“I am gay” Kim Dong-Hyub said.  ‘Here it comes’

Kim Dong-Hyub admired the restraint of their reactions.  His Dad was sitting on his favorite rocking armchair and mom was on the couch.  While Dad showed very little reaction on the face, he did start rocking the chair a little.  All he said was “Hmmm”

His mom on the other hand looked completely flabbergasted.  “What are you talking about honey?  You have had a girlfriend.  I thought you were dating”

Kim Dong-Hyub  “I found out I am gay recently”

Mom tried reason with him “It is not possible son.  You don’t find out you are gay at 25, you would know it already”

Kim Dong-Hyub “It’s possible that I did not know but now I am very sure”

Mom “I don’t believe it!”

Dad “What happened for you to find out?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “I met someone”

Mom “May be it was something else.  Did he try anything?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “What do you mean Mom?  I am 25.  No one can try anything on me”

Dad “Hmmmm”.  Kim Dong-Hyub was sure he was very shocked. 

Mom “What are we going to tell our friends?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “Mom, why do you have to tell anything to your friends?”

Mom “You are the most eligible bachelor in our circle.  They keep talking about the girls they know.  What am I going to tell them?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “I don’t know.  I need to know if I have your support”

Dad “What do you mean support?”

Kim Dong-Hyub was finding this conversation very strained.  There was major tension in the room. 

Kim Dong-Hyub “Does anything change for me?  Are you okay with it?  Can I continue to come home?  You know all that!”.  He rubbed his eyes, moved his hands in his hair in frustration and then finally put his face in his hand.  ‘Why are they being so cryptic?”

Mom “Oh my god”

Dad “You are our son.  That fact does not change” he finally expressed some emotion.  Kim Dong-Hyub could not really identify what that emotion was.

Kim Dong-Hyub was surprised it was his dad who actually said that.  His mother on the other hand still was saying “Oh my god”

He did not know what to tell her.

His Dad said “How do you know for sure?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “Dad, I don’t want to get into details.  All I can tell you is I am hundred percent sure”

Mom “Did you meet someone?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “Mom I already told you I did”

Mom “Oh my god”

Dad “If you are sure, you are sure.  You realize it is a tough life choice for you”

Kim Dong-Hyub “Dad, you are a doctor.  You know it is not a choice” He was exasperated.  His parents should know it is not a choice.  ‘He probably should not get irritated right now’

Mom “But you had girlfriends right?  You told me each time I called something about dating”

Kim Dong-Hyub “Yeah.  I was not being entirely truthful then.  I was dating someone else.  I am sorry I lied”

Mom “You were dating someone else? Was that?....Oh my god”

This was the most uncomfortable talk he had ever had with his parents.  He was still not sure where this was going.

Dad “Hmmm”

No one spoke for a while….

Kim Dong-Hyub had said what he needed to say.  He wanted to wrap this up unless they had something to say to him or ask him.  It looked they were speechless. 

Kim Dong-Hyub  “I am not exactly sure what I am hearing.  I know it is a shock.  It was something new for me too.  But I came mentally prepared for anything.  Right now, I don’t know what you both feel.  I don’t think this conversation is going anywhere.  I will be in my room now” Kim Dong-Hyub hoped it conveyed his frustration and his need for them to understand. 

Dad “Hmmm”

Mom “Oh my god” bursting into tears.

Kim Dong-Hyub went to his room, locked it.  He was feeling nauseated.  ‘Mom burst into tears?’  What did expect?  Did he expect them to say congratulations?  He chided himself.  They are probably shocked out of their minds.  At least they did not scream and ask him to leave the house.  He would have to just wait and see.

He called Han Tae-sun.

Han Tae-sun immediately picked up.  He heard background noise.

Kim Dong-Hyub “Where are you?  So noisy there”

Han Tae-sun “I am trying to socialize.  Reconnect with life.”

Kim Dong-Hyub “What are you talking about?”

Han Tae-sun “Not important, tell me what is happening.”

Kim Dong-Hyub “It is noisy.  Go somewhere quiet”

Han Tae-sun “I am walking already.  Tell me.  Did you tell them?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “Yeah” Han Tae-sun heard the stress in his voice.

