The week went on and on and didn't ever seem to end. I spent the days at school, usually by myself, although Naeun would sometimes hang out with me in class. At night I was always home with my Jinki since Kibum was usually at work or at some business meeting. However, the tension between me and Jinki and especially my uncle was still there. They knew I was angry at them.
My Mom and Dad sent me messages everyday, telling me to stay safe and that they loved me so much. I didn't really bother much about them though. I knew they cared for me but they were just to show it.

What upset me the most was the fact that Taesun never called or texted me. I would have expected a bunch of messages and calls from him. I wish he would try and get in contact with me so that I could ignore him. Because, as it was right now, I was ignoring him and he didn't even know. The thought that maybe he was waiting for me to get in touch first had crossed my mind, but I was refusing to give in to that. He had betrayed me, not the other way around.

Another thing that never left my mind was the fact that I hadn't had any time to go to the graveyard to see Kim again. I had started to miss him despite our argument last time and despite the fact that he had really disappointed me. Sometimes I was thinking about skipping classes to go and meet him, but I knew I couldn't do that. If I did my parents would freak out and might even send me away to the clinic for good, without me being able to come home during the week.

All the days were normal, except for Thursday night. I was doing my homework, just like always, when something strange happened. I was sure that I had closed the window earlier but when I looked up after a while of staring into my books I found it to be opened. I figured I made a mistake and turned back to my books, but almost screamed when I found Naeun standing next to my desk.
Her hair was braided into a ponytail and falling over one of her shoulders. She was still wearing her school uniform and her bag was in her arms. She looked a little strange, her expression was unreadable to me.

“What the hell are you doing here …!” I whispered quickly and put a hand over my thumping heart. “How … how did you get in here!?”
She just blinked at me, then gestured over at the opened window. I followed the way she looked and then looked back at her. I was more than just a little confused – she was supposed to be back in the clinic, not in my room at my uncle's house and certainly not in the middle of the night.

“Did something happen?” I then asked after a while and put my book and pencil down. “Why are you not back at the clinic?”
Naeun opened to say something, but no sounds came out. For some reason her eyes suddenly got teary and she looked down. I widened my eyes and was about to speak up again when she wordlessly put her bag down and hugged me. I was completely frozen and just looked down at her. When she started to cry I got even more confused and didn't know what to do. I felt her shoulders trembling and noticed how she pressed her face against my shoulder.

For a moment I thought about breaking away from her and demanding an explanation, but I decided not to. It wouldn't change the fact that she had climbed into my room through the window and obviously needed some help and comfort. And so I eventually stood up from my chair and hesitantly put my arms around her. Her chest was pressed against mine and I felt how she let out a relieved breath. One of my hands was resting on her waist, the other one on her back and that's how I stayed for a long time.

After what felt like ages Naeun finally stopped crying and very slowly broke away from me. Her eyes were reddened and a bit puffy now. She didn't let go of me completely and continued to hold onto my shirt.
“I … sorry …” she muttered quietly and looked down. “I just didn't want to go back to clinic … and … and you're the only one I know who is home during the week …”

“It's okay.” I smiled a little at her and was really glad that she seemed to be okay now. “What happened though …? Why were you crying?”
She pouted and continued to avoid looking into my eyes. “I … had a fight with my friend.” she then mumbled and shrugged. “We were talking and I told her about the clinic … she called me a freak and said we cannot be friends anymore …”
I furrowed my brow at her and tried to get a look at her face. For a moment I didn't say anything but then told her to forget about that girl. “Friends don't judge you. If that was her reaction to you being in a clinic then she's not worth your time … I promise.”

“Really?” Naeun mumbled and glanced up at me through her eyelashes. “She's my best friend and … I mean … who else would go to a clinic but a freak …” she gently gripped my shirt and started fiddling with the fabric.
And, to be honest, I didn't know what to do or what to reply. Deep inside I felt the same way and wondered whether I was a freak, too. I thought that everyone in our clinic was a freak in some way as well – they must have been.

“What does it matter.” I eventually said and shrugged. “You can stay here until tomorrow … and then we'll take the bus back to the clinic in the evening …” I thought about how Baekhyun had invited me to hang out tomorrow once I got back. I actually wanted to have him all to myself, but, considering the state Naeun was in, I would have felt so bad not to invite her. And when I actually did invite her to join us she seemed really happy and said that she'd be more than happy to come with us.

