“And the victory goes to the music club!”

Thunderous hoots and hollers filled the dining hall as Joonmyeon accepted the sum of money. He did a little speech although it was completely not necessary and frankly quite embarrassing but the crowd seemed to eat it all up.

He mentioned your name and gestured you over to small stage that was set up for performances. One of the counselors was visibly trying to kick Joonmyeon off the stage so that everyone could proceed with dinner, but the boy was just too overjoyed to notice.

You somehow convinced Yixing to go in your place and he was more than pleased to do it. He did his little ‘rock and roll’ dance when he got up there and you heard Jongin chuckle beside you, they seemed to be really close.

 A smile formed on your own lips as your eyes were focused on him. In the corner of his eye he could see that you were gazing at him and he immediately stopped smiling. His body language was once again distorted; his eyes dark and his gaze? Disapproving.

You could feel a lump arising in your throat; Jongin really wanted nothing to do with you. Every time you would try and speak to him, he would brush you off. Every time you smiled in his direction, he would look at you with his cold eyes and your heart would shatter all over again.

 Why was he acting this way, why did he hate you so much?

“____-ah did you see my ‘rock and roll’ dance?” your thoughts were interrupted. “Yes Yixing, it was cute.” you giggled, suddenly forgetting the escalating grief that was building up within you. “What about you Kai?” he questioned.

“Yeah, whatever hyung. Can we just eat now?” he grumbled, almost like he was a little bit jealous.

“What’s with you? You’re not jealous… are you?” Yixing taunted, his dimples making an appearance once again.

“What would I be jealous of?” Jongin retorted, his eyebrows furrowing in irritation.

“Well for starters, ____-ah just called me cute, then I made her giggle. So as you can see things are pretty serious between us.” He chuckled your way. “…And now it looks like she’s blushing.” He moved closer to you and inspected your face.

He was right, you were blushing. But it wasn’t because of Yixing; rather, it was because of Jongin. Just thinking of Jongin being jealous brought on a deep red blush to your cheeks.

Jongin was now shooting daggers at Yixing and the laughing boy couldn’t be more amused at the whole situation. “Is your jealous of the amount of that just came out of your mouth?” he stated, his neutral expression returning. Yixing continued to laugh his heart out while you stood there taken aback by their relationship.

So this is how he is around his friends?

You had never really witnessed Jongin interact with his guy friends before. Even in middle school, you almost never hung out with his friends, it was always just you and him and nobody else.

Jongin gave you one final look before walking away from the both of you. “Should we go after him?” you tried to ask the smiling boy.”Nah, he’ll be fine. Let’s have dinner shall we?” he placed a hand on your back and led you to the tables.

While you were eating, you noticed the table was uncomfortably quiet. Joonmyeon was sitting on your left side while Yixing, on your right. Jongin was sitting right across from you, although his eyes were fixed on his plate. Yixing finally broke the silence.

“So ___-ah, are you happy you guys won the paintball tournament?” he questioned. A smile formed on your lips as you nodded, you really were happy. “I’m glad you won, Joonmyeon was telling us earlier how much you wanted to win the prize so that you could invest it in the music club.” He smiled. You glanced over at Joonmyeon and he was avoiding eye contact.

“You knew how much I wanted the prize?” you questioned Yixing.

“Yeah, we both knew.” He waved his hand towards himself and Jongin. “Infact, during the game I took it upon myself to tackle any guy who came near you. Well, not tackle, more like sweet-talk” He winked. “Jongin was the one doing all the tackling.” He chuckled.

Jongin?

So that’s why he helped you out during the game. He knew how much you wanted the prize and he wanted you to win. You glanced up at Jongin and he seemed like he hadn’t heard anything that was just said, or maybe he just was trying to make it appear that way.

