“I wonder what it is,” Woohyun muttered under his breath as flicked the edges of a scrap of paper in his hands. Sunggyu had hastily written a note down and given it to him. All that was on there was a place and a time. And the elder had handed it over to him with nothing else but a cheeky smile. Sunggyu was being oddly secretive about it. Woohyun thought it was unfair. He was expected to divulge everything to the elder, but the old man was withholding. It was infuriating, but at the same time, Woohyun recalled the smile on the deaf man’s face. The cashier could only smile and sigh as he tucked the piece of paper into his back pocket, “He’s a weirdo.” Or maybe Woohyun was a weirdo for following the old man blindly.

Yes, Woohyun was a weirdo, even more so because he was preemptively lonely. He had just left Sunggyu and began his shift. Sunggyu, however, had told him that he would be unable to meet with him until Thursday. And when Woohyun asked why, the old man was oddly cryptic again citing that he had to “prepare.” Woohyun offered his assistance, but Sunggyu said something about not ruining the surprise. So now, Woohyun’s routine was disrupted, a recent friendship was put on hiatus. Would it survive that long? Would it become awkward when they would meet again?

Woohyun ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. What was he thinking? They were friends. He didn’t feel this insecure about his relationship with Sungyeol or Sungjong, but for some reason, his relationship with Sunggyu seemed more tenuous and fragile. It was the difference in age. He was sure of it. It was his first time he had been in a “friendly” relationship with someone much older. He wasn’t sure if he was going about it right.

While he was caught up in his own thoughts, the store bell rang. The cashier’s head sprung up, welcoming the newcomer.

“Can I put this on your window?” the woman asked. She was carrying a large poster in her hand and several more in her bag. “It’s a flyer for an audition,” she elaborated as she unfurled the poster.

“My Star: Auditions” was written across the top in large bold letters. My Star, it was just one of those several vocal competition shows on television. Artists were elected by the public to be coaches to aspiring singers across the country. Once the coaches assembled their team, the teams would go through several challenges, testing their skills and being eliminated one by one through a public vote. You know, the standard, stereotypical elimination show. There was nothing really special about it.

Except it sent shivers down his spine. The hairs on his arms stood up. Woohyun found it. He finally found what he wanted to do. He was going to audition for this show. He was going to win it. He was going to be a singer.

“Yea,” Woohyun’s voice cracked. His throat had become suddenly dry. “Go ahead and put it up.”

The woman then bowed. “Thank you!” She then exited outside of the shop to paste the poster onto the window.

The cashier waited until the woman had finished putting the poster up, and then he darted straight outside to read the details for it. His heart was racing with excitement, and a smile broke out onto his face as he wrote down the time and address onto a piece of paper.

The rest of the night, he spent planning his audition, how he would get there, what he would sing, who he could get to cover his shift, when he was going to practice. Practice? Woohyun laughed to himself. He hadn’t sung in awhile, and he didn’t use to practice much before school recitals, resting on his raw talent. But it was about time that he polished the rough edges of his voice. He was going to compete against hoards of people with just as much talent, most of them probably have had vocal lessons. Woohyun’s throat tightened at that thought. Don’t fail me now, he thought, his neck softly.

In the back of his mind, Woohyun knew that he had one advantage over those vocally trained threats: He was Nam Woohyun. He could do this. He had to.

At the end of his shift, when he was stuffing the audition information into his back pocket, he found the slip of paper that Sunggyu had given him. The silly worries that he had at the beginning of his night had melted into excitement. When they meet again, he’ll tell the old man about his brilliant plan. Creepy ahjussi will be so shocked that I’m actually doing something with my life. And without him too.

---

Woohyun lazily stirred the soup in his bowl as he quickly glanced up at the middle-aged woman next to him. He puffed out his cheeks and let out a huff. I’m not asking for permission. I’m just excusing myself. If she says no, you can still go. She’s not your mother, Woohyun thought to himself. The sooner he told his aunt and uncle about the meeting on Thursday, the sooner he’d alleviate his guilt. But the guilt was a reminder of how close he felt to these people. They weren’t related, but Woohyun at some point in time, over many dinners, began to care what they thought, began to respect their opinion and the people themselves. So although he considered himself as an adult who was more than capable enough to make his own life choices, he couldn’t help but think, What if they say no?

And in all honesty, if they did, he probably wouldn’t go, and that thought alone scared him. If this is what a family is like, it’s scary that it could hold that much power over someone. Did Woohyun actually want that?

Yes, he’s been wanting this his whole life because even though family came with limitations, hindered freedom, it also came with the solution to the loneliness that plagued the majority of his life. It was a group of people who wouldn’t leave his side no matter what…hopefully.

“So, um, next Thursday…” Woohyun began, but then slowly lost his confidence afterwards, especially since the whole table turned to look at him.

“Yes?” his uncle prodded him.

Woohyun’s gaze drifted down to the bowl of soup in front of him. “I won’t be able to come to dinner,” he revealed in a quiet voice. He wasn’t asking for their permission, but at the same time…

“Why not?” his aunt leaned in closer. Her voice grew in excitement. “Do you have an interview?”

“Uh, um, not quite,” Woohyun stumbled through a reply with a shake of his head. “I’ve, uh, been talking to someone who’s helping me decide a career,” he worded carefully. The two parents exchanged glances. Sungjong put down his utensils and was hanging on his every word. Woohyun felt his throat constrict at the attention. He swallowed, trying to release the pressure and continued, “And…he wants to take me somewhere on Thursday.”

“Hm?” his aunt turned towards him. She was confused. “I didn’t know you were seeing somebody for that. Who is it?”

“His name is Kim Sunggyu. He’s a counselor…and a friend,” Woohyun added the last part as a second thought, completely glossing over the fact that the other was significantly older than him (hoping that the fact that Sunggyu had a stable career was enough of a sign). But his family’s stares and silence did not stop. “Uh, we met at the store,” he added/lied, hoping that someone else would say something before he’d start babbling about how they actually met in a chatroom.

“Kim Sunggyu?” his uncle repeated.

Woohyun nodded. “Eung.”

The old man wrinkled his eyebrows and face Woohyun. “He’s been giving you career advice…for free?”

“Eung.”

“Well,” the uncle held that for a while as he gathered his thoughts. Woohyun held his breath, anticipating his answer. The old man turned towards him and smiled. “He sounds like a good guy.”