We had sat down on my bed and were silent from then on. She seemed to have cheered up a lot just by me asking her if she wanted to join us and I felt more than happy about that. It gave me the feeling that I was looking after my new friend well.
After a while of just sitting there in silence it started to get a little awkward though and so I told her that I was a bit tired by now and asked where she wanted to sleep. I offered her to sleep in my bed while I slept in the living room, but she refused that. I gave her one of my shirts and snuck into my uncle's room to get one of his sweatpants. My pants were all too small on her although she was naturally really skinny.

She thanked me for everything and then left to the living room in order to sleep, leaving me to myself in my room. I turned back to my desk once she had closed the door and thought about abandoning my homework just for tonight. However, although tonight was a special situation there was a voice inside of my head that told me that I could not not do my homework – my teacher would call my parents if I didn't hand those stupid papers in by tomorrow.
And so, even though I really didn't want to, I sat back down and continued working on my physics problems.

The only sound in the room was the clock ticking and me occasionally writing down something. I wanted to listen to music, but I knew that it would only distract me. I needed to focus in order to finish these tasks fast. It really worked and I managed to solve half of the problems within less than an hour. I felt like I was on a run and was actually not too sad about having to work on it. But I was interrupted.
Just when the clock showed that it was getting close to two in the morning I heard the door to my room open and when I turned around to check who it was I blinked when I saw Naeun standing there, the pillow I had given her in her arms.

“Are you okay?” I asked and put my pencil down.
“I …” she blushed and I noticed how she avoided looking at me. In fact she was looking everywhere except me. “I can't sleep …” she then mumbled and I couldn't help but to find her cute when she put her hands on her cheeks to stop herself from blushing even worse. “Can I sleep here …?”
Although I had shared a bed with a girl before I blushed, too and felt my heart flutter, a feeling that I had only experienced with Kim up until now. “Uhm … sure.” I replied and watched her as she reacted quickly and closed the door behind herself. I didn't pick my pencil up again but got up instead and started turning off the lights.
“Sorry.” she mumbled and sat on my bed. She looked a bit awkward, sitting there by herself. “I don't mean to be annoying …”

“You're not.” I replied and smiled a bit at her. “It's okay, I can understand …” I tidied up my table a bit and tried to find an explanation as to why I was so nervous with her around. “You have a roommate, right?”

“Of course, Oh Hayoung. Don't you?”

“I do.” I nodded slowly and put my books into my bag. “Byun Baekhyun.”
She gasped in a rather cute way and when I looked back at her I saw her eyes widening. “The new boy? With the blonde hair?”

“Yeah. Why?” I raised my brows. Once all of my stuff was put away I sat down next to her and offered her my blanket.
“He's really cool …” Naeun said and slowly laid down. Her brown eyes were sparkling. “I heard that he won many singing competitions, is that true?”

“I … don't know.” I watched her out of the corners of my eyes as she laid down and smiled a bit when her hair spread over the pillow. “Maybe. We didn't really talk much about … well, him.” I took my time before laying down myself and when I did I could feel my heart thumping in my chest. It only got worse when I noticed how she her side to look at me.
“Thank you for letting me stay here …” I took a deep breath to try and calm myself a bit before turning to lay on my side so I could look at her. “Really, thank you.” her cheeks were a bit pink and her plumb lips curled up into a gentle smile.

“You're welcome.” I replied. My eyes were fixed to hers and my cheeks felt like they were on fire. When she giggled a bit I couldn't explain why I suddenly started to think about Kim. For some reason his smiling face suddenly appeared in my thoughts and I could hear his laughter instead of Naeuns.

For some reason I suddenly wished for Kim to be here instead of Naeun and I couldn't understand why I was thinking about her and then about him all of a sudden. I felt like my thoughts were all over the place.

“I'm sorry …” she then said after a while in which we just looked at each other. “I mean, if I didn't treat you well in the past … I know I wasn't good to you sometimes … I'm sorry. I'm glad you're my friend.”

