I woke up the next morning to my uncle shaking my shoulders. I was blinking sleepily and found him leaning over me with a smile on his face. The look in his eyes was very calming and I could feel his fingers run through my hair.
“Time for school, Min.” he cooed. “Breakfast is done already.” I whined a bit about not wanting to get up and rolled onto my side so my back was turned to him. When I mumbled something about wanting to sleep for five more minutes he chuckled and shook his head. Before I knew it he had emptied half a glass of water over my head which caused me to shriek and jump up.
“W-Why!?” I asked loudly. My voice was whiny and drunk with sleep. “Wet …” I added. By now, Kibum was laughing at me and told me to hurry up already. I didn't feel like it at all, but when the water dripped down my back I knew that I didn't have another choice.

Once I was washed up and dressed into my dark blue school uniform I sat down at the kitchen table where Kibum was already waiting for me. He was holding his newspaper and a mug of coffee in his other hand.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” I noticed the teasing tone in his voice and glared at him – when I had been little I had always wanted to dress up as sleeping beauty for Halloween … since then people would tease me about it. “Sit down and eat. We gotta leave soon.” I just nodded and did as I was told. He had made soup and rice for breakfast and watched me as I ate. Something seemed to be on his mind and when I asked he hesitated only for a short moment before asking: “Where were you yesterday? Jinki said you went out in the morning and that he had to call you in the afternoon because you didn't come back.” before I could even reply he started lecturing me though. “You know exactly that the streets aren't safe for young boys like you. Especially not if you leave without telling us. We're not your parents, but that doesn't mean you can just run off as you please. On top of that –“

“I went to the graveyard, okay?” I cut him off. I knew I sounded annoyed, but didn't really care. Years ago there had been an incident in which I swore to myself never to lie again. And so I wouldn't lie now, either. “I went to see Kim.”

“Kim?” Kibum frowned and looked at me. His expression had darkened, he even put the coffee mug down. “Min … I told you to forget about that … 'boy'.” the way he enhanced boy made me angry, but I tried not to let him notice.

Kim was a real person … he existed. And he didn't deserve to be called like something unreal.

“He's not a 'boy', Hyung. His name is Kim.” I crossed my arms and legs and stared up at him. “Don't talk about him like he's an object … or not real.”

“He isn't real, Min, that's the point. We talked about this. You said yourself that there is no, well, evidence that he was there, with you. Obviously you imagined him.”

“Why are you so keen on making me think that I imagined him?” I knew I started to sound upset. “He's real. And I'm meeting him again on Sunday.”
Kibum just looked at me and let out a sigh. He didn't seem to know how to react to me acting like this. Usually he couldn't refuse me anything, but this time he seemed torn. Obviously he didn't like the idea of me seeing Kim again, but on the other hand he had always hated turning me down. “Taemin-ah …” he said after a few minutes had passed. He wasn't looking at me directly, instead he glanced at his newspaper and coffee mug and took a sip before continuing to speak. “I don't think that's a good idea. Even if Kim is real, you shouldn't hang out with some stranger.”
I immediately whined and looked at him with an upset expression. “But he's not a stranger, Hyung! We're friends! You just can't understand …”

“Stop it now, Min. To me he's a stranger and as long as you're with me and Jinki we are responsible for you. So if anything happens to you we're at fault. And we would never forgive ourselves if that happened. Please try to understand.” I just looked at him, not batting an eye. Me giving in was not going to happen. “We are concerned for you, don't you understand?” Kibum went on. “Jinki and I just want you to be safe. You're still young and think you know everything, all kids your age do. But sometimes you need to trust the adults. And that boy you met might not be good for you … especially not if you just imagined him. He could all be part of you dealing with your grandmother's death so he will vanish once you're okay again.” I didn't reply and just continued to look at him without replying. “If you get too attached to this vision of him, then you will be devastated once he vanishes.”

The reason why I was being so stubborn over my friendship with Kim was something unclear to me.

