Date:19 April XXXX

Dear Diary:

I suppose I should've have known who it was... I really should have.If I had placed the pieces together sooner,then I would've known without having to ever ask Joshua.I suppose a lot of people must feel like this after they've learned something.All the clues just hit them in the head.

Well,I suppose I should start at the very beginning,eh?

I finally confronted Joshua.I called him and we met at Creel's,on my request.He didn't seem to mind,which in the old days would have sent warning bells off in my head,but we've both changed,so I don't mind.

It was almost immediately that I confronted him.

"Who was it,Joshua?" I asked,trying to stay calm.I didn't want to ask,in all honesty,but at the same time,I needed to know.I needed to find out why and if I had to,I would track down that person and question why.

"I... can't tell you," Joshua murmured,shifting his eyes away from me.

"Why not?" I yelled. "Why the not?"

He sat there,staring at me with a hopeless look on his face.I kept my eyes on him.I needed him to tell me.I needed to know why.As much as I hate to admit it,Joshua isn't one to rush into things without thinking them through.No matter how much he says he loves me.I don't care.If I can't find out why,then everything wouldn't matter.Everything would fall.All I thought I knew would prove false.

And the Stars would win.

Deep down,I knew I didn't want the Stars to win.Deep down,I knew I just wanted Joshua back.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked quietly.

I nodded,feeling dread creep up my spine.I wanted to know,but i didn't want to.After all,this was something that I had been searching for a year.But you understand,the person could make the betrayal that much worse.I know its insane,but I was thinking that maybe I had already lost everything.

Joshua looked at me guiltily.I could feel my heart stop for a second as I sat there,waiting for him to respond to my inquiry.I had gathered up my courage and right now,I'm determined to know everything. the doubts in my head.I would ignore them!

And I meant everything,by the way.This was the only way that I could ever let the Stars go.For Joshua,I wanted to let the Stars go.I wanted a relationship again,but in order for that to happen,I needed to know this.It was essential to know the answer.Jeez,couldn't the bastard stop staring at me like a kicked puppy and answer my question already? Didn't he realize how important this was?

"Junghan,I..." he began slowly.I looked at him expectatnly.C'mon,Joshua,just tell me."It - It's complicated!"

I snorted in disbelief.I mean,come on.He was telling me that this was complicated.I already knew it was,but I was trying to simplify it.

"Try me," I growled.

"Fine," he responded.He sighed deeply and I stared at him,silently begging him to begin.

"He was always watching you," he snarled,clenching his fists together on the table."Even though he knew about us and seemed to support us,he was always after you.Like a predator,he stalked you.He wanted you.I don't know if you saw it.Mingyu and Wonwoo did nothing.When I asked them about it,Wonwoo dismissed it and Mingyu told me that it was my job to look out for you.They offered to help if I absolutely needed it but they thought that my observations were unfounded and that I was just paranoid."

He paused.I could only guess what was going through his mind.He was staring into the distance and I could only wonder as to why.Maybe he made a promise not to tell me,I don't know.If I were him,I'm not quite sure I'd be able to tell me either.

"So I confronted him.I arranged a meeting with him and told him that you were mind and that he should stop stalking you.He laughed at me.He told m that it was your choice to do as you pleased.Don't get me wrong.I agree with him there,but I still couldn't stand the thought of the two of you together."

"So I asked him,what would make him leave you alone? He told me what I had to do.And it was disgusting.I won't go into details here.I hate myself for what I did,but believe me when I say,I did it all for you."

"An on our anniversary?" I prompted solemnly.I was beginning to see the full picture,but it was only that particular day that I couldn't find to fit.I mean,surely Joshua could have fended off whoever it was advances on that day.

"On that day,I was drugged and ," he murmured softly,almost inaudibly.

"What?" I let out,surprised.

Joshua sighed to himself."I answered the doorbell,thinking it was you forgetting your keys again.He was there.I tried to shut the door again,but he shoved it back at me.It hit me in the forehead,effectively making me dizzy and a little out of it.He got me during that time.He dragged me to our bedroom and tied my wrists together.I wasn't really aware of all of this,I was too busy trying to get my head back on my shoulders.He made me drink this strange sort of liquid.I can only think it was an aphrodisiac.It burned,but made me feel so hot - so burning hot.I struggled but whatever he gave me made me weak.I could barely move."

He stopped,a flash of pain on his face,lingering in his eyes."Then he took me."

That was all he said right then.I could almost see the emotions he must have felt back then running through his eyes.I had a fair idea of who it was,but I needed him to say his name.

"You haven't given me a name,Joshua," I interjected into his train of thought.

Joshua stared at me for a moment before telling me.

"It was Seungcheol."

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another short chapter im sorry im just little bit busy today... Why i force myself to write even im busy cuz i hate making people wait...

And finally the secret is out as the truth has been spoken.Why it takes 6 chapters to tell the truth is cuz i like to make them become closer before the truth is spoken.. <3

Also im sorry to S.coups again....