Haha I hope this makes it in time...........well, this is for Perpetual_love and I hope sheloves it :)

P.S: If I don't make it by 12, that would be because of me not being home. Right now, I look at my clock and its 1 AM haha I hope I'm not too late :)

HERE WE GO!!!!!!

Characters: Kim Jaeloong, Bianca(fictional), Ji Hoon(fictional)

Foreword:

"What if you wasted love and our love, our time disappeared,

And the sad song ends up being the last song

You'll ever hear?"

--

“ You should really let him know about this. Bianca, he needs to know, he deserves that much.”

“ Jaejoong – shi, you know it will never turn out well. “

She sighed as she played with her pale fingers.

He took her hands, electrifying her. Never did his love for her subside, despite the fact that she chose another. The pain never lessened as he watched his bestfriend walk away with the girl that once belonged to him.

“ No matter, he deserves to know! How would I explain it to him when something happens to you? When you just suddenly disappear and never return again for no reason? How am I supposed to continue on, knowing that I could’ve done something to prevent that from happening?”

He whispered as if they were in a room filled with people. The room was empty, nobody but them and the beeping of different medical equipment in the clinic.

“ Oh so this about your conscience?”

“ You don’t get it do you? He deserves to know that his fiancée has a freakin’ hole in her heart! Bianca, you need a heart transplant! He needs to know!”

He squeezed her hands tighter. Now, urging on her to look at him in the eyes.

“  Jaejoong – shi, its Christmas tomorrow. Don’t you think that the timing would not be right? I want to tell him, but just not now. Not now, I can’t.”

She shook her head as tears flittered from her eyes.

He let go of her hands and steadied her shoulders and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

“ I know you’re scared, and I can’t blame you. But right now, you need someone to lean on, to tell all of your feelings to. Keeping anything from him will not help your condition at all.”

Her phone rang. It was him, Ji Hoon.

“ Hello? Baby, yes I’m coming. Don’t worry. No, of course not! What makes you think I’m crying? Neh, I’ll be there right away. I love you.”

She clicked the phone close, ending the call. Jaejoong winced at the sound of the last three words that escaped from her lips. She said it so effortlessly as if there was no meaning to it at all. She said it differently as she would’ve said it to him.

“ Jaejoong – shi, thank you so much. Oh and I’m happy you came back. Maybe someday, I’ll give you a proper welcome, neh? Oh I missed you so much.”

She stood from her chair as Jaejoong gave her room. As soon as he let go of her shoulders, she wrapped her arms around his waist and gave him a hug. This sent Jaejoong’s heart into overdrive, how he wished to feel her warmth like this again.

He cleared his throat as they let go, an awkward silence filling the gap between them.

“ Well, you better get going, neh? I’ll be looking forward to that official welcome. Bye, oh and be careful, arasso?”

“ Yes, appa.”

She smiled as she disappeared from his door.

He sighed, asking himself why he let her go.

--

She reached her car and sighed deeply. She was scared, yes, but not for the reasons that Jaejoong thinks so. She was not afraid at all to tell him that she might not have long to live. She was afraid that if she told him about her condition, it will give a definite reason to leave her, to finally leave her.

Denying the signs of another girl in their relationship, she tried hard to keep him. She tried to make him feel that she should be the only girl in his heart.

The thoughts of him touching, kissing, and romancing another woman filled her mind. She felt her heart tense up, and she knew immediately that she needed to stop. She reached their house without realizing that she has been parked on their driveway for over thirty minutes already.

“ Honey, I’m home. How was your day?”

She chimed in as she walked inside the dimly lit room.

“ Ji Hoon  - shi? Are you there?”

She walked deeper into the room. She gasped as she felt a pair of strong arms grip her waist, a little too tightly.

“ Honey, what’s wrong?”

She asked, trying to mask the panic in her voice. She knew something was different. Something was wrong.

No answer came from him. Instead, he devoured her neck, tasting every contour of her that his lips could reach in their position. There was no doubt that he was just with another girl for Bianca could smell and cheap perfume. She closed her eyes; this is what she had to endure.

“ Honey, I’m really not in the mood today. You’re drunk, let’s not do this. Not tonight.”

She tried to loosen his embrace. As she tried, it grew tighter, restraining her breathing.

“ Ji Hoon – shi! I’m getting hurt! Stop it!”

“ What? You’re telling me to stop? Isn’t that why you chose me over Jaejoong? You chose me because I could give you pleasure he would never give you. So why are you pushing me away now?”

