Outfit

Everyone you love will leave you someday, whether on purpose or not, they will leave.

-02.20.102,012

Two weeks. Nia had spent two weeks with the males and she was going to go crazy.

The moment they had realized that there was no hope of them going back down the entire group went into chaos. Tao began crying in self loathing, Luhan and Lay were weeping as well just not as openly or as loudly, Jongdae began breaking things while Minseok tried to calm him down. It seemed like Yifan was the only one handling the news well until Nia felt a grip at her collar.

As Nia let out a loud gasp the others turned and found her with feet off the ground due to Yifan’s grip on her collar. Nia’s head was tilted back in her attempts to free herself from him with her hands gripping his wrists. He may have been thin, but apparently all of his mass was muscle if he was able to hold her up like a rag doll.

“Look at me,” Yifan demanded giving Nia a light shake. Did he think that just because she had accidentally made eye-contact with him once that she would do it again. “Nia, look at me now.” His grip on her slackened and her feet were once again fully planted on the silken carpet.

“I, just, I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me; tell me we can’t go back.” Yifan’s voice was pleading and cracked, he was a man with so much to lose. “I can’t believe you, not if you won’t look me in the eyes.” Even with the weakness that Yifan displayed Nia could hear the resolution in his words. He was begging her to tell him what he wanted to hear.

Steeling herself for possibly the most invasive moment of her life to date Nia slowly turned and met eyes with Yifan. She could once again see his dark brows and the coal black orbs below that were now rimmed in red and searching her own desperately for the answer he was looking for. An answer he would not find.

“I am sorry.”

Ever since she had said those three small words two weeks ago the boys had been moping and barely letting Nia leave the house. There were varying reasons for her inability to leave. Tao and Luhan wanted her to baby them while Yixing and Minseok wanted her to tell them as much as possible about the City. Jongdae wanted her to teach him about the games they had there and how to work the projector and the personal web. Yifan simply did not care and mostly acted as though she did not exist for the first while.

“Boys,” Nia spoke softly to Luhan and Tao who were clinging to her arms as she tried to escape their clutches. “I have to go. If I do not show up for class today they will send someone to look for me.” It was not exactly a lie. While no officials would come looking for her, her friends would. Her friends were becoming suspicious of her as she never missed so many days of class. She had only been able to show up sporadically because of the males in her home.

“What will we do without you though?”  Nia could hear Jongdae question from his seat in front of the projector. He had not left that spot since the siren had cried in the early morning. She shot him a withering glare and in return received a cackling laugh. “Alright, what will they do?” He questioned pointing to the boys who were stuck to her as she made her way down to the entrance.

“They will live and not have me knock them out.” Nia was responding to Jongdae, but made it obvious enough that it was a threat to the other two as well. “I will be back before the evening siren. Until then you know what to do.” She had told them the same thing every time she left even for a short amount of time. They knew not to leave by then.

Opening the door Nia heard a cry of her name and turning her head back she found Minseok rushing towards her with one of her more expensive bags in hand. Nia turned fully as Minseok stopped before her and held the bag out with a smile on his face. Minseok and his smiles were her small peices of heaven in what was quickly becoming hell, by hell she meant Tao and Luhan's clutches.

“Yixing and I made this for you for lunch.” Shocked Nia took the bag and peaked inside to find some food that Nia had never seen before, it looked edible enough. “It might not be as good as yours, but we tried. Oh, and that was just a bag I had saw lying around, is that okay?” Minseok questioned a crooked smile on his face as he peered at her.

“Of course, thank you.” She told him softly a smile also playing at her face to mirror his own. It really was not okay. That was a luxury handbag that costed more than anything he had ever worn and most certainly not a lunch box, but seeing Minseok smile so sweetly at her she could shoot him down. “I’ll see you when I get home?” It was meant to be a goodbye and yet she need confirmation that he would be there.

A small nod and the accompanying smile set Nia at ease as she gave him a small wave before leaving her front door. Nia made her way to her elevator, which had been repaired, and could feel that the smile still had yet to leave her face.