"This is good,” his aunt added. Woohyun whipped his head around towards her, almost shocked at their positive reaction. “You need an older male influence in your life."

Her husband pouted and joked, "What about me?”

“Honey, I want my children to be mature, wise adults and not silly little toymakers,” she chided him.

“I’m a robotics engineer,” he huffed under his breath.

“Same difference,” she teased.

The whole table broke out into laughter, and Woohyun slowly joined them too, reeling from the fact his aunt had referred to him as “my child.” And it wasn’t until he was helping her to clear the dishes when he realized that the respect was mutual. Woohyun was an adult. He could make his own decisions about what he did with his own time and whom he met with, and they respected that. They encouraged it. Woohyun smiled to himself and offered to wash the dishes. It was a small thank you for all they had done for him.

However, maybe not all of his newfound family was so willing to hand their dear Woohyun over to a stranger. While washing the dishes, Woohyun was surprised to see Sungjong offer his assistance. Sungjong, who normally was the first to leave the table and retreat into his “cave,” just picked up a dish towel and declared that he would dry the dishes. Woohyun eyed him cautiously after he handed the last bowl over to the other. They had been working together in complete silence. It was obvious that Sungjong wanted to say something. He had been sharply inhaling and then turning towards Woohyun, but quickly changing his mind and sighed. After the sixth time he did this, Woohyun snapped, “What is it?”

Sungjong looked taken aback, but still cautiously replied, “Sunggyu-ssi…is he just a friend?"

Woohyun grinned. Ah, that’s why. He should’ve known Sungjong would figure it out. They were the closest to each other after all. "Sort of. Why?" he played around with the younger, forcing him to say what’s on his mind.

And Sungjong struggled to put it delicately into words, "It's just that…the other day…it seemed like you were trying to say that…you're…you know." He cleared his throat afterwards and looked away. This conversation made him feel awkward.

But it was giving Woohyun oh so much erse pleasure. He chuckled and wiped his hands off on the towel that was hanging off of Sungjong’s shoulder. "I am,” he readily admitted. Sungjong looked up, shocked by his openness. It made Woohyun laugh even more, this time out of happiness. He had no reason to hide. Sungjong would still be by his side, like he was physically was right now. Woohyun took a step closer to the other. “But I'm not attracted to every guy. I only like pretty boys," he spoke in a low whisper, Sungjong’s cheek with the back of his still damp hand.

Sungjong stood there, completely still for a second or two, until he realized that Woohyun was toying with him. "Y-yah!” he stammered and pushed his hyung away. “Don't joke like that. It's creepy." Woohyun’s face fell, and Sungjong was quick to amend his statement, speaking in a gentle tone, "I mean, it's not creepy that you're gay. It's creepy because you're my brother.” The smile returned to Woohyun’s face and he reached over, this time dragging his entire hand down the side of Sungjong’s face. The younger slapped him away and growled, “Stop it, you weirdo."

Woohyun chuckled in childish glee and lamely excused himself, "Your skin's soft." To that Sungjong only shook his head, mumbling how he couldn’t believe that the other was older. And Woohyun couldn’t believe how easy it was to tell someone that he was gay. As it would turn out, it didn’t matter. To Sungjong, Woohyun was still Woohyun, an annoying hyung whom he tolerated and, although he would never admit it when pressed, looked up to. And a real family stuck by your side no matter what.

---

That night was the first night Woohyun didn’t stop by Sunggyu’s place. He had lingered at the Lee’s home for longer than he usually did, and after he left, his feet had led him to the internet café out of habit. He hadn’t been there in a long while, but nothing about it had changed. It was still dark, smelled stale, and reeked of desperation. Even his usual stall was empty, waiting for him to fill it.

With a sad sigh, Woohyun sat down in front of the computer. He chewed his lower lip as he went onto the internet and opened up to the chatroom. He’d still be working, right? Even if he couldn’t physically meet with Sunggyu, Woohyun wagered that he could still communicate with the other online. He wanted to talk to him, tell the elder about the auditions and get his opinion. Woohyun could practically hear the man for coming to a deaf man for singing advice, but much like his aunt and uncle, he respect Sunggyu’s opinion too. Maybe Sunggyu was becoming more like a brother to him.

nwh91: Hello?

Woohyun typed and sent the messaged. As he was about to remove his fingers from the keyboard, awaiting Sunggyu’s normally sluggish reply, the computer dinged.

answerking4: Hi! Is there anything you would like to ask? Don’t be shy. I’m here to help.

Prompt, cheery, helpful? Nope, this was definitely not Kim Sunggyu. Even the username was slightly different. Woohyun sighed once again and typed out a curt response.

nwh91: No.

The person almost immediately responded back.

answerking4: Are you sure?

Woohyun scoffed. If only I had talked to you from the beginning…but he didn’t want this type of gentle advice anymore. He had grown accustomed to Sunggyu’s harsh treatment and heavy dose of reality. Now he wouldn’t want it any other way. He closed out of the chatroom and began to pack up his things. He’ll start his shift early tonight for a lack of better things to do.

It was a good thing he did. There was a line forming at the cashier’s, but someone had accidentally knocked over a case of drinks. Glass and sticky liquid was all over the floor. Woohyun offered to clean it up, allowing the cashier to check out the costumers.

As he was cleaning, he could hear the high pitched giggling at his back. He grinned and leaned forward as he wiped the floor, thinking that there was no harm in giving the high school girls more of a show. He was the Flower Boy of the Convenience Store after all. It was his job to provide these girls with eye candy (and their job to his ego a bit).

He looked up. He could see the girls in the reflection of the glass windows across from him. They were hiding behind the shelves, peeping around the corner. Woohyun smirked and straightened himself up. He put a hand behind him, rubbing the small of his back and stretching his limbs with a groan. He was sure to have a bit of his shirt rise up in the back, revealing a bit of his skin. The whispering behind him grew louder. A hot response. He then quickly turned around and waved to them with a bright smile on his face.

Most of the girls darted behind the safety of the shelves, giggling in embarrassment, except for one brave soul waving back at him (or stunned soul). “Hwayoung-ah!” one of her friends exclaimed, pulling her back to hide with them.

Woohyun clenched the mop in his hand. Hwayoung, he repeated the name in his head. It sounded familiar, and he’d be damned if she wasn’t wearing the uniform from Sungjong’s school. The crest on the blazer was similar. It’s her.

