Weak to pleasure, attention , that you have always been in my eyes. And I still loved you unconditionally. 

I know, I made our relationship rot, but it was my way of pursuing love.

So why are you pushing me away now? 

God hates me, but I love you.

You are the only worth thing, I bet everyone lives just to see you smile and I selfishly find myself wishing you would smile only for me.

It is possible, that God hates me because I never believed in his existence, nor did I pray for my wishes to be fulfilled by him, because I simply knew, that I was good enough to reach my dreams myself. And I did, I never needed help from God.

And now, there you are, you look even more tired than usually, like a walking shadow of what you used to be. I want to make you okay again, though I know it is probably my fault, that you are like this. You are avoiding me like a plague, but I know that deep down you are just afraid, terrified, what if your feelings are not mutual? 

I am trully sorry, that I cannot fully express my feelings through words. 

Your soft confessions used to linger in the air and I enjoyed their presence, not bothering to answer.

Is that what set you to be like this?