Taemin fumbled with his fingers uncomfortably as the time passed. He was sitting half a meter away from Kai on a bench in the park, soft night breeze tossing his hair around.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" he asked reluctantly after a few more minutes of silence.

Kai looked down at his fingernails, his face seemingly emotionless but Taemin could tell he was bothered. "What is there to say? You ruined my date with Jinki hyung."

"I didn't ruin anything, I just tagged along. It's not like you specified you wanted to go with him alone."

The other man scoffed, his gaze trained on the foot he kept kicking the ground with. "You didn't ruin anything? Just by showing up you totally messed everything up. And like that wasn't enough you went on to interfere with everything I did."

Taemin sputtered. "Well, you tried to kiss him, was I supposed to sit and watch?!"

"I didn't try to kiss him, I was just looking at him and my body sort of just moved forward by itself? You know, because he was so- " then he shook his head, his brows furrowing. "Why am I even explaining myself to you, it's not like you were invited to come and watch me trying to have a date anyway. I didn't break my promise, I told you I was going to do my best so why would you in?"

Taemin kept silent for a longer while, his head hanging low in shame because everything he had just heard was true. "... Look, I didn't mean to- I didn't do anything out of spite. I just... feel threatened by you. Ever since I know you have feelings for him I totally hate seeing you two together. It's scary, okay? I feel like I have to do something or you'll take him away from me." he swallowed hard before looking at his friend and then back down at his clasped hands. "You don't understand how that feels. To like someone for so long, hide everything deep inside of your heart and pretend you don't feel the way you do. To accept that it's going to be a one-sided love for the rest of your life and learn how to deal with everything." he his lips and picked at the loose strand in his jeans before speaking up again after a while. "And just when you think you finally have everything under control another person shows up, claims that they like the person you've had feelings for since forever and says they're going to give it a try." Taemin laughed bitterly and run a hand through his hair in distress. "And, and like that wasn't enough, it's you, out of all people. My best friend. And that ing ."

Kai bit his bottom lip and lowered his head. "I'm sorry." He mumbled.

Taemin exhaled slowly after a few seconds and shrugged weakly. "Whatever, you can't choose who you fall for, it just happens. And it's not like you knew I liked him in the first place."

"No, you don't understand Taem. I love you, and if it was anyone else I would've given up on them for you. It's just... I don't know, when I think about giving up on Jinki hyung it just doesn't feel right. I feel like I have to do everything in my power to make him mine or I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life. And I know it might sound like a joke from a person who barely found out about their feelings and I can't explain it well. I just really can't give up on him."

Taemin nodded his head and then sighed tiredly. "It's okay... I mean, it's not okay, but I understand. It's my fault for not having confessed earlier anyway, I should probably be thankful to you. Before, I wouldn't even dare to think about letting him know how I felt, it just seemed like a horrifying thing to do. Hell, it still does now, but the thought that you're going through the very same thing is a little comforting."

Kai smiled to himself and huddled a bit closer to his friend making their sides touch, before grabbing the hand resting on the other's man thigh and squeezing it lightly. Taemin squeezed back and let his body relax a bit. He absolutely hated to fight with Jongin. 

He looked up at the starless Seoul sky, before scrunching up his nose in distaste. "When you said 'I love you' it was really gross."

"S-shut up." Kai let go of his friend's hand and crossed his arms over his chest, his cheeks lightly dusting with pink in embarrassment. 

Taemin nudged him with his elbow softly to take the sulky pout off his lips. "I love you too." 

Jongin faked a retching sound. "Ew, feelings. That was really gross." he retorted, but there was already a small smile pulling at his lips.

"Shut up, yours was a lot worse."

"Nah."

------------------------

"Hyung!' Taemin jumped onto the couch next to Onew who was peacefully reading a magazine in the dimly lit living room.

The older flipped a page lazily and hummed to let the maknae know he was listening.

"Do you want to go hang out with me? The weather's really nice tonight so I thought we could go and have some fun. What do you say?"

Onew looked up from his magazine and blinked confused. "Weren't you supposed spend the night at your parents' house today though? Since tomorrow is completely free of schedules and stuff."

"Don't worry about that hyung, I already went home yesterday for a bit! So?" Taemin beamed, his nostrils flaring expectantly.

Onew grinned back and closed the magazine before tossing it aside. "Sure, why not. Are you going to call Jongin and ask if he wants to join us?"

