I was a mess that night. Naeun kept asking me whether something was wrong and everytime I told her that I was okay she didn't believe me.

I wanted to talk to someone about Kim and the things he had told me but I didn't know if that was a good idea. If I thought that Kim was strange and possibly crazy then I didn't want to know what other people might think of him. Or even of me, for all that matter.

Although Naeun tried to keep me to my promise that Baekhyun, her and me would all hang out tonight I told her that I'd rather just go to bed early. She seemed upset, but I tried not to let myself feel too guilty about it. I wasn't feeling well and actually just wanted some peace and quiet. That's why I had turned my phone off earlier, too.
I was kind of hoping that Baekhyun wasn't in the room so I'd have it to myself, but I found him sitting at our desk, typing something into his phone. When I opened the door he looked up and smiled at me, but it vanished quickly when he noticed my expression.

“Hey, Taemin-ah. Did something happen?” he furrowed his brow and turned the chair so he was looking at me. I just shrugged and let myself drop on to my bed. Once I had stuffed my face into the pillow I could hear Baekhyun's voice only muffled but I figured that he was still checking whether I was alright.
I didn't feel like talking much and so I took my time replying. “Not a good day.” I mumbled into the pillow. “Don't wanna talk.”

“Alright?” Baekhyun sounded even more worried now and when the mattress dipped down next to me I knew that he had come to sit down with me. “Are you sure you don't want to talk? I don't want to brag but I'm a pretty good listener.”
I smiled a little bit into the soft fabric that was pressed against my face and thought about it for a moment. Even though I had only met Baekhyun about a week ago I felt like he was a person I could trust … almost like a big brother. The way he had always texted me during the week made me feel special and cared for, like he enjoyed my company. And so I decided to tell him.

“I think my best friend might be crazy …” I sighed and turned my face to him. There was a pout forming on my lips and my eyes started to burn – even on my way home I had cried a lot but my tears didn't seem to end anytime soon. “He told me his story and … I think he's insane.”

“Alright … what did he say?”

“He …” I sighed again and brought a hand up to rub my cheeks. “He told me that he's from Pyongjang …”

“That's not …” Baekhyun furrowed his brow. “It's strange, but not crazy. Don't worry.”

“He said he came to Seoul in 1950.” I added quietly and gulped. “He … he's around my age … I don't know why he'd say something like that … I mean, it's not possible.”
Baekhyun stayed silent, even when I closed my eyes. After a while I felt his hand on my shoulder, obviously in an attempt to calm me but it didn't really work. “What's your friend's name?” he eventually asked. “Do I know him?”

“No.” I answered. “His name …” I hesitated. “When I first met him he told me his name is Kim, but today he said his real name is Kim Jonghyun …” I stopped there, I didn't really dare to tell him that me and him always met at the grave of a boy with the exact same name. It must have been a coincidence, anyway.
“How did you meet him?” Baekhyun asked with a soft voice and smiled a little at me. Something about his presence calmed me down a lot. It was like he always knew what to say and do to cheer me up.

When I told him that we had met on a graveyard Baekhyun chuckled and said that it was quite an original way to meet. At first I thought he was being sarcastic but apparently he meant it in a good way.
He asked me so many questions about Kim and, although I was a little concerned about everything that was happening, just talking about him made me smile and feel a little better. When I talked about his habits and our conversations I felt a warm feeling spread in my chest and the tears that had come up in my eyes had already disappeared. For some reason Kim managed to cheer me up, even when he wasn't around. Although he was acting strange.

“You really like that boy, don't you?” Baekhyun interrupted me eventually and chuckled a little. He seemed amused. “I mean, more than just a friend … don't you?” I blinked and looked up at him.

That thought had occurred to me, of course. I had thought about whether I liked Kim a little too much, whether I was actually falling in love with him … if I was falling in love for the first time in my life.
But I just couldn't believe it. I had never been in love with anyone, I didn't know what it felt like and didn't know how to act. I didn't feel like it was possible for me to feel anything but friendship for him … although my heart was planting doubts in my mind.

“I don't know …” I eventually admitted and buried my face in the pillow again. “I just … he means a lot to me, but … maybe not like that. I've never liked someone like that, anyway.”

“I see.” Baekhyun said with a soft smile on his face. I glanced up at him, my cheeks burning. “Take your time, Taemin-ah. You don't have to rush your feelings.”
I blinked and didn't really know what to make of that. I had no idea what was going on between Kim and me, anyway. Especially not because I felt like he had just lied straight into my face with his crazy story. “Just know that I am here for you if you want to talk.” he added after a silence had spread out between us. He seemed to understand that I just wanted some peace and quiet and went back to his desk in order to continue whatever he had been doing earlier. I watched him type for a couple of minutes before I decided to go get ready for bed.

