Chapter 3 – And With it Came Nightmares

            “Are you guys sure you don’t want to see him off,” a voice whispered amongst nine men.

            A man, near on the heavy side, decided to speak amongst the silence.  “He’s my best friend, I’ll be with him before he leaves,” he muttered, rubbing his hands together nervously.  “But in all honesty, I’m not sure if I can go see him off by myself.”

            “If we all see him off, Kyuhyun will know something is going on,” a rough voice explained.  “Though, I honestly don’t want to see him off.”

            There was silence, but everyone knew that they were all on similar sides of the coin.  “I can’t believe it’s actually come to this,” the usual authoritative voice said with a sigh. 

            “No one expected this Leeteuk,” the rough voice said, running his fingers through his hair. 

            “But how did it go this far Yesung,” Leeteuk asked, his eyes begging for answers he knew he would never get.  “I thought Kyuhyun was okay now.”

            “Just because he’s pretending to be okay doesn’t mean he’s okay deep down,” Yesung muttered.  “But he’s getting there so let’s just give him some more time without any reminders of the guy.  He could barely stand him during the super shows so let’s not push it.  I’m just hoping that the two years apart will do him some good.”

            “I agree with Yesung,” the maknae said, gently rubbing his knuckles over Yesung’s stressed back.  “We can’t have Kyuhyun reverting back.”

            Everyone nodded in agreement.  “Then we’ll say our good byes quietly,” Leeteuk concluded.  “But continue to keep Sungmin out.”

            Again, everyone nodded, but the silence and secrecy was stressing them out.  They had no problem during the first couple of weeks since Sungmin was away on vacation and Sungmin had been feeling too guilty.  But after that, day after day, a phone call came from him seeping of desperation and apologies.  However, Yesung had forbidden any sort of contact between the two.  He had just calmed Kyuhyun down after the whole incident and was not planning on letting him revert back.  When that didn’t work, Sungmin had come down in person to ask for forgiveness.  Each and every time, the members either slammed the door on his face or rushed him out of the building.  And luckily, each and every time, Kyuhyun had been out of the building for a schedule. 

            It got worse when Sungmin had tried to find out his schedule, but the manager quickly put a stop to it and quickly notified Yesung.  With that, Kyuhyun was never allowed to be outside alone.  Kyuhyun lived as a prisoner amongst his friends, but he never felt that way.  He truly felt loved, something he had been seeking ever since Sungmin had dropped him.  Therefore, he never thought about it for more than a second when his friends volunteered to go with him to the store or to the arcade.

            “Then let’s hope for the best,” Leeteuk whispered as the rest of the members dispersed themselves.

            A tall man watched as a figure walked slowly towards him.  The atmosphere was warm and the tall man simply drank it all in.  Their eyes met and the tall man was taken aback as the figure began to clear.  It was his lost lover and he was ecstatic.  “Sungmin,” the tall man whispered.  He ran towards the figure and hugged him tight.

            Sungmin stood still as he felt the other hold him, simply taking in the warmth.  “I-I’m so sorry Kyuhyun,” he whispered into the taller man’s ears.

            Neither said anymore but continued to bask in each other’s warmth.  It wasn’t until a couple of minutes later that they noticed that they were in a dark room.  Kyuhyun slowly pulled away, but didn’t let go of Sungmin’s hands.  They gazed into each other’s eyes and the younger smiled.  “Don’t leave me again,” he whispered, using his other hand to gently brush a strand of hair away from the elder’s face.

            Sungmin leaned into the gesture but could not stop the feeling deep down in his stomach.  He was also slightly confused as to why they were inside such a dark room.  “Kyuhyun,” he said, squeezing his hands tightly.  “Where are we?”

            The younger didn’t respond and continued to look at the other straight in the eyes with the same smile he had stuck on earlier.  Sungmin started to get worried and reached out to touch the other’s face.  His hand landed on his cheek and he gently caressed it with a smile on his face, his feelings earlier disappearing.  The silence continued until Kyuhyun finally decided to open his mouth.  “I love you,” he whispered. 

            Suddenly, Kyuhyun’s eyes darkened and he took a step back.  Sungmin’s feelings of confusion crept back as he attempted to step forward in order to reach the younger.  But he couldn’t move.  He quickly looked down to see if anything had been blocking him and found that his feet were chained to the floor.  “No, wait, Kyuhyun,” Sungmin said, struggling against the chains.  He looked back at the younger whose eyes were now filling up with tears.

            The younger shook his head and continued to slowly step back.  “No,” he whispered, hugging himself.  “I can’t do this.  You don’t love me anymore.”

            “Kyuhyun wait,” Sungmin repeated as the younger turned his back.  Kyuhyun slowly started to disappear as Sungmin desperately tugged on his chains.  “Kyuhyun!  Don’t leave me!  I still love you!”