I only knew that I didn't want to lose him.

And so I fought for him.

In the end, I left the apartment and refused to let Kibum drive me to school. He was hurt, I could see it in his eyes, but I ignored it. After him lecturing me I had felt upset and hurt myself and I didn't intend to just let him get away with it. I had told him off, had said that he didn't have a clue what real friendship was if he tried to keep me from it and then just stormed off. I didn't know how he was gonna react tonight, when I would come back home, but right now I didn't really care either. The only thing that was on my mind right now was that I didn't want to see him and didn't want to listen to his lectures.

And thus, before I even knew it, I was standing in front of my school. There were a lot of people heading inside already, some of them were looking at me and snickering, but I tried not to bother too much about them. I stayed by the school gates for a while and eventually decided to text my older brother, Lee Taesun.

From: Lee Taemin
To: Taesunnie Hyung

Msg.: Hyung, this is Taemin. I need to talk to you as soon as possible. Can you pick me up after school?

I didn't receive a reply until I was already sitting at my desk in the classroom. His reply was, as usual, short.

From: Taesunnie Hyung
To: Lee Taemin

Msg.: I can't, Min, I'm sorry. Maybe next week.

And with that I knew that the conversation was ended. He was always like that.
Lee Taesun, the pride of my family and favored by everyone who knew me and him. He was tall, handsome and very skinny. I was, too, but for some reason everyone thought he picked it up a notch – probably because he was seven years older than me.

I took a look around my classroom and wondered why I hadn't decided to skip today. My classmates were annoying, the lesson was always boring and I hated taking tests every period. It was becoming more and more difficult for me to attend classes everyday, to sit alone during lunch and ignore the people that made fun of me for being by myself. The thing was that I was not alone because I wanted to be, but because I was somehow not able to really make any friends. No matter what I did, I was always that one kid that was left alone. Even though I had tried to sit with others during lunch, tried to talk to people when there were group projects and just tried to get close to someone, I was always rejected and I couldn't explain why – maybe it was just the way I was , the way I looked or spoke … I really didn't know for sure.

As I was just sitting there by myself, watching my classmates I soon found myself too bored to continue. I turned my head and looked out the window instead. It had started raining by now and the temperature in the classroom seemed to drop by the minute. Since there was no heater in our class I put on my jacket soon and just waited patiently for the teacher to come in at last.
However, just like usually, I was not granted to have a peaceful morning.

“Hey, loser.”
That voice was already so familiar to me that I didn't have to look up to know who it was. So instead I tried to act as casual as possible and took out my notebook. Before I could even grab my pen I had the muscly hand on the pages and an angry voice asking whether I hadn't heard him. I sighed and looked up slowly. “I heard you, Leeteuk.”

“Then why didn't you reply.” he smirked down at me and chuckled when I shrugged. His brown hair was falling into his eyes and I could see his usual follower, Sungmin, over his broad shoulders. “What do you think you're doing?”

“Uhm …” I blinked and looked up at him, then down at his big hand on my notebook. “Reviewing my notes?”

“Wrong answer.” when Sungmin chuckled at his words I glanced at him. “You're about to take new notes.” and with that he grabbed my notebook and, without saying any more, started to rip out all of its pages. I didn't even bat an eye though – I knew it would get me nowhere to protest or to try anything to stop him … and there was no way anyone would help me. And so I just watched as my favorite book fell apart, watched the pages falling to the floor and just let out a sigh when he dropped the remnants down on my table.
There was nothing I couldn't have said to him now. If I opened my mouth he would beat me until I couldn't speak anymore … he'd done it before. And so I just got up and started to tidy up the mess he made. My heart was aching in my chest and my eyes were teary, but no-one cared. And once the teacher came in the whole class sat down and the lesson began while I was still trying to tidy up the mess of papers.

Although I tried to focus and find at least something interesting in this lesson, there was nothing. It was, like always, very boring and I soon found myself having trouble concentrating.
Instead of focusing on the lesson I noticed how my thoughts were with my uncle.