As I was standing in front of the mirror, brushing my teeth and looking at my reflection, I noticed that eyebags had started to form from all the crying I had done today.
I just couldn't understand why the boy that I had chosen to be my friend was strange enough to try and convince me that he had been alive in 1950. Why didn't I just choose someone normal, someone who was from Seoul and liked sports or something? Just someone that wouldn't throw me off track like this.
If Kim really was alive back in 1950 then there were only a couple of explanations that would explain how that would be possible. He was either much, much older than he looked … or just utterly insane. I tended to believe in the second one more though. And, although I knew that it was absolutely impossible, I thought that Kim might have been a ghost … but I tried not to get too into that one. Everyone knew that ghosts didn't exist, after all.

When I climbed into bed and pulled the covers over myself I heard Baekhyun close his laptop.
“You don't have to stop because of me.” I said quickly and looked at him. “I'm just sleepy.”

“Me too, don't worry.” he assured me and looked at me over his shoulder. “I'll just get ready for bed. I have a therapy session first thing in the morning.”
I sat up a bit when I remembered. Tomorrow would be my first therapy session with Mr. Cho … because I was not in clinic during the week they had put all of my sessions to the weekend instead. My mind was starting to wander, I tried to imagine what a therapy session would be like. I had heard a lot about it on TV and in movies, but I imagined it to be completely different in real life. I imagined Mr. Cho to be an honest, down to earth kind of man who wouldn't judge me, no matter what I said … that was how it should be.
By the way I was staring at the wall in front of me Baekhyun must have figured that I was confused and smiled at me. “I'll show you Mr. Cho's office tomorrow, no worries. He's nice, I heard.”

“Mhm.” I just muttered and turned to lay on my side. I still wasn't sure what to think, do or even say. Everything just seemed strange and so foreign to me. And so I eventually just decided to go to sleep without saying another word, although I could still hear Baekhyun talk to me for a little longer.



*



The next day came and greeted me with the same headache I had had the day before. Although I had slept well I could still feel my temples burn and my thoughts running through my mind restlessly.
Kim's face kept coming up in my mind and his words were stuck in my head. On top of that I couldn't forget his, supposedly, real name. Kim Jonghyun. He must have been joking, though. There was no way that he was the same Jonghyun as the one who's grave we always met at. Kim was very much alive, after all.

When I fought my way up to my feet and took a look around I frowned a bit. Baekhyun was not in his bed, instead he was laying in mine, right next to me with his back turned to me. By the way his shoulders were moving up and down I could tell that he was still asleep.

“Baekhyun …” I muttered and nudged him gently. I noticed how his arms twitched and how he hugged his pillow tighter. “Wake up … why are you in my bed?” he muttered something about wanting to sleep for five more minutes and by the way his hand came up to push his hair further into his eyes I couldn't help but to chuckle. He didn't seem like his age at all.
It took me a while to even get him to stir, but after a while he blinked an eye open, looked at me through his fringe and mumbled a croaky “Morning …”.

“Morning.” I greeted him and leaned onto my elbows. “Why're you in my bed?”

“Couldn't sleep.” he replied and closed his eye again. He sounded like that was a valid reason for him to just climb into someone else's bed. “I felt like I needed someone in bed and since my girlfriend isn't here …”

“Right.” I said and glanced at the pictures of him and his girlfriend on the wall. It still freaked me out a little that his girlfriend was so much younger than him.
“I just figured you'd be okay with this.” he added casually and sat up, his slender fingers in his hair. I gasped a bit when I noticed that he was completely under the covers. I didn't say anything though. I didn't want to sound like a kid. Maybe this was how the older kids did it?

We didn't really talk a lot while we got ready, but the silence that had spread between us wasn't awkward or heavy at all, it felt natural as we were standing in the bathroom, washing up and getting ready.

“When are you going home?” Baekhyun asked me as we were on our way to the cafeteria.
“Monday afternoon, I guess.” I replied, not really sure of the answer myself. If I was honest with myself I wouldn't mind staying at the clinic. “I'm living with my uncle, but I'm thinking about moving back in with my parents.”

“Didn't your parents want you to stay at your uncle's?”

“I don't want to stay there anymore.” Baekhyun must have caught up on the bitter tone that came with my answer because he stayed silent from then on. We sat together in the cafeteria and ate our breakfast, completely ignoring all of the people staring and whispering at us. I had enough worries for today. I had to wonder about Kim's secrets, what to do about the situation with my uncle … I didn't have time to ponder about Baekhyun's secrets at the same time.