Han Tae-sun tensed.  “And?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “And, I don’t know.  I told them.  I think they are just shocked.  Mom I don’t think believes it.  Dad said it is a tough choice.  I am sure he was just shocked.  But I am in my room right now.  The conversation was not going anywhere.  Mom burst into tears in the end.  I don’t know what they are talking right now and what is going to happen.  I am leaving in the morning.  I feel it is a little unfinished.  I am frustrated and a little angry”

Han Tae-sun “Well, it is a shock.  So, may be they will talk to you later.  There is still time before you travel back.”

Kim Dong-Hyub “I don’t know.  They looked shocked.” 

Han Tae-sun “You will be stressed till they come back with something.  So, nothing we can do but wait right?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “Yeah”

Han Tae-sun “Tell me exactly what you said, they said and how it went”

So, Kim Dong-Hyub told him in detail his mom’s reaction and dad’s and what he had told them.

Talking about it again started making Kim Dong-Hyub better. 

Han Tae-sun listened patiently.  Then he said “I think it is good Dong-Hyub.  There was no hysteria and chest beating.  That means they may have rational conversation.  I think it will be good”

Kim Dong-Hyub “You think so?”

Han Tae-sun “I feel definitely good about it.  I thought your dad might have more issues but he sounded like he was at least processing it instead of reacting”

Kim Dong-Hyub “Yeah.”

Han Tae-sun “Let’s just wait.  Be patient okay?  It will all work out”

Kim Dong-Hyub “Yeah”

Han Tae-sun then changed the subject.  “I am actually with Park Hyun-ki , Woo-bin and one more guy.  Remember the straight one?  Soo-hyuk. “

Kim Dong-Hyub immediately felt his jealousy.  “How come you are hanging out with them?”

Han Tae-sun “I am trying to make amends that is all”

Kim Dong-Hyub “Why is that important?  I don’t like that Park Hyun-ki guy”

Han Tae-sun chuckled at that “I know.  But you trust me now right?”

Kim Dong-Hyub sullenly said “Yeah.  But I don’t trust him”

Han Tae-sun controlled his reaction.  His snappiness coming back to him in an instant.  ‘Today is not a good day to be Han Tae-sun.’  So, he suppressed his irritation. 

Han Tae-sun “There was a time if you spoke like that, I would get angry.  I don’t anymore.  That is improvement” Han Tae-sun reminded Kim Dong-Hyub.

He did not want Kim Dong-Hyub to be disturbed about silly thing like him going out with only people he knew. 

Kim Dong-Hyub “I don’t like you meeting him.  It will just encourage him”

Han Tae-sun “Hmmmm.  I will keep that in mind.  I don’t want to upset you right now about this Dong-hyub”

Kim Dong-Hyub “I am upset”

Han Tae-sun “I love you.  Want me to do relieve you of your stress?  We have not done phone yet”

Kim Dong-Hyub laughed a little.  “It would have been good if I was not in my parents’ house after announcing I am gay.  I am not really thinking y thoughts right now”

Han Tae-sun breathed on the phone.   Made his voice as y as he possibly can “I can make you”.  He cringed himself. 

Kim Dong-Hyub felt a stirring but he knew Han Tae-sun was just trying to make him feel better.  “Go away.  No touching anyone but!”

Han Tae-sun “No touching.  Promise”

Han Tae-sun again “You feel better?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “I will.  I will let you go now”

Han Tae-sun “Okay.  Call me again if you want to talk”

Kim Dong-Hyub “I will.  Later”

‘Bastard is hanging out with those guys.  Of all the days, today!’  He cursed at Han Tae-sun.  Kim Dong-Hyub knew Han Tae-sun met his friends or partners every time he did runway shows.  He had overcome his jealousy over time.  But, the idea that people who used to sleep together could hang out all the time rubbed him the wrong way.  Bumping into them during shows is one thing.  Actively seeking them out was another.  Kim Dong-Hyub did not like it.  At least it distracted him not to think about the real problem.  May be he will talk to Han Tae-sun once he reaches back. 

Just when he was about to call Han Tae-sun again just to annoy him, he heard a knock on his door.

It was mom.

“Son, can we talk to you?”

No honey this time, Kim Dong-Hyub noticed.  He was overly sensitive.

He opened the door and went out.

Dad was still sitting on the chair.  Mom went back to the couch.

Mom burst into tears again.  Dad looked at her “Stop it”

Dad “This was a shock.  But it does not change what we feel for you.  You are our son”

Mom “But, son, it will be so difficult for you”  she wailed. 

