“It is You!!” changmin smiled happily

Before Jaejoong could react, Changmin had already run up to him and hugged him tightly while dropping his crutch “it’s been ages! I can’t believe that I’ll run into you so quick! I saw you the other day but I wasn’t sure if it was you because of the blond hair!”

Changmin continues to talk while Jaejoong was starting to feel tire of living if he will have to put up with three annoying individuals.

“Just look at you! you have gotten more beautiful although you are a bit skinny…it doesn’t matter because I win the bet!” Changmin spoke loudly and lively

“Bet?” Jaejoong raise an eyebrow at Changmin

“Don’t be mad okay…” Changmin clapped his hand together “ I made a bet with Junsu that you will become more beautiful while he predict that you will go through a change and become more handsome while leaving behind your pretty boy look”

Jaejoong wasn’t sure how to react, should he be angry or should he be disappointed that his appearance would become a bet between two friends. He knew he wasn’t like any other boys but he didn’t think his appearance would be such a big deal.  But then again, back then Yunho use to always and make him cry.

“oi…why are you wearing so little, aren’t you cold?” Changmin asked after noticing that Jaejoong is only wearing a sweater, sweat pants and shoes without socks.

Suddenly Changmin took his jacket and wrapped it around Jaejoong

“There, are you more warm now…” he smiled

Jaejoong stood there dumbfounded trying to figure out changmin. If he remembers correctly changmin had always been the lively one who looks out for the others. He may be the youngest but he has the biggest and kindest heart.

Changmin and Jaejoong sat on the bench at a nearby park as changmin handed Jaejoong a warm cup of coffee.

“here…this should warm you up” Changmin smiled

Jaejoong took the cup in his hand but didn’t make any attempt at drinking it. In fact coffee was a drink Jaejoong despised, he did not like the way it taste.

“How are you these last couple of years?” changmin asked

Jaejoong was starting to get tire of being asked this question and tire of answering them. He wishes for everyone to just leave him alone but if this is his punishment then most likely he will be asked this question a 4^th time in the future.

“I’m alright…” he answered “what about you?” he asked after noticing the cast and the crutch

“I’m doing good….except yesterday I got hit by a car. It wasn’t anything serious though, the driver was able to slow down the car enough to only cause minor damage” Changmin smiled “but That’s good that you are doing fine…I was kind of worry about you…”

“I’m an adult now…what is there to worry…”

Changmin chuckled “yea…you are but…I have always worry about you Jaejoong…in the past you were always getting sick no matter the season…”

Jaejoong didn’t respond as he turns his gaze to the empty snow cover field in front of him.

“10 years seem so long but it went by so quick…before you know it, things had changed…” spoke changmin “even you had changed…”

Jaejoong was expecting Changmin to point out his flaws like Yoochun and Yunho and look at him with eyes of pity but he didn’t.

“You have become more beautiful…” changmin smiled at Jaejoong whole heartily with eyes of compassion. He wasn’t looking at jaejoong like he is looking at a sick person; rather changmin looked at Jaejoong with the same eyes and same way he always did when they were kids. Nothing had changed regarding changmin’s attitude toward Jaejoong.

“Oh by the way…I had run into Yunho not too long ago…”

Upon the mention of Yunho’s name, Jaejoong felt his heart skip a beat

“I’m hoping you and Yunho could meet…you both should talk it out and seek forgiveness…to be honest with you, I really dislike the thought of all of us separating forever….”

Jaejoong didn’t say a word; he kept his gaze at the playground as if he’s in a world of his own. A cold wind blew pass causing Jaejoong’s blond hair to sway back and forth.

