bécarre - musical marking that neutralizes a note stated otherwise

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-Hakyeon's POV-

“I really can’t talk right now, Sanghyuk-ah.” Ask me to stay.

 

“Kai is waiting on me right now, so I’ll be leaving first.” Stop me from going to him.

 

I didn’t allow the first tear to fall until I was halfway down the corridor. Not only would I be disappointing myself with this decision, but what would the others think? Especially Taekwoon…
 

A hand gripped tightly around my wrist and I found myself forcefully being whirled around -my phone and water bottle clattered noisily to the ground- to face a defeated looking Sanghyuk. I blinked the tears away rapidly and tried to pull my wrist out of his grasp, but he held fast.

“Don’t.” His voice was pleading and almost pitiful. “Don’t go until I’ve said what I need to say.”

 

The raw desperation in his voice sent pangs of guilt straight down to my gut. Here was Sanghyuk, right in front of me, and all I could think of was what Taekwoon had said about an opportunity presenting itself. If I choose to let him have this second chance and we end up working things out it has the potential of being one of the best decisions I’ll ever make.

 

And then there’s Kai’s words conveniently poisoning any thought I had about going against his requests, no, his demands. The ones that if I failed to meet them, would result in Sanghyuk getting hurt and my anonymity being stripped away just like that.

 

I took a small step backward and tried to think of a way to slip out of his grasp-

 

“I said don’t! God dammit, stop running away from me! Kai can wait a moment, just let me explain… things.”

 

I took a deep breath and relaxed my body to convey my surrender to his pleas, not trusting my voice enough in the moment.

 

“I know you probably hate me after the things you heard Hongbin say last week, but it’s really not like that.. I don’t hate you, okay? I don’t think that you’re annoying and I sure as hell wasn’t taking your help for granted.”

 

“So Hongbin just made all of that up?”

 

“No! H-He- I… I did say those things to him, and he had every right to be angry at me, but I swear to God I didn’t mean any of it.” His eyes searched mine as he tried to find the right words and I waited patiently. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before letting out an exhausted sigh, “There’s a lot going on in my life right now and what you heard.. were the things I said to Hongbin when I was stressing out over something... something he doesn’t even know about.”

 

Sanghyuk lowered my wrist but kept his grip on it. His guilty eyes glanced around the corridor and he swallowed thickly before continuing, “And when I was particularly stressed.. I couldn’t just whine about my situation… So I took it out on you, and that was totally unfair of me. I really am sincerely sorry.”

 

“I appreciate your apology, Sanghyuk… But--”

 

My phone began to vibrate against the tile flooring from where it had been tossed aside before and I cursed it endlessly for interrupting at such a moment. Neither of us needed to see the name flashing across the screen to know who was calling.

 

“Don’t go.”

 

“It’s not that I want to go right now, trust me, I really don’t.” I half-whispered with a small shake of my head. That seemed to be enough of a white flag for him.

 

“Then don’t.” Sanghyuk reiterated firmly and tightened his grip around my wrist before leading the both of us into the same dance studio we’d just come from a few moments prior.

 

He finally let go of my wrist when we were stood in front of a mirror only to place both of his hands on my shoulders to gently direct me toward sitting on the floor.

 

“Sit… Please.” Sanghyuk commanded softly. I obeyed and sat with my back against the mirror, Sanghyuk sat directly across from me with his legs crossed and fingers tapping on his knees nervously. He looked past me for a moment, his eyes focused on something in the mirror, and slowly breathed in and out.

 

“I have to say this now or I won’t have the guts to tell you later.” Sanghyuk spoke clearly, and if it weren’t for the non stop fidgeting of his fingers across the tops of his knees, he would have seemed completely calm.

 

“I… I mean if it’s that bad that you have to keep it from even Hongbin… You don’t have to tell me, that’s not what I was wanting to accomplish.”

 

“I only kept it from him because I knew he’d do everything in his power to help me out, and I didn’t want to put him through this stress with me.”

 

Sanghyuk’s eyes flickered over to meet mine and we held each other’s gaze without wavering.

 

“I need to-- no, I want to tell you this.”

 

I tugged at my ear nervously and nodded slowly, “Okay, I’m listening.”

 

He ran a hand through his hair for what had to have been the sixth or seventh time within the last ten minutes before sighing and beginning his story.

