A/N: Sorry this took so long, I have not been too well these past few weeks. There's a virus that's been floating around because of the haze. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Warning:

Angst

Without Meaning to,

    he’s disarmed me,

    with kisses that soothe

    and alarm me.

In arms that terrify

  and calm me.

The Fear of Losing You; Lang Leav

~ ~ ~

** Song Empire (Seoul) Head Office; Seoul - Winter, 2015 **

Ji Hyo stood in front of her large window, watching as the first snow fell, dusting the trees and streets in a spatter of white. The past few weeks had been cold - colder than expected. Just like the way Gary was acting towards her. She didn’t blame him for avoiding her, no, if she were him, she’d avoid her too. Maybe it was her experiences of being abandoned that had made her live a life of self-fulfilling prophecy. First, it was her mother, then her father, followed by Jong Kook and then Min Soo. Now, she has successfully pushed the one person who she believed had loved her, to his breaking point. Why?

He would leave sooner or later, anyway, her conscience reasoned. A knock on her door snapped her out of her thoughts. She turned around as the door opened, revealing Go Eun. Go Eun walked up to her desk and placed a rather thick file on her table. Ji Hyo took a seat and mentioned Go Eun to do so as well. As she flipped through the stack of papers in the file, she sighed. “How many?” Ji Hyo asked.

“70%. Those are only the ones that have already pulled out of their investments. We’re still processing another 10, Sajang-nim.” Go Eun replied.

Ever since the news of the murder of a shareholder of Song Empire, Choi Min Soo, and the scandal of her name being involved in the case, most investors and shareholders of the company started to pull out their investments, unwilling to take the risk of going bankrupt once the stocks go down. Cowards, Ji Hyo silently cursed. She shut the file close and pushed it to Go Eun. “That’s alright. We still have 20%. We’ll survive.” Ji Hyo stated. Go Eun smiled. There were many things to admire about Song Ji Hyo. Here is a woman, beautiful and powerful, unafraid to face any challenges before her. Go Eun only wished more people could see that.

Ji Hyo glanced at her watch. “Aren’t you going home, yet, Go Eun-ah?” She asked.

Go Eun nodded, “Ah yeh. I was about to leave.”

“You should go, Inspector Ha must be waiting.”

Go Eun blushed. She didn’t know how to feel. How would anyone feel if they were in her situation? Her boyfriend is the police in charge of investigating the case that involves her boss and friend. Sometimes she felt like her life could be made into a makjang drama. Go Eun bowed to Ji Hyo as she took the file in her hand and headed for the door. Just as she reached the door, she turned, “Unnie,” she called out. Ji Hyo glanced up at her. “Everything is going to be fine. I’m not going anywhere. And I’m sure Gary-sshi won’t leave you too.”

Ji Hyo let out a small smile, the first one in weeks. “Gomawoyo, Byul-ah.”

Go Eun nodded and left the room. Ji Hyo stared at the closed door as her hand slowly reached down to her abdomen and paused. Mianhe, aegi-ah. Omma messed up.

**Gil’s Restaurant; Seoul - Winter, 2015 **

Gary, black-eyed, bruised lip, chugged down his fifth glass of beer and slammed it down on the table. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve and reached out to pour himself another glass. Kwang Soo stared at the older man worriedly. He glanced at Gil who was quietly observing Gary over the rim of his own glass of beer.

“Hyung, don’t you think we should stop Gary hyung now?” Kwang Soo asked.

Gil shook his head. “Let him be. Better he drink here than alone in God knows where.” He put down his glass and turned to Kwang Soo. “How is Ji Hyo doing?” Kwang Soo sighed, “The same. Although she refused to accept any form of help from anyone. The case is taking its toll on both her and her company. I don’t know how she’ll come out of this unscathed. What happened between them, hyung?”

Gil shrugged. “He won’t say.”

Two weeks ago, Gary had come to the studio, ashen-faced and unresponsive to anything Gil had asked. He had to cancel the recording session and once everyone had left, Gary finally broke down. Gil had known Gary since they were very young. They have been many through ups and downs, and this was the first time since he found out that Moon Chae Won had gotten married to their mutual friend, that he had cried so much. Knowing that he will not get any sort of response from the broken man, Gil just held him as he cried.

