Yonghwa was beaming as he bowed at the crowd who clapped and cheered, appreciating the melody even though they hardly understood the meaning of his song. He had forgotten all about what he said to the audience that he will be translating for them the lyrics of the song when he saw his wife crying in the corner.

“Hyun!” he held her face when he got close.

She bowed her head, trying to hide her face from him.

“Hyun, why are you crying?” he tried to lift her face up and make her look at him.

“You, moron!” she sniffed. “Why do you have to say that? Why do you have to sing that to me? You didn’t have to say sweet things like that because the audience couldn’t even understand a word. There’s no need to show off.”

“What show off are you talking about? I only did these things for you. I don’t care what others would think,” he said tenderly and it squeezed her heart. No, she didn’t want to believe anything that he says and fall in his trap again.

She shook her head and wiped her tears. “Stop it. Why do you have to say to me that you wrote that for me ten years ago? Somehow I find that hard to believe when you had left me and hurt me.”

“And I told you I have reasons for doing that. It was you I really loved, Seohyun-ah. Jiyeon was like a sister to me.”

She looked at him, her gaze penetrating. “But you left me for her.”

“Do you want to know why? Are you ready to listen now? Because I tried explaining before, but you wouldn’t want to hear a word that I say,” he asked, feeling nervous.

She swallowed the lump in . How much would the truth hurt? And would the way she looks at him change? Would the truth, if it is really the truth, make her heart more vulnerable to loving him and getting hurt again?

“I’m willing to listen,” she finally told him.

…………………………………..

“Flowers for you,” Onew put a bouquet of flowers on Krystal’s desk.

Krystal looked up at him in surprise, hanging open. “Oppa…I…”

His eyes disappeared as his smile grew wider. “Don’t worry, they’re not from me.”

Her heart was filled with anticipation and hope at his words. But she suddenly squashed the feeling before it would even spread all over her. Why would Minho give her these? There’s no reason at all.

“Where are they from?”

Onew shrugged. “He said he was some secret admirer of yours.”

Krystal narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously.

“Oh, there’s a card attached. Open it and see who sent these flowers,” Onew said, picking up a white card and handing it to her.

Fingers slightly shaking, she slowly opened the card and read it.

I’m sorry.

It was unsigned.

Somehow she knew who it was from but instead of feeling happy she felt hurt. And then she felt angry. What is this idiot doing? Does he think he could bribe him with flowers? Maybe he wants her to shut up and not tell the whole world what a jerk SHINee’s Choi Minho is.

“Who is it from?” Onew asked, still smiling.

She threw the flowers in the waste bin. “You know who it is from. You can tell him I said no, I’m not accepting his apology.”

………………………………………..

Yonghwa brought her to  Piazza della signoria.  It was a solemn night as they sat side by side by the Fountain of Neptune. It was supposed to be romantic, with the night sky filled with stars, but the mood wasn’t.

Seohyun was silent after Yonghwa finished with his story about Shin Hye, his first love. Her tears were running nonstop down her beautiful face but she didn’t make a sound.

Yonghwa sighed. Does he seek absolution, revealing this sad chapter of his life to the woman he presently loves? Maybe. But when Seohyun looked up and met his stare, he knew it wasn’t what he was going to get.

Her eyes were filled with anger. “What do you think of me? How could you think so little of me? How could you think that I couldn’t understand if you told me? How could you?”

They were back to square one.

She took a deep breath before she continued. “I couldn’t understand it now than I would have ten years ago. You said you did that because you didn’t want to hurt me whenever you go with Jiyeon while I was your girlfriend. And yet you left me. Did you even think how hurt I was when you started avoiding me and making me believe that it was Jiyeon you loved all along? Did you ever think how broken I was when you told me that everything was a game to you?”

“I was wrong,” he said softly. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know, Yonghwa. I wanted to understand and forgive you, but I just feel so hurt right now,” she told him, her voice breaking all over again. She stood up and ran away.

“Hyun! Seohyun! Where are you going?” he ran after her.

He caught up with her on the side walk. He held her by the shoulders, trying to stop her.

She struggled. “Let me go!”

She pushed him away from her. “I hate you,” she sobbed.

“Let’s go back to the hotel,” he said calmly.

“No!”

“Hyun, please. We don’t know the place and it’s getting darker. As mad as you are with me, please, don’t get yourself in trouble. I couldn’t forgive myself if something bad happens to you.”

“I’m going back alone. Don’t follow me.”

…………………………………………

Krystal saw Yuri entering the building. She stopped, a bit surprised when she saw Yoo Ah In, the actor who was Yuri’s fiancé. ‘Was’, or maybe it’s already ‘is’? Are they back together? She doesn’t need to be told. Because Yuri held the man’s hand and she was smiling. They were both smiling. They are definitely back together.