“I'm glad, too.” I agreed and smiled back at her. “It doesn't matter now. It's the past.”

“Yeah … the past.”
The athmosphere became more relaxed from then on and we spent a long time just talking to each other after I had turned off the light. I didn't know how I ended up holding her hand as we fell asleep, but I knew that I didn't mind it one bit. Although my thoughts were mostly with Kim and his laugh and his gorgeous smile I knew that I enjoyed this moment right now with Naeun, too.

Having friends felt wonderful and was a much stronger feeling that I would have ever expected.



*



The next morning was a little awkward and a little difficult to explain to my uncle who had come to my room in order to wake me. He had let out a yelp of surprise when he pulled the blanket aside and found Naeun curled up to my side, her long hair hiding her face a bit and her hand still laying in mine. He listened to me muttering an explanation and an apology before he just mumbled something to himself and left the room with the door open.

“Morning …” Naeun mumbled sleepily. Her eyes were only halfway open and her lips parted. I returned that greeting and stretched a bit after having let go of her hand. She stayed down for a few more minutes.
“I'll go shower.” I told her and smiled a bit when she just let out a cute groan. I left her to herself and went to see my uncle who was in the kitchen first. “Hyung?” I called out and walked over slowly. My voice was low and I had my arms crossed in front of my chest. “I … should have asked you if this was okay first … right?”

“Yes, you should have.” Kibum agreed immediately and looked at me with a frown. He didn't seem to be seriously angry, I figured he was just trying to show that he was the adult in this home and that I shouldn't make any decisions without consulting to him first. “It's okay if your friend wants to stay here, but I would really appreciate it if you asked me first.”

“Alright.” I answered shortly. My lips were pursed and I felt more than just a little uncomfortable with what I was going to say next. “I'm sorry.” those were the words I actually wanted to hear from him, from Jinki and, especially, from Taesun. But it seemed like they didn't think there was any need for them to apologize.
Kibum looked at me and didn't say anything for a long time before just smiling and giving me a reassuring nod as if to say that it was alright. He turned back to the stove where he was busy making breakfast, mumbled something about needing more rice and then left the kitchen to get some from the bucket on the balcony.

I couldn't help but to appreciate the way he was not mad at me. My Mom would have kicked her out right away.
I went back to my room to get a towel and saw Naeun still laying in bed, some of her hair falling off the edges. She was busy texting someone, so I didn't bother telling her to get up and to get ready.

Once I had closed the bathroom door and found the noises my uncle made in the kitchen muffled I took a deep breath and leaned back against the wall. It was relaxing to be alone with my feelings and thoughts right now as I hadn't really realized how I had pushed them back ever since Naeun had just climbed into my room. And now that there was some quiet surrounding me and the sound of water pouring from the shower I noticed how my thoughts all trailed off to Kim.
I started thinking about his smile again, about the way he always laughed when I tried to be funny and the way his hand always moved up to touch his nose whenever he was thinking about something.
 

For some reason Kim was everywhere in my daily life and he was even starting to appear in my dreams sometimes, so I couldn't help but to wonder why he was always, always, on my mind.

I had had friends before him, but none of them had ever occupied my mind quite as much as he did.

Once the shower water was hot enough I stripped out of my clothes and let out a sigh when the water started running down my hair and back. My eyes were closed and I tried not to let Kims face come into focus.

I really couldn't deny that I missed him. Even though I hadn't seen him for a while now it was getting more and more difficult not to think of him or to miss him. Being angry with him was getting more difficult, too. Although I still couldn't quite shake off the disappointment that was making my heart ache.

As I was showering and rubbing the soap over my body pondered about whether I should skip my math class this morning in order to go to the graveyard and talk to him. Naeun could cover for me and tell the teacher that I was at the public library, at the doctor's or something like that so that I wouldn't get into as much trouble.
Skipping class would mean I could see Kim, but on the other hand it meant that I would miss the lesson that my teacher had promised to use to help us prepare for the upcoming exams.

For what felt like ages I was just standing there with shampoo in my hair and my toothbrush in my hand. My gaze was fixed to the tiled wall. I was trying to decide whether to listen to my heart and to go to the graveyard or follow my mind and go to school.

