ChapterVI  I  

Jiyong kissed the younger's lips who kissed him back, his hands entwined in those red hair while his waist was held by the others hand. They only felt each other and for a breif time everything was muted around them. “Mghh...” A moan escaped Seungri's mouth, as he was pinned against the nearby wall. To seungri everything felt like a dream he was being kissed by his master. They both parted, panting out gasping for air. Without a word they just blankly stared at each other.

“Huh?” A smile of disbelief curved around Jiyong's lips. “What did I just do?” He blankly stares at the younger who leans against the wall. “Jiy--”

“This is wrong” He cuts the other off. “What have I done” He grasped a lock of his hair, falling down on his knees, regretting the event that took place, minutes ago. Seungri came forward to console and assure the older that everything was alright. “Its okay” 

Jiyong looked up at the other. “I'm not gay” He shuts down his eyes.

Why does it hurt so much?

Since when did words started to be become so painful. Oh wait, They were from the beginning.

Warm drop of water tapped down his cheeks but it wasn't his, it was Seungri's, he was now crying and had an expression which only showed betrayal and hurt. “I--I got used for the second time, huh?” The younger choked on his words. “Were you playing a game with me? You kissed me so you can make fun of me along with your friends like always, right? There must be a camera or something here as well” He harshly smiled at the older, who shockingly stared at the other.

“No--” Jiyong was cutted off.

“I don't trust you nor your words anymore” Seungri wiped his tears, which refused to stop. “V.I” The red haired boy stood up, reaching out his hand towards the younger, who stepped back. “Dont touch me” The younger started gaining back his cool, yet the hiccupping never left. “I'm a human being too, master. Maybe not same level as you but I contain the same feelings as you”  He started. “You'll probably yell at me for talking back but I'm tired”

Before the conversation could progress more, there was a knock on their door. Both the boys paused and stared at the door which made continues knocking sounds. “V.I--” Jiyong tried to explain, He doesn't have to but had the urge to do so.

“It must the others. Let's go master” Seungri puts on his fake smile which could deceive anyone.

“We need to clear this” The red haired boy tried ignoring the desperate knocks. “No, master. You don't have to. Lets just act like nothing ever happened. Your not gay and I'll get over that” With that the younger exits the room leaving Jiyong alone inside. 

I regret it. I regret kissing him, I regret everything that happened regarding him. I have made choices that I regret. Mainly I regret rejecting him. And I don't even know why I am regretting everything so much.

The older came out of his thoughts when a hand was placed on his shoulder. “GD”

“Uh, YB” He took a deep breath before turning to face his friend. “Whats up, bro! All ready?” He casually tries to avoid all the stares and gazes Taeyang was giving. “I told the others to go without us. Anyways whats wrong, Jiyong?” The pink haired friend asked. He only referred the other as ‘Jiyong’ whenever he was dead damn serious.

“What do you mean?”

“Can you get to the point instead of making excuses because you and I both know I'll find out everything sooner or later” Taeyang stamps his feet, up and down, waiting for an answer. “Spill the beans, Jiyong” He puts force in his tone.

Due to the heavy tension present in the air The red haired boy finally surrenders. “Uh fine” He scratched his head in frustration. “We--We kissed, Okay!” He quickly confesses. “Dont ask anything more. I'm confused”

“Kissed...?” The older among the two repeated. “then what?” He asked after a pause, trying to digest shocking the news.

“I told you not to ask anything more” Jiyong snarls. “I'm confused” He adds clearly irritated. “ing , Jiyong! Don't try to act all innocent here. Your not the only one involved in this, Seungri is too”

“So? What can I do?” The red younger casually surrenders his hand in the air.

“You idot! How can you be so selfish” Taeyang scoffed thinking about the way his friend was acting. “We all know what Seungri feels for you. Even though I am your friend, I want to punch you to death right now”

Jiyong stands up, burying his face inside his hand. “What should I do then?”

“Do what your heart really tells you” The pink haired boy pokes the others chest. “Don't run away from reality” His voice soften. “Think about it and let's go everyones probably waiting ” 

The two friends walked out of the room, advancing towards the hotel's buffet lounge—None of the two spoke a word, Jiyong wondered about his feelings while Taeyang also thought about his friends feelings too.

