Have u ever felt like going back to read the you wrote a long time ago? Then you wonder "oh man what made me stop continuing this?" then you remember the life you are currently living, remember the weight of responsibilities on your shoulder, remember your job....

Cz that's what im feeling right now

I feel so bad

So I decided to fix my capitalization.

Ugh

Right now, I'm just taking a short break from work.

LOL

I sound like an old man with piles of paperwork on his desk! No, no, it's just that I need to submit my lyrics tomorrow morning and I think that I've done reviewing them so I'm just trying to clean a few folders until I found this so-called diary again.

Let's see what I wrote months ago

Oh

I was talking about Jicheol. And Meanie, too.

I guess I can talk freely about Seungcheol hyung since it's no way that he would read this or even write in this ever again. I bet he already forgot this diary exists! LOL

Hhmm Jihoon Hyung and Seungcheol Hyung…. those two spent the night in Jihoon Hyung's studio almost every day when we were busy preparing for our first full album. Sometimes they wouldn't come back to the dorm (our new dorm :-)) yay we've got a new dorm!), so I guess they just.....slept in the studio? Yea.

When working, those hyungs seem like they have fire in their eyes. So determined. And they look very cool doing their things.

One time I found Seungcheol hyung and Jihoon hyung in the basement, with their drinks on the table, singing to a song that I’ve never heard in a long time.

It's Verbal Jint's You Look Good

((they sang this on the last day of our love&letter fansign))

((they also sang this during our trainee days))

That kind of song is not my style but I gotta admit that it's such a beautiful song with straightforward lyrics that could hit you right in the heart. And I always think that their voices match. Like a puzzle. Like it's meant to be.

Oh gosh what am I saying

But I’m serious.

On top of that, they are so comfortable with each other. So comfortable that it's nice to watch. Silent, sometimes, since there is nothing new to learn between them. Cz they already know each other so well. Yea    they've been in this place for the longest between us the members. No doubt in that.

Okay, since we are at that, I'm going to admit

That day when we were all gathered with candles in our hands, when Seungcheol hyung said that he was a upset with Jihoon hyung, my heart almost stopped. What is it. Those two who were together the longest, had a discord? Like....ay no way! Those hyungs? They looked okay tho?? But yea it's their feelings. How could I know.

Since that day I kinda gave special attention whenever they interacted.

HAHAHA OHMYGOD I JUST ADMITTED IT

It's embarrassing. I feel so creepy ohmygod

Others can't know about this

Gotta go bye

■■■

It's that time of the year again: preparing for a comeback. We are going to release a repackage album this time, meaning it's to add 2-4 new songs into the love&letter album.

I think I've mentioned about 'being busy' way too much in this diary that I got sick of it HAHAH yeah because this is what we've been doing everyday! What do you expect!

Okay let's not talk or complain about it

Uhm

By the way, Meanie hyungs almost got themselves into a fight today

WW: I've already eaten. Still full. Now leave

MG: You liar. It's been too many hours since your breakfast. Here, manager bought you a meal. You cannot skip. Not anymore

WW: I just got hit by inspiration, I need to finish this!

MG: Hyung, I don't want you to get sick again. So please

WW: Mingyu, 30 minutes.

MG: No! You eat this or I'm summoning Cheol hyung

I mentally snorted. ‘Summoning’ he said. What is Cheol hyung? A satan?

But yea Seungcheol hyung would definitely dragged Wonwoo hyung out if he knows that he hasn't eaten. So Wonwoo hyung gave up at the end. Then left with Mingyu hyung somewhere only they know. I was curled up in a couch, half asleep when they were bickering. Then I got up and spotted Seokmin hyung in another corner....dozing off

Yeah I don’t even want to count how many hours of sleep we get

And nowwww I'm in the middle of a break. again. It's 6 pm and I'm in the mood to eat ice cream. I will try to search for someone who wants to accompany me to the convenience store.

Gotta go

I'll write again later!

■■■

I was with Seungkwan, eating ice cream. It's been a while since the last time we were alone without the other members. It felt nostalgic. Like suddenly I remember those times when everything is complicated. When our future hasn't been decided yet.

We're the same age, and I'm confident to say that I'm closest to him. We are friends. And it's been great. All those precious memories of us laughing at whatever, of him making me laugh like no other, of the fights we used to have in the past. I made him cry, too. Once. During broadcast even. Embarrassing LOL I know.

We are kinda childish when fighting I gotta say. But we make up quickly, too.

"How is everything?" I asked him. His eyes glued to the ground, a ‘melona’ in his hand.

"Been good I guess. You?"

"I've submitted the lyrics. I feel less stressed. A bit"

"Tired aren't we?"

"Yeah. No matter how many times those leaders trying to cheer us up, telling us to just be happy and not get sulky, I still can't help it"

"I know right. It's all good in the practice room, until we get out of the building"

"The realization hits like a rainstorm"

"But talking it out like this actually helps"

"You are right"

He is right. I do feel better. And I know that he does, too.

■■■

I'm not telling anyone this

But i saw Seungcheol hyung kissed Jihoon hyung in his studio today.

*

HELLO! I'm late I know :-( I have no excuses.

Thank you for the subscriptions. The comments. The upvotes. I love you guys <3

I hope I can continue this fic just fine