The younger's smile fell slightly and for some reason Onew had that weird feeling that he had just said something very wrong.

"Um, no..." Taemin answered and scratched the back of his head awkwardly, looking away. "I was hoping we could go alone, um."

"Oh. Are you guys fighting again or something?" Jinki asked concerned, carefully studying the maknae's face.

Taemin sighed in resignation, letting his arms drop to his sides. "No... We're really not, hyung. This is all me, I just wanted to spend some time with you." He suddenly looked so let down and insecure that Jinki felt like a total because it was obviously his fault.

He hurriedly reached out to grab the younger's hands before smiling apologetically. "I'm sorry, Minnie... I would love to go hang out with you." 

"Yeah?" Taemin's ears perked up, a shy smile blooming on his face.

"Of course! I love spending time with my favorite maknae!"

"I'm your only maknae..."

Onew grinned and ruffled Taemin's hair. "Which just proves my point. Let's get going then?"

The younger jumped up from the couch excited. "Okay! Let me just grab my snapback, uhh, my mask and sunglasses!"

"But it's night already, you won't be able to see anything." Onew retorted amused.

"Don't you worry hyung, I will be able to see just fine. I don't want people to bother our time alone so I want to make sure I'll stay unrecognizable."

Later on Taemin had a chance to experience for himself how ridiculous was the idea of wearing sunglasses at night. He kept tripping and bumping into things of all sorts and Jinki had the laugh of his life thanks to that, but it all turned out for the best when Jinki offered his arm to guide him through the streets (heck yes, if Taemin says so himself).

They did some shopping, went to grab a meal together, talked and talked about everything and nothing and Taemin didn't have so much fun in a really long time. On their way back to the dorm they stopped at the hand-made jewelry street stall run by some old lady.

"Such handsome gentlemen!" the lady smiled and stood up from her folding chair. "What can I get you?"

"We're just looking around, thank you." Onew replied kindly before his gaze traveled to Taemin. "Do you like anything Minnie?"

Taemin did, in fact. He was staring heatedly at two bracelets, each with a half of a small heart made from silver. The tips of his ears reddened. He really wanted to get them but they were so cheesy and embarrassing that the words wouldn't get past his lips.

"Taem if you don't like anything let's just go back to the dorm, I'm getting a bit cold standing like this." Onew sniffled cutely and reached out for the younger's hand.

Taemin lowered his head and squeezed his eyes shut. It was now or never. "... c-couple.." he mumbled, feeling his face getting hot.

Onew looked back at the maknae. "Huh? I'm sorry I didn't catch that."

"B-bracelets. Um, d-do you want to? C-couple-.." Taemin repeated, avoiding eye contact with the other man at all costs.

Onew looked down at the bracelets and then back at Taemin. "Do you want them?"

The younger nodded shyly, his cheeks probably melting now from the temperature.

The leader tried to surpass the grin that was beginning to pull at his face muscles. So damn adorable he thought, and patted the maknae's head affectionately. "We can get anything you want, Minnie."

The old lady packed the bracelets into a cute little bag and just when Onew was about to pay Taemin stopped him. "N-no hyung, let me. I-I want it to be a little gift for you."

Onew smiled and stepped away.

.

They took a walk to the nearest playground and sat down on the swings. Jinki rummaged in his jacket pocket before pulling out the bag and handing Taemin one of the bracelets.

"Fasten it for me?" he asked smiling and pulled up his sleeve a bit to expose his wrist before extending his hand to the younger.

Taemin blushed and did as his hyung asked, his hands slightly trembling from nervousness. Why did he feel like they were putting wedding rings on each other's hands?

"Now yours." Jinki smiled warmly and reached out for the younger's hand.

When he was done Taemin stared down at his wrist with pride, his cheeks as red as a tomato. He blinked slowly at the bracelet and then looked up at his hyung from under his eyelashes. "Thank you." He breathed out smiling lazily, his eyes dark and sparkly.

Jinki didn't know what happened but he felt a strong tug in his chest and then he was suddenly blushing furiously, his heart beating so fast as if he'd run a marathon. He stared at Taemin dumbfounded before snapping awake, realizing he should probably answer in some way. "I-I'm welcome. Y-you're w-welcome, I mean. You're welcome, yes." he stuttered and then coughed into his fist awkwardly. What the hell was that? "And, um. I-I should be the one saying thank you. You were the one who bought them for us after all."