“Jiyong--Taeyang” Bom called out. “The foods awesome” She proclaims.

“Yeah?” The pink boy raises a brow, a smile spread across his face. “Then I'll try it too” With that the boy leaves, leaving Bom staring at lost boy who is just staring blankly at the floor. “Jiyong” She utters, narrowing her eye, forming a crescent shape. “Jiyong” She repeats.

“Hm?” The said boy shakes his face left to right—right to left, trying notice where the voice called him from. “Bom Noona”

“You okay?” She asked her eyes still shaped in a crescent. “Yeah” The red haired boy nods and meets up with the rest of the gang sitting on the large rectangular table. “GD” They say as soon as they see him, asking him to sit down which he does.

Seungri was sitting on the other side of the table beside Jonghoon and daesung, laughing along with them not even glancing once at Jiyong who stared at him with desperation and guilt filled in his eyes.

“Little brother try the food. It's from your money anyways” Dami who was sitting beside him, teased. “Noona, I'm going back to my room” He whispers to her. 

“What? Why? you just got here and didn't even eat anything” She worriedly looked at him but soon smiling at the curious people on the same table assuring them that everything was alright. “Are you okay, Jiyong?” She whispered to her brother. “Just a bit tired”

“Should I come with you?”

“Noona I'm fine, Just tired that's all” Dami felt something weird about Jiyong's behaviour today cause normally he's rude if she interferes in his way of living.

whats up wrong with him? Did something happen?

“Jiyong, You know you have me right? You can tell me anything” She says, giving him a pat to excuse him himself.

Soon the boy escapes to his shared room, drowning on the soft bed. “Today was horrifyingly a long day” He places a hand just beneath his forehead. Taeyang's voice rings inside his head ‘Do what you heart really tells you’. “But what does my heart really want..?” He questions.

Why did I kiss him? Why did it feel so good? Why did it hurt so much to to reject him? Why did I had the urge to explain him everything? Why did it hurt so much to see him ignore me? What's the burning sensation I get whenever I see him with someone else? What's the weird fuzziness I get when I close to him? Why do I have the urge to touch him? 

What are all these feelings I am feeling?

What the hell is wrong with me? Am I sick?

All these thoughts were making him more confused then before. He knew his relation with seungri was ruined, after he kissed and rejected him. And it hurted him to think about that, it hurted him to know that the feelings left inside seungri for him was only hate.

“I don't know what I am feeling but whatever it is, I don't want to feel it” He utters in a dreadful manner.

All the fiendish thoughts and emotion made him weak and giddy, eventually making him fall asleep.

“Jiyong” A soft pleasant feminine voice adressed. “Jiyong” The lady repeated once again, caressing the hair of a little boy placed on her lap.

Leisurely, the closed eye lids opened, blinking a few times before fully opening wide. Smilingly, the boy stares at the lady. “My child, are you awake?” She lovingly asked, still lightly the dark hair.

In response the other hums. “I had a dream, mom” The little boy speaks. “A dream where my friends asked me to choose between two of my toys, dragon and the panda” He innocently shared.

The mother gently laughs at her child before nodding at him. “And what did you choose?” She asked curiously. “I choosed the dragon since all of my friends liked it and played with it whenever they came over”

But the child had a sad expression casted on his face, noticing the grief the mother inquired about it. “Aren't you happy?” The boy shakes his head. “I wanted to choose the panda” He tells in a low voice.

“Then why didn't you choose the other?”

“Because I was afraid that if I choosed the panda everyone would laugh at me” He exclaims sadly, completely showing regret. “Jiyong ah, Don't care what the others think of you. Do what makes you feel happy. Follow the melody that your heart sings for you” She kissed the forehead of the boy. “Oh and realize what you want before its too late”

“GD” A masculine voice was heard in the present. The sleeping boy tossed and turned, taking few minutes to wake up, to see his best friends gathered around him.

why did I dream about her.

Anger “Top..YB..” He uttered in a husky voice.  Soon, his eyes immediately averted towards the empty space beside him.

