I GOT 228 SUBSCRIBERS? WOOOO, I'M AMAZED, thank you so much for reading this story ^^ Also for the vote ups and comments, I love comments and still don't quite understand vote up thingie but well, it shouldn't be bad, right? :D :D (stupid author ramble, sorry)

Have I ever mentioned how damn amazing Lee Chaerin is? 

Whole chapter is written while listening to her songs. I adore the woman. Makes me go lesbian. 

Also, I'm honestly sorry for the fast development. It's just kind of like, my way of writing? This chapter may cotain a little too fast development but I won't change it.

After he told everything to his hyung, nothing could stop him from breaking in front of his tired friend using the older’s good heart and will to explain things to mankae. TOP hyung let him say everything he’d buried deep inside his heart hoping that people would find out. It didn’t seem like his words surprised the older male.

It looked like he knew something, but not everything.

When Seungri broke down in tears, his hyung just patted his back comfortingly and slowly explained where the younger was wrong.

“You know, you don’t act like this when you’re with us, Ri. To us it looks like we’re troubling when we dig too much. I think we probably overestimated your self-confidence. You’ve been forcing yourself, haven’t you? Why did you never talk to us about it?”

“But I told you, hyung. I couldn’t. My stupid pride wouldn’t let me,” said the mankae and sobbed.

Seunghyun just sighed, this situation wasn’t exactly expected, although he knew something of this kind would happen if he convinced his junior to open himself to him. It wasn’t like he was troubled by the younger’s fears, it’s just that these fears were so – unreasonable, useless and yet so understandable if you considered the mankae’s personality. The older was left only with his deep sighs and a crying broken mankae.

“Jiyong loves you, you know? I’m glad you admitted that your pride is stupid, but mankae, this is a tiny and yet huge step towards becoming an adult, you know? You just need to understand a lot more things,” the older was saying while rubbing circles in his dongsaeng’s back.

“I’m glad I have hyungs like you,” Seungri tiredly whispered.

Slowly his tears stopped coming and his cheeks became dry. His breath slowed and softened and that was when Seunghyun-hyung notice that his mankae fell asleep.

With another sigh he curled the panda to the blankets and hugged him from behind – since the brat decided to use his nice personality, he could use the brat’s body warmth.

Monsters in our heads are scared of love.

“Listen up! It’s never too late to change your luck, there’s light on the other side,” Youngbae was humming to himself in their changing room. Another concert was over. It seemed like they’d been on the tour only for a week. Good times run really fast.

Seungri was laughing.

Daesung was doing stupid things while complaining about his (according to him) not good enough drummer skills. Bingu was jumping around screaming something about a good fanfiction he’d read.

Seungri was honestly happy.

Jiyong was nowhere to be found.

Usually it was Seungri who’d get lost, but now it seems like his bad habit passed onto the leader. Ever since Seungri told his hyungs what bothered him, he got smacked a few times. Youngbae got really angry when mankae told him about the unreasonable fears he held. Daesung understood him the best because he’d overcame those much sooner.

The youngest was happy because even if god doesn’t love him, nor whole mankind, his hyungs care and they love him.

The things would always bother him.

He knew he had still a long way to go until he could go cry to one of his hyungs when he was sad. But the way they never left him alone, the way they patted him and always carefully observed him to know what he was feeling at the moment was enough proof to tell him that they cared.

The only thing that bothered him now was his relationship with his leader.

Only after a never ending conversation with all of his hyungs did he understand how wrong he was. He’d started off the wrong way with Jiyong. He had to admit that the situation they were in was partly his fault. Maybe it was even mostly his fault.

Their relationship was weird at the moment.

Seungri wasn’t angry anymore, he wasn’t avoiding the older.

Leader avoided him in the backstage and in the real life. On the stage, Jiyong acted weird. Fans maybe didn’t notice a thing but he did. Leader’s stares were full of emotions, everywhere he looked. As if he was experiencing some inner breakdown – as if he was in a process of realizing something, that’s why nobody bothered him at the moment. His lyrics notes were getting messier, the changing rooms were full of sheets of paper with poems scribbled in messy unreadable handwriting. Their dorm was silent all the time. Jiyong locked himself in his room and didn’t leave until there was some physical need (to shower, to pee…) he had to do.

“Seungri, don’t even think about sleeping. At least walk out of here, don’t make your staff troubled,” Youngbae smacked his head again.

The guy seemed to grow fond of smacking the mankae. Seungri didn’t mind – it was the singer’s way of showing affection, he supposed.

“Hyuuung, I wasn’t sleeping, I was thinking,” he whined, holding his head exaggeratedly.

“Don’t do that, your head will hurt,” shouted Bingu form the back of the room.

“My head would hurt from what Dae-hyung is doing, not from thinking! I’m smart you know!” he pointed