"Junmyeon-ah..." Jungah whispered softly as she sipped her tea. The two were seated alone in the living room. It was still quite early so Jongin and Kyungsoo were still asleep and Amber was at university. 

"Yes?" Junmyeon averted his eyes away from the newspaper in his hands towards his wife.

"There's... something that's been bothering me..." 

"What is it?"

"Well... about Kyungsoo's father..." Jungah was quite nervous to bring it up because she knew her husband wasn't too keen on letting Kyungsoo live with them at first, but it took some convincing for him to finally agree. "He lost his eyesight when he was in his early forties, though he technically didn't have any injuries or accidents that resulted in it. It just kind of... happened."

Junmyeon was listening intently, curious as to what his wife was leading to. 

"It might be safe to assume that he just had weak eyes. But I was wondering... what if it's, you know, genetic? What if the same thing happens to Kyungsoo?" Jungah's eyes were filled with worry as Junmyeon sighed and joined her on the couch, circling an arm around her shoulders comfortingly.

"The poor kid has already been through so much. I-I can't let i-it happen..." Her voice cracked as a few tears escaped her eyes. 

"Hey... don't cry, jagiya... You know I hate it when you cry. Look, whatever you want, let's do it."

"Then let's take him to get his eyes checked... just... to make sure..."

"Okay. We'll take him first thing today when I get back from work."

"Thank you so much, jagi. You don't know how much this means to me..."

Junmyeon sighed, "I know exactly how much this means to you. I understand, and now that I think about it, I want this too. I'm sorry I disagreed in the beginning."

"I love you."

"I love you, too, jagiya."

* * *

"Sup." Jongin flopped down on Kyungsoo's bed without invitation, which the latter was much used to and didn't mind in the slightest. 

"Morning."

"You don't have homework today, right?"

"A bit..."

Jongin pouted, "But I reeeeeally want you to cook me breakfast again. I promise to help you with your homework later, okay?"

Kyungsoo sighed but found it hard to refuse when Jongin asked him like that. "Okay, sure."

"YES!" The taller boy jumped off the bed, threw his fist up in the air and started doing this ridiculous happy dance. Kyungsoo simply shook his head and smiled. 

And so Kyungsoo went ahead to make the younger boy a delicious breakfast. Kyungsoo's mother had taught him a lot about cooking, so he could basically cook with his eyes closed. Back in the day, he had everything mapped out. He knew precisely where the pans were, how to light up the stove and how long it would take to cook, all with his blindfold on. Years of experience, really. While it was weird cooking with his eyes open, it was definitely much easier and much more, well, visual? Jongin, however, seemed to take a huge liking to Kyungsoo's cooking and would always get ecstatic when the latter agreed to make him something. And when Jongin got so happy, Kyungsoo couldn't help but smile too, not because he was flattered (well, partly at least), but because he was genuinely happy to see the younger smile that big, beautiful, toothy smile of his. It gave him a warm feeling in his chest. 

As the two chatted happily after breakfast, Jungah went out to pick Amber up from college, not before giving the two boys a genuine smile. She was so happy to see her two sons getting along so well.

"So yeah, I'm just waiting around for now. I've applied for a few colleges but honestly, I just want a break from the whole education thing." 

"When do you plan on going to university though?" Kyungsoo asked, not really wanting Jongin to be out most of the time like Amber was because he really liked spending time with him.

"Ah. Probably in a few months. I left high school with flying colors so I can go wherever the hell I want, really. I'm kind of a genius." Jongin shrugged. 

"Wow..." The older said sadly, staring down at his hands. He wished he could have also gone to school like Jongin did. Maybe he would have gotten to know him sooner. Kyungsoo fought the bitter thoughts that began to invade his brain. The younger boy, however, seemed to notice his change in mood.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah I'm fine, I guess,"

"You can tell me what's wrong."

"It's just... it's nothing."

"Hyung, please stop evading. Don't just keep everything bottled up within you. I'm always here if you need to vent." Jongin had now gotten up from his seat and walked towards the older boy, taking his hand in his.