            It was too late.  Kyuhyun had disappeared and everything went dark.

            Sungmin felt himself sit forward, his breathing heavy as tears and sweat started to flow down his cheeks simultaneously.  “Kyuhyun,” he whimpered, hugging himself.  “I’m sorry.  I’m so so sorry!”

            The door slammed open, letting in one of his best friends.  He quickly rushed to the man crying in bed and pulled him in tight.  “Calm down Sungmin,” he whispered, patting the man on his back.  “It was just a nightmare.”

            Sungmin tried his best to control his breathing, but he was struggling as new tears threatened to choke him up.  “S-S-Shindong,” he choked out.  “I-I can’t do this a-anymore!  I don’t love her!  I w-want to go back to him!”

            Shindong kept quiet as he continued to comfort the crying man.  “You know you can’t Min,” he whispered into his ears.  “It’ll get better.”

            He shook his head but he kept quiet.  He didn’t know what else to say, but he knew that Shindong was right.  He couldn’t go back to Kyuhyun anymore.  He was too late.  He had hurt the man too much.  But he couldn’t help but hope that perhaps there was still a small part of Kyuhyun that continued to love and care for him. 

            They had seen each other during the super shows, but everyone was adamant about the two coming into contact with each other if it wasn’t necessary.  Sungmin could only watch longingly during his performances and was not allowed to touch him for said fan services.  He watched as Kyuhyun smile and laugh with the others.  It warmed his heart knowing that Kyuhyun had gotten better.  Sadly, he knew that the younger man wasn’t completely well.  He could hear him scream during the night at the hotel they had been staying at.  He had come running at the sound at the first night and had attempted to break down the door.  However, he was pushed away by the other members just as quick as he had ran.  It continued for quite a while and it killed him each and every time knowing that he was the cause of it and that he had no right to make him feel any better.

            Then it was time to come back home to his supposedly loving wife before he had to leave for the military, which was tomorrow.  The other members had said their quick good byes, some warm and others neutral.  It was pretty nice and it made him feel better.  However, the good bye from Yesung was hostile and bitter.  He didn’t say anything more than a quick bye and a glare.  Sungmin couldn’t rebut, knowing that Yesung was the main person keeping his loved one safe.  He appreciated the man and could not be bothered to hate him back.  Shindong was nice enough to stay the night with him before his enlistment.  Looking at the clock, he knew he only had a couple of hours left with the man before his wife came back early in the morning to play her part.

            Shindong laid Sungmin back down and tucked him in.  He took a seat on the side of the bed as he watched the man slowly close his eyes.  “Let’s hope that this two year separation really is good for the both of you,” he whispered as he walked out the room.

            The man on the bed could only nod in agreement as he fell back to sleep, hoping that he wouldn’t have yet another nightmare about Kyuhyun.

            “Smile for the camera dear,” a woman said under her breath.  She gently nudged the man in uniform as he looked forward at the cameras taking their pictures.

            The man forced a smile, waiting for the woman to let go of him so he could escape.  Even if it was only for a little bit.  “Don’t get into too much trouble,” he said under his breath as he looked over to the woman in an attempt to seem ‘in love’.

            “Give me a kiss,” she whispered in the same volume.

            The man looked into her eyes and felt disgust.  How could he possibly do that?  He closed his eyes for a second in an attempt to control his feelings.  I wish this was Kyuhyun.  So he did.  When he opened his eyes, all he could do was imagine the younger brightly smiling at him.  His lips unknowingly turned into a smile and it took him all he had not to kiss the other man.  Sadly, he quickly came to remember that it was his ‘wife’ in front of him and not the younger.  He leaned forward and gently kissed the woman on the cheek before abruptly pulling back.

            The woman frowned but kept up her act.  No one could tell as they were both brilliant actors.  She quickly hugged him tight before pulling away and watching as the other man saluted the crowd and left for the gates.  She sighed and let her guard drop as she felt her heart clench inside her.  All of her hopes were dashed as she watched the man disappear in front of her.  She could only wish that she had a longer time with him.  She clasped her hands in front of her stomach and gently caressed it.  “Don’t worry sweetheart,” she whispered to the being in her stomach.  “Your dad will be here even if I’m not.”

            And with that, the two long years of enlistment began and the hearts of two men were slowly changing with the tide. 

            Or so they thought.

^^^^^^^^^^

A/N:  I’m sorry it took me a while to update.  I’ve been feeling off lately and I’ve been stuck in the middle of all of my chapters.  I could only write this since it’s full of angst.  As for ‘Til I Reach You’, the chapter is almost done.  However, I’m hugely disappointed in it and want to re-write it so that will take some while.  I’m so sorry.

Comments, subscribes, and upvotes will be heavily appreciated!  I hope you can take a couple of seconds to tell me how you found this chapter.  Thanks!

Kyumin moments should appear soon now :)