“Thank you.” you smiled. “Both… of you.” you emphasized. Jongin glanced up for a brief minute and caught your gaze, his expression softened for a short moment but then his eyebrows furrowed once again. A quiet sigh left your lips as you looked away. Suddenly, you felt Yixing place his arm around your shoulder and pull you closer into his chest. “You’re welcome ___-ah!” he burst out; completely impervious to the death stare he was receiving from the blonde boy.

Without warning, a loud screeching sound was heard as Jongin’s chair slid across the ground beneath him. He consequently shot Yixing another contemptuous stare then walked out the door. “Oh come on Kai-sshi! Have some fun for once!” he called out to the boy who had already exited the room.

You glanced down at your lap as another wave of grief washed over you. “He won’t have fun if I’m still here.” You admitted. “I’m the cause of his pain.” you bit down on your lip in an effort to swallow the tears that were forming in your eyes.

Yixing removed his hand from around your shoulder and inched forward a little so that he could get a better look at your face. “I highly doubt that.” He stated. The tone of his voice  far more serious than before.

“No Yixing, you don’t get it I-“

“Trust me, I get it.” He interjected. “Who do you think that kid came to when he was upset?” he smiled as your eyes widened.

“Yixing you-”

“Yeah. I knew.” He said, bringing his hand over your head to give it a light pat. “He’ll never admit it. But he’s acting this way for a reason.”

“What... reason?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “That’s something you’ll have to ask him yourself. There are some things a man won’t share with anyone, except for the one he loves.”

 “But… Jongin doesn’t love me anymore. I pushed him away. He hates me Yixing, he hates me.” You choked.

Joonmyeon placed a hand at your back and began moving it in comforting circles. You hadn’t told him what was going on, but for some reason it felt like he had already known.

Yixing clicked his tongue and shook his head. “For two smart people, you’re both quite stupid.” He stated.

Huh?

He began staring at you with intent and you couldn’t be more baffled. Yixing sighed then rested his chin on his hand. “When we were driving here, I had to stop for gas and I told Jongin I’d be right back. It took longer than I thought since I suddenly had to go number two… anyway. When I came back I saw that your head was on Jongin’s shoulder and his on yours. He wasn’t asleep; instead, he was watching you sleep.”

Your heart was beating more rapidly with every proceeding word.

 “He was looking at you like you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.  I was a little taken aback since I’d never seen Jongin like that; he seemed like a completely different person. Then, just as I was about to interrupt your little Kdrama session, he reached over and kissed you.”

For a second, you really felt like your heart stopped. Jongin did that? He really… did that? You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“So basically at that point I was fangirling too hard and I decided to give you guys your privacy.” He admitted. “When I came back 10 minutes later, you were both fast asleep.” He concluded.

“Yixing… why are you telling me this.” You finally questioned. He rolled his eyes and reached over to pinch your nose and you let out a little whine.

“Because silly! I’m trying to tell you that… well; I think it’s time you find that out yourself.” He smiled. He got up to his feet and reached his hand out to you. You hesitated at first but then took his hand and let him lead you to the door.

“It’s time you find out the truth.”

✥✥✥✥

Where is he, where is he.

You had been walking outside in pitch black for quite some time now, although your phone served as a flashlight, it didn’t really help all that much. The campground was so vast you weren’t sure where to look, but you knew you had to find Jongin, and fast.

In the distance you caught sight of a small bridge. The bridge had very little light as there was only a single street lamp illuminating the pathway. As you inched closer, you noticed the outline of a man leaning over the bridge and before you could even interpret the figure with your eyes, you already knew who it was.

“…Jongin.” It was merely a whisper, but he had heard you.

His body turned around to face the source of the sound and you realized he couldn’t see you since it was too dark. You turned the brightness up on your phone and made your way towards him.

He could see you clearly now.

“What are you doing here?” He scoffed. “Shouldn’t you be blushing at how ‘cute’ Yixing is?” he continued.

So he was jealous.

“No. I came to talk to you actually.” You stated, your confidence level rising gradually.

“I thought I told you that I didn’t want to talk to you? Do you not understand things the first time around?”