My uncle … whom I had gotten so angry at because he had worried about me.

I sighed and fiddled with the pen in my hand – I couldn't really decide whether I had been wrong or not … I had only wanted to protect my friendship, was that really that bad?



*



The day went on and didn't get much better. During lunch I ran into the usual bullies, had my tray taken from me and my bag emptied into the nearest trash can.
Of course no-one had helped me and when I had been on my way to class not even Naeun, the girl from my English class who I always worked with, said hi to me.
And when I had gotten a bunch of homework by the end of the day I had already decided that this was one of the worst days of this year.

What made everything even worse was that it started to rain when I left the school building with all my books in my arms and my homework in my backpack. I saw all my classmates rushing off to their parents' cars, take out their umbrellas and run to the bus. I started to feel bad for being so rude to my uncle this morning – usually he would come to pick me up, but today he probably saw no reason to do so.
For a while I just stood there and waited – a part of me was hoping for him or for Jinki to show up – for something to happen or someone to talk to me. But, of course, nothing happened and so I soon stepped out into the rain, trying to protect the books from the rain under my jacket.

The street was slippery and the air was cold, I felt like winter was approaching much faster than the past few years. And so I had my hood pulled into my eyes and kept my gaze fixed to the floor in an attempt to escape the heavy rain. I didn't even care ab out the people I ran into or the puddles I stepped into. All I knew was that I really wanted to go to the graveyard right now.

I wanted to see Kim right now.

I needed to tell him about my awful day, needed to see his smile and needed to hear his voice.
I knew he wouldn't look at me weirdly or make jokes about me … he wasn't like everyone else, he was special.

However, just as I was about to cross the street to head to the graveyard and find him there I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard someone call my name. Just as I looked to the side I realized, with a wave of relief wash over me, that it was Jinki in one of the cars. He had the window rolled down and was looking at me with a slightly worried expression as he called my name again.
“What are you doing?” he asked loudly over the sound of rain and the traffic. “Get in, quick!”
Of course I didn't hesitate. I hurried onto the street, dodged the other cars and hastily climbed into the back. My books dropped onto the seat next to me with a thud and I felt some raindrops drip down my neck when I pushed my hood off of my head. I was just about to relax when I heard Jinki start to nag. “I was waiting for you in front of the school!” he sounded a little angry. “I came to pick you up! Where were you!”

“On my way home …” I mumbled and just shrugged at him. I knew I was pouting and making a face, but I didn't care. “How could I know you'd pick me up …”

“Kibum and I always pick you up!” he replied quickly. Whether it was on purpose or not, he started to drive faster. “I was really worried! Please, do me a favour and give Kibum a call. Tell him you're okay.” he picked up his phone and handed it to me, but I didn't take it. Instead I looked at it and eventually just mumbled that he probably didn't want to talk to me anyway.

“Why would you think that?” Jinki asked as he put the phone in my lap. “Of course he wants to talk to you. He was so worried when I called him earlier.”

“I … I was a little mean this morning … I hurt him.” I noticed how my voice was quiet and soft, but I didn't bother to pretend I wasn't hurt by the incident this morning. Instead I leaned my head against the window and just watched the world outside pass me by. It was calming me somehow. My thoughts were so slow and heavy that it felt soothing to watch everyone else outside running to catch a bus or just get inside some play warm.
Even though today had been a catastrophe it felt nice to know that right now, this moment, was alright.

“Hey, Min?” Jinki asked after a while. He was smiling when I looked up, his eyes fixed to the road. “What do you think about going to the diner and you tell me about your day? Just like old times.”
I couldn't help but to smile – when Kibum and Jinki had just started dating Jinki had often taken me to that diner in downtown to talk to me and win my heart over with burgers and ice cream. He knew exactly that my parents and Kibum never allowed me to eat those kinds of food, so he took that opportunity back then and it worked. However, ever since they got married last year he never really had enough time to take me out to that place, so, if he was bringing up that offer now there was no chance I wasn't going to take it.



