Chapter 15 - Act Like Nothings Wrong

I locked myself in the music room. I wanted to avoid Ji Yong and Seung Hyun. They would be recording all day, so I took the opportunity to work on my song. Everytime I wrote a line, I would think about the events over the past few days. Didn't I just arrive in Korea? How could all of this happen in such a short time?

I had been managing TOP and trying to write a song for six days and in that time I recieved two semi-confessions from Seung Hyun and Ji Yong. It takes most people years to find love and somehow I had managed to find it in less than a week.

Over the corse of the day I saw both Ji Yong and Seung Hyun pass by the room at different times. I could see their outlines through the slits in the blinds. Seung Hyun hesitated in front of the door. He raised his hand to knock, and then pulled it away. I played my guitar loudly to exorcise the urge to open the door. I needed to focus or else I would lose everything: my internship, my dreams, and the boys.

After hours of trial and error, I finished the song:

I am leaving
And I can't do anything
Love is leaving
Like a fool, I'm blankly standing here

I'm getting farther away
I'll become a small dot and disappear
Will this go away after time passes?
I remember the old times
I remember you

If you
If you
If you're struggling like I am
Can we make things a little easier?

How about you?
Are you fine?
Guess its all setting in
I should forget you but it's not easy

On days where the thin rain falls like today
Do you remember my shadow?
I put the memories in a secret drawer
And reminisce by myself

Why didn't I know how painful it would be
About the weight of the sadness of meeting you

Finally, it was complete. I translated it into Korean and cleaned up the sheet music. I grabbed my guitar and my notepad and released myself from my day long exile. The first thing I did was find Teddy. I went to his office, but it was empty. I had a bad feeling that I knew exactly where he was. I dragged my feet to the recording studio. I knew Bigbang would be there. I didn't want to face them, but I knew I had no choice.

Standing in front of the door, I took a few deep breaths. You can do this, I thought to myself, be professional. This is your future. I knocked on the door and waited. I could hear voices inside and it was obvious they were recording. Seungri opened the door.

"My American beauty!" he exclaimed and hugged me as I awkwardly stood there with my guitar and notebook. A part of me was relieved. I guess Ji Yong and Seung Hyun hadn't shared our issues with the other members.

"It's good to see you too, Seungri, but you're choking me!" I managed to choke out.

"Oh. Sorry." He smiled brightly.

"Is Teddy-sunbaenim here?" I asked.

"Right here, Ha Na!" Teddy was sitting at the control panel and he leaned back to wave me in. "What's up?"

Ji Yong was sitting in the corner and I saw his face light up when he saw me. I turned towards the recording booth and saw Seung Hyun. He took his headset off and was poised to come out of the booth and greet me. I tried to avoid both of their gazes and cleared my throat.

"I've finished your assignment." I said.

"Is that so? Then let's hear it." Teddy sat back in his chair.

I looked at all the faces in the room. "Now?"

Teddy raised an eyebrow. "Is now a bad time?"

"Um. No. Now is okay."

I perched on top of a stool near the recording table and got out my guitar. Seung Hyun stepped out of the booth and leaned against a wall near me. I cleared my throat, closed my eyes, tried to ignore everyone in the room, and began playing. When I finished the room was silent. I opened my eyes and everyone was staring at me. Seungri, Daesung and Taeyang all had approving smiles on their face. Ji Yong's eyes were wide open and his jaw was slack. I felt Seung Hyun's presence behind me but I was too afraid to turn around.

"Perfect, Ha Na," Teddy said, "Just perfect. I chose correctly. Hyun Suk will be very pleased."

"Hey, Teddy," Ji Yong stood up, "I want that song." I stared at Ji Yong in disbelief. I knew my song might be given to an artist eventually, but this song was personal. It was all my feelings about everything since I moved to Korea. Part of those feelings included Ji Yong. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hand the song over to him.

"I still have to run it by Hyun Suk, Ji Yong," Teddy reminded him.

"I know, but that song would be perfect for our album," Ji Yong turned to me, "Ha Na, would you give us that song? Please?"

