Date: 8 April XXXX

Dear Diary:

When we were younger,before all of this happened,there was one question that you asked me - just one as I got onto that train that led me far away from you.I've thought about writing you often,but you get so much mail as it is,I wonder if a letter from me would even matter.

I suppose I really don't care though,whether I write to you or not.I could just as well write for you.Being in a band as I allow you to do something like that.

I remember the question well.

'If you could be anything you wanted to be,what would you be?'

I remember my asnwer too.I said that I would want to be a bird _ that I would want to fly up into the skies with no possibility of beiung weighed down by troubles or worries.I said that I would want to glide on the wind and listen to it tales and that I would want to fly away from all my problems.

You laughed when I told you that.I can still remember the sound.

You don't know how much I've held onto you.It's been a year since I parted from you to start this band.I didn't want to leave you but I needed to find myself and I could only find two of me when I was with you.

They do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder.All absence does to me is make my heart hurt.Is that what fonder means?" I was never good with words,as you well know.

You used to tease me about it all the time,so I wouldn't know if you actually thought I had a brain or if I was just a good for you.Well I ever know?

I look down at the paper that I was writing on.Surprising how,even when I'm not concentrating,I can still write down lyrics.Well,that is my job after all,to write down lyrics.

It's for the show that's happening later this month.Like always,I wonder if you'll be there.Like always,I don't think I'll see you.But I wrote to you,giving you a ticket for free just in case you wanted to come.I don't know if you do or not.

I don't know if you even think of me anymore.

"Junghan?" a voice asks.

I look up.It's Wonwo,the drummer of my band.Behind him is Mingyu,who's our guitarist.I wanted you to play the guitar,really,but you said that you were too busy writing novels to participate in silly things like bands.

"Junghan?" Mingyu asked,noticing that I'm in my own little world again.He notices that a lot about me,but I never acknowledge that.

"Yes?" I ask,tucking a few loose strands of my silver hair behind my ear as i stare at them.

"Are you done writing the lyrics for this week's show?" Mingyu wants to know.

I stare at the paper infront of me,nodding.

"Can we hear them then?" Wonwoo prods.He knows that I hate being poked and prodded and I think the only people besides you who can do it are these two right here.After all,they're closest to me these days.

I nodded to them,silently agreeing that I was going to sing the lyrics to them.They sit down,making themselves comfortable as I stare at the page infront of me.

Song: Bang Bang By Jessie J ft Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj.

I finished up the last node and turned to my bandmates."So... yeah... that's what I was thinking of," I told them..They just kind of stared at me and I shrugged.I had gotten used to this staring game that the two of them played from time to time.

After all,I'm an idiot.I don't get angry when people call me idiot... not like I used to be with you around,because I've finally admitted to myself that I am one.And an idiot isn't supposed to be able to belt out lyrics even during a depression.

Yes,that's what I'm going through without you... a depression.You don't even know what this is doing to me.I let you into my heart and this is how you repay me,you bastard? The minute I leave,you ing forget about me... it's not like I've tried anything to get back in contact with you.

You're a grade A novelist who got a nice .All the giurls in the world are after you for a good and after a while,I just couldn't stand the fact that you were screwing thm almost as much you screwed me.What number was I on the list,Seven,Eight? One hunderd? Who knows? I don't know anymore,I don't think I ever did.

Jeez,thinking of you... that's all I do anymore.I sit back,look out my window and wonder what the sky sees - Whether it can see you... whether you're thinking of me while you write.

While you screw...

No,I'm not going to think about that anymore!I'm not going to think about you anymore! I'm going to live my life,for the first time,without you.

I'll forget you even though I love you

Joshua...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1 complete...I'm sorry if its too short.I'll try making longer chapters.

and i like to imagine those 3 singing that song lol its not a bad song tho.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HDdjwpPM3Y&index=7&list=RDO-zpOMYRi0w  the song

Mingyu as Jessie J

Junghan as Ariana Grande

Wonwoo as Nicki Minaj

idk if the URL works for you