My actions were never meant as a dangerous invitation to Kihyun and it is because of his words that I am suddenly awake and aware of what he meant. “I…” The words couldn’t leave my lips that easily. “I don’t meant it that way.”

And that which I’m referring to was my actions that triggered intimacy between the lowly life of a slave and a noble man. “I’m sorry.” I added once again. Apology is the word that I’m accustomed to.

“No.” He breathes. “Don’t apologize, its sick to hear it from someone nice like you.”

My cracked lips parted then close again because I have no idea what the correct respond would be. Kihyun stares at my puzzled expression and then chuckles. His laughter makes me feel so at ease and the worry I have for him moments ago were miraculously vanished. I feel so warm at the heart, so comfortable, so… loved?

He sat up right then and the air in between us is what clears the intimacy, which isn’t really doing a great job. Seeing the bloody mess he’s in, I decided to give him his time to clean himself up without mentioning. I made an attempt to leave, which is obvious enough of a message to him. Nevertheless, it still puzzles me how it is possible for him to feel fine again when his injuries were so life threatening earlier.

“Could you give me a hand?” He says not long after I shift away. Kihyun never fails to surprise me with his words, his actions that seems to respond exactly to whatever I think.

I know it doesn’t make sense for me to ever cross this thought but still, he has this power to make people believe so. Power… I laugh a silent one in my mind, what am I thinking? Kihyun took my silent as consent. I don’t mind a bit because I don’t have the rights to not oblige his request.

It never felt so wrong to help someone and the definition of wrong seems to carry a different definition this time round. The moment he stood up, he lifted his tee so nonchalantly and my eyes darted everywhere else except for his face and Kihyun drops the tee that’s on his hand to the floor. More than anything else that I’m feeling, I see the cuts on him.

I grimace as though the injuries were mine, how could someone endure such pain and make it alive?

The dried up bloods and cuts all over his chest were a mess and I got my senses back. I did what I knew I had to do and stood in front of him without a second of hesitation. All the time I cleaned up his injuries, he would fix his gaze at me, I could literally feel it and he follows every movement of mine so closely it is too suffocating for me to even breathe properly.

Very often, his breath would hit the crown of my head and at random moments, my head would come into contact with his chin. I moved away of course, even if it was an accidental touch. But each and every time I tried to pull the distance between us a little further, he would trace it back and I find myself back to the position where his chin could rest comfortably on my head. It is insane how close we actually stood right to each other.

Tell me I’m imagining things.

Amidst the treatment I’m giving, Kihyun does not express any wince of pain and most of the cuts seemed to have gotten smaller the more I cleaned up his injuries. I get to see his bare chest now that all the blood is cleaned up. I watch his rising chest, his breathing is deep and calm, a hint that he’s probably getting better. The golden brown skin color of his glows under the light’s reflection and there’s a tattoo of a fierce wolf on the left of his chest, the position of one’s heart.

I swallow my saliva that’s accumulated from the tense atmosphere both of us shared all these while. I can’t help but get reminded by Maia’s words as well as my own suspicion towards Kihyun once I got to notice this tattoo.

His tattoo.

It drives me crazy to contradict Kihyun’s behavior to my suspicion. If a noble man like Kihyun has a wolf tattoo on his body – the position of one’s heart to be exact – then does it mean that he has the heart to rebel against the government? And what about the map that relates everything back to the legends? The dungeon that locked prisoners away. And what’s worst? The dungeon is specially made for the wolves.

My fingers draw itself towards the eyes of the wolf, it is inked so clear and precise I could see the inner orbs. “Does it amuse you?” Kihyun queries and I see the fun he’s probably having by asking me this question. He allows his eyes to leisurely gaze at me which I don’t feel comfortable with. Those eyes that glisten with mischief.

“I don’t know.” I answer with all honesty. If I had said no, it would be too obvious of a lie after he has witnessed how I stupidly draw my fingers to his tattoo. And if I were to admit, would it pose a danger to myself after admitting how amuse I am to the wolf tattoo. No everything seems wrong. “Should I be amused?”

“You should.”

“And why is that?”

“Don’t you believe in the wolves?”

Kihyun says the word like it’s not on restrict and there’s no worries he has after saying it. His expression says it all and the confidence he carries is just so overwhelming I feel as though it would be okay to agree to whatever he says. “I don’t know sir.” I say so because I really don’t and there, I know I have made a mistake.

The number 1 government’s education that everyone has to follow and unanimously agrees on is that the legends – wolves – does not exist.

“You should.”

“Why?” I am so surprised by what he says I can’t take back what I asked. This conversation we’re having is basically an invitation to fault. And I have fault so, after numerous times but the thing that scares me further is that, Kihyun does nothing even though the both of us know what are the faults I, as a slave has committed.

“Because they really do exist.”

Not being able to bear with the curiosity, this was what I had to ask, “Do you believe they exist?”

“Yes.” Comes his answer, his tone deep and flat.

“Even now?” I pushed my question.

“Yes.”

I, have nothing to say in regards to his response. I’m very surprised and it just creates a lot more troubling questions I already have. I want to ask if he is what I assume to be but that would risk my life and if he happens to be what Maia and I assume to be, then that would be disastrous because I wouldn’t be facing a human. Kihyun seems to have notice the look I give him, of fear and doubt.

So he moves in and covers the gap between the two of us that is separated by air and smiles then gave a few pats on my head, tangling his fingers with my hair in the midst. I had to crane my neck in order to look at him. I secretly measure my height and realize I stood up only to his shoulders.

The closeness is overpowering every conscious state of my mind and I’m afraid I can no longer stand it. I back myself away from him, taking a step back but only to be stop by a force on my back. Warm, big and strong. His hands snake itself round my waist and those large hands of his were placed flat on my back, preventing me from moving away.

I looked away, averting his penetrating gaze. I could hear him breathing, very calm and deep. On contrary, I am having difficulty in recognizing my situation. Not able to back away nor am I allowed to advance. We stood like that for long, long enough for my legs to feel numb and all along, Kihyun said nothing except for holding me close to his chest and engulfing the whole of me.

There were a few moments I contemplate if I should snuggle in but a cognizant state of my mind warned me not to and that is how I ended up in such an awkward position with him. I have no idea what he had meant by doing this to me.

But it didn’t felt so bad to have someone hugging you.

*