*



“So … altogether … it was awful.” I eventually finished talking about how depressing my day had been. “I hate my school.” I added, my mouth full with beef and cheese.
“I bet.” Jinki agreed and let out a sigh. “But your parents pay a lot of money for that school. And there is no space at the public schools in our area …”

“I can't go to any other school. I know. You told me.” I muttered under my breath and rested my chin on my palm as I ate. Jinki was looking at me, even while he drank his coffee. He had a concerned expression on his face and when he put down his coffee mug I couldn't help but to smile a little when he placed his hand over mine. “Don't worry. I'll live.” I added only halfheartedly when, in reality, I was not so sure about that.
“Should I talk to Kibum about those bullies?”

“What?”

“I could tell Kibum about the guys who bully you.” he held out the cookie that had come with with his coffee, just like he'd usually do it whenever we were here. “You know that Kibum is good with words. He could talk to your teachers and maybe those boys' parents.”

“Yeah … maybe not.” I just shook my head and looked down at my feet. I was bouncing them up and down continuously as I felt quite uncomfortable talking about this.
Jinki always tried to help me, but I didn't like any of his suggestions. Talking to Kibum was no option either, though, because I knew he would just be so incredibly worried and upset that I'd feel bad for making him feel that way. I didn't want to burden him more than I already was …
“Kibum Hyung is busy with work, anyway.” I knew that I had Jinki's eyes on me now we both knew that this was a sensitive topic to both of us.
“You know that Kibum has no other choice but to work a lot.”

“I know. I never said anything else.” I shrugged again, but didn't look up from my food. Behind us I could hear some people talking, some kids laughing and the waitress asking people if they needed anything else.
“Kibum really wants that promotion, Min, and it's his dream to–“

“I know, I know, okay.” I interrupted him. My hands were clenching into fists. “That's the excuse for everything.”

Jinki sighed and put his mug down. A long moment of silence followed in which we only heard other people around us talk, eat and play. For this moment time seemed to have frozen and none of us knew what to say. I thought that, maybe, Jinki knew that I was right. Kibum used his work as an excuse for everything – the times he forgot to pick me up from school, when he forgot his and Jinki's wedding anniversary, the times he forgot my birthday … or that time where he had slapped me because I had gotten on his nerves.
Of course I knew that he was busy, but not everything could be justified with stress. And although Kibum was one of the most heartwarming and best people that I knew, I just wanted him to put a little more effort into his family.

“Taemin-ah …” Jinki eventually spoke up. “You know your uncle loves you so very much. He'd do anything for you. And if you told him about those boys at school he'd do everything to make them stop and to make your life easier.”

“Make my life easier?” I chuckled a bit and finally looked up. “He could start by letting me see my friends.”

“Your friends?” Jinki raised a brow – he needed a moment to understand who and what I was talking about. “You mean that boy you met on the graveyard?” I just nodded. “Min … Kibum told me you just imagined that boy.”
And there it was again. That feeling inside of me that made me want to run away and leave my uncle and his husband behind. That feeling that made me want to cry and scream.

“Who is he to say that.” I then blurted out. I sounded much angrier than I had intended to sound like. “It's not like he was there when I met him.”

“Well, was anyone there?”

“… no.” I pouted. “He's my friend, it's enough if I meet him.”
Jinki stayed silent at my words and didn't speak up for a long time. Instead he just drank his coffee, ate his food and occasionally looked at me. I could see it in his eyes that he didn't really know what to say or do. So I expected a lot of words from him, all kinds of nonsense suggestions or lectures, but instead he said something I would never have expected: “Can I meet him?”
I looked at him, kind of expecting to see him showing me that he was joking. But instead he was smiling and holding out the cookie from his coffee again.
“If you are so crazy about him then he must be a great guy. I'd just love to meet him.”

I couldn't really explain why I suddenly felt so overwhelmed. I just knew that, right now, Jinki was the most amazing person to me.