Just as I felt like I was getting closer to deciding I heard my uncle knock and telling me to hurry up and that breakfast was ready. I didn't reply to him, still a bit reluctant to even talk to him and finished my shower in record time. As I was drying off I started to hum my favorite song and tried to picture the music video in my head in order to get rid off Kim. It didn't really work though. The way he always leaned his head to the side when he didn't understand something was always something I had found cute and for some reason it just kept coming back to me right now.

Naeun and Jinki were sitting at the kitchen table when I entered the room, talking to each other. She had her long hair tied up in a ponytail and was already wearing her school uniform.

“Good morning, Min.” Jinki greeted me and smiled a bit at me. By the way his smile was crooked I could tell that he was not sure how to act around me yet. He seemed unsure whether or not I was still angry with. “Did you sleep well?”
I didn't reply and just grabbed a bowl of rice from the stove. I could feel his and Naeuns eyes on me, but I refused to speak up. The chair made a loud noise when I pulled it back in order to sit down and the silence that spread from then on was cold and uncomfortable – but I didn't mind, this situation was not my fault anyway.

The breakfast was spent in silence from then on and even Kibum couldn't make the athmosphere better. Especially not when he announced that he was going on a business trip this weekend and had no time to visit me in the clinic like he had actually promised a few days ago. He apologized to me over and over again, but he was met with silence from my side. I looked at him as I was eating but didn't speak which eventually led to him letting out an annoyed sigh, cursing me and leaving the kitchen.

“Min …” Jinki spoke up once my uncle had slammed the door behind himself. “Give him a break, he really means well.” I just shrugged in response and didn't listen when he continued to try and explain why Kibum was a great uncle and why he was treating me like this.
The situation just got more and more uncomfortable from then on, out of the corner of my eye I could even see Naeun shift uncomfortably in her seat. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I just got up and left the kitchen. Jinki sighed when I left but didn't come after me. I heard Naeun thank him for letting her stay the night and soon found her by my side as we left the apartment.

She was nice enough not to ask any questions until we were already on the bus. But the question she asked me was not the one I had expected: “Where is your bag?”
I blinked and looked down at my hands just to find them empty. It was just then that I noticed the familiar weight of my school bag on my back missing. Apparently I had forgotten it.
“Home.” I replied simply. When she opened to tell me that I should go back to get it I quickly said “It's okay” and leaned back against the window of the bus. “I don't really want to go to school now, anyway …”

“You mean you want to skip class?” her eyes got round and she blinked at me. “Why? What's wrong?”
I hesitated, unsure whether I should tell her the truth. She was my friend, I figured I could tell her where I wanted to go and why, but something was holding me back. Maybe I was worried she wouldn't understand or would also think I was crazy. “I want to go to the public library to study.” I decided to lie and forced a smile. “I feel like I can concentrate better there.” I didn't even have to look at her to know that she didn't really believe me. “Can you … uhm … tell the teacher, please?”

“That you're skipping class?”

“No, that I'm at the library.” I avoided eye contact and instead focused my eyes on a spot right next to her ear, hoping she wouldn't notice.
“Just …” she sighed softly and pouted up at me. Her cheeks were a little red and she had her arms crossed in front of her chest. “Come back when classes are over? You said we'd take the bus back together.”

“Of course.” I said without hesitation and nodded. If I didn't catch the bus I would have to call Jinki to drive me and I really didn't want to ask any favors of him right now. “Don't worry. I'll meet you at the school gate after class.” when she still seemed skeptical I held out my pinky finger and promised it to her when she linked her finger with mine. She seemed a bit more reassured and got off the bus when we reached our school's station. It was just that moment that I realized how lucky I was that both, the library and the graveyard had their stations after our school's, because if I had gotten off earlier it would have probably been suspicious.

I sighed softly as I watched her leave and as the bus continued driving. Some people were looking at me with their brows raised, probably judging me because I was young and already skipping classes but I didn't care – at least not a lot. I noticed an old woman giving me a weird look when I got off at the graveyard's bus station and even heard how she made a comment about today's youth to some other passenger.
The graveyard's rather old guard looked at me and smiled at me when I nodded my head at him. He probably remembered me from the last time I came here, because this graveyard never really had a lot of visitors.