“Seungri is in daesung and Jonghoon's room” Taeyang informed. “He slept there yesterday”

So he didn't come here at night... 

“Anyways pack up, we gotta go now” Top announced instantly, tapping his feet on the ground. “You woke up pretty late. And you didn't even eat yesterday, you okay?--” He stopped when he heard a rumbling sound from the just-woken-up boy's tummy. “That explains a lot” Taeyang teasingly smirked, earning a glare from the teased boy.

Jiyong stood up, advancing towards the bathroom to freshen up. He could clearly hear Taeyang asking Top to go on without him, who was fussing over the fact that the other two were hiding something from him. “Those two are a pain in the ” The red haired boy groaned, shutting the door of the bathroom.

Not long, the bathroom door opened, much to Jiyong's annoyance, his friend intrudes. “Privacy is also a thing dude!” He makes a face. “Oh, really? I didn't know that” The pink haired boy sarcastically simpered.

This statement earned a heavy sigh in return. “Whatever, Let's get directly to the point. Seungri what is he to you? I was thinking about it the whole night” Once again a heavy sigh was heard. “Sewriously! What twype of qwuestion is thwat” Jiyong's voice was getting muffled due to him brushing his teeth, at the moment.

“A serious one” Taeyang took a deep breath, calming down his tone. “Now answer me”

“My servant, Obviously!” The other boy snapped while gargling. “Well, you aren't treating him as one. You guys look more like a couple--” A fake puking sound stopped the older to speak further more. “Ew. What the , bae”

“Didn't you feel disgusted when you kissed him?” He slightly snarled. “Are you mocking me?” The red haired furiously turned around. “No, I'm not mocking you. But you are mocking yourself”

“ you, bae! I'm already confused don't bloody confuse me more”

“No one is confusing you, arrasso? I just asked you a freakin question, its you whose confusing and twisting the whole damn thing” Taeyang panted, as he lashed out completely on the other, who looked at him with wide brown eyes. “I didn't mean to yell, Jiyong. It's just that--I'm your friend and I care about you. And seeing you lost and lying, made me angry” He sighed, exiting the bathroom along with the gloomy boy following behind. “Remember me and you made a promise, that we won't ever lie or hide anything from each other. You broke that promise, Ji. You are hiding things from me now”

“Bae” The red haired boy suddenly hugged the older, startling him. “I don't know anything. I feel a weird fuzzy feeling whenever Seungri's around” He nuzzled  on the crook of the others neck. “Its like he makes me forget about my worries. I go crazy with the fact that someone else is close to him. I, alone, want to be close to him, touch him, hold him” He ends with a sigh but a slight unintentional smile was casted around his face.

“Jiyong, You’re in--” Taeyang immediately stopped midway, tightening the hug. “I'm in What?” The boy asked with no clue. “Nothing you'll understand later, dumbhead”  A smile could he guessed on the olders face just by hearing his voice.

“Yah! Who you calling a dumbhead, dumbhead!” Jiyong argued back like a little kid but once again a rumbling voice was heard. “I think your stomach needs some special care” The pink haired boy teased.

“Shut up!” 

The two friends joined a sulking Top in the breakfast buffet. “Yo, Seunghyun!” Jiyong flaunted his flashing gummy smile at the taller boy, while munching on his sandwich. Ignored, Taeyang also gaved a shot to greet the moody boy. “Hi, Top”

Being ignored once again, The red haired snarls. “Can.you.hear.me?”. Finally the tall black haired boy turns his head towards the two neglected friends. “What do you want?” He asked.

“What do I want? Why are you acting like this? Whats wrong with you, man?” Jiyong narrowed his eyes, demanding only straight answers.

“Nothing”

They take a seat beside him. “I think I'm not part of the group anymore” Top says, letting out a deep sounded snigger. “Hm. ‘Go on without us’ That's what you say to me since we got here. Definitely, you guys are hiding something from me” 

“What the . We are not hiding anything from you. Its just youngbae’s interrogations, that's all”

The haired boy raised a brow. “Interrogation?” He repeats. “He keeps asking ty questions and things, you know. Motherly duties” The red haired haired boy earned a deadly glare.