*



Jinki and I agreed that, once the weather was better, we would go to the graveyard to meet Kim together. After he had asked me whether he could meet Kim I had started to talk about him for the rest of the dinner. He hadn't minded to listen to my stories of him. Instead he paid attention, smiled and made comments about what I said at the right times. When I told him how much of a discussion it was to get Kim to tell me his name Jinki had frowned, but then he had just accepted that.
Apparently, Kim had a secret that he was not ready to share just yet … even though I was dying to find out what it was.

When we entered the apartment that evening I could already feel that something wasn't right. The lights were all turned off, the windows were opened and there were no noise whatsoever.
“Where is he?” I asked. Just when I put my bag down I could hear Jinki sigh and didn't need any other explanation. “… of course, he's at work.” I pouted and just kicked off my shoes. “I'll go and do my homework.”
Jinki didn't say anything to that and so I just grabbed my books and hurried to my room. I shut the door a little louder than I had intended.

Of course I didn't study right away, I wasn't that kind of student. My iPod was already in my hands as I took of my uniform and changed into some comfortable clothes. I was listening to my favorite band's new song and could feel my heart beat fast and my eyes closing as I put in my earphones in order to turn up the volume. I stepped into the middle of my room and just started to dance. I wrapped the cable of my earphones around my wrist so it wouldn't get tangled up in between my legs and just danced fast and fiercely with my feet practically flying over the white carpet.

Dancing like this, as fast and powerful as possible, always made me feel much better. I felt like I could forget my troubles for a while and just move. Just shake off my worries and forget about my uncle, my busy and overprotecting parents and my brother who rarely ever had time for me.
Just for a couple of minutes I could leave the bullies in school, the mountains of homework and bad scores behind and just do what I loved doing, but what my family didn't approve of – dancing.

I felt like I was flying as I moved to the beat of one of my favorite songs, I loved the feeling of my feet moving over the carpet so smoothly, but, as usual, my session was interrupted.

Jinki had come into the room with a small tray of food in his hands. He was smiling a little, but in his eyes I could see that he didn't like the sight of me dancing again. With a heavy heart I stopped moving and pulled out my earphones. I wordlessly sat down at my desk and put my iPod into the closest drawer and closed it. When Jinki put down the tray and handed me my mathematics book I blinked when I heard him sigh.
“Min …” he said quietly. “You know we don't really approve of your dancing.”

“I know.” I mumbled and tried not to look up at him.
“And you know we all agreed it'd be best if you stopped dancing for good.”

“I know.”

“Good …” his hand was in my hair first, then I could feel his lips gently pressing a kiss to my forehead and then I heard him say something that was, unmistakeably, a threat: “You don't want me to tell your parents that you've been dancing again, right?”
I shivered and leaned onto him a bit when his hand was on my shoulder. “No … of course not.” I sighed and fiddled with the pencil in my hand. When he turned my chair around and gave me a hug I closed my eyes and held onto his shirt.
“Good. So, study hard, okay?” he broke away and smiled at me, then gave my cheek a kiss. “If you need anything just call me, okay?” when I nodded in response he smiled again and then left the room, the door was left ajar. I just stared at it for a while until I finally got over myself and decided to start with my homework. However, it was just one boring math problem after the next. My head was screaming at me to go to sleep, but I couldn't give in to that. Despite how little I cared about school I knew that, if I didn't do the homework, my parents would immediately assume that I was having problems and would probably send me to see someone.
And thus, I eventually stayed up all night, studying and doing my homework where most of my time was spent on maths and physics, just like usually. I hadn't really noticed how much time had passed until I felt a hand on my back, gently shaking me awake.

