"I had nothing, because I was scared, but when I met him my life changed"

Entry04

I didn't think that jumping off that swing would really change anything, but it did. 

I looked up to my ceiling that next day and held my breath. I told myself that if I could hold my breath for at least fifty seconds, that today would be a good day. I tried to stay optimistic since last night and I think it worked. Not only was I able to hold my breath for fifty seconds but for a whole minute. Damn that sounds crazy, but I did it. I could already feel my day heading towards a good day. 

I know it sounds weird to suddenly be a more happier person, but I truly was happy.

When I got to work, instead of hiding my face from my coworkers, I held my head high, with a smile. I could see the odd stares they were giving me, but I didn't care one bit. I wanted them to see that I changed, that I can be a better person.

When I walked into the changing room I was met by a shirtless Jungkook. I turned away a little embarrassed, but I knew Jungkook didn't mind. I shook off my embarrassment because there was something I really needed to tell Jungkook and him being shirtless was not going to get in the way. Although now that I think of it, I could of let him finish changing and then told him latter, but I didn't.

I coughed, clearing my throat, "Jungkook, Thank you,'' I was really thank full to Jungkook, there were so many words I could say to him, but all I said was that I was thank full. Which to me held a lot more meaning than just those two words. 

Jungkook finished putting on his shirt and then walked over to me, "You feel better," he says.

I did, I truly did feel better and happier. I looked to Jungkook and smiled, "and happier to," I said. I wanted to tell him more, I wanted to tell him I was able to hold my breath for a whole minute this morning, that I truly think i'm overcoming my weaknesses, but I just couldn't. Its not easy to just change over night, but I do know that slowly I will become more strong. I believe in myself.

"Thats good," Jungkook says walking out of the changing room, myself following.  He walked over to the counter to fix some things up, while I did the same. He looked around and noticed that our co-workers were still staring at me, then he turned to me, then back to the coworkers, "Do you have something to say to Taehyung?" he said as all the coworkers turn away a little embarrassed.

I turned to Jungkook and smiled. I was about to thank him, but he quickly walked away.

Something seemed wrong. He didn't seem like his regular self.

~

When Work had ended I knew I needed to do something.  I couldn't just not say anything and let Jungkook go home like that. I knew that I would regret it if I didn't take that chance. 

I waited outside the changing room for Jungkook. I had just finished changing before him, and he was the last. We usually were always the last ones, but I know that I didn't mind. I was never in a hurry to get home like my co-workers. I had nothing at home waiting for me, I already have enough relaxing time as it is, I was never tired when I got home. Thats why I don't mind taking my time after work. Now that Jungkook was here, I felt more at ease. 

A few moments later Jungkook exited the changing room. He looked over to me and gave me a slight smile, "You could've left," he said walking past me.

"I wanted to ask you something," I said following him.

"What is it," he said signing himself out. 

"Are you okay?" I said. I should of asked more, but thats all I could say.

Jungkook kinda rolled his eyes at me and started to walk away, "Taehyung, Nothings wrong, why should you care?" he said.

Those words hurt. I thought we were getting closer, but whats it to me, I can't even consider anyone a friend because of... I shut my eyes tight, I can't keep having things from my past holding me back. 

Jungkook walked over to the front entrance and opened the door. 

"Jungkook!" I started to say, "But aren't we friends?" I said with all my courage. The word 'friend' being told to someone, I never thought I would use that word ever again.

Jungkook stopped in place. I could tell he remembered what I had said before about the word 'friend'. He was surprised, and I could see a glimpse of happiness in his eyes. 

Jungkook turned around and walked strait over to me bringing me into a hug. I was so surprised that I didn't know how to react other than stand there with my arms to the side, not moving. 

Jungkook let go and looked to me, "I'm sorry for what I said. You are my friend and you do deserve to know whats happening," he said smiling.

"Last night, a friend of mine got into a really bad fight, so I had to go to him and help him. I was frustrated with him and told him he needed to stop what he was doing. He got really mad at me and said that we shouldn't be friends anymore. That he could survive without me. I've been trying to fix our relationship, but he's been ignoring me all day" Jungkook explained to me.

I took in a deep breath, "Try calling him again right now," I said. It was the worst advice i've ever given, but it was all I could think of. If his friend didn't answer I wouldn't know how to help, and then I would feel bad for Jungkook telling me in the first place.

Jungkook nodded and took out his phone. He dialed his friends number and then we waited. 

"Hello?" Jungkook said.

Man was I lucky .

-V

Welp here it is,and sorry for the wait.