“Whoa Amy you look so tired,” EXO’s manager chuckled walking towards me. Glad to know I look like death without makeup. I don’t know how I got to the SM lobby safely, everything this morning was a blur. I barely got any sleep last night.

“Let’s get on the bus, it’s outside,” he said after I didn’t respond to his first comment. I managed to stand up on both feet and followed him out. The giant coach bus was parked right outside waiting to take us to the MV location. I drearily clambered up the steps and was met with the sight of all the boys passed out sleeping. I took a seat closest to the front and sat by the window. I was also ready to pass out.

"First we're gonna shoot the group dance then the dance break, then acting scenes," the director explained to us. We were on set of a fake roller skating rink with plenty of green screens plastered onto the walls. We stood in a semi circle mixed in with the production crew listening to the director's instructions.

"Since the concept of the song is the guys trying to get the girl, that is what the concept of the music video will be. The first verse we will have Amy walk through the door with her two friends and the 12 of you sitting casually by the tables. We will film some of you trying to impress her while she's ordering at the concession stand, following her while roller skating, peering at her from behind a wall while she's putting on her skates, real cheesy stuff okay. We'll take this one scene at a time since there's so many of you and so many scenes. Is everybody ready to work hard today?"

"NE!" we all called out. The concept of the MV reminds me of Justin Bieber's Baby music video but instead of a bowling alley it's a roller skating rink. It's a bit too similar actually.

"EXO, AMY, take your positions on the skating rink and let's get started!" he said energetically.

After shooting 7-8 run thrus of the regular choreography and the dance break with Lay and Kai, it was time to shoot the individual rap verses for the Chinese and Korean versions.

"Tao and Chanyeol onto the set!" the director called out. "Tao on standby, Chanyeol first."

They shoved me and Chanyeol in front of a green screen wall which I assumed would give it a cool background during editing. They started Chanyeol's rap and he started lip synching along to the song, moving his arms around, getting all hyped up. He looked so cool and calm like his smooth rapper alter ego just came out. I just stood there staring blankly at him when I suddenly realized I was in the shot too and we had started.

"Wait sorry can we start that over?" I said coming to my senses.

"Yeah NG start the song over"

The song started and I tried to act as natural as possible, as SM had trained me to do. I stood next to Chanyeol and moved my hips along to the beat while he lip synched. I started my verse and Chanyeol swung his arm over my shoulders as we swayed towards the camera finishing my verse off with "never don't mind about a thing." I turned my back to the camera cooly, walking off into the background, giving the spotlight back to him. The one thing I’m completely confident with: my ability to look calm and collected on the outside while my insides are actually doing cannonballs into my stomach.

An intern announced that lunch had arrived so we all sat down on the floor with the pizza boxes scattered in front of us. Just as I grabbing a slice of pepperoni, my manager plopped down next to me sending her strong whiff of perfume onto me.

“How did you sleep last night?” she asked staring down into my eyes.

“Not very good,” I answered honestly, she knew about my tendency to over-think things. “I couldn’t fall asleep because I was too worried. I couldn’t stop thinking.”

“Well I talked to PR. Things will go as scheduled and your promotional video will come out tomorrow as planned. Nothing’s changed so don’t worry. There’s no time to stress anyway,” she said. The last part was supposed to calm me but all it did was remind me of how much harder I had to work even after debut. I soon began to realize that the idol life wasn't as glamorous as it seemed on the outside.

“Okay,” I responded in English. I didn’t know what to say back to her, my worry was still present. She took a slice of regular cheese pizza and got up to join the other staff members chatting to the side. I look