"I just wish I had a normal life... Like you, like Amber..." 

Jongin's eyes softened, "I know. I'm so sorry, I should stop talking about myself..."

"N-NO! I mean... I like hearing your stories. I just wish I had some of my own to tell you." 

Jongin then stared into Kyungsoo's eyes for a while, with a look of pure pity and sadness. Kyungsoo hated that look. 

"Tell me Jongin... Have you ever had a girlfriend before?" The older boy asked quickly to change the subject. Although, a small part of him was pretty curious. Jongin seemed a little taken aback by the sudden question but answered anyway.

"Well. I have dated a few girls in high school but nothing too serious. I mostly concentrated on my studies, really." Jongin sighed, taking a seat next to Kyungsoo. "Though I never found myself attracted to any of them. I just sort of went with it. I never really... fell in love."

Kyungsoo thought over what the younger said for a bit, "What is love?" He suddenly asked.

"Love?" Jongin chuckled, "That's a difficult question. It doesn't really have a definition. It's just something you feel and you just know it's there. I love my mom, for example."

"Does love really exist?" Kyungsoo was doubting it because he thought what he felt for his mom was love, but it all turned out to be fake. He didn't know what was real and what wasn't anymore.

"Absolutely." Jongin smiled. 

At that moment, the front door opened and Amber walked in, followed by her mother and father.

"Kyungie!" Amber ran toward him and gave him a huge hug. "Missed you, bro."

"Oh... uh... me too."

"My idiotic brother isn't doing anything stupid, is he?" Jongin rolled his eyes.

"No, we were just talking about... stuff."

"Well, don't forget the party tomorrow. I wanna set you up with one of my friends, you're SO gonna like her. Wear something nice." She winked.

"How about NOT." Jongin quickly said, a little too loudly, "I don't think Kyungsoo is ready for that kind of thing just yet."

"Oh shut up. He's 19, he's not a little kid. Right Kyungie?"

"Er... Right." Jongin, however, looked kinda ticked off. 

"No way I'm letting her set you up with one of her dumb friends." Jongin muttered, more to himself than to Kyungsoo.

"Hey Kyungsoo, honey, could I have a word with you?" Jungah cleared , "Alone?"

"Yeah, sure." Kyungsoo immediately got up and walked towards the older lady, all while being followed by curious eyes. The boy followed her into the kitchen where Junmyeon stood. Noticing that Amber and Jongin were oh-so-subtly trying to spy on them, Jungah closed the door.

"Listen, Kyungsoo." She started, "W-We want to get your eyes checked. Just as a precaution because... you know... about your father..."

Kyungsoo's eyes widened, "What do you mean? A-Am I going to become blind, too?" 

"No, no! Oh my God, Kyungsoo, no. We just want to make sure... I promise nothing's gonna happen. Trust me." Jungah put both her hands on Kyungsoo's shoulders. "We wouldn't want anything happening to you. You're part of the family now, after all. And we're not gonna let anything happen to you."

Kyungsoo tried his best to calm down but it was difficult. He didn't want this to end- not yet. He wanted to be able to see, for the rest of his life. He didn't want to go back to those days. Inwardly, he was panicking. 

"Promise?" He asked.

"Cross my heart." Jungah smiled, drawing an invisible 'X' on her chest.

"Now, I don't want Amber or Jongin knowing anything about this just yet. I don't want to worry them."

"O-Okay..."

"Alright, now go get dressed."

"R-Right now?" 

"Yes, the sooner the better. We shouldn't waste a minute."

"Alright." Kyungsoo nodded, swallowing nervously. 

He hoped and prayed and wished with all his heart that the same thing wouldn't happen to him. He didn't want to end up like his father. Being deprived of his eyesight for so long, he knew the value of it and he couldn't just let it go.. 

Not yet.

Please, not yet.

I... I don't want to be blind. Please, God, please. I'll do anything. 

But don't let me live in darkness again.

X X X