Chapter 8 - Still Alive

We arrived at the commercial shoot. The set was outdoors in a park. TOP would be promoting YG's fashion line, Nona9on. As security escorted us to the set, there were at least 50 fans behind a barricade shouting and cheering. A few of them held signs proclaiming their love for TOP. I noticed one girl in particular that stood out from the crowd. Her eyes were wild and her hair was scraggly and everything she wore seemed to have TOP's name or picture placed on it somewhere. She gave me the creeps as we walked by. I shook it off and we walked towards a tent set up at the back lot of the set.

I sat in a chair in the corner of the tent, notepad out as usual, trying to work on my song. TOP was in the dressing area. When he stepped out, he looked totally different from his usual suit jacket and tie. He was wearing all black and white. The puffer jacket fit loosely over a jersey and baggy pants. He wore a large silver chain around his neck and a baseball cap. It wasn't really my style, but he made it look good. He grabbed a coffee off the food table, took a sip and followed with a sour face. His eyes immediately shifted to me. Seriously, was he going to blame me for the food service's bad coffee? He walked towards me.

"I'm tired and I can't drink that crap. Here," he handed me a 20,000 won bill, "run out and grab me an Americano." I packed away my notebook, pulled my purse onto my shoulder and started my search for a nearby cafe. "Hey, Ha Na," I heard him call and I turned back to look at him, "Thanks." I nodded mostly because I was shocked at his politeness.

As I walked off the lot, I noticed the group of fans had quieted down. The wild eyed girl from before wasn't in the crowd. I felt a sense of relief. About a half hour later, I returned with yet another tray of coffee. Since my hands were full, I held a pastry in my mouth that I planned to eat once I settled back in the tent. I was hungry. Certainly he wouldn't begrudge me the small amount of money I spent on it.

I saw TOP posing and doing various takes for the director as I set the coffee tray on one of the tables outside. I grabbed my pastry and opened the plastic wrapping. Just as I was about to take my first bite, something shiny caught my eye. It was the wild eyed girl and in front of her she was holding a knife with two shaking hands. I had no idea how she sneaked on set, but security hadn't seen her. I slowly stood up, pastry still unchewed in my mouth.

"Oppa!" she shouted. The set came to a halt and everyone turned around to see who called out. She was slowly making her way towards TOP. A security guard moved to intercept but she lashed out. "Oppa! Tell them to go away! We are soulmates and cannot be apart! We will spend an eternity together, just you and I!" This chick was completely off her rocker.

I heard screams and cries from the fans on the other side of the lot. They yelled out in terror and some were praying. A few members of the security team held the fans back from rushing the lot. The remainder of the security team formed a human barricade between TOP and the girl. You could tell that they were trying to protect the staff while trying to calculate the best way to apprehend the girl. "If you don't let me through, I'll do something terrible!" She howled. She held the knife to her wrist. "Oppa, you don't want to kill me do you?" TOP stared at the girl from behind the security guards. There was a look of shock in his eyes.

"Oppa, come with me. If you won't let me love you, then I will show you my love like this!" She started to dig the point of the knife into her flesh and made a swift on her inner arm up towards the elbow. Blood oozed from the wound and dripped onto the pavement. "Oppa, come to me or next time I will aim for my wrist! I won't live without you! My blood will be on your hands as if you killed me yourself!"

I spotted a 3x3 piece of wood about ten feet from where I was standing. It was scrap material left over after building the set. I slowly started to inch towards it as quietly as I could and with my eyes still on crazy, I bent down and picked up the wood. I didn't really process what happened next. Time seemed to slow down as adrenaline pumped through my veins. The girl poised ready to kill herself, the guards shouting words that I couldn't hear, and TOP wide eyed with fear and concern. He wasn't looking at the girl anymore, he was looking at me. I half-smiled at him in reassurance.

Softly, slowly. I chanted internally. I didn't much like the idea of getting stabbed so I prayed she wouldn't notice me creeping up behind her. I held one finger up to my mouth, silently pleading with anyone on the set not to give me away. Once I was within range, I pulled back my make-shift bat as far as I could and threw my whole body into swinging it towards her arms and upper body. She turned her head and noticed me the half second before the board connected with her body. She didn't even have time to look surprised. The knife flew out of her hands and slid on the ground towards the security team. Without slowing my momentum, I spun around the other way and aimed the board at her upper calves. The board connected again and her knees buckled. She fell to the ground a sobbing mess of tears and hysteria. The security team immediately converged on her. I dropped the wood and collapsed to my knees. My breathing was heavy and I looked down at my hands. I couldn't believe what I just did. Was I crazy? Yeah, I guess I was. I could hear cheering behind me and turned to see the crowd of fans crying and clapping. They were all looking at me.