 

He was only about a minute into explaining everything when he stood up and began to pace the studio and I listened with all of my attention. I knew how hard it must have been deciding to go through with telling me everything now, even with the guilt of having not told Hongbin still hanging heavily over his head.

 

It was a story that I could relate to all too well.

 

We were both silent for a few moments after he finished.

 

“You’re a good friend, Sanghyuk-ah..” I began, thinking over my words carefully. “But I think you should have told him. I completely understand his anger now, and his animosity toward me makes a lot of sense. Hongbin probably thinks that I know all these things that he doesn’t.. and it hurts him because you two are best friends and I’m some guy you just met…” Sanghyuk nodded in understanding, but as I talked all I could think about was the look on Hongbin’s face when he saw us during the private lesson last week. “I know you swear up and down that you and Hongbin are just friends, but did anything ever happen in the past between the two of you? Wait, you don’t have to answer that, I’m out of line here asking something like that.”

 

“No, it’s alright, I don’t mind answering.” Sanghyuk sighed and sank down against the mirror until he was sitting directly next to me. Well, there went any chance of either of us getting to eat lunch before our next class.

 

“I.. Hongbin and I have been friends since we were very young. He came out to me a week before he told his family when we were in our last year of middle school, but he didn’t confess to me until we were in high school. I was flattered, and of course I loved him.. just not in the way he wanted me to love him, and I told him that. We both agreed to forget the confession happened and things went back to normal for the most part. I knew Hongbin was hurt, though. How could he not be after I rejected him? I just.. I don’t know, I guess I thought he’d completely moved on, but this behavior is so unlike him.”

 

Sanghyuk silently glared at the floor for a few moments before looking at me as if he’d just had an epiphany.

 

“He even went away for the entire weekend without telling me and didn’t answer a single one of my text messages! Does he not know how worrying that is!?”

 

He crossed his arms in frustration and I giggled at his childish pouting, the serious atmosphere evaporating into thin air.

 

, he’s adorable.

 

“It’s not funny!” He whined. “What if he’d gotten himself hurt somehow and I didn’t know?!”

 

“Sounds like nothing more than a good old dose of your own medicine if you ask me.” I teased with a smug grin.

 

“I didn’t ask.” Sanghyuk deadpanned.

 

“Technically…”

 

“Shh,” Sanghyuk shushed and held a single finger to my lips. My eyes went wide at the sudden gesture, “I liked you better when you were just listening.”

 

His eyes zeroed in on where his finger was still pressed to my mouth and his expression mirrored mine as he realized what exactly he’d just done before quickly pulling away and hiding his face in his arms. Funny, I didn’t expect him to be the bashful type.

 

I brought a hand up to my face, ghosting the tips of my fingers over where his had just lain over my lips. There was an unfamiliar warmth rising in my cheeks-

 

No, I shook my head to clear it. I don’t get flustered, get yourself together Hakyeon.

 

-Hyuk’s POV-

 

To say that Hakyeon knowing everything was a relief would be the understatement of the year. There was still the same never ending black hole of guilt in the pit of my stomach that came with having not told Hongbin yet, but it would only last for a little bit longer. I promised myself and Hakyeon that I would tell Hongbin everything tonight, no matter what I have to do to make him listen to me.

 

A light tapping on my shoulders reminded me of my current situation. Right.. why did I press my finger to his lips? And why the hell did I hide after? Stupid, stupid, stupid!

 

“Hmmph?” I mumbled into my arm.

 

“Taekwoonie mentioned something to me the other morning.” Hakyeon said. His light tapping eventually turned into poking along my arm until he reached the elbow, then back up the arm. When I still didn’t turn back around to face him he began poking down the length of my back.

 

“Is- is that s-so?”

 

His poking became more and more insistent and I began to breathe in deeply to keep from laughing as he hit all of my ticklish spots.

 

“Mhmm..” He hummed out in a sing-song like voice. “He said you had a question for me.. But I distinctly remember saying that I would let you ask me whatever you want if you choose to be my dance partner.”

 

I slowly turned back around to face Hakyeon and squinted at him skeptically.

 

“I honestly wasn’t sure if you would be able to make the connection…”

 

Hakyeon all but knocked both of us over with the way he jumped up with a squeal. It was like his personality took a complete 180° turn.