“But…” changmin continue “I also understand that it won’t happen anytime soon or if it will ever happen…it’s just my selfish wish…”

Jaejoong didn’t respond as changmin continued “do you remember when we were 6 years old and had went to the summer festival….It was a night all of us could not forget …our parents were busy and didn’t have time to take us. Yunho being the so call leader created a plan where we will sneak out of the house and go to the festival without our parent knowing….we all left our house in a secret and meet at the nearby park. Yunho assured us that he knows where it is and will lead us to a fun night at the festival. However being a six year old, Yunho doesn’t even know his direction. We got lost soon after and You started crying…” changmin chuckled at the memory “…Eun Chae scolded Yunho and then comforted you…but even so we were still lost in a big city not knowing where to go or how to go back home. Through it all, we worked together…Eun Chae kept all of us from panicking while all of us asked for direction from stranger. We were so scared because our parent had taught us never to speak to stranger. Along the way you had slipped and scrapped your knee. Yunho was being so mean to you then, he even suggest we leave you behind but….”

“He bends down and carried me on his back all the way to the festival without any complaint…” Jaejoong finished Changmin’s sentence

Changmin glanced at Jaejoong and smiled knowing that Jaejoong had not forgotten it.

“Yunho had done a lot of things that makes you angry, makes you cry and makes you want to punch him but Yunho is always the first to act when it comes to protecting those dear to him. We continue to follow him not because he acts with so much confident but because we trusted him that no matter what happen, he will still be able to lead us to where we need to go….” Changmin lower his gaze as the tone of his voice changed “although what he said that night was uncalled for…but you can’t really blame him…he was scare…all of us were scare and going through all kind of emotions…someone need to be hold responsible so the rest will be at ease…without even thinking, he put the blame on you and the rest of us followed him…”

Changmin walked and stood in Jaejoong’s view with eyes of regret. Suddenly Changmin bowed to Jaejoong

“I’m sorry!...I’m sorry for everything that I had put you through…I know it won’t be easy to forgive me and that I don’t’ deserve your forgiveness but I really hope you will find it in your heart to give me a chance to make it up to you! and…don’t hate Yunho…don’t hate Yoochun or Junsu…we all did you wrong, we all know our sins and…” changmin lifted his head to look at jaejoong directly in the eye “it’s not your fault…you are not to blame for Eun chae’s death….”

Jaejoong’s eyes widen in shock as all kind of emotion begin to surface. In all of his life he had accepted the fact that he had killed Eun chae but deep down he had wished for someone to tell him it wasn’t his fault. After 10 years…he finally heard those words but it wasn’t from the person he had wanted to hear it from the most. Who is it that he wanted to hear those words from? It wasn’t Yoochun nor was it Junsu? Was it Yunho that he desperately wanted to hear those words from? If so, why? What will the difference be between hearing it from changmin and from Yunho?

Jaejoong felt his heart raced upon the thought of Yunho. He suddenly remembers that it was Yunho who he had admired and wants to be knowledge by. Yunho was brave, confident and does whatever he is set out to do. Jaejoong had wanted to be just like him and have Yunho look at him with confident that jaejoong is a capable guy, someone who is worthy to stand at his side.

After biding a goodbye to changmin, Jaejoong finally reached home. He unlocked his door and enters his dirty apartment while ignoring the smell of rotten fish. He was too exhausted to do anything as he lay on the ground facing the ceiling. All kind of things were going through his mind, he wasn’t sure if he should forgive or he should hold grudges. Both his mind and his heart were telling him two different things. Jaejoong turn his head to the side and notice the picture lying on the floor next to him. He picks it up and held it above him.

Just then a knock appear at his door but he ignore it knowing very well who it might be.

“Jaejoong…I made some breakfast…I have to go to work …please eat this and don’t skip anymore meal okay…I put my number on the card so call me if you need anything…” came Yunho’s voice

Jaejoong ignored him as he stares at the picture and looked from one person to the next.

“I’m putting the food here by the door…please eat it while it is still hot…”

Jaejoong could hear Yunho placing something by his door

“Well…I have to go now…I’ll see you later for dinner…”

Yunho’s footsteps could be heard walking away from the door until it faded away. Jaejoong stare at Yunho on the picture. He had on such a big smile as his arm circled around Jaejoong’s shoulder while they both held up a peace sign. He recalls Changmin asking him not to hate Yunho. As long as jaejoong could remember, through all the teasing and all the pranks Yunho had pulled on him, jaejoong had never hated him. They had fought and some of them were serious fight that he and Yunho will stop talking to each other for days but always become friends again. Just then the memories of Eun Chae’s death reappear as he recalls all of his closest friends pointing finger at him calling him a murder over and over again and saying that he should have died and not Eun chae. Jaejoong quickly snapped open his eyes as he sat up sweating endlessly.