The blood rushed to her face. That was it, she has reached her limit.

“ You know what? I’m not putting up with this anymore. I’m going to sleep.”

She started to walk towards her room, but was pulled back against his body. She squeezed her as he ripped her clothes away from her. She gasped at the sudden rush of cold that approached her body. He pushed her down the floor and yanked her jeans off. No matter how much she fought against him, his strength was too much for her.

He laid on top of her, putting all his weight over her. She struggled, without any success.

“ You, you better stop! Get off of me! NO!”

She screamed as he continued his lustful actions.

“ You, I can’t do this anymore. Is this what you see me for? No, you don’t deserve me. Get away from me!”

She mustered all of her strength and pushed his body off of her, spitting at his direction with disgust.

He was shocked. Anger now filled his eyes with fire, lust adding to the terror. His heavy hand rose and with a fluid motion, he slapped her face, producing a sound resembling the crackling of thunder.

He pulled her up from the floor.

“ You are the one who should be thankful to have me! What you don’t think I’m enough anymore? “

He said, his voice growing louder with every word.

Before she could respond, he carried her out of the house out to the deadly cold of the winter. She was outside in the snow. She ran to the door, a little too late for it was slammed right in her face. The estranged image of Ji Hoon, being the last she saw.

--

Bianca’s POV

The fierce wind mercilessly rushed to me and covered my bare skin. The hair on the back of my neck rose to the heavens, begging for warmth. He left me here, no mercy, heartless. The snow fell as my tears turned to ice. He’s not coming, I know. I should have seen this coming. Fool. A fool, that’s what I am. The blond hair, the lipstick stains, the unfamiliar scent of perfume, why did I deny the truth?

I chose his cold, hard hand over someone more than willing to lose everything, even his life for me. Could this be the punishment for my poor judgment? My hands and feet are numb as they were hit by the cruel reality of my life. I was left out here in the frightening wonderland of white, wearing nothing but my broken heart. How could he do this to me when all I ever dreamed of doing for the rest of my dwindling life was to give him all the love I could ever give?

“ Someday, someone’s going to love me the way I wanted you to need me. Someday, someone’s going to take your place. One day, I’ll forget about you. You’ll see, I won’t even miss you. Someday, I know someone’s going to be there. My tears will no longer have to fall.”

I cried like a fool would. A fool who has nothing left but the sadness that pours from her tired eye, that’s me. As I close my eyes and a fresh trail of tears burned my cheeks, the gentle kisses and echoes of our laughter shattered. They were all illusions, he tricked me. As if my stupidity wasn’t bad enough, my foolish heart still believed that he would rush to me and take me back in his arms again. The street was empty; everybody was in the comfort of their homes, cuddled against the people that keep their hearts beating. Oh how I wish my heart would just have stopped earlier so that I would not have to endure any of this, anything I never deserved.

I hugged my knees against my chest, keeping all the little heat I have left in my body. I heard the rusty movement of the garage behind me. His car slowly cruised beside me. I looked through the window and knew that he was aware of my presence, he was aware of me. Not a single glance or an air of pity and remorse came from him. I watched as his car roared and disappeared into the night.

“ Bianca? What are you doing out here?”

I saw another pair of headlights. Did he come back? I heard a gentle voice. No, that man can’t be him. I kept my eyes closed as the footsteps left imprints in my ears. My body gave in, all the heat I have has left me. I can’t anymore. The cold ice caught my cheek as I lay lifeless. The footsteps stopped and I felt something soft and warm wrap around my numbed body. I felt strong arms lift me off of the ground and his body pressed against mine. I could do nothing but let this man carry me away from my sadness, I had nothing left. The steady thumps of his heart sounded against my ear, leading my heart to its beats. He laid me at the back of his car; the warmth of the heater almost put my body into shock. The engine hummed and the car lurched forward. My eyes are still tightly closed, afraid that once I open them, the warmth, everything will disappear. I let out a a soft sigh and for the first time tonight, I felt safe.

--

Ji Hoon’s POV

“ Did I just do that?”

I squeezed the steering wheel and watched my knuckles turn paper white, reminding me of her skin before I drove off and left her in the cold. I love her, which was no lie. Like any man, I have my reasons. Reasons that seemed to make perfect sense now look so clouded like murky water. I did the right thing, right? I would rather screw a girl that I probably would never see again than to force her to do it.

“ I did the right thing.”

I tried to convince myself that the choice I made will be the best for her. She did not deserve me; she never deserved someone who caused her pain and suffering.

“ But I love her!”