Woohyun dumped the mop into the bucket. He’ll clean the rest later. The mess wasn’t going anywhere. He had a bigger mess to clean anyway.

He walked up to the shelves where the girls were huddled behind, hiding. All of them looked up at him with anticipation and wide eyes. His gaze was fixed on the girl closest to him.  “Is your name Hwayoung?” he asked in a serious tone.

She looked at her other friends, who pushed her closer to him and encouraged her to respond. “Yes, oppa,” she answered, a soft pink blush crept onto her cheeks. Her eyes were fixed on his dirty sneakers.

“Are you friends with a boy named Lee Sungjong?”

Her head snapped up. She furrowed her eyebrows and slowly replied, “I know him.”

It was her, Sungjong’s best friend and unrequited crush. And judging by her answer, their relationship had soured just like his dongsaeng had said. Woohyun sighed and asked, “Can we talk?”

Hwayoung sheepishly nodded. Her friends began to “oh” and “ah” at the two as they walked together out of the convenience store. Hwayoung, embarrassed, tried to shush them, but they only grew louder and wished her luck. Once out of the doors, Hwayoung tucked a stray hair behind her ear and asked, “What is it, oppa? What did you want to talk to me about?”

Woohyun faced her and put his hands in his pockets. “Sungjong,” he replied bluntly. He abandoned his usual, polite smile. The girl noticed and started to become uneasy at her oppa’s graveness.

“Why?” she whispered.

The corner of Woohyun’s mouth picked upwards. It was a lame attempt to look more friendly so that she could open up to him, but he might’ve come off more like a crazy ahjussi than your friendly neighborhood oppa. But he couldn’t help it. “He’s my brother.” This girl was messing with his little brother’s heart.

“Brother?” she repeated, now more confused than ever. “But Sungmin is…Oh!” Hwayoung snapped her fingers and her face lit up. “You’re that weird guy who eats dinner with them!”

Woohyun chuckled. It sounded like something Sungjong would say. “Is that really what he told you?” he asked.

Hwayoung nodded excitedly, but was quick to pull herself back and compose herself again. She spoke in a calm voice, “Well that and some other things.” That said more than she wanted it too. She wanted to be coy and mysterious, but the fact that Sungjong told her about Woohyun, an adult who acts more like a child and who was quickly assimilated into his family, meant that Sungjong felt close to her and that she meant a lot to him.

“You two seem close, but when I asked you if you were friends, you said that you only knew him,” the cashier recalled, crossing his arms over his chest.

Hwayoung giggled nervously and fiddle with the ends of her hair. “That’s because…ummmmm…” She didn’t have an answer ready.

“The other day? When he fought those kids?” Woohyun guessed, or that’s at least what Sungjong had told him.

“No. No,” she fervently denied, waving her hands as if she was trying to swat a fly from the air. “It’s because...” She then sighed and looked Woohyun straight in the eye. “I like you, and I didn’t want you to think Jjong and I were together.”

“You like me?” Woohyun pointed back and forth between them.

Hwayoung nodded. “A lot,” she replied in a small voice and with a sheepish grin.

Woohyun scoffed. He didn’t mean to sound derisive. It was more that he could believe his luck, or Sungjong’s luck. It felt like fate was mocking him again. This girl had accidentally made things so twisted. When she told Sungjong that she liked mature guys, she meant a lowly cashier with only a high school diploma (Woohyun had heard of women liking a man in uniform, but surely his blue vest didn’t meet those qualifications). If only she knew how immature Woohyun could be. Oh well. He was going to cut off this love triangle before it could fully form. “Don’t you think that I’m a little old for you?” he retorted.

“You’re only a couple of years older,” she argued back. A chesire grin grew across her face. “And as we get older, the gap won’t seem that big.”

This time, Woohyun did scoff at her. “You put a lot of thought into this,” he had to give it to her. Hwayoung nodded proudly. “But you don’t even know me,” he pointed out. He guessed that the only thing the girl knew about him was when and where he worked.

Hwayoung was unrelenting, “We can get to know each other.”

“You have an answer for everything. I can see why Sungjong likes you,” Woohyun meant it as a snide remark, trying to pass her off as some sort of smart alec. But too much passed through his loose lips. He had revealed his brother’s heart. No, no it’s okay, he assured himself. Jjong must have confessed to her before. Yea, that’s why things are so weird between them.

Hwayoung looked away and let out a deep breath. “I thought he did,” she admitted.

. Woohyun had just done the confessing in Sungjong’s place. He’s going to kill me. “Don’t tell him that I told you,” the cashier begged.

The girl glanced up at him with a small smile. “I won’t,” she assured him.

“Do you like him back?” Woohyun figured that he had nothing else to risk by asking that question.

Hwayoung’s smile grew as she met his gaze again. “Well…” She then looked at him expectantly.

Woohyun put two fingers to her forehead and pushed her away. He’d been holding that in for too long. “You’re not my type,” he refused her. “You have 0 chance with me.”

Hwayoung huffed as she slapped his hand away and fixed her hair. “What is your type?” she asked.
Woohyun looked the high school girl up and down. In spite of her sharp tongue and horrible taste in men, she seemed to be sweet. She was also naïve. Naïve enough to like a man like Woohyun. “It’s nothing you could change about yourself. Or want to change,” he spoke in all honesty. To be a man that Woohyun would love, well, Hwayoung would have to make a lot of major changes. But that was besides the point he was trying to make. “You shouldn’t change for somebody anyway.”

“I know,” her tone was bored, as if she had heard this several times before.

“You know,” Woohyun began and leaned in closer like it was a secret (another one of the secrets that wasn’t his to reveal). “Sungjong likes you the way you are.”

Hwayoung almost looked saddened by that. She sighed. “I know that too, but…we’re friends. Good friends,” she clarified.

“But don’t good friends make good boyfriends?” Woohyun argued. Shouldn’t it be as easy as that?

The girl shook her head. “Sometimes a good friend is just a good friend.”

---

That conversation put Woohyun in a funk for the rest of the night. Should he tell Sungjong about it? Would Hwayoung tell Sungjong? Or should the kids figure it out for themselves? Woohyun felt as if he had already taken one great step over the boundaries. It was time for him to retreat back to his territory. And so when Sungjong came to pick up a snack and to check up on his hyung, Woohyun was mum about the whole situation. However, they were family. Once Sungjong talked with Hwayoung and gotten his heart broken, Woohyun would be there to help pick up the pieces. But for now, all he could do is sit and wait.