As I was walking through the rows of the graves and past all the memorials I unconsciously picked up my pace. My heart was racing in my chest and I fiddled with my shirt – I was getting more and more nervous as I got closer to Kim Jonghyun's grave. I wondered whether Kim would really be there or not and what he would say once he saw me.

Would he apologize for last time? Or would he expect me to apologize to him instead?

My mind was going crazy and imagining all sorts of things to happen once I saw Kim.
I saw him yelling at me, him apologizing to me, him not even being there and, the one that caused my breath to get caught in my throat, him walking up to me with a smile on his face and hug me.

Once the small tombstone came into sight I forced myself to stop imagining scenarios and tried to focus on the conversation that was inevitably going to come now. Kim was, to my biggest surprise, standing at the tombstone, facing me. He looked the same as always, but his skin was a little paler than usually. When he set eyes on me a smile appeared on his face and he seemed to be relieved to see me, he even let out a sigh.

“Hey …” he said in a soft voice. “I'm glad you're here.”
My heart skipped a beat when he tilted his head to the side. I had never really noticed how handsome he looked. “Hi …” I replied quietly and tried hard to maintain eye contact although it was difficult to do so. “I … yeah … me too.”

“I thought maybe you weren't going to come back … because of the way I acted last time …” he sighed again and looked down. I glanced down at his bare feet and then at his hands. “I want to apologize … I can't expect you to have them believe you are crazy when you are obviously not.”
I blinked and just looked at him for a while without saying a word. Although I had imagined this kind of scenario it was still a surprise somehow. My heart was thumping in my chest but, for some reason, there were butterflies in my stomach.
“I hope you can forgive me.” he added when I still hadn't replied after a while. He was glancing at me through the hair that was falling into his eyes. “I value our friendship a lot … I know it's impossible, but I really do.”

“… impossible?” I raised my brow and looked at him. “What's impossible?”
Kim seemed a bit caught off-guard that that was the thing that caused me to speak up. He had frowned and touched his nose as he thought. “Just … I …” he seemed to think really hard and I figured that I questioned something uncomfortable for him, or something that he hadn't wanted me to catch up on. “Nothing, don't worry. I don't know why I said that.”

“… you can tell me.” I insisted and crossed my arms. Instead of butterflies there was a knot in my stomach now. I was getting a bit annoyed with him and it didn't help much when he just stuttered something about not having meant what he said. I didn't say anything to him as he muttered his excuses, instead I just stared him down until he said: “It's difficult to explain. You wouldn't understand.”

“Try me.” I felt like we had this conversation before and couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes. “Why are you always so mysterious? I don't get it. We are friends, right? You can tell me anything … I told you so much about myself, you know me much better than I know you.”
He looked at me for a moment and then sighed. “Yeah, I guess so.” for a moment no-one said anything, but then, after a while, he just sat down in the grass and looked up at me. I didn't realize he wanted me to join him for a long time, but when I did he smiled again and leaned a little closer so I could hear him.

“I'm Kim.” he said and chuckled a bit. “I was born on the 8^th of April. In my free time I like to sing and compose …” he thought for a moment and bit his lip. “I had a sister when I was younger, but she died.”

“What happened to her?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. The fact that this might be an uncomfortable topic for him did occur to me, but my words were out before I could take them back. And when I was about to apologize he had already continued speaking.
“It had been a rough time back then, there was a lot of crime going on and there were people all over the place … one day there had been a burglary in the house we lived in, the situation was really chaotic and one of the soldiers that had come to help mistook my sister for the culprit …” he sighed deeply and looked down at his lap. Even though I could guess what had happened it still made my heart ache when he said: “He shot her.”

None of us said anything for quite a while. I didn't know what to say or what to do.
Would it be appropriate for me to touch him or even give him a hug?

“I'm sorry, Kim …” I eventually said. My words seemed a little lame, but the smile that spread on his face, even though it was faint, showed me that he appreciated it. “How old was she …?”

“Sixteen.” Kim replied and slowly looked back up at me. “She was lovely, really. I miss her so much.”