“Say, do we have time off after the therapy session?” I asked him while munching on a waffle. Baekhyun looked up at me, gracefully eating his yoghurt, just like he did every morning.
“No, we have lunch, group therapy, dinner and then there's free time.” I rolled my eyes at his answer and leaned back in my chair – so I had no chance to sneak out to the graveyard today. “You want to go see your crazy friend, don't you?”
I choked on my food and looked down. My heart had pretty much skipped a beat upon getting caught like this. “It's not–“ I blinked and blushed a bit at my reaction. “I mean, he's probably not crazy … or maybe just a little.” I rolled my eyes and put down my chopsticks. “I mean … even if he's crazy … I feel like I still can't stay away from him … he's my only friend.” I gulped and avoided to look up.

Why I was thinking like this right now was a mystery to me, I couldn't explain it. While I had been quite convinced that Kim had some issues just yesterday I felt like it didn't matter all that much suddenly. For some reason, right now, all I cared about was to protect my friendship.
“I don't want to lose him.”

“Well, you changed your mind fast.” Baekhyun snorted, but the smile that was spreading on his face made it obvious that he enjoyed the way I was being right now. “I'm so curious about that guy. You think I could meet him?” I blinked at his request, my lips slightly parted and arms crossed in front of my chest. “I mean, if it gets awkward I'll just go take a walk around the graveyard,” he added and continued to eat, “and leave you two to it.”

“I …” I couldn't help but to smile a little at him. Just the fact that he asked if he could meet Kim meant the world to me. That he cared for the people I spent time with, that he showed interest in my life was more than my family was giving me these days. It made my heart thump in my chest. “Of course you can. I'm sure you'd get along well.”
Baekhyun looked up and gave me one of the smiles that usually made all the girls in the hallways giggle. “Thank you, Baek.”



*



My first therapy session started off well and for a few minutes I thought I might not completely hate Mr. Cho after all, but it turned around quickly.
The first twenty minutes I had just told him about myself, my family and my two friends at the clinic, Naeun and Baekhyun. It was actually nice to talk to someone who knew when to nod, when to smile and when to ask questions. Mr. Cho seemed nice and his deep voice had a soothing effect on my nerves. However, when he eventually asked me why I thought I was here at the clinic my mood darkened and I felt how I tensed up.

“I think … I am here for no reason.” I told him. I was probably pouting, but I didn't try very hard to hide my emotions. “My brother convinced my family to send me here. He thinks I'm imagining my best friend.”

“Who is your best friend, Taemin-ah?” Mr. Cho asked with a soft smile on his face. I could see my reflection in his round glasses when he leaned forward to see me better. “Our Baekhyun?”

“No, his name is Kim.” I said quickly. My heart felt heavy in my chest and I was starting to chew on my bottom lip. “He's my best friend. I met him,” I hesitated, “at my grandma's funeral.” Mr. Cho nodded and wrote something down on his little notebook. He asked eventually: “So he's the son of one of your family's friends?”

“Yes.” I lied. The more I lied the faster I was getting out of here. “He's my Mom's friends' son.”

“I see.” Mr. Cho continued to scribble on his notebook. “Your uncle told me when your mother found you on the graveyard after the funeral you were alone?”

“Yeah, he left early.” my eyes were wandering and looking anywhere but at his face. I had always been a terrible liar so I figured it would be best if I just avoided looking at him altogether. Because if I told him the truth I was never ever getting out of here. “But I'm meeting him a lot these days.”
Mr. Cho just nodded and looked at me. If I hadn't known any better I would have bet that he was waiting for something out of the ordinary to happen. For me to give up that I was lying, that there was more to the story than what I had told him. But I wasn't going to give in.

And so I spent the entire hour of my therapy session telling him about Kim's love for music and the color black, about how he used to have a sister and that he was kind of a philosopher with his little outbursts about the meaning of life and life after death.
By the way Mr. Cho's expression had changed I could tell that he was waiting for me to go into more detail, waiting for me to spill Kim's secret … but I wouldn't.

Even if I had my doubts concerning Kim, I wouldn't allow anyone to take him away from me.



*



The group therapy turned out to be one of the most depressing things that I had ever experienced. Listening to everyone talk about their problems, their concerns and all those things that were undoubtedly real … I felt like such a stranger between them, knowing that I was nothing like them.
The fact that Baekhyun was not with me only made it worse for me. Since he was older than me he had been put into a different group, leaving me to myself for now. Although she was the same age with me, Naeun was also in another group – apparently because she and the therapist in my group didn't get along.

