What.

What did he just say?

Your heartbeat began to escalate and you swear your knees were about to buckle. Did you hear that properly? Did Jongin just say he likes you?

Well then, say something.

You should say something right?

For Gods sakes! Speak up; tell him how much he means to you.

Tell him that as a young girl, you’d use your birthday wishes all on him. Tell him how much you needed him, how much you missed your best friend.

How those innocent feelings soon became something more serious. How much you grew to like him.

How you fell in love with him.

You’ve been waiting for him to say these words to you for so long and now that he has, why are you being a coward.

Use your voice, he’s right here. Just tell him.

But, you can’t, can you.

Your words were gone, the room as silent as the break of dawn. While the city sleeps, the only sounds that can be heard are the distant melodies from Robins and Blackbirds. Sometimes you wished you could be as expressive as a Robin, singing to her heart’s content.

“Say something” he whispered, interrupting your thoughts.

His eyes still looking deep into yours, it took everything in you to not jump into his embrace.

“I can’t.” you barely let out, the lump in your throat becoming increasingly difficult to bear.

Not breaking eye contact, you could see how his loving eyes were now full of sorrow.

His grip on your arms loosened until he was no longer holding you against the wall. The loss of contact broke you into pieces, but you couldn’t dare show him that.

 And just like that, you walked out and shut the door behind you.

Leaving Jongin by himself.

With shaking hands you unlocked your front door and stepped inside. Shutting the door behind you, you walked into your living room and sunk into your couch.

Be strong, please. You begged your heart.

Please, hold on, this is for the best. You continued. Tears beginning to sting your eyes, you scrambled for your phone.

Where is it, where is it.

It was lying under your textbooks and you grabbed and dialed the number of the one person you really missed right now.

“Omma.” You said, trying to hide your shaky voice.

“Yes darling?”

“I… I miss you Omma.” Your voice growing weaker with every word.

“Is there something wrong sweetie?”

“I just… wanted to hear your voice.” You lied.

“Is that so?” she giggled. “Even after all these years, you can’t lie can you?”

You managed to smile, albeit still keeping your tears deep inside you.

“Whatever the problem may be, I know my daughter. I know you’ll get through it, I know how brave you are my love” she smiled into the phone.

A single tear snuck past your barriers, sliding down your warm cheek.

“I love you Omma.”

“I love you too dear.”

✥✥✥✥

A knock on your front door woke you up from your nap and you glanced at the time; 1:20am

How long were you asleep?

Ignoring the dryness of your throat, you got up and sluggishly walked over to the door.

It was Cindy, with a bag full of things.

“Sorry I took so long, had to pick up the necessary materials” she said, holding up the bag you knew to be from the convenience store near your apartment.

She let herself in and spilled the bag onto the coffee table. “So, what happened.” She sat down on the carpeted floors and motioned you over.

You let out a sigh and rubbed your swollen eyes.

“I don’t know what I’m doing Cindy.” You let out, eyeing a strayed piece of string on the ground.

Her forehead creased as she tried to understand what you were talking about.

“Jongin… he said he likes me.” You let out.

“And? What did you say?”

“I just left; I left him there by himself. I left him hanging.”

She didn’t question why, she already knew.

“I’m so scared Cindy. He means so much to me that it scares me.” The shakiness in your voice was gone, but the pain was still fresh.

 “I’m scared that if I return his feelings, he’ll leave me again. He’ll leave like he did years ago, except this time, he won’t come back.” You were crying now, the hot tears washing over your rosy cheeks.

She moved closer and pulled you into a hug, rubbing comforting circles in your back with the palm of her hand every few seconds or so.

Ever since you were a young girl, you’d seen how relationships around you have failed. You still remember the night your father left you and your mom.

It was raining that day, the trees swaying lightly in the wind. You were waiting by the window for your father to come home so that you could show him the drawing you worked all day on.

You waited and waited.

But, he never came.

You always thought about the fact that he stood in an altar and took an oath promising to stay with your mother through the good and the bad. But when the bad really came, he wasn’t there.

Similarly, your first friend Sera who you would spend your summers with threw you away when she was done with you.

Even Jongin, whom you trusted more than anyone, left without a single goodbye.

This world was cruel.

And trust? It was hard to come by.

The most terrifying thing about trust was that it was so difficult to build and yet, so easy to destroy.

The sobs were now uncontrollable; the only thing keeping you from having a panic attack was the soothing motion of Cindy’s hand on your back.

You were reminded of the days you first met your group of friends. Even though you were so close to them now, things were not always that simple.

It took months for you to open up to your friends. You were so used to people leaving you and disregarding your feelings.

But, they were different.

They didn’t leave.

They stayed.

From then on you knew these were the people you wanted to keep in your life for years to come.

But when it came to Jongin, your heart was too weak.

If you let him into your life once again and he for some reason left without another goodbye, you know you wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Not again.

After a few minutes you pulled away and let out a long sigh. Cindy handed you a carton of your favorite ice cream; Ben & Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough.

“Here, eat.”

You smiled as she handed you a spoon; thank god for best friends.

She fished out a chocolate bar for herself and began to unwrap it.

“I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now, but maybe it’s all for the best?” she claimed, while taking a big bite out of her Hershey’s.

You nodded, maybe it is.

“Another thing that’s bothering me is that he confessed while he's already involved with another girl.” You admitted.

She raised an eyebrow while sipping on some random drink she bought from the store.

“Wait, you’re not talking about that girl at the party… are you?” she questioned.

“The girl clinging on to him all night? Yeah, that’s her.”

She stood up and walked around the living room, while tapping a finger to her chin.

“Hmm, I think I know something you don’t know” she admitted.

You gave her a confused look.

She met your eyes and quickly sat down in front of you.

“The night of the party, I saw her and Jongin together. I couldn’t hear them properly over the music but it sounded like she was saying ‘why her?' Then she went in for a kiss and he totally rejected it!"

The confusion was still fresh in your mind as you peered at her blankly.

She sighed while rolling her eyes and placed her hands on your shoulders. “Don’t you get it? He doesn’t have a girlfriend, that girl is just some stalker!”

“What? a stalker?!”

“Okay, maybe not a stalker, but it’s obvious that he’s not interested in her.”

You raised your eyebrows. So Jongin really is single?

“This may not change anything for you, but just know that you may be misunderstanding him.”

Biting your lip, you ate another spoonful of ice cream.

Even if what Cindy is saying is true, you weren’t sure if you were able to trust Jongin again like that.

You sighed and shut your eyes.

She was right.

It didn't change anything.

But you sure wished it had

A/N: 

Short chapter but 101% angst, What do you think OC should do?

Should she take the first step and trust Jongin again? Even if that means potential heartbreak?

Also where is Sehun?  Can anyone guess why he's ignoring OC?