Kim Dong-Hyub “It is not difficult for me mom.  It just changes who I am going to be with.  Not who I am and what I will do with my life”

Mom “It will impact everything.  Don’t take this lightly”

Kim Dong-Hyub “I am not taking this lightly at all.  No matter how it impacts anything, I am what I am mom. That can’t change.”  He begged for her to understand. 

Mom “What about children?”

A snort escaped Kim Dong-Hyub.  He could not believe they were having this conversation “What children mom?” 

Mom “You won’t have any children”

Kim Dong-Hyub “Mom.  Can we just focus? Please”

Dad intervened.  “Let us not go overboard.  You are leaving tomorrow right?”

Kim Dong-Hyub said yes.

“Does this change anything for you right now?” Dad asked.

Kim Dong-Hyub “eh?”

“School, your career choice, anything else” Dad was impatient.

Kim Dong-Hyub “Nothing changes unless a rug is pulled from under my feet.  But I am going to start getting independent”

Mom “What on earth is he talking about?” She was asking dad.

Dad snapped “I told you are our son.”

“He thinks we are going stop supporting him” Dad told mom.

Mom “Oh my god.  Did you really think that?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “I thought it might happen”

Mom burst into tears again.

Dad said “There is nothing much to talk about.  If we have to, we will talk later.  But, nothing changes just because of this”

Kim Dong-Hyub “Mom, I am sorry.  I don’t want you to cry”

Mom “You actually thought we would throw you away?” she wailed.

“I have been confused.  I am sorry.  I was not sure how you would react.  I am sorry” Kim Dong-Hyub suddenly felt very guilty about it all. 

Then Mom asked “So, you have a …ah  someone?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “Yes, I have someone”

Mom kept quiet at that. 

Dad asked “How serious is that?”

Kim Dong-Hyub “It is very serious”

Mom just sniffed.

“Were you talking to him just now?” Mom asked.

Then she gestured to his room.  “I head your voice.. You were talking to someone”

“Yes, I was talking to him” Kim Dong-Hyub said.  ‘What a silly conversation this is’

“What is his name?” Mom asked.  She was still sniffing.

“Mom, I am not ready for all that right now.  Can you stop crying?  I don’t know why you are crying. “

“This was so unexpected”. 

“I am sorry.  But it was time to tell you.” Kim Dong-Hyub said.

“How long have you known?” Dad asked slightly surprised.

“About 8 months” Kim Dong-Hyub admitted.  He felt guilty. 

“Oh my god” Mom said.  “All that time!”

“I am sorry” Kim Dong-Hyub said again.

His dad was ‘hmmmmm’ ing again. 

Everyone was was suddenly quiet.

Kim Dong-Hyub felt oppressed.  “I want to just go out for some time.  Is that okay?” he asked.  He needed to get out. 

He did not wait for them to say anything.  He took his jacket from his room and walked out.

And called Han Tae-sun.

“Hi” Han Tae-sun said.  There was no noise in the background anymore.

“It is not noisy anymore.” Kim Dong-Hyub was suspicious. 

“I left.  I am alone now”

“Did you do that because of me?” Kim Dong-Hyub asked.

“This stupid thing was the last thing I want you to get stressed about.  It’s not important.” Han Tae-sun told him with irritation in his voice.

Kim Dong-Hyub felt much better.  Selfishly, he did not want Han Tae-sun having fun with his friends right now when he was going thru this .

“Okay he said.  May be I am overly sensitive” Kim Dong-Hyub said.

“Anything more happened?”

Kim Dong-Hyub told him everything that happened.

“I wish everyone’s parents reacted like that” Han Tae-sun said. 

“They did not tell me they understand” Kim Dong-Hyub said childishly.

Han Tae-sun said “They already do.  Just come home”

“Okay”

……

His mom was waiting for him.  It had been over an hour where he had just walked around.  He realized his parents would worry, especially today.  So, he walked back.

Kim Dong-Hyub was happy she had waited. 

She did not say anything to him. He nodded at her and went to his room. 

…..

Kim Dong-Hyub was back at his own apartment the next day.  Han Tae-sun had picked him from the train station.  They did not speak much till they reached the apartment.

Once they did, they reminded each other what mattered at the moment.  Just each other.  Rest will take care of itself.  They will figure it out.

…..