His mom called.  “Can we meet him?’

Kim Dong-Hyub had not yet told his parents who he was seeing.  “I will figure out soon”

.....

Kim Dong-Hyub “My mom wants to meet you.”

Han Tae-sun “Does she know my name yet?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “No, I have not told her”

Han Tae-sun “You know why I am like this right?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “I know.  One of these days, they have to know you Tae-sun”

Han Tae-sun “It does not feel comfortable”

…..

Han Tae-sun “Why don’t you tell her who I am.  Prepare her”

Kim Dong-Hyub “Okay”

……

Kim Dong-Hyub’s mom looked up ‘Han Tae-sun” on the internet.

Her son had told he was a musician and was a model.  He was very talented, produced music for the young pop music out there. 

She found some articles.  But mostly she found pictures.  She did not like the pictures.

He looked like a punk!

‘How my precious son is with him?’ she wailed when she showed the pictures to his dad.

….

“Mom, it is an image.  He is not like that.  He was a model.  So, his pictures are him just modeling.  It is not him”

…..

After leaving his modeling days behind, Han Tae-sun had changed his hair to brown.  He still liked his accessories.  He kept his hair slightly short.  Depending on his day’s appointments, he styled his hair accordingly.  Coming from an industry that had a lot to do with looks, he was always aware and conscious.  Despite all his insecurities, he knew he was good looking.  He wanted to make sure he used it to his advantage. 

….

Kim Dong-Hyub’s parents wanted to meet him.  He had to be respectable.  He could not be his surly self.  It did not matter what he was.  For Kim Dong-Hyub’s parents, he had to make sure he looked normal.

Han Tae-sun removed his earing.  That had to go.  He removed all his accessories.  He got a suit.  He modeled it around Kim Dong-Hyub.

“You look so weird” Kim Dong-Hyub said.

“What do you want me to do?” Han Tae-sun asked exasperated.

“Not wear a suit.  What is wrong with you?” Kim Dong-Hyub asked.

“I need to look respectable” Han Tae-sun said.

They both agreed on that.   

The fact that they had to discuss Han Tae-sun’s wardrobe and his accessories made them laugh.  But, it felt like fun. 

They decided finally.  No earrings.  No rings or bracelets.  He would wear normal pants and normal t-shirt.  It made Han Tae-sun feel vulnerable.   

He was very scared.

…..

They were never going to meet in Kim Dong-Hyub’s town.  Mom was planning to come down on her own.  They decided to meet at a restaurant Kim Dong-Hyub knew mom would be comfortable with.

She was just meeting her son with his friend. 

......

Kim Dong-Hyub’s mom was …mom. Han Tae-sun had no doubt of her love to Kim Dong-Hyub. As she hugged him and pressed him to her chest, he felt an ache.  He waited.  Kim Dong-Hyub said “Mom, this is Han Tae-sun.”  Han Tae-sun bowed as politely he thought was possible.

He felt glad, guilty, sad, lonely, happy all at the same time.  “I am Han Tae-sun.  Take care of me”

Kim Dong-Hyub’s mom then hugged him.  That one hug made him feel warmer than whatever he had felt for a long time.  ‘This is what mother’s hug is like’ he thought.  He was awkward.  He felt full.  ‘Was that a feeling?’

Kim Dong-Hyub understood him.  He had taken his mother’s love for granted.  It was not the same for everyone.  They both kept their hands to themselves no matter how much they felt they needed to reassure each other.  Kim Dong-Hyub wanted to comfort Han Tae-sun.  But, he was worried for his mom.  So, he kept his hands to himself.  Han Tae-sun understood.  There was no way he was going to show any intimacy towards Kim Dong-Hyub.  Not in front of him mom.  He was not going to make either of them uncomfortable.

They looked at each other and understood what each was feeling.  Today, it was all about Kim Dong-Hyub’s mom. 

……

It was a very respectable place.  It would be something Han Tae-sun would be paid to sing quietly in but not somewhere he would feel like he would belong.  He wanted to make the best of impressions.  He kept resisting his temptation to put his hands in his pocket or fold his arms.  Both were disrespectable gestures.  He fidgeted. 

Kim Dong-Hyub did not want to show too much intimacy in front of his mom.  Han Tae-sun did not know what to do with his hands.  So, they sat down at a table for four.  For the first time, even Kim Dong-Hyub wondered where he should sit.  In front of mom or in front of Han Tae-sun.  It was a very strange debate.  His mom decided for him.  ‘Come here.”  She said as she tapped her hand next to her.  Kim Dong-Hyub was relieved.  Today, he was more concerned about his mom than what Han Tae-sun was feeling.  Han Tae-sun hopefully will figure out what to do.

…..

It was very awkward.  There were no words about it. 