 

“Really?! Are you being serious right now? Like, for real?!” He questioned with a finger pointed less than an inch from my face, the back of my head lightly bumping into the mirror when I shied away from it.

 

“Well..” I began, looking side to side, anywhere away from his finger. “I don’t really see how it could hurt--”

 

My confirmation was cut off with another high pitched squeal as he danced ridiculously around the studio while spouting off ideas of what kinds of dances he’d like to challenge and naming off songs he’s always wanted to make choreography to.

 

“This is seriously the best because, I mean, Taekwoon has a great body and all, but with the way you are built-- I just..! Waaahh…!!”

 

Cute.

 

Hakyeon’s excited chattering suddenly stopped and I looked up at him just as he was sliding his back down the mirror. I couldn’t hold back a wince of my own when he landed on his with a loud thud, face looking absolutely torn. I was beginning to get dizzy from how fast his mood could just completely turn around like that.

 

“What?” I questioned him, worry settling in the pit of my stomach when what looked like tears began to gather in Hakyeon’s eyes.

 

“Kai.”

 

“What does Kai have anything to do with this?” I asked, confused. I knew that he was supposed to be meeting with Kai, but for what I still didn’t know.

 

Hakyeon looked away biting his lip, “Kai.. He approached me over the weekend while I was avoiding you…”

 

He went on to explain everything that was said between them that day that I was only able to stand at a distance and watch. My blood boiled as he recounted and I wished I could turn back time. Had I known what was going on I would have never stayed still and let it happen right in front of me.

 

“Just who does he think he is giving you an ultimatum like that? I seriously don’t understand a single thing going on inside his head.” I fumed. “I could seriously punch him. Hard. Multiple times.”

 

“That will not do either of us any good and you know that.”

 

“It will make me feel better.”

 

“And then you’ll get your scholarship revoked and be sent home.” He spoke in a way that reminded me of when he gave me advice on the rooftop last week. “We have to think about this logically.”

 

“There’s nothing I can do or say that will stop him.” I said while fishing my phone from my pocket and quickly opening up one of my more recent text conversations. “But I think I know someone who might be able to.”

 

Hakyeon settled his chin on my shoulder -an action that I wouldn’t allow my brain to process as anything other than a result of his playful and touchy nature- and watched silently as my thumbs quickly typed out a message to-

 

“Traitor?” I nearly jumped at how close his mouth was to my ear and willed every fibre of my being to ignore the way his breath tickled the skin just under it.

 

I laughed for a moment and wanted to cringe at how forced and nervous the sound was before answering him.

 

“It’s a nickname for Sungjae… I uh, kind of gave him the name after he volunteered me to dance with you on the first day of term.”

 

I puffed out my cheeks and made an attempt to give Hakyeon the cutest puppydog eyes I could muster up. He looked none too impressed, instead raising his hand and flicking me hard on one of my puffed out cheeks. I yelped in pain and cradled my right cheek, “I deserved that.”

 

“Yeah, you did.” He said matter-of-factly. Hakyeon’s mouth was set in a thin line but his eyes shone mischievously.

 

I pouted at him pathetically and fought my own smile as one spread across his face

 

“Oh, don’t be such a baby. It didn’t hurt that bad.” Hakyeon giggled as he pulled my hand away from my face and began to gingerly poke at my cheek with his finger. He paused with his finger still poked into the side of my face and sighed through his now softened smile, “So cute…”

 

My phone received a message then, the loud notification ping shattering the thin bubble that had momentarily separated Hakyeon and myself from the rest of the world. Sungjae mentioned in the text message that he was currently in some sort of cafe down the street from the Academy, the very same one that I’d gone to with Taekwoon and the other two Monday morning.

 

I sighed and let my head fall back against the mirror.

 

“What can Sungjae do to help anyway?”

 

“He’s Kai’s roommate… and for some weird reason Kai always seems to listen to him. I don’t get it, but I’m not about to question it, either. But none of that really matters at the moment because Sungjae isn’t even on campus right now. Ugh.”

 

“Tell him anyway, he might be able to call Kai and talk him out of it. You said he listens to Sungjae, there’s no harm in trying.”

 

“Alright.”

