While completing my usual night time routine of brushing my teeth, washing my face, crawling into bed to play Superstar SM or watch an Exo video I've probably already watched three or four times by now, it was hard to stay focused. This was really bugging me and I couldn't understand why. Ask.fm and anon conversations weren't meant to be anything more than just subtle entertainment—a distraction from my not so eventful life. It wasn't supposed to become more than what it was...

[A few hours ago...]

“My angel, you aren’t ok. I just know it—and I have failed at every attempt to prevent this. Please allow me to worry for you, please allow me to quell the uneasiness that boils inside of you. I... I just want you… need you to be ok”

I re-read the message over and over again, every single word, line by line. Thoughts raced through my head at record speeds when I finally came to the conclusion that this was, 100% without a doubt—my mom. I loved my mom, but I just cannot stand how involved she tries to be despite being a twenty something year old adult, no longer living at home. Out of the very few things I'd consider achievements, moving out of the dorms and into my own apartment was definitely one of them. It really irritated me that she couldn't, at the very least, trust that I'd be okay by myself. Although she was probably right... since it was pretty obvious that I just haven't been quite myself.

Even though I was sure it was my overly protective mother, I decided to answer the question as if it wasn't. Afterall, my parents are probably asleep and aren't all that tech savvy to begin with.

"Omg... I don't know what to say! That's really sweet of you, but trust me~ I'm totally fine^^ I'm sorry that I made you worry... I probably sound tired or something right?"

I hid behind smiley faces and squiggly lines knowing that it was merely a ploy to make it seem like I was still as upbeat and lively as possible. A part of of me wanted to open up to this user and I wasn't sure why. Many of the anons I usually get ask about where I live or go to school or details about my last relationship—something I'd like to erase from memory completely. 

"Please don't ever apologize. It is me who has wronged you. You may not want to admit it to me or anyone else, but you are not the one to blame in all of this, for it is me who is at fault. I have failed you. Please forgive me."

 

My eyebrows furrowed as I read through the message. This normally would've freaked me out by now... but it didn't. It felt real and sincere. I couldn't understand why but it just did. A sense of guilt began to build inside of me and I needed to know who it is.

"I... really don't know what to say. But... you didn't do anything wrong either, so why are you apologizing? Do I know who you are?"

"Yes, I have. This is all wrong. This is forbidden. I suppose I have no control when it comes to you,—but I can no longer sit idle seeing you like this. Seeing you in pain, sadness, emptiness... that is my fault as well. This is all my fault... please, my angel, forgive me."

It starts to rain outside. I wrapped myself in a thin blanket and sat in a chair near the window. Rain usually calms me down because my heart began racing and emotions started to rise. I didn't reply right away, in fact, I had no intention of replying. Not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't know what to say. The guilt was building up so rapidly and the tears started to warm my eyes when another message arrived.

"Please do not cry. Do not shed a tear on my account. Your tears are precious and at this rate, I am unworthy of such an event."

It should've scared me—I would've been terrified, but I wasn't. It didn't even feel like I was reading a message from an anon. One thing was for sure, this person knew me. Urgency washed over me; there was so many questions running through my mind and I needed to know. 

"But who is this? What is forbidden? I don't see how any of this is your fault... you really don't have to worry or apologize"

I stared at the screen waiting for a reply but it never came.

[Present time...]

As much as I loved watching Exo's Showtime, it couldn't distract me from my current thoughts. I put my phone down and stared at the ceiling fan oscilating above me. It was still raining outside, but it didn't help much because the winds picked up and every now and then a flash of light would light up the room followed by a booming clap of thunder. And just like the lightning outside my window, the anons' words resonated in my head... forbidden... unworthy... angel. I asked myself the same questions I probably asked myself hundreds of times since the last message—who was this person? Why are they so concerned? And most importantly... what do they mean by seeing me like that? My phone lit up.

"Please my sweet angel... please do not make me reveal my identity. You do know me, but that is forbidden... we are forbidden. However, because of my vow to protect you, to nuture you and to heal you of your pain, to subdue the anxiety that impedes your slumber, I can tell you that I am a guardian and you are my angel. Sleep well now." 

And my eyes slowly shut and did just that....

A/N: Hehe I hope you're not too tired of the guessing game! I think I have enough clues on who is messaging you, but don't worry...you'll find out soon! Also, in case anyone is wondering if this sounds a little familiar—this is an adaptation on a RP I did on tumblr last year. Thanks for reading~ Goodnight!