Sitting in her normal seat Nia furiously copied the notes her friends had lent her to make up for the days she had missed. None of it was sinking in as Nia was intent on just copying the information down at them moment. She had missed so much and was having a hard enough time as it was. She did not need the extra stress of knowing that the males back in her home could burn it down at any moment.

“Excuse me,” A hesitant voice called, but Nia waved them off not wanting to deal with someone trying to get her attention, not today. “Nia, please, just a moment. It is about Soojung.” Hearing the sweet little girl’s name Nia automatically turned and found Kyungsoo as the one who had been vying for her attention.

“Make it quick,” Nia told him leaning back in her seat to get more comfortable. “I have to catch up on all of this stuff. Then again, I will not understand anyways so take your time.” Nia was trying to joke, but Kyungsoo seemed flustered as he started to quickly spit out words. “Kyungsoo, I was joking just tell me, how did she do?” Nia had not had time to worry over the little girl as she had spent most of the past two days worrying over Tao and Luhan and what they were doing to her sanity.

“She, well,” Kyungsoo was wringing his hands nervously and looking around the room as she knew people were staring at them, both notorious for being quiet and keeping to themselves. “She did it, she was judged as desirable, a high level too!” Kyungsoo’s face lite up with the brightest smile Nia had ever seen on his face and suddenly she could see the true resemblance between the siblings.

“Kyungsoo!” Nia cried standing up and giving his arm a playful jab. She could hear gasps from all around. “How dare you worry me like that? I thought something bad had happened; I nearly had a heart attack!” Nia put her hand over her chest to show him just how serious she was. She had honestly worried a little that the council had made a mistake about her.

Both Kyungsoo and Nia laughed softly at her words before Kyungsoo launched into a detailed telling of how Soojung had come out crying and how he also had feared the worst until she flew into his arms and began laughing happily.

“After she finished crying she asked for you,” He told her softly and both sobered up at his words. Nia had thought the little girl might ask for her and yet she let her pride get in the way. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, just assumed you wanted something out of us. It was wrong of me, I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo’s apologies were more profuse and honest than any she had ever received before and it touched Nia’s heart to hear such kind words from the male.

“No, I am sorry.” She told him and gently took a hold of his arm. “ I should not have reacted so hastily. I grow tired of people assuming I want something out of them and I never take time to assume that maybe they have a reason for thinking that.” Nia was ashamed to have done such a thing and been so rude to the boy just because her pride was hurt. She was a creature of vanity and pride and she knew that, but she was trying to change. Yet, it seemed no matter how hard she tried she kept making mistakes

Hearing the clearing of a throat Nia and Kyungsoo both turned to find both his and Sehun’s friends standing in front of them with her friends right behind them. The two groups were looking between the two with confusion in their eyes. Why would Nia be apologizing to someone like Kyungsoo?

“Is everything okay?” Joonmyeon, the one Nia had met eyes with, questioned looking between Nia and Kyungsoo. Nia could tell they all wanted to ask more than just if everything was okay, but they also knew better than to do so.

“Why, can two friends not talk?” Nia questioned catching everyone including herself off guard. The looks of confusion deepened and Nia could see distaste in the faces of a few of the males as they looked at their friend. “If that is all you wanted, leave us.” She made sure to give a pointed look to her friends as well so that they would know she meant them too.

As though they were trying to make her angry the others left them at the slowest rate possible. Sehun took the longest and made sure to cast Nia a look that resembled a kicked puppy. After sending her a look, Sehun also sent Kyungsoo a scathing glare making the other cower back near to Nia as though she could shield him away.

Frankly speaking Nia knew she and Sehun were about the same level of desirability. Still it felt wrong to leave him out to whether Sehun’s rather intimidating glare so she stepped between the two of them and turned to shoot Sehun one of her own. He must have been shocked as he stumbled slightly on his way before completely turning and quickly retreating to his group.

“Just ignore them,” Nia told Kyungsoo softly as she turned back to him. “Those boys are silly and only think about what will get them the farthest in life.” It was true too. While they may have been sweeter to her Nia knew she was just a means to an end. Nia was just their way to get more power.

Giving a slightly shaky nod Kyungsoo made to leave and Nia knew if he left so soon he would go and she might not be able to talk to him again. The thought of not talking to Kyungsoo made Nia upset, she told herself that it was simply because if she did not speak to him any longer then she would also not hear about Soojung again and she did not like that idea at all.