I slammed on the breaks. The road was empty; the lights were dimmed by the heavy snowfall. An image of her, bare outside the locked house pierced my heart, I can’t do it, I can’t let it happen, I can’t let it go. I turned my car around; I have to go back to her.

The streetlights streaked my vision as the colorful Christmas lights blended with them. I felt like dying. How could I have done that to her? To make everything worse, she was bare, stripped. I stripped her off of her dignity. How did it come to this?

The drive felt like a million years until I reached the intersection to my house. I saw a white car coming from my street. I caught a glimpse of the driver as we cruised beside each other, going the opposite ways.  The driver looked awfully familiar. Did he, maybe, see her? Or would she have miraculously found a way inside the house? I continued, more desperate than before.

I made ,y way along our street . I found no sign of her, the light inside the house was off, just as I had left it. I jumped out of the car, my heart screaming with panic. I looked down and found footprints on the snow, it was a man’s. they led to where her petite figure left its own imprint. She was gone!

--

Third Person POV

With terror in his face, Ji Hoon opened the door. His fingers shook as he searched for the light switch along the wall. He found the house exactly the way he had left it, once the light nearly blinded him. Her clothes lay on the floor, her purse and its contents were scattered all over the house, signs of struggle.

“AAAH!”

He screamed as he picked up her cell phone. His chest was heaving,

He ran to their room, straight to the closet. Oh how he wished she DID in fact come back to finally leave him. At least then, he would be assured that she is now somewhere safe. But as he opened her cabinets, her clothes were neatly folded, the shoes on the rack, in perfect organization.

Anger and frustration filled his vision. His hands destroyed anything it laid upon. Papers, clothes, broken glass, filled the room that was once filled with pleasure and smiles. Now, the corners that closed him in felt like a prison cell, suffocating him. He threw another cabinet open, this time, his hands abruptly stopped as if an unknown force held them in place.

A stack of yellow envelopes called out to him. All of the addresses indicate that they all came from a hospital under Dr. Kim Jaejoong’s branch. His heart skipped beats each time her would re-read the doctor’s name over and over again. Could it be? Could his bestfriend be really back?

He opened an envelope and in it was a medical report named to Bianca. The pain in his heart grew stronger as he read each line of text on the paper. The truth slapped him on the face. Bianca, his precious Bianca, has con heart disease. He continued to read, his body getting weaker with every word that registered in his understanding.

He felt like the air that circulated in his body was blocked by his discovery, his eyes stung as his heart bled with his awful mistake.

--

Jaejoong’s POV

I laid her on the bed. I watched her breathe up and down. Her soft skin grew paler since I last saw her this morning. , in the snow, well, that’s bound to do something bad to your body. My mind raced, trying to find the answer to my only question since I picked her up from the front of her own house.

I decided to leave her for now and let her rest. I laid the best clothes I had that might fit her beside her on the bed. Outside, in the living room I waited. I looked out the window and watched as powders of snow gently fell on my window pane. I remembered her rosy cheeks, her smiles when we were together, playing in the snow. I remembered how her hand fit perfectly in mine as we frolicked in the snow, leaving our footprints that I thought would never fade.

The glass clouded as I sighed. How? Why did I let her go? Could Ji Hoon be looking for her right now? Why was she outside bare, almost lifeless?  I stretched my aching legs across the couch, lying on my back as I fought the welcoming hands of sleep. Should I bring her back once she wakes up? Or should I grab the chance and take her away and get her back?

Bianca’s POV

I woke up, a white room that brought back so much memories. Jaejoong? How did he find me? My feet and my hands still felt numb but I definitely feel the comfort that this room gave me. Maybe Ji Hoon was right. Maybe the only reason why I loved him was for the pleasure that Jaejoong wasn’t willing to give. I laughed at my stupidity, lust, look where that has gotten me. I turned my back to the person who cared for me the most and left with a man who only thirsted for the pleasure I could give him. I did not deserve Jaejoong, not when I think about the reason why I left him.

I turned to sit up and I felt my tense muscles ache. I groaned, I realized I was still . I searched the room for clothes. Conveniently, it seems that Jaejoong has already thought of that. I couldn’t help smiling as I remembered the love we shared, real love that I realize never faded as I held his clothes next to me. I breathed in his scent, oh how I missed it.

I closed my eyes, lost in the memories that rushed through me now. How can I mistake lust from true love? Could it be too late?

