I smiled bitterly at the sweet memory of my first encounter with Bang while a tear softly ran down my cheek. So much has changed after I met him. He has effaced the dark in me. Not only did I become a better person, but also my environment became brighter. He introduced me to some of his friends and said, “My friends are your friends.” His friends are just like him. Very inspiring people who live their life passionately. He convinced me to forgive my parents by saying that I should appreciate having parents while there are children on this planet who live alone. After all, I did have a memorable childhood. That time life wasn’t out of control yet… He kept giving me comfort. His smile gave me hope. Thanks to him I started believing that there might be a way out of hell. With that hope a sun rose and blinded the devil with its sunshine. The devil that’s been nourishing itself with love finally found a way out of my dire heart.

Now I felt like my heart is starting to feel heavy again. A familiar shadow returning to its original master.

The church bell rang and called me back to present.

That’s right, I promised Mr & Mrs Bang to join them for dinner afterwards. I adored his parents they’re the most loving people I have ever met. They always made sure that I had the best attendance whenever I went to Bang’s house even though they must be totally worn out from work. His parents started work early in the morning and returned late at night. But even with such a long working hour, all they could afford with that day’s wage was a simple meal for the whole family. They just wanted the best for their son. Such caring people… I could never disappoint them. I tried to recollect myself and took a deep breath, forcing myself not to think of anything that might make me break out in tears again. I slowly got up and wiped away the remaining tears from my cheek. I hope my appearance looks decent enough to go back to that small group of doleful people. With sluggish steps I gradually arrived at the restaurant where all the other people from the funeral were.

I halted shortly before entering the restaurant and tried to prepare myself mentally for the gloomy faces. I looked through the window and saw my parents sitting next to Mr & Mrs Bang who were surrounded by people that gathered to give them their condolences.

I observed Mrs Bang and noticed how she kept that gentle smile whenever people came and bowed to her. I can’t imagine how painful it must be for a mother to attend her own son’s funeral. No mother would ever expect to witness that one day. Every mother is only prepared of not being able to experience their child growing old and wizen. But they’re not fit for seeing their child die in their arms. Her heart must be crushed. Yet she’s still trying hard to avoid worrying anyone by calmly sitting on her chair and thanking them for attending the funeral of their son. I wish I was as strong as her…

Just when I was about to reluctantly press down the doorknob Mrs Bang spotted me through the window and smiled softly at me with weary eyes. As if to ask me if I was okay. Her eyes were filled with hurt. A shiver ran down my spine. I could literally feel her pain.

No… I’m not okay.

I released the doorknob and ran away. I’m sorry Mrs Bang, but I’m not as strong as you are. My emotions were eating me up. It was getting too overwhelming for me. I couldn’t stand this anymore. I passed by a kiosk and spontaneously decided to buy myself a pack of cigar. I needed something to calm down my soul. I opened the pack of cigarettes and desperately lit one. I hastily took a drag and let the poison fill my lungs. The familiar numbness engulfed me and let me sink into a feigned peace.

The devil has returned to its cave.

Hi everyone! :D

Sorry for the late update. ^.^" School started this week after a long summer vacation and we already had our first test. :'(

I probably will only be able to upload one (or two) chapter(s) per week from now on. Mostly on weekends I would say.

Like that I can focus on school during weekdays and on weekends I will continue with the story Dear Bang.

Let me know what you think of this story. :) <3