It was excruciating.

But not as excruciating as the next morning, when Woohyun was having breakfast with Sungyeol, who couldn’t stop from mooning over their waitress. It was cringe-worthy, but at the same time Woohyun had never seen the cop so…vulnerable. Sungyeol was literally wearing his heart on his sleeve, waiting for Heeyeon to pluck it off of him like a piece of lint. Too bad lint is normally thrown away after that.

Woohyun cleared his throat when he caught Sungyeol searching for the waitress and ignoring his all important anecdote about his shift the night before. Sungyeol faced him and smiled sheepishly. “Was I staring again?” he asked.

“Yea,” Woohyun grumbled with a deep frown on his face. “Don’t ask about someone’s day, if you’re not going to listen.”

“I was listening,” Sungyeol argued, his mouth full and he was spitting on Woohyun as he spoke. Just when he thought Lee Sungyeol couldn’t get any more offensive this morning. “High school girls checked out your , and you told Sungjong’s crush that he liked her.” Well, that pretty much summarized his night perfectly (although he did forget to mention the drunk who bought $100 worth of feminine products), so Woohyun let him off the hook. However, Sungyeol still hand him on his tethers. The cop leaned forward and whispered, "So Sungjong told me about your situation."

Woohyun spoke through a bite of food, "What situation?"

"The ual kind."

Woohyun began sputtering, choking on his food. His hand searched the table for his glass of water. Sungyeol found it and placed it into his friend’s hands. After taking long sips and hitting his chest, dislodging the mass, Woohyun growled with a hoarse voice, "What? That kid." They must be really like brothers now if they are exchanging each other’s secrets without the other’s permission.

Sungyeol waved his hand and responded, “Don't blame him. I asked him. I told you that I have good observational skills." He pointed to his narrowed eyes with a smug smile. Woohyun rolled his eyes (although he had to hand it to Sungyeol, in this case, his observations were on point).

"So what about it?" Woohyun replied in a gruff manner, still not happy that the two were talking about it behind his back.

"Aren't you guys supposed to be like savants with women?" Leave it to Lee Sungyeol to try to use his friend’s ‘situation’ to his advantage, no matter how offensive, but the innocent smile on his face revealed that he didn’t know any better. Woohyun couldn’t fault him, mostly because he knew how desperate the cop was. He wanted to help.

"You want me to talk to Heeyeon for you?" he guessed.

Sungyeol nodded emphatically. "Yea and try to see if she likes me.” Just as Woohyun was about to ask how, Sungyeol pushed him away and hushed him, “Sh! Here she comes! Plant the seed. Plant it!"

"Plant what?" Woohyun whispered harshly back, but Sungyeol just put a finger to his lips before flashing the waitress with a ‘dashing’ smile.

"Hey guys, are you done?” Heeyeon asked, but she didn’t even wait for an answer as she began to gather up the plates.

"Sungyeol has a crush on you," Woohyun blurted out. Heeyeon’s eyes grew rounder and she dropped the plates onto the table with a large clank. The food splattered.

“Ah, yes, Unnie!” she responded to no one at all. She quickly bowed to the two men. “Sorry, someone is calling for me.”

Woohyun swallowed harshly and slowly turned to face Sungyeol (and his wrath), but on the table along with the upturned plates and spilled food, was Sungyeol’s head, hitting the table again and again with a loud thud. Woohyun slowly reached over to console him, pat his head. As soon as the hand made contact with the cop’s hair, Sungyeol raised it. Woohyun had never seen the other’s eyes so deadly serious. “You…ruined…everything!" he spoke through gritted teeth.

Woohyun immediately retracted his hands and raised them in the air, like a defenseless victim. "Don't blame me! You never told me what to say!” he argued.

The deadly look fled Sungyeol’s eyes and all was left was sadness. Tears were welling up. Sungyeol lowered his head again onto the table and wailed. “Ah! I just want to curl up and die. Tell my mom I love her.”

Woohyun chuckled at his friend’s dramatic flair and patted his back roughly. Now was the time to find the silver lining and offer words of encouragement. “But at least we figured out that she probably doesn’t like you.”

“Huh?”

Apparently he had no true words of encouragement to give. His tongue was just as offensive as his friend’s (which is probably why they got along so well together). “Yea, she ran away. She wouldn’t have if she liked you, right?” he tried to elaborate. For him, this was a good thing. Sungyeol didn’t have to waste their time or money at this place anymore.

But it’s hard to find the positive side of things when your heart is breaking. Sungyeol lifted up his head, sniffing and glaring at the other with tear-soaked eyes. “Why are you asking me?” he yelled. “You’re supposed to be an expert.”

Woohyun sputtered, “I’m gay, not a girl. How am I supposed to know? What about you, detective?” he turned it around onto the other. If Sungyeol hadn’t made assumptions, they wouldn’t be in this mess.

“I’m not one yet. I just know the theory,” Sungyeol retorted in a low grumble.

“Then work harder,” Woohyun snapped back. He then sighed as Sungyeol’s head hit the table again with a loud thud. And that’s when Woohyun decided to no longer meddle in anyone else’s love lives other than his own. He only made things worse. He wasn’t Cupid, and he could barely manage his own heart properly. How can he be trusted with someone else’s?

---

“What should I do?” Woohyun muttered as he studied the poster for the auditions. He still hadn’t selected the perfect song, and it was difficult to practice for the audition without having one. He tried out several, but it just didn’t seem right. It didn’t seem like him. After all, the audition song had to represent him, his personality, what he could offer, why the judges should chose him over the others. And for Woohyun who was still struggling to find out who he actually was, it was a difficult challenge. All of his thoughts were focused on it. He even didn’t properly greet the customers as they walked through the door. He just stood there, mopping the floor in front of the poster for the 30^th time that night, awaiting to hear the customers approach the counter.

Then all of the sudden, something cold and wet pressed against the back of his neck.