 

“Excuse me?” A female voice called out from the entrance to the studio. “Sorry if I’m interrupting, but does this phone belong to one of you? It was on the ground in the hallway…”

 

“It’s mine, thank you.” Hakyeon made quick work to move up from our spot against the mirror to retrieve his phone from the girl.

 

“Oh! Sunbae!” She exclaimed and bowed deeply after handing Hakyeon his phone.

 

“Ah… do I know you?” Hakyeon asked with a polite smile. I listened quietly, wondering the same thing since my brain didn’t seem to want to work properly in remembering her face.

 

“You were in the ballet class for a few days last week, right? My name is Joy and I take that class along with Sanghyuk,” She paused to look at me with a sympathetic smile before beaming back up at Hakyeon. “And I can’t help but wonder… will you be coming back to classes any time soon?”

 

“Excuse me?” Hakyeon asked, surprised at her blunt questioning.

 

“Ah, I don’t mean to sound rude or anything, but Sanghyuk seems a bit miserable without you there. I don’t blame him, either. He’s been having to partner up with our instructor all week and you’re kind of the moodmaker when it comes to that class. My partner, Sungjae, tries his best but Kai usually cuts him off with his infamous glares pretty quickly.”

 

“I, uh… You don’t sound rude at all. I didn’t realize Sanghyuk had been--”

 

“Absolutely devastated if you ask me,” Joy cut in. “You should have seen the way he would stare at the door to see if you would attend cl-

 

“Alright, thaaaat’s enough for now. Thank you, Joy!” I stepped between the two and began to guide the intruder to the exit. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow morning!” I said with a feigned sweetness to hide my embarrassment.

 

Christ, she’s like the female version of Sungjae.

 

“Hope to see you there too, Sunbae!” Joy turned around to wave at Hakyeon and it was comical the way she had to continuously jump up and down to see past me, her chin occasionally brushing the front of my hoodie.

 

Hakyeon’s amused grin softened as he nodded at toward where I was currently steering Joy out of the studio, “I’ll be there!” He called to her with a wave.

 

I stopped short, not at all expecting him to decide on going back to the class so easily. “Really?”

 

Joy forced her way out of my grip with a hard pinch to my side and shoved me none to gently, “REALLY?!” She beamed, glancing back and forth between myself and Hakyeon. “That’s great! I’ll see you then!”

 

The raven-haired girl bowed deeply once more and smirked knowingly at me when she turned to leave to studio.

 

“Let’s go,” I jumped at Hakyeon’s voice, not at all expecting him to be so close. “Classes are starting again soon.” He handed over my dance bag and we made our way to the stairwell exit. “Try not to worry about any of this stuff for a while and just focus on class, okay?”

 

“Easier said than done. I have hell to go through for the next few hours, also known as classes with a silent best friend, a guy that hates my existence, and hunger pains.” I whined and my stomach growled as if on cue.

 

Hakyeon stopped me at the entrance to the second floor of the annex and reached into his dance bag before pulling out a couple of granola bars. “Peanut butter, or s’mores flavor?”

 

I grabbed the peanut butter flavored one and resumed walking.

 

“Hey,” Hakyeon pulled on my arm once he had caught up to me and forced us both to a stop again. “You probably haven’t heard this from anyone in a while, but I’m proud of you.”

 

“I would have just kept walking if I’d known you were going to be this sappy.”

 

“Don’t be a brat.” He hissed with a pinch to the very same spot Joy had got me earlier. There would definitely be a bruise there.

 

“My apologies, ahjussi.” I joked and immediately braced myself for the inevitable pinch or poke.

 

-Sungjae-

 

Sungjae stuffed a large bill into the tip jar placed on the counter that greeted him before the blonde barista even noticed he had a new customer. He was too busy putting together an order that was placed only moments before Sungjae walked in and Sungjae watched from behind the counter in awe as he put the finishing touches of a cute panda character in the foam on top of a latte.

 

“Wow.. You’re like one of those really fancy baristas, huh?”

 

“Christ, you scared me!”

 

“My name is Sungjae, remember? Or have you forgotten me that quickly? My feelings are hurt!” Sungjae pathetically exclaimed, causing various customers to look up at them.

 

“Shut up.” Taemin whispered with an eye roll. “Go sit down, I’m taking my break after I finish up this order.”

