The car continued to drive for another half an hour before I finally had a chance to see our house. It’s been located at the suburbs of Busan (as if Busan wasn’t suburban enough).  The place was still the same as I remembered last seeing it. I mean, the trees and bushes were still there. It was cut as if to make it look the same through the years. Well, not that I’m complaining. This place is really refreshing considering that I have stayed in Seoul for so long. There are no such trees in our dorms. Yes, there are plants but that natural growing trees give of that relaxing feeling.

I paid the driver, thanked him and went down the car. I took in a deep breath. I really missed the fresh air here. My lungs feel like it’s being rejuvenated by the cool breeze of spring. The darkness has already taken its toll on the province and all lights inside the house was . I wonder if everyone’s already home.

As if she can read my thoughts, I heard Mom call my name as she came out of the house. I broke into a wide grin as I started my way towards her waiting arms. I haven't seen my mother in years! They have posted pictures online, of course, but it feels so different when you see them again in person. I have never been so happy and excited to see them. Never in my life have I realized how happy and thankful I am that I have this woman in front of me as my mother. Oh, how I wished ANJELL was here so that I can introduce them to her - how I wish I could introduce MiNam to my family.

Mom embraced me as soon as I got near her. I felt hot tears on my shoulder - mom was crying. I tried my best to keep the tears in my eyes. I can’t really cry in front of her, can I? I mean, if someone’s crying, isn’t it just right to silently be there and not cry with them?

"I am so proud of you." She sobbed. After long years of not meeting each other, the first words she tells me are those. I cannot help but feel a sudden happiness creep inside my chest. My grin grew wider (if it was even possible). After a few more seconds, she stopped herself then smiled at me. "Have you eaten already? A...and where's your girlfriend?" She looked around, presumably looking for Minam.

MiNam left me. She had left my heart which I know she could never accept. "MiNyu had to attend an important appointment. She told me to say sorry she couldn't come. " I lied. I have been getting better with these things, I noticed. My mom looked at me apologetically but decided to push any further. “Let’s come inside.” She pat my back and started her way inside the house with me following behind.

I heaved a sigh as I stopped a few steps away from the front door. Not all memories from this place are great, anyway. There are experiences from before that I’d rather not remember. But coming to my ancestral house would just be revisiting everything. And by everything means it includes even the worst nightmares that I have experienced before. But I have already come a long way. Maybe I would just have to try and live with everything that has happened to me.

Taking another deep breath, I entered the humble house I have called home. My childhood house hadn't changed… at all. The walls were still painted pale yellow and family pictures are still hung up on it. But I noticed something different. It's a very small detail but it is something new, very noticeable. It’s something that mom wouldn't do without real importance... A new picture was hung at the end of the hall. I stared at it and couldn't recognize the face. It’s not like my family to be really accepting just anyone into this clan. So who is -?

"She's MinWoo's daughter." Mom cut through my thoughts. "Your Hyung had a child with MiKa a year after you left for Seoul." She said casually and continued talking beside me.

And just like that, everything was ruined. I couldn’t understand a word my mother was saying. The excitement that I was feeling earlier had instantly deflated and was replaced by a feeling I couldn’t even point out. Disappointment? Sadness? I don’t know. But one thing’s for sure. It’s a down, sinking, drowning feeling that makes you just want to sit down and stare at nothingness. Yes, that feeling. Whatever you want to call that sentiment, it’s what I’m feeling right now.

I continued to stare blankly at the photo. I can’t see anything, to be honest. My mind was just blank. I couldn’t even speak. I couldn’t even think of what to do. My body felt so numb that I felt like I was falling into an endless dark pit. Everything seemed to swirl around me. What should I do? How should I react to all of this? Is this really happening?

Questions started filling my mind, drowning me with all the thoughts that I have been avoiding for the past years. Did Mika really leave me for someone else? Did I really do something wrong? What have I done to deserve this? If I ran after her that day, would things still turn out this way? Did my brother really take my girlfriend away from me? Did he really marry the girl of my dreams? Did he hog the girl who has stolen my heart? Did he cause all this chaos? All this pain? I didn’t want to blame him. I never did. Not until now that I have heard the news. I don’t know how I would be facing him. I don’t know if I could even look at him the same way I did. He can’t be really doing this to me, right?