“Y-yah!” Woohyun exclaimed, jumping around to see what it was. He was greeted by the face of his ‘dear’ friend, holding a cold bottle of tea in his hand. Even though he was wearing a mask, Sunggyu’s eyes were smiling with glee. Woohyun grinned as well. “Oh Sunggyu-ssi! Did you miss me?” he asked. And of course Sunggyu shook his head. He showed the cashier the drink and bag of chips in his hand. No, he was here to buy his usual snacks. But something was still off. Woohyun tilted his head and studied the man carefully. Sunggyu just stared back, probably wondering why the younger was looking at him so intensely. “Why aren’t you talking?” Woohyun finally broke the silence between them and asked. It was highly unusual for the old man to be quiet for longer than a minute without voicing his opinion on, well, anything.

Sunggyu nodded to himself as he pulled the mask down from his face, letting it rest on his chin. “I’m saving it,” his voice sounded tired and raspy.

Woohyun propped his chin on the mop handle, still looking up at the other. “Why?”

This time, Sunggyu abandoned his voice and just signed, “Surprise.”

“For Thursday?” Woohyun asked.

He nodded and then took a step forward so that he was at Woohyun’s side. He then tapped Woohyun’s shoulder and pointed to the poster. “You want to do this?” he signed.

“Yes,” Woohyun quickly responded with a wide smile. He had been wanting to tell Sunggyu for weeks about it. He was finally going to start doing what he wanted to do. He was finally trying. Sunggyu should be proud.

“Don’t,” the old man signed. “Concentrate on studying.” With that, he headed for the counter.

Woohyun slid behind the counter and waited for the elder to look up at him so that he could read him loud and clear. “Sunggyu-ssi! I told you. I can sing!” his voice rang throughout the store. And even though Sunggyu couldn’t hear the words, Woohyun hoped that he could feel the impact of them.

“Don’t do it,” Sunggyu repeated the same signs. “Go to school.”

“Fine,” Woohyun grumbled, barely moving his lips. It didn’t matter. Sunggyu wasn’t paying attention to him anyway. He reached over for the bag of chips and raised them high in the air. “Then you can’t eat this!” he declared. If Sunggyu wasn’t going to let him do what he wanted, then Woohyun wouldn’t either. Sunggyu scoffed and rolled his eyes at the other, while putting out his hand, as if that alone would convince the cashier to hand the bag back over. It didn’t. Woohyun glowered at the other. His stubbornness had taken root. He had the right to refuse any customer, and he was going to invoke it. After noticing that the younger wouldn’t give in, Sunggyu quickly made a grab for it. But Woohyun was faster and evaded. And he evaded again when Sunggyu tried for a second time, and then a third. Just as Sunggyu’s right knee was on the counter in his effort to climb over it, a voice broke into their struggle.

“Hyung, what are you doing?” Woohyun went slack, dropping the chips onto the counter. Across from both of them right now was a stocky man with a wolfish grin and a face marked with intrigue. He appeared to be around Sunggyu’s age, but although he called the other ‘hyung,’ he looked older. He must’ve lived a stressful life and it was evident in the wrinkles that creased his skin. Sunggyu was unaware of his friend’s sudden entrance and grabbed for the fallen snack. He quickly opened them up and made a show of eating them, smacking his lips with every bite. But soon the old man’s loud chewing was masked by even louder footsteps. Sunggyu’s friend laid a hand on his shoulder. Not even a bit startled, Sunggyu turned around to see if his friend would speak to him. He didn’t. All of his words were directed at the young cashier, “Ah! It’s the kid.”

Woohyun furrowed his brows. “What kid?” he retorted. His eyes darted over to Sunggyu, who was still busily munching on his snack but nodded at what his friend had just said.

“You,” the friend responded. His cunning grin grew wider. “Hyung said that there was some kid pestering him lately.”

“Pestering?” Woohyun repeated, his voice dropping.

Sunggyu nodded emphatically. His eyes disappeared into his smile, and then he later disappeared behind the shelves, scurrying off to get more chips, because he had finished the ones he had been eating already.

“You’re going to get more? Okay,” his friend asked and signed to him as Sunggyu darted away. “Oh Sunggyu-hyung! Dang, he already left,” he fruitlessly called after his deaf hyung. He cursed under his breath, turned to Woohyun and smiled awkwardly.  Woohyun smiled, just as uncomfortably, and tapped his fingers across the counter. “He only pretends to be annoyed, you know?” the old man broke the silence. “He’s like that with me too.”

“You guys are friends?” Woohyun asked.

“Hm. We’re a bit more than that,” the man carefully replied. Woohyun’s fingers slowed to a halt. He thought as much. This…intimidating man was the only other person Woohyun had ever seen Sunggyu with. That had to account for something. And what Woohyun knew of Sunggyu’s personal life could barely fit a notecard. Woohyun looked the other up and down with a sigh. This, right in front of him, was a genuine close friend of Kim Sunggyu, and Woohyun didn’t feel like he could measure up. But I’m not done growing. So I might be taller.

Flop! Woohyun jumped back as Sunggyu suddenly laid down an armful of snacks and drinks onto the counter. A satisfied grin was etched onto his face. “Are you stocking up for the winter or something?” Woohyun teased. The elder’s smile fell as he reached for a drink and opened it. He glared at the young cashier, taking a large gulp and handing his credit card over.

“Oh right,” Woohyun mumbled as he took the card and ran it through the machine. He was just a cashier. Just a kid cashier. Just an annoying, pestering kid. Back at square one.

But then, a light giggle passed through his ear. He glanced up at the other as he tore the receipt from the machine. Sunggyu was sniggering happily and smiling, not at his old friend but at Woohyun. And by that small gesture alone, Woohyun knew that he wasn’t just an annoying kid. They were friends.

---

After saying their goodbyes, Sunggyu and his friend left the store and left Woohyun with clarity and a newfound resolve. He was still going to do the audition, against the other’s wishes. He’d just have to convince Sunggyu that if he failed, he’d go to school. But Woohyun couldn’t see the harm in trying…especially after he thought of the perfect song. The perfect introduction to show the whole world who Nam Woohyun really was.

But still nagging in the back of his mind was this: although he now had a strategy, he still hadn’t told his family about the auditions. A family that was too recent to know of his passion for music, unless Jungyeop-ahjussi had told them. But they wouldn’t know how the halls of the orphanage was frequently filled with his voice, nor the solos he had in high school recitals. They weren’t there.

But like a family, Woohyun craved their approval. He was nervous that they’d be harder to convince than Kim Sunggyu, especially after his uncle said this: “Woohyun, you don’t have to answer, but you said you were job-hunting. You hadn’t talked about it in awhile.” It was obvious that he was trying to word it carefully, testing his boundaries of his position in Woohyun’s life.