 

Sungjae smiled slyly and all but skipped over to an empty booth in a corner of the cafe. He hadn’t planned on staying very long, only to order a drink and head back to the Academy, but he wasn’t about to skip out on a conversation with Taemin. The two of them rarely saw each other, but Sungjae felt like he’d been friends with Taemin for ages after hearing so much about him from Kai.

 

Taemin finished the order quickly and disappeared behind the counter once again. Sungjae was just about to find a new place to sit so that he could see the barista from his seat but he quickly forgot all about moving from the booth when his phone chimed to alert him of a new text.

 

[10:58AM] Sanghyuk: where are you right no?

[10:58AM] Sanghyuk: now*

 

Sungjae chuckled at the quick correction of the typo but furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Why would Sanghyuk be wondering where he was? They were friends, at least Sungjae thought as much, but aside from having most of their classes together and occasionally eating breakfast in the dining hall they hardly talked at all. There was no question as to why this was, it was clear to both parties that Kai’s animosity toward Sanghyuk kept their friendship from developing any further.

 

He quickly replied to the message and even asked if Sanghyuk wanted anything while he was here. It would be fine so long as Kai didn’t see him giving the treat to Sanghyuk...

 

Sungjae sighed and rubbed at his temples with his forefingers. Why did things have to be so complicated? It was only the second week of school for ’s sake!

 

He suddenly remembered the Hyuk’s short confession during lunch the other day.

 

Oh…

 

Why?! Why would Sanghyuk just tell him something like that out of the blue?

 

In his whole life, Sungjae has never known his parents to be anything but loving and supportive of his and his sibling’s wishes and Sungjae just couldn’t wrap his head around Sanghyuk’s parents’ behavior. It angered him to no end just thinking about it--

 

“What did that salt shaker ever do to offend you?” Taemin’s voice broke him away from the stressful thoughts, and he realized he was staring -glaring, really- at the salt shaker sitting near the edge of the table.

 

The barista sat two cups on the table and slid into the seat opposite of Sungjae with a half concerned half amused look on his face.

 

“It’s a lot of unnecessary drama that I’ve somehow landed myself in the middle of…” He trailed off with a sigh. He was about to question the steaming drink that now sat in front of him when his phone chimed once more.

 

He sure took ages to reply… Sungjae thought and slid a finger across the screen to unlock his phone.

 

“Well, I’m a good listener. I don’t mind hearing about all the stupid drama if you don’t mind tell me about it!” Taemin said cheerfully. The other boy only glanced up from his phone for a moment to squint at him skeptically.

 

“I don’t think it’s my place to tell, honestly.”

 

“Who am I going to tell?”

 

“It’s not that… not that I’m w-worried about th--.” Sungjae sputtered out until he quit speaking altogether and his eyes widened as he read through the string of messages Sanghyuk sent him.

 

[11:07AM] Sanghyuk: i’m sorry to bother you like this, but i don’t know how much time i have… basically kai is  blackmailing hakyeon-hyung into ditching me for him with the pdd project & to be his subject for a choreo project.

[11:08AM] Sanghyuk: he’s threatening to have people come for me and strip hakyeon of his anonymity as the other recipient of the same scholarship i have…

[11:08AM] Sanghyuk: you know i wouldn’t be telling you all of this if it wasn’t important, but i know that kai listens to you. is there anything you can do to stop him? call him or anything? i’m pretty desperate at this point.

 

Part of Sungjae didn’t want to believe the texts. How could he believe them when he’d seen the sides of Kai that he lets no one other than Taemin see?

 

There were no options this time around, not when his friend’s well being was in jeopardy. Sungjae wanted to believe that he knew Kai well enough to say that he was all bark and no bite, but he didn’t. He had no other choice than to tell the one person who knew Kai better than anyone else.

 

“There’s something I need to tell you about Kai.”

 

“What? Is he alright, did something happen?”

Sungjae worried his bottom lip between his teeth. He didn’t like having to be the bearer of bad news like this...

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-Joy

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A/N: sorry sorry sorry for the wait, just wait a little longer for the second half<3 
-I've been switching in and out of first and third person because I've become a lot more comfortable with writing in third person lately, but I've created a poll on twitter so that you guys may choose which point of view you prefer. Please vote HERE ~thank you in advance!
-Also very big thank you to my friend Liza (DiamondWings) for pre-reading my updates^^ she writes the best Neo, so you should all check her out!