“Hello, Angel. Are you okay?”

“Hi. Yes, I’m okay…”

It was another non eventful Friday night as I answered the three or four questions I usually got on my ask.fm from probably the same three or four people. Usually a question about Exo—like thoughts on D.O.’s acting or spazzing about Lay's latest Go!Fighting episode. One anon maintained a running conversation with me about Exo, but ever since they ended their promotion cycle for Love Me Right, there was not much to talk about anymore. The other questions were either really random or about my personal life, which I wasn’t so keen on divulging. I was convinced one of them was my parents—as they seemed overly concerned with my life as of late. 

But who could blame them? I wasn’t a particularly upbeat child, but I was known to be relatively optimistic and sweet. If you asked my parents, they'd probably tell you I'm an angel—just like my nickname, Angel. Others would probably describe me as a smart and studious girl, but the truth is—I haven’t been feeling quite like myself lately. Ever since I finished my junior year in university and moved out of the dorm and into an apartment nearby, I can't help but feel isolated and homesick. Not only that, but the few friends I do have either went to different universities or lived on campus. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes~ don’t worry I’m getting by :)”

Although I was very grateful for the concern, I get somewhat annoyed by these questions asking if I'm okay. But of course, I wouldn’t say it outloud since it was probably going to be the only social interaction I'm getting tonight. And, as much as I didn’t want to admit it—having someone show their concern was kind of comforting.

“Ok, if you insist. I wrote you a poem…will you read it?”

“Don’t worry about me :) you’re so sweet! I can’t wait to read it”

Even when I'm feeling down, I absolutely refuse to show it to anyone. It was something I have always specifically reserved for myself. I'm one of those people that has a very strong sense of tolerance and an even stronger sense of pride. The way I see it, is no matter how down I am, whatever problems I could be having, couldn’t be worse than anybody else’s.

After putting another load of laundry in the washer, I laid flat on the coach staring up at the ceiling with no actual thoughts whirling around in my head. Right when I was dozing off, my phone went off, it was the ask.fm app. 

“Roses are red,

violets are blue,

I really love….”

As I held the screen up to my face, I was puzzled at the “poem” from this anonymous user. I didn’t put much thought into my reply, because I was pretty confused about this person’s intentions.

"Um lol is that all?”

Another question came almost instantly.

“I’m sorry, I’ve seem to have forgotten my poem. Please forgive me for I have the worst memory”

I read the question a few times wondering why this person spoke the way they did. Who is this and why are they so concerned with me? I wanted to ask but I decided against it since that’s what anonymity is after all. Nonetheless, this anon has got my attention. 

“Haha, that’s ok! It was a nice attempt I guess lol”

I waited 10 minutes for another question from this anon, but none came—so I got up to finish my laundry and started making a late night snack when I began to feel tired all of a sudden. It must’ve been close to 2am, I was sure of it, but when the clock was only at 10pm! Time really does move slowly when you’re bored… when you’re alone. The emptiness I've been feeling came flooding back and I got lost in meaningless thought. I couldn’t exactly cry, be angry, or be sad… all there was, was emptiness. Nothing. It was one of those moments of deafening silence and wanted to scream waiting for something to break the silent noise. I stood in front of the fridge staring at nothing in particular when my phone lit up at the corner of my eye.

“My Angel, you aren’t ok. I just know it—and I have failed at every attempt to prevent this. Please allow me to worry for you, please allow me to quell the uneasiness that boils inside of you. I- I just want you… need you to be ok.”

The sudden confession confused me. Is this real? Is this a joke? my angel…MY angel?