“You said you were good with this, right?” Nia questioned pointing to the homework. A small nod was her only answer. “Help me.” It was not a demand, but suddenly Kyungsoo was in the seat and helping Nia to understand the information, which apparently her friend had gotten wrong. See if she ever asked Yeonhee for help again.

The rest of Nia’s day was spent in class and then work before she hurriedly made her way to the elevator to take her home. It had been a long and stressful day and Nia was all too happy to get back to the six people in her house and to check on them and all of her belongings.

She really wanted to thank Minseok for the lunch. It was the first time she had lunch in a long time and it was delicious even though she had no clue what it was. She was even able to eat with Kyungsoo as he helped her even more with the homework she had and told her stories about his life and Soojung.

Nia could not remember a more enjoyable day in her life.

Entering the space she called home Nia immediately could smell something delicious and nearly tripped taking off her shoes as she was so distracted and in a rush to see what could possibly smell so good.

It was a foreign feeling, walking into a loud atmosphere within the apartment, but Nia loved it all the same. It felt like she was coming home for the first time in a long time. Sure the boys were still put out, but they were slowly starting to accept what was happening to them. She felt bad for them, they had essentially lost their home, but she would help them get back onto their feet and make sure that they always had a home with them.

She had decided to take care of the boys when she had found Tao curled up with one of their dingy clothes that she had somehow missed.

It was early in the morning on their first night after finding out. After waking up to bumping sounds, Nia made her way down the halls and found Tao huddled up in a small ball in the lower bathroom beside the rubbish bin. In his hands Nia could make out the grubby appearance of one of the cloths the originally wore.

He was a wreck, crying and snotty nosed. He wailed in a language Nia could not understand. Gently and slowly as to not scare the poor boy Nia made her way over to him and slid her hand onto his back. Tao jumped and turned as though afraid that something may attack him. When he saw it was only Nia his arms slid from his own body and hugged tightly onto Nia's legs.

Shocked Nia froze for a split second before slipping down to comfort the crying male before her. Tao buried his face into the crook of her neck and Nia immediately felt the tears leaking onto her skin. She could do nothing more than rub his back and hold him tightly. She dare not say a word in fear of spitting out something stupid and upsetting Tao any further.

The two stayed on the bathroom floor until Yifan found them when he saw Tao had gone missing.

Ever since then Tao had been attached to her hip while she was at home and forced her to call at every break while she was gone. Yifan had also been slightly more friendly. Nia was sure he knew that none of it was her fault, but he needed someone to blame and she was the perfect target. She did not mind though, she knew he needed it so she would give him time to come around.

“Nia, you’re home!” Tao cried running over to her as his footsteps echoed across the floorboards. She had told him on more than one occasion not to run in the house, but she soon realized he would never listen and gave up. “I was so worried! you’re later than normal!” He was right too, it was almost curfew.

“Sorry Tao.” She reached up and ruffled his hair affectionately. “The elevator was extra crowded so I had to wait.” The boys had already learned of her distaste for crowds. They had once all tried to fit on the sofa with her and she had nearly had a panic attack at so many bodies in such a small area.

“Minseok is making dinner tonight!” Nia smiled at the thought of eating the elder’s cooking again. She would not mind if he made all of her food for the rest of her life. “Did you have fun at school and work?” Tao questioned faithfully following Nia up the stairs on her way to greet the others.

As she had assumed, they were all grouped around the kitchen and watching the duo of Minseok and Yixing cooking. Minseok was doing most of the work with a good amount of help from Yixing. They made a fantastic pair, especially if their cooking was anything to go by.

“Hey guys.” Nia greeted the others upon entering the dining area. She was greeted with varying levels of enthusiasm, the most being Luhan who hopped up the moment he saw her and the least being Chen who did not even respond to her with his eyes locked on the food.

Minseok smiled over at Nia as his greeting before announcing that dinner was nearly done. After forcing the males to wash up, Nia had them sit nicely at the table and ready for Minseok and Yixing to bring the food over. Again, the food looked like nothing she had ever seen, but she knew if it was half as good as her lunch then it would be delicious.

