[CONTENTID1]Alternate Universe[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]By: CMelodie[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

› Title [ 7/10 ]

Your title is fine, but it is plain and obvious. But I guess, that is just what you wanted to apply on the story, an alternate universe. Fret not, your title does not define the whole story, because we both know what happened right? C:

› Description and Foreword [ 7/10 ]

I liked how you put the quote in your description, you pointed out a hint for the whole story. But the thing is, your description is a bit common, and simple. I suggest you to elaborate more about the story at your description but it did got my heart skipped a bit because dang, I couldn’t wait to read xD

› Plot [ 10/15 ]

Ha, this one is actually a problem. The plot is there, but I don’t see where it is going throughout the story. I must say, it was supposed to be interesting because I know you might had planned it thoroughly, but it is too draggy for me. They were a lot of incidents in the story such as about Hakyeon’s parents, Hongbin’s dream, Hyuk’s little problem, etc. I don’t see when it’s going to resolve anytime soon in the future. I see lots of potential for it to elaborate more. Remember to keep it simple but somehow understandable.

› Character Development [ 7/10 ]

I loved how you portrayed Hyuk’s, Hakyeon’s and Taekwoon’s characters in this story. I could finally came up with a conclusion about Hyuk is that he was having a phobia or something that led him to think that people hated him when actually he was loved by everyone (excluding the bullies, ofcourse). Hakyeon’s character so far is my favourite character because of his personalities. I felt pity for him because of the problem with his parents, and yet he never abandoned his little br