“Excuse me ‘Motherly Duties’ but you are the one who raises these types of thought inside me. And my assumptions were right! I knew there was something between you and seungri” The pink boy spills everything in anger but soon to be regretting it.

“GD and Seungri? Something between them? Huh?”  Top launched his never-ending questions. “N-Nothing, hyung ah” Taeyang bites his lips, trying to control his stuttering.

“We had a fight with each other” Jiyong handles the situation. But actually he did tell the Truth, they did fight (just excluded the kiss).

“Did that little mouse talk back at you?” He nodded in response. “Why that little--”

“Its was clearly Jiyong's fault though” The pink boy adds while cutting the other off. “We are not starting this again” The younger between the two said, glaring at the boy who just spoke. “No one is starting this again except you. And who told you to call me a mother. Do I look like a female?” The argument was slowly heating up.

“Well, your attitude to interfere in other peoples life surely resembles feminine characteristics as well as your short height” This one statement, awoke the burning anger inside Taeyang. Top knew things have had gone down and a huge quarrel is soon to be taken place due to a stupid matter.

A fist met up with Jiyong's cheeks. “in’ hell bastard” The pink haired boy huffed in fury. “How dare you!” He snapped at the boy, who had his palm casted around his cheek in pain.

“Yah! You dared to punch me! I'll-- ”

“You'll what? Punch me back? Kick me? Or far worst more kill me? Yeah, okay! Do it, Jiyong, Do it! What else can you do except lash out your frustration on others. Firstly, you engaged Eun Ji Ah and showed her fake affections just because you feared your dad was going to cut ties with you. Secondly, you kissed seungri but rejected him cause you were afraid of what the world will say about you. You know what, ji, Your just a scary cat, seriously. You are just a person who's scared to face reality. You run away from people and you hurt them just for yourself. You are just a selfish human being, Jiyong. You do not even have the right to label yourself as a man or woman cause no one is as selfish, stupid, scared, and pathetic like you. You  don't even have the guts to accept your love for seungri, you deserve no one!”

“Yb! Stop, bro!” Top quickly launched himself at the pink, grabbing him and dragging to the chair. “He was just joking. Why did you punch him” The elder spoke, trying to calm the other.

Jiyong on the other hand, stared at the angry boy with his eyes filled with hurt. He wasn't crying but from the inside, he was deeply damaged. “So...This is what you think about me? Selfish, pathetic, scared and stupid..? I deserve no one? Yeah, your right. Maybe that's the reason why she left, my dad became abusive and demanding, and now you are going away from me. I wonder what I ever did to deserve this all”

“Jiyong, do you know what? I am not leaving you. To be honest, no one is, its you who makes everyone leave because your not sincere with the paths you choose” Taeyang stood up, advancing towards the sulking boy. “You always push away people who love you, just because you fear what the others will think about you” He closed his eyes, exhaling an excessive amount of carbon. “I'm going back to my room”

Top who was standing dumbfounded at a near distance was approached by the pink haired boy. “Make sure he eats, okay? He hasn't eaten anything since yesterday” He whispered, before walking away.

The older goes towards the breakfast menu and takes numerous amount of food. He then places himself just opposite of Jiyong. “You better eat this” He points towards the food, while eating some of it too. “I don't feel like it” The younger replied, biting his lips.

“Fine, don't” Top shrugs his shoulders and resumes eating. Annoyance could be felt from the other side of the table. “Aish!” The red haired boy finally gives up and munches on the food as well.

Meanwhile the rest of the gang were present in thereroom packing up their stuff. Seungri was still in daesung and Jonghoon's shared room. “I have to get my bag from the other room” The younger uttered, silently.

Daesung who was packing his bag, turned around. “Then go and get it” Seungri made a sad face, remembering about the hurtful memory that took place yesterday. He wasn't able to share it with daesung since Jonghoon was also present there.

“Whats wrong seungri? You have been acting weird. You even slept here yesterday and not with GD. Is everything okay?” The elder inquired, worried. Something seemed off and it was obvious. “Did something happen?” Jonghoon also entered the scene, raising a brow.

