Come the following afternoon, once Chunji had arrived back home after his appointment- I didn’t end up sleeping.

He asked, of course, and I could somehow detect the disappointment in his message when I told him I couldn’t-

But I had no choice.

I still couldn’t deal with being around him right now, staying at home was much safer.

And I didn’t wanna see the happiness that was literally glowing through the screen to me with his every text;

*Omg l.joe- it’s totally gone!! All those stupidly heavily layers of plasticine - GONE!!! I can MOVE my fingers again :D* 8:45

*Yay, I’m booked in already this Thursday for physio and I have a load of exercises to do at home. They look so weird XD* 11:10

*I just managed to undo a button….. omfosh XD very sad- but still, I’m slowllllly gonna get there, man!* 3:26

Yeah…

He was totally ecstatic about his recovery right now, as he should be. As I should be-

But I wasn’t…

                                                                                                            ********************

It was back at school that I next saw Chanhee and headed off with him again to his classes as usual, though as the week crawled by and Thursday approached the boy needed me less and less.

“Alright, I’ll see you next period then,” Chanhee spoke, right when we reached his maths room door and that stupidly spiked up hair kid was waving over to him.

“You sure?” I question, as his sudden independence throws me. “You got everything?”

You need me to do anything…? I wanted to say.

“Yeah I’m good.” he hums happily “Cya man-“ and with that he took off into the classroom and hurried over to his new found friends.

At lunchtimes I was still able to help him- for which I was eternally grateful as the horrid unease that kept seeping through my system was only abated when I found myself useful once again.

When the boy asked for my help with something- 

And thus I was still helping him cut up his food, and open containers and drinks for him whilst he managed to do the rest alone.

He could already hold his fork by himself once more, and just the sight of that had me feeling all out of sorts-

“Wah, Chanhee.” Ricky had congratulated as the teen shakily fed himself that Tuesday. “You’ve healed up real good already!”

“Yeah, I know right- looks like you’re off the hook L.joe,” Changjo had jumped in, and causing the guys to chuckle as they watched Chunji smile back at them.

And it only got worse from here;

Back at his place as I struggled to sleep over now, he was making vast improvements.

“I’ve been trying really hard- but not too hard,” he’d told me smartly, as we made our way up to his room. “Don’t wanna push too fast and damage it all over again-“

“Mmm,” I’d hummed, not fully meeting his gaze.

He’d then demonstrated just how adept he was becoming by unpacking his own bag- even if it did take a while, and going to the bathroom by himself as I awkwardly sat back down when I realised he didn’t need me to him.

He still needed help when it came to undressing fully, so I joined him later before his shower, unable to help the way my eyes now drifted over his torso when I removed his shirt, or the way our hands almost touched at his waist band-

“Sorry,” I’d said at once, and instantly pulling my hands away as the nervous butterfly’s in my chest fluttered around my ribcage.

“It’s cool-“ he’d spoken, not fazed at all by being almost in front of me anymore as he pushed slowly out of his school pants.

Backpedalling a little I try to look anywhere else but in front of me, as he undressed down to his bonds branded underwear- that is until he asked me to help with the shower taps.

Immediately stepping forward, I go right back into that one on one mode and start twisting the shower handles as the water splashes down to the tiles beneath;.

“Mm, Byunghun.” The teen starts quietly and stepping up to stand beside me as I expertly avoid getting wet.

At first my whole shirts would get ruined, absolutely soaked in a matter of seconds- but not anymore…

“Yeah?” I say idly, and ducking my wrist under the spray to check for the temperature I knew he liked.

“I’m sorry for holding you up so much these past few weeks… I didn’t want to put you in that, er position,” he stumbles awkwardly, “but yeah, I’m really grateful.”

Smiling, I feel a spread of warmth wash through my gut but at the same time I can’t help but feel that tug of disappointment in my chest at the realisation of what he was saying right now-

At the finality of his words right then and there.

“No problem, man.” I say easily, as my throat begins to close over. “What are friends for?”

But what I was really thinking was that this was all over now…

That I’d been there for him- and now he didn’t need me anymore.

He’d thanked me, the last thing that’d been left to do and now all there was left was to wai till he’d regained that last shred of strength once more.

The last bit of strength to zip his own bag up at school and twist his hands in a way to pull on his own shirts, to open his own drink bottle and doorhandles…

And then I'd need to take that step back and leave his side for good-

Because he wouldn’t need me like he had all these past weeks…

The boy smiled back at me, and as I declared the water to be good I quickly and quietly slipped back out of the room.

Trying to mentally prepare myself for when that inevitable day would come.