“Well, normally I talk about it with Sunggyu-ssi,” Woohyun answered. “But I haven’t met with him in a few days.”

“Oh okay. Just as long as you’re still thinking about it,” his uncle assured him. “I know you don’t want to work at that store forever.”

Woohyun thought back to the store. His thoughts centered on the brightly colored poster in the window. It’s now or never. “I am. I’m thinking a lot about it actually and…There’s something that I want to try,” he finally confessed.

“What is it?” his aunt asked.

Woohyun shut his eyes tight and admitted, “There’s auditions for a show next week, a singing competition. I want to do that.”

“Do it, hyung!” Woohyun opened his eyes to see Sungmin beaming at him. He should’ve known that his youngest brother would give his support. “That would be so cool! You’d be on tv!” Sungmin exclaimed.

“Maybe,” Sungjong was quick to correct him.

Disregarding that comment, Woohyun turned to the parents. “Do you think I should do it?” he asked them directly.

A warm smile crossed his aunt’s face. She seemed happy that Woohyun even cared to ask. “Why not? This is the time to do something like that. Take risks. What do you have to lose?” She meant it as a joke, but Woohyun laughed at how true that statement actually was. The woman continued, reminiscing fondly, “Oppa used to always tell me what a lovely voice you had. I remember you singing as a child, like an angel.” That took Woohyun by surprise. She had known about his love for music and had been there. Woohyun just didn’t know that she was. For how long…

“But you know that those shows can be brutal,” his uncle warned him. “Not to mention the public can be brutal too.”

Woohyun nodded and replied with a chuckle, “I know, but like Auntie said, what do I have to lose? I have nothing. Not even a reputation.”

“You do.” The entire table turned toward Sungjong. As usual the teen was looking at his meal, hardly paying attention to the family around him. “You don’t want to taint your Flower Boy of the Convenience Store image by losing miserably within the first round.” He then glanced up at Woohyun with a teasing smile.  It had been a long time since Sungjong had been anything besides reticent at dinner, but now, he was acting like a member of the family again (and Woohyun didn’t have to force it out of him).

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sungjongie,” Woohyun retorted. The teen only shrugged and smiled in return.

“Don’t worry, honey,” his aunt assured him, patting his shoulder. She then lifted her hand to cup Woohyun’s chin. “You’ll at least make it to the second round based on your looks.”

“Auntie!” Woohyun argued with a pout, but quickly laughed unable to keep up with the façade that he was upset. He wasn’t. He was far from him. Woohyun was genuinely happy. This family may have been new for him, but they were support. They knew him. They got along. It was almost like they’d been there the whole time.

And Woohyun truly felt like they were a family when his uncle pulled him aside as he was about to leave. “Hey have fun tomorrow,” he wished Woohyun as he pressed something into the younger’s palm. The old man then hastily walked away. Once he had turned the corner, Woohyun looked down at his palm. He had just received pocket money for the first time from them.

---

The next day, Woohyun arrived at the appointed place early. He hadn’t slept at all that day, staying up since his shift the night before. He didn’t want to risk sleeping through and missing today. Also he was too excited, too anxious, too curious. What was going to happen? Why had Sunggyu invited him?

He sat on the bench close to the statue that Sunggyu told them to meet at. Woohyun wasn’t familiar with this area. It had taken him a while to find it. He was grateful for the tall landmark to be proof that he’d arrived at the correct place. But even knowing that, his knees wouldn’t stop bouncing as he waited. It was now five minutes past the appointed time.

And so when Woohyun spotted his friend walking towards him, he might’ve overreacted. He jumped onto his feet, waving his arms is the air as he called out, “Sunggyu-ssi!” Anything to catch the man’s eye.

In retrospect, Woohyun’s actions were embarrassing, but they worked. Sunggyu caught sight of the younger and hurried over to him…with the stocky man following him close behind. “Oh, it’s you,” Woohyun mumbled as the two approached him.

“Lee Howon,” the man introduced himself.

Woohyun forced a smile onto his face. “Nice to see you again, Howon-ssi,” he politely greeted the intruder.

Sunggyu, however, must have sensed his dissatisfaction. “I thought you’d want to sit with someone,” he signed out an explanation.

“Sit? Why wouldn’t I sit with you?” Woohyun responded with words and gestures.

Sunggyu sniggered and signed back, “Dummy. I’ll be in the front.” Woohyun was now officially confused.

“Didn’t hyung tell you he was a motivational speaker?” Howon tried to clear it for him.

“Yea,” Woohyun snapped back. He then face Sunggyu. “Are we going to one of your lectures?”

Sunggyu nodded with a smug smile. He then tapped on Howon’s shoulder. “Now he’s catching on,” he signed to his friend.

“Smart kid,” Howon signed back.

“I raised him well. He didn’t know right from left until he met me,” Sunggyu signed quickly. And that’s when it hit Woohyun. They didn’t think he could read them (he had been studying), like the first time Howon had stepped foot into the store and they had their private signing conversation. It was like they had used sign language for years as their own secret language, dissing people behind their backs. Or in this case, right in Woohyun’s face. Well, it wasn’t much of a secret anymore.

Woohyun pushed Sunggyu’s arm and signed, “I can understand you guys. Jerkfaces.” He then turned around and stomped away, frustrated.

“When did he learn that?” Howon asked.

Sunggyu sighed and replied, “I don’t know.” He then used his voice to call after the boy still walking away, “Yah! Woohyun-ah, you don’t even know where you’re going.”

Woohyun laughed in embarrassment, “Oh, right.” And hurried back over to the men.

---

High school, Woohyun didn’t know he’d be returning to one so soon. Of course this wasn’t the school that he had graduated from; these weren’t the halls that he walked down. But he concluded that all high schools were similar, whether they were in Seoul or his hometown. Still lined with metal lockers and the hallways which were eerie when empty like they were now. Classrooms still filled with stressed-out, hormone-fueled teenagers. Still had those hawkeyed teachers, looking Woohyun up-and-down as if they were waiting for him to slip-up. Ah, high school, Woohyun didn’t miss this one bit.

