Kyu Jong's POV

"O-oppa,"she said finally, resting on her elbows from under me with her big, wide eyes piercing my heart and soul. Aniyo! Did I go too fast? Did I scare her already??

"N-ne?" unable to function any proper sentence structure at the moment.

She diverted her eyes from me, looked down at my position above her and said, "My leg's falling asleep." I didn't realize how long I was sitting on top of her, probably crushing her with my weight.

"Jagi, mianhe," I chuckled awkwardly as I leaped over and sat next to her on the floor, keeping my gaze down and away. I could feel the embarrassment burning and flushing my cheeks.

She sat up, flashing a charismatic smile that both frightened and excited me. When Hyun Joong hyung introduced us at his birthday party, I turned into a baby Young Saeng hyung, covering my mouth with both hands like a kindergartener with a crush on his teacher. This cute girl-- with her short hair and big round eyes (my ideal type)-- I was SURE she was gonna fall for one of the other members. 

Surprisingly out of all of them-- my brothers-- and out of all the men in the world, she chose me. She fell for me. This shy, quiet, insignificant Kim Kyu Jong, even after me being in the army for most of our relationship. It still made no sense to me to this day, but to say I'm not grateful for her and her love would be the greatest sin of them all.  This girl-- my first attempt after two, rather painful relationships in the past for me to even open up-- was here, staring patiently at me and only at me. 

Now that I think about it, she's always been patient with me. A lot of girls (mostly my exes) misunderstood my observance and pensive nature as dull and boring, but not her. It's like she knew behind my quiet nature was a thoughtful, dreaming soul, and only she could bring what was inside of me out, even with just one look-- a look that both terrified and exhilarated me at the same time. It was intriguing, longing and yearning, patient with a hint of passion in those dark brown eyes of hers. While I'm usually not the jealous type, even just the thought of her gaze onto someone else would make my blood boil... a thought that has dreadfully tormented me every night while I was alone at my station without her. Missing her has been agonizing for me... I can't imagine what it's been like for her.

I must've been sitting on the ground and thinking to myself for a LONG time, because by the time I clocked out of my own thoughts, she was almost done cleaning up the sea of popcorn she knocked over earlier. Kekeke ~pabo ya! Her clumsiness is her charm, her aegyo... though she'd probably slap me at the back of my head with a newspaper, if she ever heard put her and "aegyo" in the same sentence^^. I loved it though... Actually, I think I just really love HER. 

The way she's always been there for me, even though my line of work has always brought us physically apart, because of schedule and fear that the fans and the company will find out about us. Plus, the distance between us since I've been in the army hasn't been helping either. It's been hard enough keeping our relationship quiet for this long, with the exception of the members and Eun Ah, my darling yeo-dongsaeng. I couldn't hide anything from my baby sister, and as hard as it must've been for her to keep a secret from eomeoni and abeoji, she's been faithful. But making even my baby sister lie for me and jagi... the guilt has been taking its toll.

*Flashback*

"I'll be back on Monday morning, Eun Ah. I just want spend the rest of Christmas weekend with jagiya before reporting for duty again," I said with childish giddy all over my face.

I loaded up my suitcase into the storage area under the bus that would be taking me to Seoul, when I turned briefly to see my baby sister's face so downcast.

"Eun Ah, gwenchana? Did Kang Jun-ssi hurt you? Because if he did, Oppa doesn't mind getting discharged for protecting his dongsaeng?" I teased.

"Ya! Oppa, Kang Jun-i would never-- No, that's not it." Her face flushed at the thought of her boyfriend being under the wrath of her big brother. Nice guy though... I approved^^.

"Araso, araso," I laughed. "Mianhe... what's really bothering you sis?"

She bit her lip, trying to be cautious of her words. "At least, eomma and appa actually know about Kang Jun-i..."

A chord shattered in my heart. I knew where this was going.

"Eomma and appa already really like him, and are actually inviting him for our belated Christmas dinner. I know you're on duty, Oppa, but I still kind of wish you were there. Me, Kang Jun, appa, eomma, you and.... eonni." She blinked.