"I-I don't..." I stammered.

"Seriously, it's really good. It would be an honor if you would let us have it."

What was I supposed to say? I was in front of the band and my boss. "I guess?"

I heard Seung Hyun walk out of the room. My heart sank. Seungri chased after him, "Hyung! Wasn't the song great?" He continued to ramble on until his voice trailed off down the hall.

Ji Yong walked up to me and took my hands in his. "Thank you, Ha Na. You won't regret this." He wore a smile from ear to ear. I returned his smile awkwardly, but inside I was torn.

"Alright, then," Teddy interrupted, "let's get back to work. Taeyang, go fetch Seung Hyun and Seungri. We're burning the midnight oil tonight."

I closed my notebook and put my guitar back in it's case. Teddy turned to me, "Ha Na, you exceeded my expectations. Finish off your interim management of Seung Hyun and then let's focus full time on your internship. Get some rest, you deserve it."

"Thank you, sunbae-nim." I bowed politely and left the room. I exhaled and put my hand over my chest the moment I was in the hallway. I'd secured a position as an intern and didn't have to worry about doing double jobs for the next week. At least one weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

I headed for the exit, dying to get home and just relax. Seung Hyun was waiting for me by the door.

"So how does it feel?" He asked.

"How does what feel?"

"Your first song...and Ji Yong wants it." His voice was laced with a sardonic tone.

I approached him, "Why are you upset? Honestly, I didn't want to just hand it over."

"But you did."

Why did I feel like I was on trial? "What was I supposed to do?"

He waved his hand and walked away. "Whatever."

"Seung Hyun, wait," I grabbed the cuff of his jacket and he turned around to face me. "Look, everything that happened over the past few days..."

"Meant nothing, right? I mean, Ji Yong wants your song and apparently he also wants you." He spat out the words at me.

"What?" I recoiled, hurt by his words.

He must have noticed the hurt on my face because he relaxed his tone and sighed, "Look, I can't even thing straight right now, Ha Na."

I stepped closer to him, grabbing his hand. "Can't we talk?"

"What is there to talk about?"

"Don't shut down on me, Seung Hyun."

He slowly removed his hand from my grasp. "I've got to get back to the studio."

"Will you call me when you're done?"

"We'll see." I watched his back as he walked to the elevators. My heart felt heavy. He was pulling away from me. And what was I going to do about Ji Yong? He made it clear that he wouldn't give up so easily. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place with the two of them. Add my career to the mix and it seemed like my life had become a ticking time bomb.

I left the building and stopped by a fried chicken restaurant on the way home. I grabbed a few beers from the corner store and headed up to my dorm. I peeked my head through the door, "I'm home!" I yelled hoping that Eun Ji would be there.

She was there.

And so was a guy.

And both of them were making out on the couch.

Eun Ji pushed him off of her and she jumped up quickly. "Oh my god, Ha Na!"

"Am I interrupting something?" I looked at the two of them.

"Yes...I mean, no. I mean, this is Min Joon." She blushed.

"Ahhh..." I tried to stifle a laugh. "Care to join us for chicken and beer, Min Joon?" I held up the bags. He looked at Eun Ji. "Sure...if it's okay with Eun Ji...and you?"

"Of course Eun Ji and I are okay with it!" I dropped the bags on the table and put my arm around Eun Ji. "Help me in the kitchen, will you, Eun Ji?" With my hand tight on her shoulder, I dragged her into our small kitchen not ten feet away.

"Can you warn me with a text if you're going to have company over?" I whispered at her.

"This wasn't planned! He just walked me home and then..."

"And then?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Well, you saw!" She practically bounced through the roof.

"Alright, let me meet this Min Joon of yours and see if I approve."

The distraction was welcome. We all sat together and ate. Min Joon turned out to be a pretty great guy from what I could tell, and he certainly had it bad for Eun Ji. As the night got deeper, the three of us drank more beer than we should have. Around 2 a.m. there was a knock on the door. I looked at Eun Ji. "I'm not expecting anyone," she said.