Your resolve was slowly crumbling, but there was no way you could walk away now. Things had to be settled between you two, whether he liked It not. “Why are you acting this way Jongin? Please, just help me understand.” You demanded.

“When I asked for the same thing, did you help me understand?” he shook his head, the pain in his eyes apparent. “No, you walked away. I waited for you to give me an answer. I would’ve been happy with even a no; I just wanted to see you. But, every time I tried to talk to you, you would make up some bull excuse.” He spat.

“Please Jongin, I was wrong. Please just talk to me-”

“I’ll see you inside.” He finished.

You felt your chest constrict, tears were threatening to fall and you couldn’t hold them back anymore.

“Or maybe you’ll be too occupied with Yixing. Either way, it’s none of my business who you see anymore.”

That did it.

A quiet sob left your lips as you forced your legs to stay upright.

“Jongin…” you whispered, your voice barely audible due to the crying.

His back was facing you and he was making his way back towards the building, you doubt he could hear you and you tried to raise your voice but the lump in your throat was restricting all sound.

“Jongin… ple..please. Don’t leave me again.” You tried to say, your voice pathetic and desperate.

“Please… Please...don’t walk awa…away Jongin.” You reached your hand out to him, but you knew it would never reach him. He was leaving, just like he left years ago. He was walking away, just like he did years ago.

Your best friend and the first boy you fell in love with was fading away in front of your eyes. In the past you never had a chance to stop him. But it seems like life gave you and him another chance, maybe you were destined to meet him again. Maybe you were destined to fall in love with him again. But, none of that mattered anymore. It was time you created your own destiny.

“I love you Jongin.” A sob left your lips.

He abruptly stopped walking and his body jerked.  He had heard you this time.

“I love you so much.” At last your legs gave out beneath you. As your knees sank to the ground, you weren’t sure if you were in a dream, or if this was reality. Everything was hazy.

The sobs were uncontrollable now; your body was shaking uncontrollably.

“I fell in love with you ever since that day at the park when we were both kids.” You cried, hugging your body in an effort to control the trembling.

“I tried to forget you Jongin. I tried to erase you from my memory. But I failed.” You weren’t even sure if Jongin was listening at this point, but you had no control left over yourself. “I somehow end up  thinking of you at the end of the day. If you’ve eaten, If you’re sleeping well, If your body is aching from those long dance rehearsals.” You were weeping hard and ugly now, it was a striking contrast with the forest around you that always remained quiet and collected.

“Even… even when I’m dating other people. I can’t stop thinking of your stupid face. It won’t leave me, it wont-” your words were cut short by another wave of sorrow that washed over you. “I’m so… helplessly in love with you Kim Jongin.” you broke down and covered your face with your hands.

There hadn’t been any sound coming from Jongin in a while and you assumed he was gone.

It was over.

It was all over.

Or so you thought.

After a few moments, you felt a hand gently caress your hair. You glanced up to see him and you couldn’t believe your eyes were witnessing the sight.

 Jongin had tears in his eyes and just before he opened his mouth to speak, a single tear made its way down his cheek.

He’s crying. He never cries.

“I’ve waited so long for you to say that.” he smiled, although his voice was filled with sorrow. Tears flooded your own eyes and you let them do as they wish.

Jongin then dropped down to his knees and pulled you into his embrace. The embrace you yourself had waited so long for was everything you’d anticipated to be, if not more. Everything felt unreal; his scent, the way you could feel his heartbeat, they way he was holding your body against his. If time stopped at this very second, you would be completely content.

For a while, neither of you had said a word. Instead, the two of you just sat there holding each other, feeling each other’s bodies connect as one. Then, Jongin shifted his body and his hold briefly loosened.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye.” He breathed.

He had already apologized for that and you hadn’t expected him to do it again. “No Jongin, I-”

“Leaving you… was the worst mistake of my life.” He finally admitted. Your eyes widened at his words, and you thought you had heard wrong for a second. “Truth be told, I didn’t say goodbye because I was scared of my own feelings. I was starting to fall for you and I knew that if I saw you, I wouldn’t be able to leave.”

