare at a chair this intensely.

                Someone used to have that chair as his regular seat in the library, with his friends. His friends don’t have fixed seating spots, but he always sits there.

                He’s the kind of person who moves a lot, and makes a lot of noise. In short, he stands out. I ever saw the librarian going to his seat because he was too noisy. His high-pitched voice can be annoying sometimes, indeed. But for me, it’s adorable, and funny. I tried so hard not to break my concentration every time he let his voice loose.

                Even these past two years, when the person isn’t here, recalling that memory alone can make me hold back my laughter, but unfortunately, followed by a huge wave of yearning.

                I miss him.

                I bury my face on the book I’m reading. Who am I to miss him? Who am I to wait for his return?

                I’m just a mere junior, having a crush from far away. He knows me, though we’re not close. I’ve been in the same class with him, and did a group project together. We’re in talking terms, at least. We greet each other.

Then what if he returns? What are you going to do?

                It’s been 22 months… About time for him to come back. Or has he? I know so little about his enlistment, and I don’t know the exact time he would return. It must be around this time, but I’ve been seeing nothing.

                I slowly get up from my seat, and take my belongings. I slowly walk to his usual seat, and put my stuff on the table. The chair makes a creaking sound when I pull it out a bit, and I carefully sit on it. This is what I do when I miss him. And these past couple of years, I’ve been doing it a lot.

                Maybe I’m just wasting my time.

March

                New school year starts today, and instead of enjoying the spring weather, I’m already struggling to complete a short essay in the library, tasked by the very first professor I met in class today. The deadline is in fifteen minutes, and I can barely think of anything else.

                I dramatically click the ‘send’ button and put a palm on my forehead. I have one and half hour until the next class… I should grab something to eat.

                Someone stops in front of me, and calls my name… A bit too loudly.

                “Hey! What are you doing here?”

                I lift my head, I’m wide awake. It’s Kim Jongdae. “Se-senior?”

                He grins, and sits in front of me. His hair is very short, but his face stays the same. “Finally I meet someone I know! Have you been well?”

                I never imagined this to happen—I haven’t even been thinking about him for awhile. A great bunch of feelings is bubbling inside of me, and it’s going to boil soon. I silently control my breathing, and try to smile. “I’m fine. How are you, Senior?”

                He his hair, and nods. “As you can see, I just got out from hell. But it’s so good to be back!” he pats my shoulder. “You didn’t change at all! Are you studying already? It’s the first day!”

                “Ah, yes, it’s an assignment—“ I unnecessarily tidy up the things in front of me. “Um… I’m glad you completed your military service well.”

                Jongdae laughs, and as expected, a few people turn their head to see the origin of such a loud noise. “It’s over now, finally. Hey, now I’m a year behind from you! I’ll have to ask you about classes.”

                If my head were a kettle, it’d be whistling hard right now. “Oh… Sure, I’ll do what I can.”

                “Hey, would you have a meal with me? It’s lunchtime soon. We can go before the cafeteria gets crowded. My treat!”

                I go blank for a second, but something explodes in front of me right after. “Oh—okay.” I nod. Jongdae smiles, and I might need to do a heart checkup later. I smile as well, and start packing my stuff.

                “You’re so happy to get food, huh?” he asks, as he helps stacking the books. I just laugh, and fold my lips.

                We stand up, and Jongdae looks at somewhere behind me. “Oh, nothing has changed here. I like sitting there, you know—“ he says as he points at his favorite seat. I look at it as well, and swallow. “—later when I need help with something, we’ll sit there.”

                I turn to see him again. “We?”

                We stare at each other, and Jongdae looks clueless. I immediately look down, trying not to look suspicious. “Um—I mean—yes.”

                We go out from the library, and I realize this is the first time I have him walking right beside me. Hopefully this isn’t the first and last time.