I got up and opened the door a crack. It was Ji Yong and he was holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Sure..." I opened the door all the way and he stepped in. Min Joon and Eun Ji shot up off the floor and bowed deeply to greet Ji Yong. "Would you like a beer? We have some left over chicken," Eun Ji offered.

"Thanks, but I just stopped by to talk to Ha Na," he replied. Eun Ji and Min Joon traded glances at eachother and I saw Eun Ji shrug. Whatever silent conversation they were having, I wasn't involved.

"Our dorm is pretty small, Ji Yong," I said, "Maybe we can talk outside?" He nodded and I followed him out to the stairwell.

"These are for you." He presented the colorful bouquet to me. I took them tentatively.

"They're beautiful, thank you."

"Look, about today..." he started.

I rolled my eyes, "Ji Yong, can we just forget about today and yesterday?"

"I was hoping you would say that!" His excitement seemed a little over the top given the situation.

"What?" I asked incredulously.

He took a step towards me, "Ha Na, I just want to start over."

I was stunned. "Start over? There's something to start over?"

"Well, perhaps we could just start something?"

I took a step back to regain the distance between us. "When I said forget about today and yesterday, I meant that figuratively, Ji Yong. I can't erase my memories."

"I know. Can I explain?"

I folded my arms across my chest, "Go ahead."

"Jennie Kim, the girl you saw me with, she's just a hoobae to me."

"It didn't seem like it at the time." I stared at the flowers.

"We're very close, but not like that. When she came to YG, I mentored her a bit. She's really talented."

I rolled my eyes, "Did you come here to tell me how talented she was?"

"Ah...no. I'm screwing this up, aren't I? She wanted to date me, but I didn't feel that way about her. That was over a year ago. When I saw her at the club that night..." he trailed off.

"Go on..." I prodded.

"I just wanted to say hi, that's all."

"I didn't realize you were so passionate with your hellos." Somehow I felt that there was more to the story than just that, but I didn't really feel like hearing it. I was exhausted.

"My relationship with her is complicated, but I swear to you there's nothing going on between us." He paused and stepped towards me. He gently took the flowers from my hands and set them on the railing. He raised his hand and tucked my hair behind my ear. His hand gently brushed against my cheek before resting upon my shoulder. "But I was serious when I said I like you." My heart began to sway again. "Will you let me like you, Ha Na?" I felt dizzy. He leaned in and I closed my eyes. I felt his lips brush against mine and then...the door opened and Min Joon and Eun Ji came out. Ji Yong pulled away quickly.

"Oh, God." Eun Ji gasped, "I am so sorry. I- We didn't see anything! Right, Min Joon?" She nudged the poor guy in the ribs. "Ah, yes," he said, "Nothing!"

"So, I'll see you tomorrow then, Min Joon?" Her eyes were wide and she was nodding her head emphatically. I small laugh escaped my lips.

"Yes, tomorrow. Bye then!" He waved awkwardly and practically flew down the steps.

"I'll just be inside, okay?" Eun Ji stepped back inside, then poked her head out the door again, "You guys just take your time!" Then the door closed again.

Ji Yong cleared his throat. "Well that was a mood killer."

"Yeah, I better get in before Eun Ji hyperventilates." I kicked at the ground awkwardly.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" He asked.

"We may bump into eachother, but I've got to take Seung Hyun to another photoshoot." Oh, . Seung Hyun. I'm guessing Ji Yong thought the same thing judging the expression on his face.

"Ha Na, I know there's something between you and Seung Hyun." I remained quiet. "I'm not asking you to choose. I'm not even asking you to like me. I am happy with liking you on my own, for now. I won't even be upset if you don't call me oppa anymore." He leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. "I'll wait until you're ready. Sleep well."

I watched him get into his car and drive away. I put my hand to my cheek where he kissed me and slowly turned around to see the blinds slap shut from where Eun Ji was spying on me. We both had a lot of explaining to do to eachother. I just hoped we weren't out of beer.