“I can imagine …” I fell silent again and just fiddled with the grass I was sitting on. Usually I didn't feel a lot about other people's miseries, but my heart ached when I saw the sad expression on Kim's face. The way he was looking at his hands and didn't seem to have the strength to speak at the moment made me want to reach out my hand and hold his – but of course I didn't.
We sat there in silence for a long time until he spoke up again and continued telling me about himself: “My parents died, just a few weeks before my sister died … a bomb had been dropped in our neighborhood, our house caught on fire and my parents were still inside.” he sighed heavily and looked down again. “It was a rough time back then … we were on the streets, had nothing to eat or drink and no place to live … we stayed with my sister's friend for a couple of days, but when the soldiers found us they chased us away.”

“… I … I am so sorry …” I had my brow furrowed and looked at him worriedly. “Really, I'm sorry …” I bit my lip. My words didn't seem to be enough for what I wanted to express. Although I was more than confused I could feel how sad and upset he was because of all that had happened to him.
And so I decided not to speak for a while and to just let him go on, if he wanted, once he was ready to.

It took him a while, but when he did speak again I could feel the warmest of all smiles appear on my face.
“Thank you, Taemin-ah … For listening, I mean. It means a lot to me.”

“I kind of forced you to talk, so …” I mumbled and let out a soft chuckle. The tension between us had eased a little and I felt a little closer to him after hearing this part of his story. However, there was still a part of the things he told me that made me feel a little strange. “But … you're from Korea, aren't you?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Which part are you from?” he looked really adorable when he furrowed his brow in confusion. His plumb lips were forming a pout, but he didn't reply. “I mean, how come there was a bomb dropped on your house …? And how can it be that a soldier shot your sister? I think Korea is a peaceful country, isn't it …?”

Kim looked like I had just slapped him across the face. His brow was furrowed even deeper and he had tensed up. If I hadn't known any better I would have thought he regretted admitting that he was Korean. He started staring at nowhere and even when I asked him whether he was okay he didn't react. His hand was rubbing his nose, just like always.
“I'm from Seoul, you know.” I eventually offered in an attempt to pick up the conversation again. “I grew up near Gangnam district.”
Kim stayed silent and gave no sign that he had even noticed me speaking and so I decided to just give him time to figure out whatever he was thinking about.

For what felt like ages we stayed silent.
My eyes were glued to him, I was looking for any sign of whatever was keeping him so busy right now. He was always a little strange, but this behavior right now was even weirder than usually. The way he kept his hand on his nose showed me that he was thinking – thinking hard.

“If I tell you where I'm from,” he slowly said, apparently he was choosing these words really carefully, “will you promise me not to freak out?”

“… I promise.” I crossed my arms and stared at him. I was way beyond curious now.

For another minute Kim still didn't speak. Despite my promise he seemed worried, almost frightened. I was mentally preparing myself for any kind of city that I had heard bad things about, any city that might or might not be strange to people who were from Seoul, like me. But, when he did tell me, I figured that nothing could have prepared me for this kind of truth – it was too shocking.

“I'm from Pyongyang.”

Silence spread out between us all over again. My jaw had dropped and my eyes were widened – I would have expected so much, but this was beyond my imagination.

“Pyongyang?” I repeated a little breathlessly. “But … how?”
Of course I didn't know much about politics, I didn't have that subject in school yet and I had no interest in it either, but I know very well that North Korea had all borders closed and that no-one could leave that part of Korea.
“And … and if you're from Pyongyang, then how come you're here now? In Seoul?” I blinked repeatedly and felt more confused than I had ever been before. I just couldn't make any sense of this. “How did you get here?”

Kim had his eyes fixed to the floor and was fiddling with his fingers. It was obvious that this was not the reaction he had hoped for, but was probably the one he had expected.
He allowed me to ramble about how I thought he might have left his city and smiled a tiny bit as my theories and stories got crazier and crazier.