Yunho is in the middle of work stocking up some products. No matter how much he tried to concentrate, he wasn’t able to get Jaejoong out of his mind. He continues to recall Jaejoong sleeping while crying. It makes him wonder what could have happen. Just then Yunho felt a sharp pain, a sign that his usual headache will be coming.

“Are you okay?” his co-worker asked

“Yea…”

“You look a little pale”

“I just didn’t get enough sleep that’s all” he smiled to assure him that he is okay.

“Well…try not to fall sleep during work” the co-worker smirked before walking away.

Yunho only sigh and mentally beat himself up. He is at work now so he needs to concentrate rather than letting his mind wonders. After his sift was over, Yunho changed and headed out the door. Just then his phone ring as he answer it.

“it’s changmin…you free right now?” he asked

Yunho looked at his watch and notice it’s a quarter to 4 “yea I do…”

“Then let’s go for a little drink”

“Changmin…it’s only 4 in the afternoon…”

“Dude…drinking between friends have no such thing as time…meet me at Blue Moon…”

With that being said, changmin hang up the phone. Yunho couldn’t help but smile because changmin has not changed one bit after 10 years.  Jaejoong on the other hand were starting to feel tightness upon his chest as all the air in his body is being squeezed out. He couldn’t help but continue to recall all those fingers pointing at him calling him a murder. He begin to hear voices stating it’s his fault that his parent died, he had also murder them like he did to Eun chae. Jaejoong stumbled to his bedroom and reached for the counter to grab his pain killers but the pain was very intense as he dropped the bottle and wasn’t able to open the cap. He ends up laying on the ground in pain.

Yunho had just arrived at Blue moon when suddenly he felt a loud ring in his head.

A voice shouted loudly “Jaejoong…save jaejoong!!!”

Yunho winched in pain as he clinched the side of his head. The voice quickly disappears along with the pain but the feeling of something being wrong remains.

“Hi Yunho…did I make you…”

Before Changmin could finish his sentence Yunho had already run right pass him as if his life depends on it.

“yah Yunho!! Where are you going?!” he shouted

Yunho ran as fast as he could until he reached his apartment building. Her rushed up the stairs and begins to bang on Jaejoong’s door.

“yah! Jaejoong open the door?!” he shouted but there were no response

Yunho was starting to panic as he grabbed onto the door knob and to his surprise it wasn’t lock at all. He didn’t hesitate as he swings the door open when suddenly the strong smell of dead fish filled his nostril.

“what the hell is that smell?” he thought to himself

Without wasting any time, Yunho entered Jaejoong’s apartment. He was amaze at how trashy the place looked. There were foods all over the place with dishes piling in the sink. There were trashes everywhere making Yunho’s stomach turn. He can’t believe that Jaejoong actually live in this dump.

“Jaejoong?” he calls out “are you okay?”

There were no responses as he ventures further into the apartment. Just then he stepped on something on the ground. He looked down and notices it’s a picture of everyone when they were little. The very same picture taken before Eun chae’s death. Yunho also notice the pills and blood stain throughout the carpet.

“Jaejoong...what kind of life were you living?” Yunho wondered as a sickening feeling begin to emerge along with feeling of sadness.

Just then he heard bird chirping from Jaejoong’s room. Yunho begin to approach the door as he slides it open. The room was as cold as ice with the window wide open. However unlike the rest of the apartment, the bedroom was clean and bare. Yunho’s eyes wonder from the window to the birds before finally on Jaejoong who is lying on the ground. Yunho quickly rushed toward him

“Jaejoong!!!” he shouted in a panic as he picks Jaejoong up in his arm.

He continues to call Jaejoong but receive no response. He bends down to listen to Jaejoong’s heart but to his horror no sound could be heard.

To be continue…………………