However, not everything was like it was back then. The students looked younger. Woohyun could see his dongsaengs’ faces in every one of them. Woohyun couldn’t believe that he was just like them a few years ago. He felt like he had changed so much, that so much separated him from them besides a few years. Also what was different was the fact that he was being treated as a prized guest. He was being lead around by the principal himself alongside of Howon and Sunggyu. A woman asked if there was anything he would like to drink, like he was a VIP customer. Woohyun almost wanted to say that he was just Sunggyu’s guest, just a cashier, but mostly he wanted to bask in this attention and preferential treatment because he knew he’d be treated vastly different outside of the school’s doors.

All of the attention, however, made Woohyun wonder just what kind of motivational speaker Kim Sunggyu was. It wasn’t like he was a genius or a millionaire or even a politician. He was just a man on the other side of the computer. Well, he also did counsel the newly disabled, but this was just a regular school. What kind of impact would he have?

Once they made it to the auditorium, they parted ways. Howon took Woohyun to sit with him in the front row, while Sunggyu made his way to the stage. They sat there in silence in the empty auditorium for awhile as the classes were being dismissed. Woohyun nervously rubbed his palms against his jeans. They had grown slick with sweat. Should he shout good luck to the old man? Give him a thumbs up? He tried, but he couldn’t catch the other’s eye. Sunggyu was too busy, guzzling water and looking over notes. Well, should he make small talk with Howon? Woohyun glanced over at the man next to him. No, Howon just had this unapproachable air around him. Woohyun sighed and looked at his hand, gripping at his pants. I might as well be sitting alone. Why did he think this guy would be decent company?

Thankfully, the students began filing in, which would mean the lecture would begin soon, which meant that Woohyun could get out of here soon. This wasn’t what he imagined doing today at all. He had imagined a lot of things too, but none of them involved Sunggyu talking at him for an hour, next to a…Howon, in a room full of teenagers. At least at the store when he was surrounded by teens, they were normally admiring him, but here, all he heard were whispers behind his head, their gazes burning at the back of his skull. Woohyun huffed at glared at his old man friend on the stage. This time, Sunggyu looked up at him.

“Don’t fall asleep,” he signed to Woohyun with a chuckle on his lips.

What Woohyun should’ve signed back was “Good luck.” That would’ve been polite. That would’ve been nice. But Woohyun wasn’t feeling polite or nice. He was frustrated. He glared at the other and responded, “Then don’t let me.”

Luckily, Sunggyu took it as a joke and laughed. Even luckier, the principal got up and walked over to the podium to introduce the speaker. And a polite round of applause welcomed Sunggyu onto the stage.

Once he was behind the podium, Sunggyu tapped on the mic and tested it: “Ah, ah, can you hear me? People in the back can you hear me?” A bored ‘yes’ echoed right back. Sunggyu grimaced. “Yah! Didn’t you listen to the principal? I’m deaf. So if you can hear me, please nod,” he scolded him with his expression softening and he nodded at the end. The students, embarrassed, nodded as well (even Woohyun did too).

Sunggyu then took in a deep breath while looking about the room. He stepped forward to the edge of the stage. “I know it can be hard to listen to me, so I promise that I won’t take long,” he admitted. Woohyun cocked his head. He must’ve gotten used to the man’s way of speaking because it didn’t seem strange at all anymore. He had forgotten that the words don’t fully form and the slight lisp. But now that the old man had mentioned it, Sunggyu’s talking had improved. Ah, the practice, Woohyun recalled.  

“I won’t talk for that long,” Sunggyu repeated. “But I don’t need that much time to make an impact anyway. I already did when I came in. I’m handsome, right?” Woohyun and Howon scoffed at that, but that was the only noise that could be heard. The rest of the students were silent, probably contemplating if the guest speaker was sane.  But the smile never faltered on Sunggyu’s face. He was used to this. It was all about warming up the crowd. “It’s okay to laugh. I’m a funny man too. I like to joke.” That earned a few sniggers, so Sunggyu just shook his head and moved on.

“So I’m here to talk to you about planning for the future. You guys all have dreams. You all are graduating soon and going to pursue those dreams. Just as long as you don’t dream too high, like becoming chaebols, I think you can do it. Oh,” Sunggyu gasped, staring at a student on the right with eyes wide in shock. “Was that your dream?” The student nodded. “Keep to your studies,” the old man chided and walked back to the center of the stage. Woohyun raised an eyebrow, perplexed. He swore he had seen Sunggyu read off of a script, but now it seems like the old man hadn’t really planned this lecture out at all (or he had forgotten it in his senescent age).

However, Sunggyu’s rambling did have a point. “I had a dream,” he confessed and then glanced down at Woohyun, looking back at the rest after the next statement. “I wanted to be a singer. I wasn’t always deaf, you know? But yes, I had these small eyes and didn’t look exactly like an idol back then. I still tried. I studied hard, graduated, and moved alone to Seoul.” His passion built with each word he spoke, only to deflate at the end. “Pursuing your dreams isn’t an easy thing. You’ll have a lot of people who say that you can’t do it, people who will reject you. But if you have the ability and more importantly, the drive, you can do it. If you have the belief in yourself, you can do it. I did,” he ended with a proud smile on his face and rocked back onto his heels.

“After getting rejected from company after company, I was finally accepted into one. I went into the audition, sang my heart out, then looked the CEO in the eye and said, ‘You will regret it if you don’t choose me.’” He then broke out into an embarrassed laugh and tried to cover his reddening face with the back of his hand. “Yes, yes it was naïve and cocky of me to say,” he yielded. “But sometimes that’s appreciated. Learn to take risks. I guess that’s also the lesson you can learn from this talk.”

Sunggyu then paused and studied his audience again. “You guys are looking at me like ‘Aish, when is this ahjussi going to get to the point. Does he even have one?’” he tried his best to mimicked a indignant teen, and Woohyun liked to think that it came a little to easily to the old man. Sunggyu returned to his own voice, “I do. I had a dream, and I almost lost it. I got accepted into the company, but being a trainee isn’t easy. It’s when the challenges really begin. I trained and I trained. But my debut kept getting pushed back further and further. And so I trained even harder. I wanted to keep my word to the CEO. I wanted to prove my worth. Eventually they saw it, and the date for my debut was set. I was going to be part of a boy band. “ He paused for the dramatic gasps and chatter which inevitably ensued. “Yes, yes, this old man could’ve been one of the posters on your wall. You would’ve liked me,” he dared to say and even winked, his cockiness had reached new bounds. But then the smile threatened to turn into a frown. The corner of his mouth trembled as he lifted his gaze to the ceiling, remembering. “Ah, but why didn’t this ahjussi debut? The thing is, the closer you are to your dream, that’s when stuff get really tough. It’s like when you climb a mountain, it gets steeper and it doesn’t seem like you’re moving forward. We were practicing for 18 hours a day. All we did was dance and sing and eat and sleep only a little. It was hell. I thought I was going to die, until I almost did.”

