Title: Stentorian

Pairing: 2min (Taemin/Minho)

Summary: Knowing he wouldn’t hear what you were saying no matter how loud

Genre: Angst

Author’s Note: Now this is what I call drabble. I'm so sorry if this is so short. I'm just too sleepy that it feels as if my brain no longer functions.

Word Count: 651

stentorian \sten-TOR-ee-un\

adjective: extremely loud

-*-

Like most people, sometimes I also wish I could turn back the time and do the things I love to do over and over again. Like telling the person I love just how much I love him. I know he already knows it but I just don't feel like it’s enough. Even if I tell him every second of every minute of every day, it will never be enough.

I want to go back to the past and then maybe do things I never get to do before. Before everything turned into a mess. When everything was still beautiful and perfect. When Taemin was still smiling like everything in the world is wonderful.

I think Taemin also wish for the same thing. I can tell by the way he looks in the distance and stare at nothingness as if expecting something to change right before his eyes and he didn’t wanna miss it.

Taemin, by the way, is the love of my life.

Whenever I look at him now, there's this pain in my chest that lasts for hours and squeezes the hell out of me until I could no longer breathe. It hurts me to see him hurting. It hurts me to see him so sad and knowing I couldn't do anything.

He loves watching the moon and I know it brings back memories of the times when we would lay on the grass and watch the night sky. As much as I hate it when he tries to remember I really couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't do anything about everything.

Sometimes we would walk side by side and watch the moon as it peeps behind the clouds. Taemin would stare at it for a long time until his eyes would tear up. He likes staring at the moon although it makes him cry. I like staring at his face and it makes me cry too.

We will walk home and lay in bed for the rest of the night and he would stare at the ceiling and I would wonder what's going on inside his head.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I would say but Taemin would remain silent and continue to stare into space.

"Minho…" He would call out my name after a while and I just love the sound of my name on his lips.

"Yes, Tae?"

"I really hate you, you know," he would say and then he would cry again for the rest of the night and break my heart over and over with every single tear that fell from his eyes. Somehow I knew that between those words, what he really meant to say was, "I love you". After all, love and hate could be synonymous too.

I would be filled with guilt for making him suffer like this. Even if we were both feeling the same kind of pain, I know his would be much worse. I touched- or at least tried to touch- his hand trying to ease the pain he was feeling. But it couldn't even do as much as a gentle caress and it frustrates me so much.

I want to turn back the time and spend every waking hour of my life with Taemin. I want to make love with him and make him utter my name with that sultry voice of his while we make love. I want to tell him I love him over and over and make him blush every time. I want to do so many things. I want to turn back the time.

"I love you tae. I love you so much." I would whisper those words to him over and over and then I would cry because even if I shout the words in a stentorian voice on top of my lungs, I know Taemin would never hear. And he will never know that I have always... always been by his side.

A/N: So basically Minho is dead. Taemin is sad because he misses Minho, not knowing that Minho is always with him. I hope it makes sense.