Kim Dong-Hyub’s mom kept looking at him.  Han Tae-sun was sure she was wondering what her son was doing with him.  He kept his face as polite as possible, answering all her questions about his music and his modeling in perspective.  The questions were not personal.  They were all about his work and he was able to deal all the pressure he felt inside. 

“What do your parents do?” she asked. 

Han Tae-sun involuntarily looked at Kim Dong-Hyub with panic.  He was not going to talk about his parents.  He could not talk about his personal life like this.  ‘Save me Dong-Hyub’. 

Han Tae-sun said “Hmmm.  My mom runs a local business. My dad is…”

Kim Dong-Hyub suddenly said very firmly.  “Mom, it is not important.”  It was not necessarily the right thing to say.  It just made everything even worse. 

Han Tae-sun felt very embarrassed but he was sure he did not want to talk about his parents.  He did not feel comfortable at all.  He did not feel Kim Dong-Hyub had prepared him or his mom for this meeting.  This was too much.  He was suffocated.  He wanted to escape.  He tried to be polite.  “I need to go to bathroom” He said as he bowed.  Then he ran.  He did not want to show he wanted to run so, he walked the best confident walk he could muster.  ‘Why had he agreed to this?’  He wanted to just disappear. 

Kim Dong-Hyub knew this evening was not going to be salvaged.  Han Tae-sun had not been in a family environment for many years now.  He was wrong to think this would work.  He did not want his mom hurt.  It was his own fault.  How could he not have prepared both of them?  Neither of them were ready yet.  He had taken his own love for his mom and Han Tae-sun for granted and thought it would work.  He continued to be senseless. 

“Mom, he has not had a good life.  I am sorry.  But, I need to go to him okay?”

She felt sorry.  She did not know anything about anything except she loved her son.  She did not know how to handle it.  It was clear she was not doing a good job.  She nodded.  She just felt sad about everything.  She wanted to make an effort.  She was not succeeding.

Her son almost ran behind Han Tae-sun.  She still was not sure what to think Han Tae-sun.  ‘Why is my baby running behind him?’

….

Kim Dong-Hyub found him in the bathroom leaning against the sink.  “We can leave” he said.

Han Tae-sun looked at him.  Knowing he was in a public place and he could not lose it.  He shook his head at Kim Dong-Hyub accusingly, and walked out.  Kim Dong-Hyub followed him. 

He called mom.  “Mom, I am sorry, I have to go.”  He felt conflicted and in the end chose to be with Han Tae-sun.  His mom would understand. 

…..

Han Tae-sun did not care if Kim Dong-Hyub was following him or not.  He hailed a cab.  He ignored everything else.  When the cab came, he gave the cab his apartments address.  Kim Dong-Hyub entered the cab before Han Tae-sun closed the door.  He kept quiet.  Han Tae-sun just looked outside, away from him.

They did not speak a word the whole way.  Han Tae-sun pushed aside when Kim Dong-Hyub tried to reach his hands. 

…..

Han Tae-sun paid the cab and walked to his apartment.  Kim Dong-Hyub kept behind him. 

Han Tae-sun “Don’t follow me”

Kim Dong-Hyub ignored Han Tae-sun’s words.  He followed him.  All the way into his apartment.  Even if Han Tae-sun had closed the apartment on his face, he would have opened it with his copy of the key.  So, it did not matter.

“This is not going to work” Han Tae-sun said.

“What is not going to work?” Kim Dong-Hyub asked.

“Your family and me” Han Tae-sun said.

Kim Dong-Hyub did not want to say anything.  He was not sure if it was going to work or not.  His family was his past, present and future.  Han Tae-sun was his future.  He did not know how it would all come together.  Between all of them, Han Tae-sun was the most vulnerable.  Right now, rest did not matter. 

“I am sorry” Kim Dong-Hyub said.  “I should not have rushed this.”

He reached out to Han Tae-sun.  Han Tae-sun pushed him.  “Go away”

“I won’t” Kim Dong-Hyub said.  But he stopped his attempt at reaching out to Han Tae-sun. 

He just went to the couch, sat and waited. 

……

Han Tae-sun ignored him.  Decided to take a shower, change and sleep.  May be Kim Dong-Hyub would go away.

…..

Kim Dong-Hyub was not going away.  He was nodding off to sleep on the couch.  Han Tae-sun wanted to sleep and couch was his bed. 

‘Ah’ Han Tae-sun groaned with frustration.

In the end, he simply had to just sleep. He woke up Kim Dong-Hyub rudely, opened the couch, put things together, and slept.  Kim Dong-Hyub simply slept next to him. 

Sometime in the night, Kim Dong-Hyub put his arms around Han Tae-sun as he snored.  Han Tae-sun snuggled feeling comfortable in the warmth.