He his chest with an open palm to calm his heart down and when it went back to normal he sighed with relief and then beamed. "Tonight's been really fun Taem, we should do that more often."

Taemin looked up at the older, his eyes all love-struck and smile almost splitting his face in half. "Yeah?"

Onew smiled back unwittingly. "Yeah.. You know-," he sighed and looked down at his hands worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. "A few years ago I thought I would never spend time like this with you again. I don't know if it's right of me to bring this up now, but-... back in the days, when you started to avoid me-..."

Taemin felt his bubble of happiness pop. His stomach dropped, eyes immediately traveling downwards in guilt.

"...-I was really confused. And... hurt. I didn't remember doing anything wrong to you but suddenly you wouldn't even meet my eyes. I thought something must have happened, that you had your reasons to act that way so I decided to leave you alone, to give you time to deal with whatever was bothering you. But months passed and you still treated me like I was completely invisible to you, sometimes you would even go as far as to turn away when I tried to talk to you.."

"Hyung.." Taemin croaked out, his lips trembling and eyes slowly becoming moist.

The leader smiled and ruffled the younger's hair. "I'm not saying this because I want your apologies or because I want you to give me the reason why you behaved the way you did. I want to say I'm sorry. For not being a better leader, for not trying to help you in some way. I shouldn't have gotten discouraged so easily when you ignored me, you obviously had a problem and I should've been there for you no matter what. If it was anyone else I probably would've done a better job but for some reason the possibility that you hated me completely paralyzed me. So I stayed passive and let you walk all over me." He smiled sadly seeing a tear roll down Taemin's flushed face. He reached out for the younger's right hand to let him know it was all okay. "The worst part about all this was that you were getting along perfectly fine with the other members. You would laugh at their jokes but pull a face at mine, you would let them hug you and touch you but shrug me off when I put a hand on your shoulder. You have no idea how jealous and angry that made me. I missed you so so much but I still couldn't bring myself to do anything." Onew shook his head slightly as he could feel his own tears forming at the memory. "Anyway.. spending time like this with you... It makes me really happy we're able to do that again. I really care about you a lot and I don't want to lose you a second time."

Taemin raised his unoccupied hand and wiped his eyes messily. "I'm sorry hyung. I... I shouldn't have ignored you back then, I did have my reasons but they were wrong, I was wrong. I promise I'll tell you why I did that one day, I'm-, I'm just not ready yet.."

The older smiled warmly and run his fingers through the maknae's hair lovingly. "I said it's okay, you really don't have to tell me if you don't feel comfortable with doing so. I just wanted you to know how I felt, you know, just in case you'll want to do that again sometime." he rubbed the back of his neck hesitantly.

Taemin pressed his lips tightly together and shook his head. "Never."

"I'm happy to hear that." Onew grinned and opened his arms widely. "Huggies?"

Taemin stared blankly ahead for a few seconds before he launched forward into the older's chest and wrapped himself around him, making the metal chains grind loudly. 

Onew hugged the younger back and chuckled. "I think the two of us are too heavy for this poor swing."

Suddenly he felt his phone vibrate in his trousers. He pulled out the device with his right hand, the left one still holding Taemin close, and as soon as he saw the caller ID he swallowed hard.

"H-hallo?"

"Hyung!" Onew moved the phone away from his ear. "Where are you, you promised to watch Howl's Moving Castle with me tonight!"

"I'm so sorry Minho, I totally forgot.. I'm out with Minnie, I should be back soon though, so if you want-"

"Taemin? Oh, of course you're with Taemin, it's always him. You never want to go out with me when I ask you. There are other members in the group besides Taemin, you know? For example Minho, do you remember that guy? Obviously not, because you're supposed to be watching a movie with him right now and you're having fun with someone else!"

Then Onew was met with silence. He looked down at the phone screen only to see that Minho had already hung up. "I think he's angry.." he pouted.

Taemin smiled and got off the swing. "Let's go back to the dorm before he sulks for real."

2725 words... what am I doing..

Anyways, sorry for the long wait, I've been really busy (and still am) so I've been writing this chapter bit by bit. I hope you enjoyed it and see you next time!

Please comment and tell me what you think! I'm craving feedback from you guys