Entry03

"Taehyung, do you wanna hang out today?"

Did I hear correctly is what I first thought, but then I went into panic mode. It wasn't like I didn't want to hang out with him, and I wasn't busy or anything. I just couldn't get myself to speak. I felt as though if I didn't reply soon he would of taken the proposal back.

I knew what I had to do. If I wanted to change, then... I had to be brave. I had to say Yes. 

I looked around the work place nervously before replying, then looked to the ground kinda covering my face. I'm sure by now Jungkook must of noticed something was up.  At the corner of my eye I could see Jungkook's feet, they were still facing me, then suddenly he started to move towards me. I quickly looked up to him, and I could feel myself tense up.

Jungkook stopped, then looked me in the eyes, "You don't have to say yes," he said.

Thats when it hit me. No I had to say yes, if I didn't I might never get another chance like this. I my lips and slid one of my feet back and fourth, then I looked strait to Jungkook, "No, Yeah..lets hang out," I honestly had nothing to lose at this point. 

Jungkook smiled, and walked over patting me on the shoulder, "Thats great!" he said then immediately went back to work.

To be honest I didn't really know how to react. I was kinda confused, but I felt...happy. I actually wanted the work day to go by faster. I was happy, but also scared. Maybe this whole day would end in flames.

~
 

"You ready," Jungkook said exiting the changing rooms. 

I quietly nodded as I watched Jungkook walk over to the sign out sheet for work. I started to walk over to sign myself out but I was stopped. Jungkook placed his arm across my chest stopping me from moving any closer.

Before he said anything he turned to look at me, then said, "Taehyung, I got you." Once he finished signing us out he pulled out his phone.

I glanced over and noticed he had gotten a text. I saw the words 'When are you getting here'. , was he taking me with him to meet a friend. I started to panic. I began pacing around, and scratching my head. I wasn't prepared for this, I can't do this anymore.

"Taehyung, calm down. Its fine, we don't need to do anything big, just simple," Jungkook said, as he placed his phone back into his pocket. 

I would say he knew me to well, but I was obviously being to obvious about my current state. I tried calming myself as we left the building of our job, but I couldn't. Calming myself never worked no matter how hard I tried. Jeez if I try to hard, then I end up looking like an idiot anyway. 

I looked to Jungkook, and he had his phone out again. I could tell he was was frustrated cause of how hard he was pressing down on the keys as he was typing. Must of got into an argument with someone.

Jungkook looked to me as he shoved his phone into his pocket, "Sorry about that. I was just canceling some plans with someone," he said.

Did he just cancel that 'when are you getting here' guy, for me? "You know.." I started to say looking to the ground, "You didn't have to do that. We could've hung out another day," I said feeling bad. 

Jungkook shook his head, "Nah. I didn't think I would have another chance to ask you," he said almost sounding shy. 

"Oh," was all I said. I wasn't quiet sure what he meant by that, but i'm sure glad he did ask me. 

"Let me ask you something," Jungkook began, waiting for me to give him some sort of gesture for him to continue. I nodded. "Why do our co-workers always treat you like that?" he said.

I coughed. How do I answer this. What did he want me to say to be honest? Because i'm to scared to, to talk to them myself. That i'm just a loser and a loner? I scratched my forehead, "Can't you tell...i'm different from them,"

Jungkook bit his lip and shook his head, "You are no different than me, than them?" he said not understanding what I meant.

"I just don't get along with them. someone like me, someone who doesn't have a voice, soon enough gets buried. I've buried myself deep with them because I don't speak for myself," its all I could think of. This cheesy way of explaining was all I could think of.

Jungkook nodded trying to understand my gibberish. But I felt like he already understood me.

"well you don't have to worry with  me, i'm not like them. I'll be your friend," Jungkook said.

Friend the word friend no longer had its same meaning since that awful day. I've never had or considered anyone my friend since then, and I don't see that changing. "Were not going to be friends," I started to say walking a little faster, "I wont ever consider anyone my friend...I mean how could I trust anyone when all they do is stab you in the back!" I finished as I started running away from Jungkook.

I ran, I ran for what felt like forever. I stopped at a playground because I was officially out of breath. I walked over to the swings and sat down. I had wondered if Jungkook ran after me, or maybe he finally found out I wasn't worth trying for, wasn't worth anything. But I felt like If Jungkook  would walk up right next to me at any moment I wouldn't know what to trust anymore.

"I finally found you," I herd a tired voice say from behind.

I couldn't believe it. I turned around to see Jungkook.

"Hey, we planned to hang out today, not run miles," Jungkook says jokingly.

"Sorry," I said looking to the ground feeling bad.

Jungkook looked really sweaty and tired. He sat down on the swing next to me, "Look now I don't exactly know what happened in the past, and I don't plan on bugging you about it, but I think its time for you to let go of the past and start anew," Jungkook said looking me in the eyes. "I probably have no right to say this to you, but I'd rather see you happy," he ended.

Jungkook was right, I needed to get over the past. My past has been holding my life down.

"I can tell, you are never happy and always seem down. Thats why I had asked you to hang out today. I thought something might of happened recently to make you stressed, but it seems to be alot more than that. It really does hurt me to think you've been living this way for 'Who knows how long',So I have an idea," Jungkook said standing up.

I honestly couldn't say anything, I was just glad that someone had finally found me.

"Do you wanna let go of your past? Do you wanna start anew...with me?" Jungkook said hesitating at the end, "I'll be here for you" he said.

Yes, I really did want to start over. I looked to Jungkook and nodded.

"Okay, so you stay on the swing and i'll push you," he started saying, then walked behind me, "I'm going to keep pushing until you are swinging pretty high, okay?" he said.

"Okay," I said as I started to swing.

It felt so nice, the air on my face as I was swinging. The feeling of someone here with me. It all felt so right, like i've missed out on something my whole life.

"Okay Taehyung! This is your way out. When you jump off this swing you will be jumping into your new life leaving you old life behind, okay?" Jungkook said.

It made so much sense and now I was able to start over. 

- V

 I don't know how I feel about this story anymore. I think i'll be cutting it short. Please excuse any mistakes and enjoy!