TOP and a few members of the staff ran over to me. He bent down to where I was sitting. "Are you okay?!" His voice was frantic.

"I'm okay." I said between labored breaths.

"You could have gotten yourself killed! What were you thinking?!" His face was slowly changing from concern to anger.

"I don't know." I answered honestly. One of the assistants on set brought me a warm blanket and a cup of tea. "Oh right," I suddenly remembered, "There's coffee on the table over there. Help yourself." The set assistant looked at me as if I had sprouted a second head.

"You just put yourself in danger and you're talking about coffee?" TOP must have been staring at my second head, too.

"Enough for now, okay?" I waved him off and started to stand up. I felt a little woozy and stumbled backwards. Strong arms caught me and I was leaning back into his arms, staring up at his face. I'm not sure how long we stayed like that. It was probably only a few seconds at most, but time seemed to stop. I heard only one sound. My heart. My breath. His breath. His eyelashes were much longer than I expected. His lips were red and slightly parted.

The sound of a police car was more than enough to snap me out of that moment. I stood up quickly, brushed at the invisible dust on my clothes, bowed and ran into the tent. I didn't stick around to see his reaction.

Once inside the tent, I sat in the same chair I did before and placed my hand over my heart. What was that? I was more nervous when he caught me than I was when I took down that crazy chick. Did that make any sense? I tried to slow my breathing. Eventually a police officer came to take my statement and when we were done, I followed him out of the tent. The sun had started to set and the director postponed the remainder of the shoot for a later date.

TOP emerged from the tent in the clothes he wore earlier. "You look better in a suit. Hiphop clothes aren't really your style." I remarked. He glanced at me with apprehension. We walked towards the parking lot. Fans were still cheering and thanking me for what I had done. I smiled bashfully at them and gave an awkward wave.

Without giving me a chance to object, TOP climbed into the driver's seat. To be honest, I was happy he was driving. I still felt dizzy. I hopped in the passenger's side. He turned the key in the ignition and the car hummed to life. He shifted gear and we rolled out of the parking lot. The air was thick with silence. I couldn't take it.

"Crazy, right?" I gave an uneasy laugh. He said nothing.

"Wow, Ha Na. Thanks, Ha Na. Those are the type of things you should be saying right now." I became slightly perturbed that he was ignoring me even after all that.

"I couldn't do anything." He said softly.

I turned my head towards him, "What are you talking about?"

He seemed to be reliving that moment in his head, "I was stuck behind a bunch of security, and there you were...the only one brave enough to approach her."

"I wouldn't call it bravery." I rolled my eyes.

"Then what would you call it?" He glanced at me quickly before returning his eyes to the road.

"Opportunistic? I just saw an opening and went for it. I can't even believe I did it." I stared down at my hands, red from handing the board earlier. I saw a few slivers of wood in my palm and began to pick at them.

He opened his mouth once more, "Why did you bother? I haven't been the nicest to you..."

"Thanks for admitting that, but why wouldn't I have bothered?" I was really confused by his question. Wouldn't anyone in that situation have done the same? Or at least they would have thought about it even if they couldn't bring themselves to do it.

"You're a strange girl, Song Ha Na." he muttered.

"I'll take that as a compliment, for now." I replied.

There seemed to be a tentative truce between us for now. I stared out the window and watched the city pass by. My mind shifted to that brief moment when he caught me earlier. With all the commotion, it had slipped my mind, but now that it was quieter, it seemed as if it's all that filled my head. I wasn't repulsed by what happened, which was a shock to me because up until now, I really disliked TOP. Suddenly, he seemed more vulnerable and perhaps a tiny bit more likable. I tried to stomp out the embers in my heart as best as I could.

"Choi Seung Hyun." He blurted out.

"Huh?" I raised an eyebrow.

"My name." Seriously, I knew that much. "Call me Seung Hyun. My friends don't call me TOP."

"Okay...Seung Hyun." I murmured and he smiled. Did he just say we were friends? I really wanted to just go home and crawl into bed. Too much for one day. Actually, too much for two days. I pulled out my phone and checked tomorrow's schedule. There was nothing planned. I would skip tonight in the studio and get to bed early so I could work on my song writing all day tomorrow. I settled into the car seat and closed my eyes. I didn't really feel like sleeping, but I felt this was a better alternative instead of a potentially awkward conversation with Seung Hyun. Still, I could hear the sound of my heart beat.