I'm confused. Just confused. I had like 100 different feelings in the last hour.
We're still kissing and I'm really enjoying it to be honest..
His lips are so soft and full. Am I dreaming?
He puts his hands around my face. He is very careful and gentle.
It is how I imagined it to be. I've never felt like this before.
My whole body is like a burning flame at the moment.
Does he feel the same?
He puts his hands around my waist and lifts me up so that I can sit on the wall.
He is standing between my legs. We haven't stopped kissing each other for a second yet.
I don't know how long we do this already but It feels like some time has passed. 
Suddenly, he stopped kissing me.
As I opened my eyes he was just looking at me.
,,W-what are we doing right now..?", I'm asking.
He just looks at me. He confuses me even more ugh.
He lets go of me and takes a few steps behind. ...Why?..
,,What are you up to?" 
,,I'm sorry Seul."
He goes back in the club. I'm still sitting on the wall. Alone.

I can't describe what I feel. I think I'm feeling nothing at the moment. I'm just confused.
Was that a dream? An illusion?
He was right here literally a few seconds ago. Like... what was that even??!
Some minutes later, (I actually don't know how much times has passed since he left me) I see someone walking in my direction. 
Is he coming back to me? Maybe he had to go to the toilet but he was too embarassed to tell me about it.
That is so cute!
,,Seulgi? What are you doing here alone?" , It's Irene.
,,Oh I needed fresh air, don't worry. Plus, I've such a headache!"
,,We want to go back home now. I was searching you everywhere."

The car ride was one of the most awkward situation ever.
He sat towards me and I was really trying to avoid looking at him.
I felt like he was starring at me but I guess that was just my imagination..
There was a moment I was weak and looked at him. He was already looking at me so our eyes met.
That moment felt like someone was putting a knife into my heart.

We're at out dorm now. I wanna sleep but I keep thinking about this night. 
He literally rejected me after we kissed.
I've never had a boyfriend, a break up or lovesickness but whatever this feeling is right now, it hurts.
I don't know his feelings towards me, which is bothering me the most. 
Does he hate me? Does he just like me as a friend? Does he think I'm attractive or doesn't he even care at all?
I have to ask him. I need to know that.
He has to give me an answer right? We need to clarify all this.