The meal was filled with constant laughter and talking and yet it felt almost forced. She prefered it when they were quiet and it felt honest. She did not want them to pretend to be happy if they were not. She knew though, from her classes, that people often pretended to be happy in attempt to actually be such.

“I checked ten more elevators today.” For the past two weeks Nia had been checking every elevator she could find to see if they would take her lower than allowed. “No luck.” The hopeful face of the males slipped and a silence blanketed the table. “I will not stop, not until I find a way to get you home.” she promised the silent bunch.

Honestly, she did not want to let the males go, they were the only thing that had made her truly happy in so long. But, they were sad and she hated seeing them trying to cover it up. Nia knew she could not make them happy no matter how hard she tried. So, she would do the next best thing and send them back to the only place that could truly bring them happiness.

“Thank you, Nia, for everything.” Yifan’s voice was something that had not been directed at the girl in a long while. “We know you are trying your best and it means a lot.” There he goes again. Most of the time when Yifan spoke to her it was rude or callous words, but sometimes they were just the words she needed to hear and then Nia would feel charged and ready to keep going. She lived for those moments.

As the night went on the boys came more to life after overcoming Nia’s bad news. She could see that they did honestly enjoy a few of the things that she had to offer them. They enjoyed the projections the most. Though the first time they saw one they were scared beyond belief and Nia nearly died of laughter. She had been lectured by Yifan for laughing at their pain, but that never stopped her giggling fit.

Leaving the males Nia poured a glass of water before wandering around her apartment in search of the one male who never seemed interested in such things. She found Yifan staring out the window at seemingly nothing. She had not yet the vision that would cover up the actual view.

She hated looking out at the city and seeing it dying and her not doing anything about it. Instead, she put up a vision to make it look as though she had a view of some place from when the City was still covering the planet, she did not even know the name of the place.

“Is this real?” Yifan questioned looking out at the darkening sky and the few stars that littered it. “Is that the real sky or is this a different vision?” He was the first to find out that the vision was not real. He had stared out the window so many times and after a few days after they arrived it rained and he asked how it was possible, earth did not rain.

He then found out how fake the beauty he saw really was.

“Yes, it is real.” Nia told him leaning against the window. The black smog surrounding them was real, just as real as the flickering lights down below. Even the darkening sky with the few surviving stars. “This is the most real thing you will ever see.” She told him softly her gaze locked on a star that would soon die as it had been struggling to keep burning for years.

Nia could relate to that star more than anything else in her life.

Neither said a word as they stood, the boys downstairs as the only sound around them. It was obvious that they both had many thoughts going on in their heads. Nia questioned how she could help the boys, how she could get them home and still be happy once they left. It had selfishly occurred to her that she did not have to help them find a way home, but lying to them and saying that she was trying to help just felt wrong to her. Nia had no clue as to what could be going through Yifan’s mind, he was always a mystery to her.

Feeling a gaze on her Nia turned and found that Yifan was facing her. His fingers gently tilted her chin up trying to make her look into his eyes. She knew that just going along with his wishes would be better than fighting it. Apparently, where they were from looking each other in the eye was a sign of mutual trust and respect. That was what Minseok had told her when she asked why Yifan always wanted eye contact.

“Why is everything dying?” Yifan questioned staring down into her eyes and what felt like her soul. “Why is there black death in the air?” He questioned before casting his gaze to look out at the smog.  Yifan had a way of asking her questions that Nia either did not want to answer or that she had no answer for. This time it was the former.

Knowing Yifan would giver her a moment to think over her answer Nia looked at the smog Yifan had questioned her about. She knew he only meant it at a metaphor, even if he did not know what that was. He was smart and someone Nia respected, though he did act like there was a stick up his rear. She knew he understood the City if only a smidgen.

“People here are selfish. They do what suits them best and never think of the consequences.” Nia had watched the stars lights begin to fade. In the beginning it was slow, but that changed with all the new technology. “The people here are selfish.” She repeated quietly to herself.”

“Are you selfish too?” Yifan questioned looking down at the girl beside him. She could see in his eyes what he wanted her to say. He wanted her to deny it and say she wasn’t selfish and that she was different from everyone surrounding them. Yifan wanted her to prove that she was worth something. Nia knew what her answer was.