My heart sank. Not only was Eun Ah hurting because of our relationship, but I knew deep in my heart my jagiya was hurting too. I-- We wanted to tell my parents first, but the possibility of it getting back to the press and the unwanted press my family would get back home would be unbearable. My last two relationships didn't get serious enough to introduce them to Eomeoni and Abeoji, but even if they did, a thought of a scandal was always the issue.

"Don't worry about the fans, the paparazzi, or even what little antis that you have--" 

"Eun Ah..." I said, looking at her with glossy eyes. This girl... >_< Sometimes I wonder if we're actually twins.

"I like eonni, and I know appa and eomma will love her too. Oppa, you're always worried about what other people will say or judge of you, even before you became an idol. You're always taking care of me and of other people, so much that you forget to take care of yourself and be happy, just as much as you make everyone else happy."

My eyes widened. Since when was my baby sister so wise and insightful??

"Oppa, if you really dig down to the truth, there's really no one and nothing holding you back but yourself. Mianhe if I'm overstepping, but I can't keep seeing you and eonni like this. Tell her what you want, and tell her the truth, Oppa... sooner rather than later."

There was nothing I could say... all the conviction I felt suffocated me. My fists froze with my breath deadly cold... and it wasn't just because it was snowing at the bus depot. My head dipped, eyes shut, trying to hold back the pain and emotion that I've deeply suppressed after the past two years. I was done hiding, even though to my sister it was all in plain sight.

I got on the bus, sat in the back row before turning to look out the back window as the bus drove away. Eun Ah stood off the street, holding a page on her sketchbook in the air like a fangirl: "Kyu Jong oppa, FIGHTING!"

I couldn't help but smile. First reason being that my baby sister had grown up well, all while not losing her childish innocence (which, I'll be honest, I kind of envy her for), but also because I was finally facing the truth that my jagiya is more than just my girlfriend... she's my home.

Now came the moment of truth... I didn't want any distractions on my way to Seoul or even while I would be there with jagiya. I couldn't help but feel the sharp stab in my heart, as I knew some of my most dedicated PrettieSS would worry and most DEFINITELY will be heartbroken once they find out "uri Kim Kyu Jong" is off the market. But this had to happen. Eun Ah was right. My true fans would be understanding and even supportive that I would finally be happy and doing something for myself, as I have (and always will) throw my life down for my PrettieSS and ThanKYUs.

"ThanKYU... I'm sorry," I typed my last tweet as the final blow hit my heart. A few minutes later, @2kjdream was no more.

Just then, I got a text...

*Flashback ended*

Sitting in that living room, watching the girl I love cheerfully picking up the mess she made on the floor, all with the intention that she wanted me to sleep in more now that I was home... she doesn't even know that she IS my home. This was the agonizing truth of it all --the sleepless nights, deactivating my Twitter account, requesting the holiday off long enough to travel all the way back to Seoul just to be here with her. Home was what I wanted. She is all I wanted, and for everyone to know that we were more, and that I actually WANT us to be more. 

Despite my pure, wholesome, innocent personality, at the end of the day I'm still just a man. I've bottled up all my emotions, feelings and true longings for so long, fearing the worst that jagiya would leave me once she found out I wasn't talkative or outgoing or entertaining enough that she'd fall for the other members or worse... another guy. But she didn't. 

She wasn't like the others. She was here. Here, when long schedules kept me away until 3am everyday on average. Here, when on my off days, all I wanted to do was stay home for a date. Here, when I found out I carried Hep B, and even more so when I found out that that fact wouldn't exempt me from the military after our 300 day anniversary. Here, even though I wasn't, but she always made it seem like I never left in the first place. She really is my home, and even more so, she is the one... It's about time I tell her, and eventually the whole world, that she is.

A/N: This chapter is in Kyu Jong's perspective^^ I edited this A LOT more than what the original post had, because I really wanted to dig deep into Kyu's psyche... what was really going on in that pensive and observant head of his and why he left Twitter at the time (at least, why I thought he left, in relation to this story). Remember it's just a fanfic, and that I don't know what Kim Kyu Jong is, was or will be thinking in the time setting of this story :)