I wish I wouldn't feel that way but Jongin is kind of a stranger to me. 
If we still were friends I wouldn't feel like this, right?
The whole situation is awkward. Well, he is a stranger, I have a crush on? That sounds weird.
I just mean we are not best friends anymore. It's not like it used to be. 
We haven't even talked in ages. Like really talked. Not just that 'How are you' stuff.
We used to have deep talks for hours at like three am. But he changed and I changed.

"Seulgi? Hellooo?", Jongin waves with his hand in front of my face.
"Oh sorry, I was in thoughts."
"What were you thinking about? You were like on another planet.", he smiles.
The way he smiles is so heartwearming. His smile is always honest.
"Seul? What's going on? You look sad."
"Ah it's nothing. I'm just super tired."
"Do you wanna go to sleep? Sorry I'm bothering you. We should - ".
"No no no! You're not bothering me at all! I don't want to go to sleep yet."
The way he sits beside me is so cute. He looks at me all the time through the big mirror across of us.
Why is he looking at me all the time?!

One hour later rings a phone. We were talking for one hour.. wow.
We talked about the old times, the trainee times, our group members and of course about his dogs.
I'm kinda angry about this phone call. I like spending my time with him.
"Hello?" Jongin answers. "Oh uhm.. yea, like right now?" "Ok I can do that. See you."
"Who is this?" I'm asking.
"Uhm Seul, I have to go."
"To go? It's 11 pm. Where do you have to go?"
"Sorry I have no time left. Bye Seul ! "
And there he goes. What was that even? It was so sudden.
His behavious was strange. What if he has a girlfriend. Omg yes, that's it. 
Either he has a girlfriend or it's a girl he is dating right now. 
How could I be so dumb. I feel so empty right now.