“Min, hey.” my uncle's voice was soft and gentle, he didn't sound as upset as he had sounded the day before. “Wake up. I made breakfast.” I groaned a bit before I opened up my eyes and looked at him. Kibum was already wearing his suit for work and his hair was now a hazel brown color – it was no surprise to me though, my uncle dyed his hair faster than I could blink.
When I sat up I unconsciously rubbed my face and couldn't help but to chuckle when I saw that, because I had slept on my notebook, I had some black ink all over my cheek. Kibum's gasp when he noticed it made me chuckle and I just smiled at him as he pulled me to the bathroom in order to wash it off.

“You studied all night, Min?” he asked and forcefully rubbed the washcloth over my cheek. “Did you sleep at all?”

“Yeah …” I mumbled. My hands were fumbling with the hem of my shirt and one of my eyes squeezed shut. “I slept enough, I think.”

“Are you sure?” he raised a brow and continued to try and remove the dirt from my cheek. “I know your parents don't really approve of it, but if you want I will give you coffee to school.”

“I'm good.” I smiled a bit and looked up at him. I found it a little difficult to be normal around him right now. There was no way he could not be angry with me right now, no way he could have just forgiven me for my rude behavior yesterday.
My hands were trembling a tiny bit as I was pondering about whether I could just touch my uncle or not. I wanted to make up with him and be just like usually, but I wasn't sure if he wanted to. He was so busy all the time, or at least he pretended to be, so me being rude to him must have been bothersome.

“I'll drive you to school today, alright?”

“… what?”

“I didn't drive you yesterday,” he spoke so simply that I believed he thought it had been obvious that he was going to do it today, “so I'll drive you today. It's raining, too. And your Dad will kill me if you catch a cold … again.”
I chuckled softly at his words and just looked at him. His hands were still working on my cheek and he didn't stop until it was spotless again. My skin was reddened, but he didn't seem to care. Instead he just pulled me up and looked at me for a while before wordlessly pulling me into a hug.
“I'm sorry, you know.” he said quietly and just held me close. “I didn't mean to upset you, make you angry or whatever … I love you. I'm just worried.”

“I know.” I said lowly. My hands were still trembling a bit. I wanted to hug him back, but for some reason I just couldn't. My eyes were watery. “I … I'm sorry, too …” I buried my face in his neck.
“I only want what's best for you.” Kibum then said. His voice was very soft and sweet in my ears, it was just perfect as he put his arms around me. “Can you forgive me?”

“Of course … don't ask.” I frowned a bit and just kept my face hidden from him. “Please forgive me, too …”

“Don't worry, of course I already forgave you.” his shoulders trembled a bit when he chuckled. “Everything will get better from now on, I promise.”
I sighed softly and just enjoyed the silence that broke out after his words. It was so comfortable to be held by him, and even when we broke away the moment was still perfect and kind of warm. He ran his hand over my shoulder and smiled down at me. There was an obviously relieved expression in his face.
“Hyung … can I ask you a favour?” I asked with a soft voice and bit my lip. When I noticed the worried look in his eyes I felt a little guilty. “Can you … you know … come and meet Kim with me? I want to introduce you to him …”
Kibum had frozen upon hearing my words. He looked like he couldn't believe what I had just said. But when I only looked back at him, obviously confused as to what the problem was, he just held me by my shoulders and spoke with a serious, yet gentle voice: “I will come and meet him, but under one condition.” he took a deep breath. “If there is anything fishy, and I really mean anything, then you promise me that you will not go to see that boy anymore, deal?” he raised his brows at me and held out his pinky finger. “Anything strange and it's over.” he repeated. A small smile spread on his face that was probably meant to be encouraging and comforting, but it just made me wonder what was wrong with him.

I just couldn't understand why he was determined to ruin my friendship. But, since I knew that Kim was very real, I had nothing to fear and so I linked my pinky finger with his and agreed.

I knew Kim was real and that Kibum would like him. I had nothing to lose and there was absolutely nothing that could have gone wrong.



*



Sorry for the incredibly long wait, but I recently moved to China and so I was really, really busy and, well, culture shocked. My Chinese lessons and new friends took up most of my time, but, well, I'm good now :)

Hope you liked it!

Thanks for reading!!~