Krystal’s thoughts suddenly turned to Minho. Is he okay? First, it was Seohyun. Now it’s Yuri. She was suddenly worried. She just found herself punching numbers on her phone and calling him.

“Hello?” he answered on the first ring.

Upon hearing his voice, it felt like a bucket of cold water was poured on her. She put off her phone. Why is she calling him? She shouldn’t care about him now. Serves him right for wanting women who don’t even care for him. Serves him right for spiting her when she had loved him. She thought about the flowers he sent. It was not the last one she had received from him. Every day after that bouquet with the “I’m sorry” card, she would find a red rose on her desk. Her resolve was already beginning to melt, then she found out about this…maybe Minho was finally paying her attention because Yuri had left him and has already went back to her fiancé. She felt bitter.

I hate him.

………………………………………..

I hate him.

Seohyun thought as she burrowed her face on the pillow. Her tears and sobs wouldn’t stop. Her head and eyes were already aching from crying too much.

She felt sorry for Yonghwa when he lost his first love just like that, she truly did. But she felt sorry for herself, too. Just because he had been hurt before doesn’t give him the right to hurt someone, too. It doesn’t give him the right to hurt her. No matter what his reasons were, he had hurt her and she can’t seem to get over it.

Seconds…minutes….hours passed. She didn’t know how long she had been lying there. She raised her head and looked up at the small clock on the side table. It was already dawn. And Yonghwa still wasn’t back. He didn’t follow her back to the hotel when she told him not to. Seohyun didn’t know where he went.

She reached for her phone. No matter how angry she was at him, she still felt worried. She looked at the screen of her phone and saw several missed calls. All were from Yonghwa. Then she saw a message.

I know you got to the hotel safe, Seohyun. I saw to it that you did. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be back, even if you wouldn’t want to see me anymore. I’m just giving you time alone to think. I hope you would find it in your heart to forgive me. I love you and I don’t want to lose you again.

His message tugged at her heart. She loves him, too, but she doesn’t trust him anymore. At one crisis he had chosen to stay away from her. He could do it again if another one occurs. And she would get hurt again. She doesn’t know if she could bear it a second time.

She lay back on the bed, crying all over again. This marriage was based on manipulation. And she doesn’t trust Yonghwa. Their relationship was no better than before. How could it work between them if there is no trust? It would be better to end everything early than to waste each other’s time.

……………………………………

Yonghwa carefully opened the door and tiptoed into the bedroom. A light shone from a lamp on a side table, and fragments of light came from the city outside, creeping into the bedroom through the glass windows.

He saw her on the bed, unmoving. He slowly went closer to the bed. She was lying on her side, her eyes closed, her breathing slow and steady. She was already asleep.

Through the small light in the room he could see her face. She looked like an angel. He smoothed the strands of hair from her face, careful not to wake her up. The tips of his fingers brushed through her temple and he felt that it was wet. It was wet with tears. His heart ached. He didn’t want her to cry again. He didn’t want to hurt her anymore. He had promised himself that he will make her the happiest woman on earth. But how could he do that when every time he tried, he just hurt her without meaning to do so? How could he set right the mistake ha had done ten years ago? Is it too late? Is the damage between them already irreversible and irreparable no matter what he does?

“I love you too much, Seohyun-ah,” he whispered to her sleeping form. “And if letting you go is the only way to stop myself from hurting you, I would do it.”

A tear escaped from his eye as he kissed her forehead.

……………………………………….

Incheon International Airport

Seohyun silently trudged behind Yonghwa, pulling her luggage. Neither of them spoke from the hotel in Italy until the whole duration of the flight to Korea.

The morning after he revealed his past to her, he had woken up and saw Seohyun all dressed and packed up.

“I’m going home,” it was the last sentence she spoke to him.

“I’ll go with you,” he had said. She didn’t protest, but she didn’t answer either. It was their last conversation.

Seohyun looked at the screen of her phone as she heard it ringing. The caller ID told her it was Kyuhyun. Her other best friend. She suddenly wanted to talk to him. She just wanted to be comforted by him now. She knew it was unfair for him, considering how he felt for her. She loves someone else and she is married to that someone else.  But for once she wanted to be selfish. Is it just once, or had she always been selfish and inconsiderate to Kyuhyun?

She took the call.

“Hello, oppa.”

She saw Yonghwa turning to look at her. She ignored him.

“Yes. We’re back…Yeah, I know, but Yonghwa has work to do…”

Yonghwa acted nonchalantly, but he was listening to her.

“I missed you, too.”