TRIGGER WARNING: Please do not read if affected by upsetting themes, graphic imagery, and heavy profanities. Continue at own risk.

Thank you.

Beep.

Seungcheol closed his eyes.

Beep.

This was all too unfair.

Beep.

It shouldn't of been like this.

Beep. Beep.

He should of been there faster.

It was all his fault.

He glanced up. The machine beeps were irregular just as the doctor had informed him they would be. He knew that was never a good sign. His heart raced in his chest as he prayed for another beep to sound. He waited.

And he waited.

The white hospital walls droning in on him, as if they could collapse at any given moment. The bed in front of him was still, it's occupant unmoving and affixed to the soft surface. As if he was already a lifeless corpse.

Beep.

He sighed in relief. The pinked haired boy in the bed eyebrows furrowed in his sleep as a slow tear slipped down his cheek. Seungcheol was quick to wipe it off. He was quick to hide it away. He was oh so quick to cover the pain that lay in front of his face. His hand pulled at the corners of Jihoon's frowning lips, forcing them into a slight smile.

He only wanted to look at Jihoon when he was happy.

Beep.

He didn't want to recognize the grimacing pain that was stinging him straight in the heart.

He glanced over the boys' body. He was normal if you dismissed the canvas he had created upon his own skin. The design was horrifying. The dark red color shone brightly upon his frail arm. It danced it's way over his tiny wrists; deep, down to the core of his existence. They had bled out his sorrows, his misery, and now what good did they do? The masterpiece created upon his arm showed the world who Jihoon was, what he went through, and how he had come to a point of giving up.

And Seungcheol despised that.

Beep.

Every scrape, every mark, every goddamn cut broke Seungcheol more and more. He was angry. He was furious. And he was confused. His friend was broken and he hadn't even known until he showered his pain onto his own beautiful skin.

Beep.

Seungcheol cried.

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The boys were in shock. Petrified to the core, they sat in silence gathered around Joshua's living room. It had been the closest walk from the hospital. The boys had to get away, not too far, but away.

Wonwoo was crying, Mingyu slowly patting him on the back; Jeonghan had a comforting arm around Joshua in an effort to calm each other; Seungkwan and Hansol sat hand in hand, both scared to the bone. They couldn't work up the nerve to inform Seokmin and Soonyoung yet. They couldn't work up the nerve to even accept it themselves.

No one knew how to react to the scene unfolding in front of their eyes. Seemingly destroying their lives. At one moment, everything was perfect. They were all happy.

Laughing.

Smiling.

Now they were hurt and scared. Their friend had attempted to commit suicide without a warning. Or maybe the warning signs were there? Had they all been too dense, too preoccupied with their own lives, to notice their friends pain? Were they all that selfish?

Silently, they prayed they weren't.

That in itself was one of the most selfish acts they could do.

"We need to inform his parents." Jeonghan finally said. "They need to know what happened." The others froze. How does someone bring up to another that their child is in the hospital? That the person they gave birth to tried to end his own life? No one should ever have to voice that. "I told the hospital we would do it to make it more personal."

At first they stayed silent. No one wanted to do it. No one wanted to bare that burden. Eventually however, Mingyu opened his phone. He had known Jihoon for the longest amount of time out of the group and felt like it would be best coming from him. He dialed the number silently, praying for the call to end quickly.

"Hello?" A woman's voice sounded over the line.

"Hi, Mrs. Lee," Mingyu said gloomily.

"Mingyu? What a pleasant surprise!" Mingyu grimaced at the cheeriness in her voice. "What can I do for you?"

"Actually, you may need to sit down." Mingyu murmured. His heart was already breaking all over again.

"Why? What's wrong?" Panic.

"Today, just a little bit ago, Jihoon-" Mingyu paused. The words were stuck in his throat. His body forbidding to tell.

"Jihoon? What about him?"

Mingyu was frozen. Everything around him seemed to stop. How badly he wanted to wake up from this nightmare. How much he wanted Jihoon to walk into Joshua's living room with a smile on his face.

"Why are you so down today?" He would say which would force Mingyu to make an "I'm actually pretty up 'cause I'm taller than you" joke making the other hit him. Then the pink haired boy would smile, softly apologizing under his breath and all would be well. The group would watch movies into the late night laughing and eating as much as they wanted because nothing matter as long as they were all together-

"Mingyu, put my son on the phone."

But that reality was unattainable now.

His tears began to fall all over again. "I'm so sorry." Patient, fear filled silence covered the other line. "He's in the hospital,"

"Why?" Her voice was stern, trying not to break.

"He tried," his tears overtook him again. "He tried to take his own life."

The phone fell.

The call disconnected.

Another world broken.

A quiet stillness filled the room again until Mingyu's phone started to ring fifteen minutes later. He answered it and immediately wished he hadn't.

"So the queer finally tried to end it?"

"Mr. Lee?"

"That ing little prick. He overreacted again."

Mingyu couldn't believe his ears. His anger bubbled, covering the sadness for a sheer moment. "What do you mean "he overreacted again", sir?" Mingyu asked sternly, the boys around him visibly tensing.

"He overreacted like he always does. He's an emotional wreck."

"He's your son."

The man began to laugh. "No. He wasn't my son the minute he said he was gay."

Mingyu disconnected the call.

<><><><><>

Disclaimer: This is not real life and all actions the characters do follow my made up plot line. Do not take this as a real event. If it offends you please do not comment, but message me privately. Thank you!

Check the blog post here!

_{Yep. I should stick to fluff.}

ON A HAPPIER NOTE!

There's so many of you adorable little muffins! All of your comments make me smile so much so thank you!!  Heads up, school just started back for me (yay, fun I know) so the updates will be slower.

It may seem like this story is going a roller coaster and it is. But I swear it's going in the right direction so hang on for the ride.

Please do have the most wonderful day~!!

((Feel free to PM me if you even need to talk. The theme in this chapter is very upsetting and I understand that deeply. My private messaging box is always open))