I decided to finally put the clothes on, the soft fabric hugging my body just like Jaejoong’s warm touch. I struggled getting to my feet, but I managed. I opened the door and realized that the rest of the house was unfamiliar to me. It puzzled me, why did the room look exactly like my room in our old house? I shook the thoughts away as I walked along the white hall. I stopped on my tracks and there he was, sleeping peacefully on the couch. I remember how I would watch him in the morning when I wake up, the days, those days were my happiest. I can’t believe I left only to get hurt and used.  I felt drawn to his angelic features once again. Why did he come back? He’s my doctor for crying out loud! The only one who knows about my secrets that not even Ji Hoon bothered to figure out.

My fingers lightly caressed his features. I traced his nose, his eyelids, and his cheek. My touch lingered on his lips, recalling how they felt against mine. I can’t help myself. I couldn’t resist anymore the longing I have for him, for his touch that seemed light years away from lust, his whispers that told me my beauty and the look in his eyes when he tells me he loves me. Without thinking, I bent down and kissed him lightly, his lips felt like an angel’s touch, saving me from the tangled mess that is now my life. Would he accept me despite what I did to him? I broke away from him, uncertainty clouding up my mind.

Jaejoong’s POV

I was drifting into sleep when I heard light footsteps from her room. The idea seemed silly when I remodeled that room but now that she’s here, it all made sense. Maybe there’s still a chance for the both of us. I kept my eyes closed, thinking I would scare her. I heard her footsteps get closer, I could hear her uneven breathing as well. This is how it should have been. She should have waited until everything was set, until I was certain that I could give her a bright future. Even then, even if she left me because I refused to succumb to her desires, I never was angry. I couldn’t blame her for wanting to fulfill her needs. The fact that she left me for those reasons are what brought me back to her, with a face, a reputation that she will be proud of. Jaejoong, me, I am back and I will take her away from the misery that she found herself in.  

I felt her trembling lips press against mine as lightly as a feather. Her kiss electrified my entire body, awakening me. I opened my eyes at last, only to find her piercing eyes staring at me. We caught each other's shy glance and I took my chance. I wrapped one of my arms around her waist and pulled her closer as I sat up on the couch. She did not fight back as I finally breathed in her scent.

--

Bianca's POV

" Why did I leave you?"

I asked, not being able to supress the boiling emotions inside of me.

" I don't know. Why DID you leave me?"

He threw the question back at me as he laid his forehead on my shoulder. I could not help but answer.

" I left you because I thought you didn't love me enough to touch me. I thought you didn't see me as significantly to make love with me. Now I know that you did all of those for my own good. Now look at me Jaejoong - shi, I'm a freakin' mess. I'm not even worth for your touch."

I started to pour out my past insecurities and now, my frustrations at my foolishness.

" Hush, baby. I hate it when I see you cry. I was upset that you thought I didn't love you, I would admit to that. But baby, I was at fault too since I never gave you a legitimate reason for my refusal. "

He hugged me tighter, my tears still flowed.

" Now, are you going to tell me why you were on your yard, while a snowstorm is brewing?"

I stood from his lap and exposed the graying part of cheek and neck.

" No need to ask, neh? I guess you could say that I got tired of how our relationship worked. Jaejoong- shi, he was cheating on me, different girl every night. And now this, he layed a hand on me and forced himself to me. I never wanted this. i guess a relationship built on lust does not necessarilly give you happiness does it? I feel awkward telling you all this when I hurt you once as well. What comes around, goes around, karma, yup, that's what I got."

I stayed away from him as his brown eyes seemed to darken as I mentioned Ji Hoon's wrongdoings.

" I suppose you are not coming back?"

I started to shake myh head, but realized what I was doing. Am I really that shameless to run to a person I've already hurt and actually ask for their help? Yes, I've grown shameless to the point where I don't care anymore as long as I can feel Jaejoong's warmth all to myself over again.

"I am never coming back."

My voice was stern despite the fact that it cracked every other syllable.

" What about your clothes, your phone, your purse, everything. Aren't you getting those back?"

I shook my head and stretched the plaid pajamas I was wearing.

" Nah. Since I'm already getting a little to comfortable, might as well stay. I could cancel each one of my cards and renew another account, clothes will be replaced soon enough, and that phone,he can keep it."

He chuckled, oh how I missed this so.

" You're right. I have those in different colors and you can wear all of them as long as your here."

He said pointing to the pajamas that loosely hugged mhy features.

" Jaejoong - shi, do you still love me? Inspite of all the hurt that I've put you through?"

" Bianca, the feeling in my heart never changed. I still believe in loving you and that will never change for as long as I live."