You felt your heart drop to your stomach. Jongin had always felt the same way?

“What you said before, about me not being good enough you-”

“I didn’t mean that Jongin, I was just mad and-”

He chuckled. “No, I’m not resenting you for it. What you said is true, all this time I didn’t realize how much pain I was causing you. When I saw you on the elevator the night you moved in, I didn’t think things through. I didn’t apprehend what you must be feeling. I was selfish I’m sorry.”

“Jongin…”

“It’s true you deserve better. That’s why I thought that if I acted like you didn’t matter to me, then you’d finally understand that I’m not good for you.” he glanced down at your hands that were placed in his, then focused his attention back towards you. “I would’ve succeeded too, if it weren’t for these tears of yours.” He smiled, grazing his thumb over your soft cheek.

You let out a small giggle at his comment and his chuckles followed suit.

“Jongin?”

He hummed as he caressed the side of your cheek.

“We’ve both made mistakes in the past. However, we’re humans and humans make mistakes, that’s simply a part of life. But, the only way we can grow in life is if we-” you started.

“Learn from our mistakes.” He finished.

You nodded and smiled “Yes.”

He smiled and played with your fingers. “Will you… let me into your heart again?”

He was gazing into your eyes, anticipating the answer that would change both of your lives for years to come.

“You… never left Jongin.” You sighed. “You were always in here, safe within my heart.”

His eyes glistened for a second and you thought you’d never seen Jongin happier than he was at this very moment.

“I love you." He confessed, wiping away your fresh tears.

You sniffed, the smile on your lips unbreakable. “I love you too, Jongin.”

He reached in to close the distance between you two and planted a kiss on your forehead. The warmth of his lips on your skin made you shiver and you wondered if you could hold on any longer. He moved his lips from your forehead to your right cheek, then to your left. He ended with a kiss on the tip of your nose. Your body was wavering in his arms and you weren’t sure if it was because you were nervous, or happy. Either way, you enjoyed the sensation.

Jongin placed both of his hands on either side of your face and hovered around your lips. Before you could wrap your mind around what was happening, he reached in and pecked your lips. Your heartbeat increased conspicuously and your cheeks turned a light pink color. He pulled back for a second to look you in the eye, almost like he was asking you for permission. Then, when he felt you had granted him the right, he fixed his warm lips on yours once again. Still making sure not to open his mouth; as he just wanted to feel his lips against yours for the moment.

He pulled back again and tangled his hand in your hair.

“Don’t go on dates with other men from now on." he stated. Then, he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and pressed his forehead to yours. "You’re mine, only mine.” he whispered.

With that, his lips crashed into yours.

You felt your heart might give out at any second, the way his lips moves with yours was nothing short of magical. He was kissing you in a way that was making you see stars, everything about him was driving you over the edge.

 His tongue briefly made contact with yours and you pulled away, seemingly embarrassed.

“Sorry I-”

But before he could finish his sentence, you grabbed onto the collar of his shirt and kissed him again. His eyes widened before he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you back into his embrace.

Everything about this moment was dream-like.

You had created your own destiny.

And now, you were perfectly happy.

A/N:

Ahhhh! So they both finally confessed to each other, took long enough didn't it? Jeez. How was it? Was it exactly how you imagined it to be or better? Worse!? As always leave your comments and let me know :) 

Also, I know I told you that I’d be updating in a while but I suddenly started to feel bad because I know I as a reader get frustrated when the author leaves me hanging! Anyway, I might not update for a while (for real this time!) since I'm starting classes full time as of tomorrow. I hope you enjoyed this update and stay tuned for more. 

I hope that I can wake up for class tomorrow, see what you guys do to me! Just kidding, I enjoy falling out of bed every morning and scrambling for my things (okay, I don’t).

THANKS FOR READING :) BYE FOR NOW!