“Yes.”

And it was true. She had fallen prey to all the fads. She bought all the creams and make ups. She bought all the new light fixtures even as she watched firsthand the light reserve’s numbers drop daily. She knew that she was a part of the problem. Nia had known and yet she never stopped. She never wanted to stop. After all, she could stop when she was dead.

Utter contempt crossed Yifan’s face as he stared out at the near blank void around them.

Silence consumed the two as they stared out at the vast nothingness that lay outside of Nia’s window. Nia could practically feel the anger rolling off of Yifan. He may not have said anything, but she knew that he had high expectations for her. She didn’t know why he did. All she knew was that she didn’t want to let him down.

“I’m sorry, I can’t change myself over night.” She whispered lifting her glass to her lips and refusing to take her eyes off of the window before them. “This is how I was raised, to not care about anything that was deemed beneath me. I understand that you are angry.” Nia couldn’t find it in herself to say any more as she knew it was possible she would just make it worse.

Nia found that it was becoming more true too as the days went by. She could try all she wanted, but the mistakes just kept happening. She would get angry at someone deemed beneath her if they made her drink wrong or looked at her for too long. Nia knew she had no obligation to act nicer to those beneath her, but when she thought things like that she also thought about Kyungsoo's smile when she was with him earlier and how it had made her feel good to see someone smiling so genuinly at her.

Kyungsoo was not the only reason either. It was mainly the males residing within her house. Everytime she felt like giving up and just continuing on in her old ways she would think of Minseok or Tao and their disappointment in her. Suddenly whenever she would think of them she would have a knew vigour in her that would make her want to continue working hard. They had given her a reason to change and yet there she was letting Yifan down with her dirty truth.

“You silly girl,” She heard before a large hand rested itself on her head and Nia felt her body being pulled by it. “I’m not angry, just disappointed.” She knew Yifan had meant those words as encouragement, but they served to do the opposite. “And before you get too far ahead of yourself I meant with this society, not you.” He pulled her closer until her neck was tucked just underneath his arm.

“Are you a good person?” He questioned and it made Nia also think about it. No one had ever told her otherwise, but then again she was sure at least a few people in all of the City had to dislike her. She was no saint, even if those around her claimed she was an angel, though she tried to please people to the best of her abilities.

Nia knew plenty of people who were less desirable than her. In fact, most of the people Nia knew were less desirable than her. Seeing as they were less desirable than her Nia knew they could never voice the contempt for her. If the less desirables in her life did hold contempt for her she would probably never know.

There were people who were more desirable than her, but Nia didn’t know many and the ones she did know had never bad mouthed her to her face. The fact that they had never said it to her face did not matter though. Nia knew from experience that desirables never badmouth other desirables to their faces, it was considered distasteful.

While there were obviously going to be people who did not like her like those below her who could not voice their hatred and those above her who refused to voice it, Nia knew at least a few people liked her. Yuri did and Kyungsoo did. There were two sides to the answer, it was yes or no, but she could not really answer either so she went with the safest bet of an answer.

“It depends who you ask.”

For her it was strange. She could not remember a single time of wanting someone to approve of her, she knew they naturally would so she did not worry. But, with Yifan all Nia could do was worry.

Yifan was rude and abrasive to Nia when they first met. He had not treated her with the respect she knew she deserved and yet she found herself drawn into him. She knew it was because of the fact that no one had ever treated her in such a way. She was pampered and treated as a delicate flower and yet there was Yifan calling her a brat.

While it was true that he was more rude to her than everyone else in her life combined, he made her feel like she was worth something. He made her think things through over the past two weeks. He had made her earn his respect and he had earned hers. Yifan had been the one to defend Nia when the others had been disappointed in her for something she did not do and he had understood that she could do nothing but try to help when the could not go home.

Nia wanted to impress him and to make him see how great she was. One would think it would make her hate him, all the stress he gave her, but it did no such thing. In fact, all of the stress Yifan’s presence pushed onto Nia did the exact opposite of making her hate him.

It drew her to him, like a moth to a flame.