~ Two Weeks Ago ~

Ji Hyo stood frozen in her place. It felt like she had been slapped. His words cut through her like a knife cutting through butter; sharp and quick. And if it wasn’t for the blood pumping in her ear, she could have sworn time had stopped around them.

“When were you going to tell me?” Gary asked, his voice was soft, barely above a whisper. But his tone was firm; hurt and anger was evident in his question. “Were you ever going to tell me?” He looked up from his position; seated on the chair by her bed, bent forward, his forearms resting on his knees.

It had been a couple of weeks since Min Soo’s funeral. And almost a week since she found out she was pregnant.

“ANSWER ME!” Gary bellowed.

Ji Hyo jumped, startled at the loudness of his voice. Unconsciously, she took a half step back; her hand clenched into a tight fist to prevent it from shaking. Her eyes darted to the floor, unable to look at the man in front of her. Her vision blurred as tears formed and she blinked them back. She let out a soft gasp as Gary threw the pamphlets he was holding in his hand on to the small table in front of her.

“Is the thought of being married to me, that unappealing to you?” Gary asked again, his voice softer once more, quivering; guilt gnawing at him for raising his voice at her. He did not mean to, but he was getting impatient at her lack of response.

He had gotten a call for Ji Hyo from the clinic confirming a check up date. Thinking the worse, he inquired about it and as soon as he informed them he was her finance, he was told the check up was about her pregnancy. His excitement had quickly turned sour when the nurse relayed to him Ji Hyo’s consideration for an abortion. His intention was to talk to her calmly, but as soon as he saw the pamphlets on her desk, he lost it.

“Do you hate me that much?”

Ji Hyo snapped her head up and furiously shook her head, “Aniyo, oppa! Ani.” She dropped to her knees and crawled the short distance to Gary, her hands grasping his. “I could never hate you, oppa.”

“If the baby was Jong Kook hyung’s, you’d definitely keep it, right?”

Ji Hyo’s eyes widened. Gary scoffed and shook his head; pulling his hands out of Ji Hyo’s grip, and stood up and walked away from her, running a hand down his face in frustration. Ji Hyo stood and called out to him.

“I wanted to tell you, oppa.”

“About what? The baby, or you and Jong Kook hyung?”

“There is nothing going on with Jong Kook oppa and I. Not anymore!”

Gary swiveled around, his eyes sharp. “Then why! Why do you want to abort our baby!”

“Because I’m not ready to be a mother!” Ji Hyo finally burst out. The room turned eerily silent. The only sounds Gary could hear were his own blood pumping in his ears and the sobs from Ji Hyo. Life sure loves playing games with him.

“Mwuh rah goo?” Gary asked shakily, as soon as he had found his voice.

“I never wanted to get married in the first place, more less be a mother. Is that what you want to hear? Yes, I love Jong Kook oppa. Yes, I wanted to marry him. But no, even if this was his baby, I still won’t keep it. I am not a mother. I don’t want to be. I wanted to tell you.” Ji Hyo explained.

Gary shook his head. “No you weren’t. I received a call from the hospital. They had set a date for the abortion. So, you weren’t going to tell me at all.”

“I didn’t want to give you hope and have it dashed. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“But you already did, Ji Hyo-ah. You already did.” Gary replied softly and turned to leave. Ji Hyo rushed up to him and held his arm. “Forgive me, oppa. Forgive me for what I’m about to do,” she begged. “Let me go, Ji Hyo-ah. I need to think. The longer I stay here, the more my love for you diminishes. I beg you, do not make me hate you.” Gary said as he released himself from her grip and walked out the door, not once looking back. Ji Hyo slumped to the floor crying her heart out. She had lost him. The one person she had left, and she lost him. Mianhae, oppa. Jeongmal mianhaeyo.

~ ~ ~

“Would I make a good father, Hyung? Kwang Soo-ah?” Gary mumbled, his words slurring.

Gil and Kwang Soo turned to the man before them. Gary had his head in his arms that were folded on the table. They glanced at each other before turning back to Gary. “What did you say, hyung?” Kwang Soo asked. Gary lifted his head off the table and looked blurrily at the two men in front of him.

“Would I make a good father? Can you picture me as a father?” Gary repeated.

“I think you’d make a great father. Clumsy as hell, but a great one.” Gil honestly said.

“Right? I think so too. But why doesn’t she seem to think so? I mean why does she assume that it’s bad? It’s a gift! Right?” Gary continued.

“Hyu