“I came to Seoul because I thought it would be safer than Pyongyang.” he cut me off once I had reached a story where I pondered about whether he had hidden himself in someone's suitcase. “Back then the borders weren't closed. Of course they were guarded, but we got in through a forest. Took us ages to get to Seoul …”

“The borders weren't closed?” I gasped. There were so many questions lingering in my mind now and I was dying to get answers to all of them. “When did you get here?“

“… it's been a while.“ he admitted. He rubbed his nose all over again and looked anywhere but my eyes. “I don't really remember the year.” when I noticed his voice starting to shake a bit I could tell immediately that he was lying. I crossed my arms and stared at him as he was sitting there, on the grass with his legs crossed. He seemed to be absolutely serious about everything he said, but I couldn't believe that all of this was anything but a joke. It must have been some other strange habit of his.
There could have been no way that he crossed the border thanks to a forest …

“Listen, Kim.” I sighed heavily and closed my eyes for a second. “I appreciate you trying to give me some sort of answers to my questions, but … I can make up stories by myself, I really don't need you for that.”

“Make up stories?” Kim raised his brow again. He even let out a chuckle this time. “I'm not joking. After my family died in Pyongyang I decided to run.”

“There's no way you walked to Seoul.”

“But I did.” he furrowed his brow again and looked a little hurt as I didn't believe him. “When I came to Seoul the city was a mess, just like my homecity. But there were parts that were kind of safe, so I went into hiding and–”

“A mess?” I cut him off and made a face at him. “What do you mean, a mess?”
He had frowned again once he realized what he had just told me. The expression on his face made it obvious that he couldn't believe that he had, once again, told me too much. Apparently he regretted starting this conversation.

“Just forget what I said.” he eventually mumbled. “I just–”

“When did you leave Pyongyang?” I was getting a little tired of his excuses. “And when did you arrive in Seoul?”

“I don't remember.”

“I think you do.”
Kim rolled his eyes and ran a hand in his black hair. He seemed frustrated with both, this conversation and situation. However, the things he had said were out in the open now and I definitely expected explanations.
“Taemin-ah, please.” he raised his hands and scoffed a bit when I glared at him. “Even if I told you, you wouldn't understand.”

“Try me.” I twas my turn to roll my eyes now. I didn't want to have this conversation once again. “You can tell me. What's the worst that could happen? I certainly won't hate you or anything.” I rambled on about that nothing would change, this was just a minor detail in his story, I thought. The time he told me was not one I could have guessed or prepared myself for though.

“1950.” he cut me off eventually. The expression that appeared on his face had gone from upset to worried and I noticed how his hands were folded in what looked like a praying motion. “I crossed the border in March in 1950 …”
All my movements had come to a stop and I was just blinking at him, now absolutely lost with my thoughts and expectations.

I was actually starting to thing that it would be best for him to go to a clinic, not me.

“My parents died in winter in 1949 and my sister got shot in 1950, a few days before I ran away from Pyongyang …” Kim continued after a short while. The air around us felt heavy and I found it difficult to breathe as I listened to him. “The war was so terrible and I was really young … I didn't know what to do or where to go. I had stayed with my sister after she got shot, but met a group of refugees a while later. They told me that the situation in Seoul was much better than in Pyongyang and that I would be safe there and could find a new home … so I joined them. None of them knew that Seoul was just as bad as our city.”

I was just looking at him in silence and listened closely. A part of me wanted to laugh, hoping that he'd join me and tell me that this was all just a stupid joke. But when I smiled a little I found that he was absolutely serious when he just stared at me with teary eyes and a stern expression.
An uncomfortable feeling was spreading through me and before I could stop myself or think better of it I said: “I think you're the one who's crazy.”, put my jacket back on and got up. I was just about to turn away and leave when Kim called out: “My real name is Kim Jonghyun, you know …”

I hesitated before looking back at him. I didn't really make anything of this new piece of information and just focused on his desperate eyes and trembling bottom lip. A part of me wanted to stay, but my mind was screaming at me to run, that this was just crazy and that Kim might be dangerous after all.
In the end I just nodded, gave him a lost look and then left the graveyard as fast as my feet would allow it. And before I even knew it I was already on the bus with tears streaming down my cheeks and people giving me weird looks.

What, exactly, had just happened?



*




Sorry for the huge delay, but my Dad came to visit me in China and I had to spent all my time with him, of course. I hadn't seen him in six months ^^

Anyway, I hope this chapter is good. It contains so much important and way-giving stuff ... let's see what happens between these two next, hm~ I would appreciate comments, upvotes ... just any sign that you like this story and would like another chapter! ^^

Thank you for reading!!~