I just sat there and listened to everyone, not really sure what to do when it was eventually my turn. Everyone was looking at me with big eyes, waiting for me to spill my secrets and tell my story. I hesitated before I opened my mouth and introduced myself.
The therapist had told me that I could take my time telling my story and that's just what I did. I told them about my name, my family background and how I had made friends ever since I had come here. But I left it there and just told them that I wasn't ready to tell anything else yet. And unlike Mr. Cho, the therapist here told me that it was absolutely okay and that I could try again next time. I just nodded and thanked her for understanding.

After that I had to listen to my group's therapist telling us how to be confident and happy in daily life, followed by her giving us a speech about trust, the power f imagination and so on.
I didn't really pay attention though and just left as quickly as I could once she dismissed our group.

Dinner followed soon and I found myself sitting at a table with Naeun and her friend who didn't see to enjoy talking to anyone but her. Thus, after a few failed attempts of trying to talk to her I just gave up and talked to Naeun about school instead. She told me everything I missed and constantly tried to get me to tell her where I had gone to the day before. Of course I didn't let anything slip though. I was careful not to reveal anything. And so, as far as Naeun knew, I had studied geometry all day and she eventually had to give up asking questions and went back to having conversation with me and her weird friend. I couldn't help but to smile a little to myself everytime she had tried to get me to tell my secrets. It felt rather nice to have something worth protecting.



*



Once the weekend had passed I felt more than just a little restless. Kim never left my mind and his story just wouldn't leae me alone. I was thinking about it all week and was slowly going crazy because of it. I knew that if I wouldn't get any explanations soon I was going to go mad.
That's why I decided to skip school the next day and to visit Kim on the graveyard instead. I had to talk to him.

“Baek?” I put my math homework down and looked up at him. A sigh left my lips as I pondered about how to ask what I wanted to know. “Do you think ghosts are real?”
Baekhyun looked up, a surprised expression on his face. “Why?”

“Just … what do you think?” I avoided looking at him – he must have thought that I'd gone completely crazy now. It wasn't difficult to figure why I was suddenly asking, he knew everything about Kim and his story, anyway.
“I think,” he said after a while and gave me one of his winning smiles, “that nothing is impossible.” I furrowed my brow and looked back at him. He had already returned to his book, but the smile that was spread on his lips spoke for itself. Baekhyun's advice was for me to go and talk to Kim, he was all over our friendship and, if I wasn't mistaken, he would love it if I admitted that my feelings for Kim were stronger than I'd like to admit.

I returned to my homework and stayed silent for a while, thinking about Baekhyun's answer. Usually I'd said that such things as ghosts must be impossible, but I had also thought that me finding friends was impossible … and no-one had ever confirmed that ghosts weren't real, so who was I to judge what was real and what was not?
On top of that, the only way to find out for sure was for me to go out and investigate myself. Meaning that I had to confront Kim about it. Who else could tell me the truth but him?



*



When I woke up the next morning and got ready to take the school bus I was more than just a little surprised to find my uncle waiting downstairs at the reception. He wasn't wearing his suit like he usually would for work, but instead he was dressed in ripped jeans and a casual shirt where he had, apparently, ripped the sleeves off himself.
When he saw me he smiled and gave me a hug once I was close enough. “Good morning!” he said, a little too cheerfully. “Did you sleep well?”

“What are you doing here?” I ignored his question and just looked at him. I was starting to feel irritated by his attitude.
“Picking you up.” he replied as if it was obvious. “I thought you and I could take a trip today.”

I raised my brows and looked at him in surprise. Not only that I couldn't believe it, but I couldn't find a single reason as to why we should do that … not to mention that I was surprised that he'd actually skip work for me like that.

“A trip.” I repeated. The receptionist smiling at me only made me more uncomfortable. She had a reputation of delivering bad news. “Why?”

“Because.” Kibum leaned down so that we were on the same eye level. “I just want to spend some time with my favorite nephew. And I think we really need some time to ourselves.”
I didn't really reply for a while. The last time he suggested a trip I ended up in a clinic for mentally ill people. What if he'd push me off a cliff just because he thought I was nuts?
“I thought about taking a trip to the amusement park.” my uncle added a bit hesitant and when I looked at him I noticed a hint of guilt in his eyes. “You always loved Lotte World when you were younger. Remember how you always rode the small rollercoasters with me and the bigger ones with Jinki?” a smile spread on his lips when I nodded and by the way he started poking my arm I couldn't stop myself from smiling a little, too. When I asked him whether I could really skip school like that he just shrugged and wordlessly handed me my jacket – and, of course, I didn't need to be told twice to skip school.

Definitely not.



*