With that I felt safe, between his arms, we watched the snow turn into a storm of white glittering crystals through the glass window. I knew I found my home.

" Oh the room, I almost forgot. Why did it look exactly like our room back in the old house?"

I asked as I recalled my curious thoughts.

I can sense his lips curving into a smile behind me.

" Oh that. Well, let;s just say that I had a strong feeling you'll be back soon."

I smiled as well and as the white finally covered the window pane, I closed my eyes and fell back to sleep with his soft hums and lullaby.

--

AFTER 3 YEARS

" Mommy! Daddy! Look, I caught a snow flake!"

The little girl rushed to a young couple's direction.

" Let me see, honey."

The woman bent down to look at her daughter's hands.

" Oh no! Mommy, the snowflake got away! He's gone!"

The little girl started to softly cry. And this time, the man embodying sharp yet gentle features crouched to meet his daughter's eyes.

" No honey, the snowflake didn't run away. See? It's still there but just changed so it can be with you longer bacuse if it stayed as a snowflake, the wind might thake him away so he turned himself into water so you can touch him better."

He explained intently, sounding as believeable as possible.

" Is that true mommy?"

The girl, now with tears all dried, turned to her mother who was wearing a vibrant smile.

" Of course honey, now go along and play with your friends."

--

" Jaejoong - shi, Rina will be fine, right?"

Bianca's eyes shifted with worry for they were leaving their daughter for the first time.

" Of course dear. Don't worry too much, we won't be gone for too long, besides, we're just shopping and maybe get some food on the way."

He answered, opening the door for his wife.

It was Christmas eve and everything was white. The streets were filled with last minute shoppers and this couple, with their snowflake-shaped wedding rings are a part of them.

" Where should we go first?"

Jaejoong asked, taking his seat.

As Bianca was about to answer, a knock on the window caught their attention.

It was Ji Hoon.

Jaejoong started to rise from his seat, his face already red with anger as all the frustrstions for his bestfriend's fault came rushing in.

" Honey, I'll take care of it. It's about time, neh? Just wait here and try not to break something. Don't worry I'll be back."

Bianca opened the car door and walked away, side by side with Ji Hoon, the man that broke her.

" So you finally decided to look for me I guess."

Bianca said coldly.

He was quiet, guilty of the fact that after searching the house, he never went and looked for her.

" Bianca I'm sorry. I, you, you don't know. I should be happy when I see you and Jaejoong happy together. I should be happy because I chose this. I should be happy that you're happy. But I can't smile, I can't be happy knowing that I am no longer part of that reason that makes you so happy now. I'm so sorry."

Bianca remained still, not responding to Ji Hoon's apology.

" A chance, please, give me another chance."

He was onhis knees, in fornt of Bianca.

" Get up! I will have none of this."

She said, pulling him back to his feet, clearly not moved by his performance.

" Ji Hoon, you had me at my best, I was willing to give everyhting to you. He had me at my worst when you drained me of everything I was capable of giving. Don't tell me that you had no choice because that night, when you left me to freeze to deatrh, you had all the chances, all the choices you could ever have. And you chose to shatter me, leave me, your choice was to break my heart. I am finally happy with the man who trully appreciated me. I am happy now with a beautiful daughter that both me and Jaejoong cherish. I'm sorry but people change and move one, and that's exactly what happened to me. I moved on to a better chapter of my life."

Her words seeped through his heart as her coldness finally froze the sensation of his body.

" But you were sick, your heart."

Ji Hoon stuttered.

" Surgery."

A frigid answer was all he recieved for an explaniation.

" I finally found someone willing to burn for me when I needed the warmth, when I needed light. And just to let you know, I am not letting go of him ever, so stay away from now on."

She walked away, leaving a man, broken and hopeless.

--

" I'm back, honey. "

She kissed him lightly on the cheek.

" Where is he?"

" Oh trust me, I think he won't be coming back for a while."

" Why did you beat him up, bruise him up really bad?"

He asked, his eyes lighting up at the thought of violence.

She giggled.

" Of ciurse not honey. I showed him how happy I am to be with you. You who now lights up my life, you who burned for me."

She caressed his cheek, tracing circles on them as she pulled him in for a kiss. Their lips danced together in perfect rhythm, their hearts played an endless medley of struggle and happiness.

"Life is like a wheel,

Sometimes your side is on top, and sometimes at the bottom.

It's a never ending cycle of struggle and joy.

But as you get your time on the better side,

Happiness can last when your heart is content,

even when you seem to never rise from the bottom."