“Uh, No” The younger awkwardly laughed, trying to change the subject. “Nothing's wrong hyung” He smiled, even though he wanted to cry.

“Don't lie” The older hugged the boy knowing that something is definitely off. “You can talk in front of Jonghoon. He's a nice guy and knows everything ” He whispered.

“He kissed me and then rejected me soon after” Tears steamed down Seungri's face, he sobbed as if he were a little child lost in a new city. “It hurts” He wondered if only pain was written in his destiny. If no, then why was pain only crossing paths with him. He had heard that after the rain comes the rainbow, but how long does it take the rain to stop? A day? A month? A year? But he had waited more than the days could be counted. He was tired, Tried of waiting. His heart refused to accept this tragedy, he wanted love, he wanted affections.

“Dont cry” Daesung cooed, lightly gently the youngers hair. “Jonghoon, can you go with Seungri to get his bag” Before Seungri could protest, the other was already prepared to go with him. Without any power to protest more, he walked out of the room along with the other.

“Seungri shi” Jonghoon addressed, lovingly. “Yes?” The said boy replied, sadly glaring at the ground. “Are you okay?” Seungri just hummed in response.

“Anyways, Seungri shi, how old are you?” Jonghoon asked, quickly changing the subject when he sensed awkwardness filling the air. “Seventeen” The other replied. “I am seventeen too. Which month?”

“December”

“March. Haha I'm the hyung” The older tried to sound funny. They reached the room and seungri gulped as he swiped the card on the door lock. Luckily, Jiyong wasn't present there and the room was empty. He took  breath of relief. “Wow the view is so nice from here” Jonghoon exclaimed, quickly going to the large glass window while seungri went over to the bathroom to get his bag. He realized that he was wearing Jiyong's clothes and quickly changed into his old dried clothes.

He walks out of the bathroom, And memories of yesterday flooded in his mind. His hand formed into a fist, he inhale and exhaled, trying to calm down. “I hate you” He mumbles under his breath. “I hate you so much”

Grabbing his bag, he immediately turns towards the exit before remembering the presence of Jonghoon. “Hyung, I'm done. Let's go” He says to the boy who still had his face turned towards the window.

“Seungri shi....” The older boy speaks. Seungri knew something was different, the older boys face showed a different gesture. “H-Hyung” He stuttered as the other boy walks closer.

“Seungri shi” Jonghoon repeats again, biting his lips and closing his eyes. The sunlight reflected on the youngers face, his brown hair glowing light brown at the exposure. He grabs his hand which startles Seungri. “I wanna go on a date with you” This leaves the younger speechless. “I know you love someone else and I respect that. But I want you to give me a chance, to prove my love for you. We barely know each other thats why I want to start it of as a casual date”

Jiyong who was just outside the room was eavesdropping on the conversation of the two.

Inside, Seungri just looked on without uttering anything. “Go on a date with me, Lee Seungri” Jonghoon proposed, tightening the grab of the interlocked hands, nervously.

    To be honest I am so scared. I don't think that this chapter is good but I tried. But you guys love it right? I didn't felt like updating since I was on my vacation. Plus I wrote this chapter twice since the first one felt so harsh and cruel, I decided to rewrite the whole chapter again.

And exams are finally over and the days of laziness starts. P.s guys do you like Jonghoon here? I don't ship seungri with anyone except Gd but I feel like making Seunghoon moment here lol. Is that their ship name seunghoon? I really don't know.

And I apologize for taking so long to update. I'll try to update the next chapter soon.( don't I always say that?) T____T Its not my fault I am so busy(lazy). Also I am writing a new story “Behind the mobster's eyes” (No chapter released yet—In process) 

I don't know why I love writing things here lol I could write a whole essay here FFFF. Don't you think Nyongtory is really sweet these days. Well I hope hey stay like that. 

Lastly, do comment! ( I read them all and smile like an idiot). Oh, and one last thing, this kiss was Seungri's first kiss but Jiyong doesn't know that. 

Thank you for all the comments, subscriptions, readers and votes! Love you all!

Does anyone even read this nonsense I always write here?