Woohyun’s heart stopped and his jaw went slack. Unknowingly, he had scooted to the edge of his seat, closer to the stage. This is it. He looked up at the old man, his friend. Sunggyu’s gaze had dropped to the floor as he puffed out his cheeks. How many times had Sunggyu given this speech, because it looked like he was still having a difficult time. Woohyun’s throat felt tight. He didn’t know if he really wanted to hear this. He had been curious to know this. He had been dying to ask. But now that he was finally about to hear the story, seeing the old pain etched on the elder’s face, Woohyun wanted to cover his ears.

But he didn’t. “One of the trainees pushed me down a set of stairs. He was angry, upset, sleep-deprived. We were arguing. I might have started it. I critiqued him a bit too hard on his dancing. Admit when you make mistakes,” he threw in an obligatory message. “It was only supposed to be a shove, but I slipped. Admit when things are out of one’s control. I woke up days later. My group already debuted. And…I was losing my hearing,” his voice shook at the end. Woohyun hoped it was because his voice was getting tired. Maybe it was because Sunggyu stopped to take a drink of water before continuing.

“The company compensated me to keep quiet. It was enough money for me to go to school and start a new dream, giving up my old one.” He sighed, shaking his head. Then he raised his gaze to the students, now more serious than ever. “Admit that there are things that you have to let go.

“It was hard, seeing everything I worked hard for just slip away. I got upset, depressed, drunk. I spent a whole year like that. However, one day I woke up with a nasty hangover and realized I was tired of living like that. After years of nothing but work, I was now doing just nothing. Yet there was nothing that I wanted to do, except for one thing.” Sunggyu held up one finger in the air and then twisted it to point to the student. “Admit that there are things that you have to let go, but your dream shouldn’t be one of them.” The bright smile returned to his face. “They told me that I couldn’t sing anymore, but I was losing my hearing not my voice. There was hope. And I grabbed onto it. I went back to the company, this time as a guest and not a trainee. I found my old vocal trainer and my old members, and they helped me find my voice again. They wanted me to achieve my dream too. And guess what?” He paused for dramatic effect. Woohyun was actually holding his breath.

“I did,” Sunggyu revealed proudly with the brightest grin on his face. Suddenly, a teacher rushed onto the stage, bringing a mic stand with him and was setting it up as Sunggyu drank some more water, preparing his voice. Woohyun’s eyes darted over to Howon for confirmation. Sunggyu couldn’t possibly be singing. The old, cranky man who kept telling Woohyun to abandon his own singing ambitions now admitted that singing was the one thing he couldn’t give up? Howon nodded and pointed toward the stage. Sunggyu was now ready.

At the beginning, his voice was soft and tenuous, almost timid. He was struggling to find the right key. His eyes were down, looking at the front of the row, staring at Woohyun? No, Howon. His old friend was gesturing with his hands for Sunggyu to either raise or lower his pitch. But once he found his grove, Sunggyu gave a quick nod, thanking Howon, and then closed his eyes, gripping the mic with both of his hands.

What happened afterwards…Woohyun couldn’t particularly describe the feeling building up inside of him exactly. But this, this was definitely a song of a man who loved to sing. And would never stop.

To my future self,

who will be singing this song,

I want to say thank you

To you, who were crying back then

and making me smile now,

I want to tell you a secret

Even the gloomiest of days will become very precious one day.

Even if you don’t know everything now, it won’t be too late

It’s okay to love more

You right now, and the people around you,

Please trust them once more

Everything will be okay

It will be okay

What you do not know,

Do you really have to know?

Thoughts that can change in a day

Talking irresponsibly about these being a beautiful agony

Not knowing that it might get harder

Who I love,

Who is loving me

If I know all this, will it be less painful, or more painful?

It’s okay to love more

You right now, and the people around you,

Please trust them once more

Everything will be okay

It will be okay

Have you ever told a white lie,

With the intention of making someone feel good?

Not now, not to you ever

I will be waiting once more

For your answer one day,

For your stories of that time

Someday, our stories

will meet in harmony

Maybe we’re already there,

Perhaps, you’re already listening

“I am a singer,” Sunggyu declared at the end of his performance. He was panting, sorely out of breath. His voice was quickly losing its strength, but his words were never stronger. “I am not a professional one. I’m not an idol or solo artist. But I am still a singer. And that’s something no one can take away.”

“So what’s the lesson?” he asked rhetorically. “As you get older, dreams change, mostly because you change. It’s okay to admit defeat at times or to lessen your dream, be more realistic. But don’t give up on it, if it’s something important to you, if it’s a part of who you are.

“Thank you.”

---

Woohyun waited outside of the auditorium with Howon. Both of them were leaning against the wall, silently, watching the students bustle by them. Sunggyu was still inside, speaking with some students and faculty. And that was fine by Woohyun. He raised his hand to his cheek and touched it softly. It was still wet. Woohyun groaned and hit the back of his head against the wall. He couldn’t believe that he had cried. He didn’t even notice it until Howon had handed him a tissue. It just…happened. Woohyn was just moved was all. He couldn’t help it. But he could help to not give Sunggyu an ego boost and even more inflated sense of self by hiding the fact the elder had moved him to tears. Woohyun would imagine that he’d never hear the end of it, if Sunggyu found out.

“Oh, Hyung’s out,”  Howon announced. Woohyun wondered if it was for his own benefit so that he could gather himself up the best he could before Sunggyu caught sight of them.

Sunggyu soon spotted the two along the wall and approached them. Howon just mumbled a ‘good job’ as he pat the other on the back. Sunggyu nodded and turned towards Woohyun. The younger didn’t know what to say. Okay, that wasn’t entirely true. He just didn’t know where to start, what question to ask first. But Sunggyu was the one to break the silence between them: “Thank you.”

“Why?” Woohyun was taken aback by the sudden gratitude.

“Because I’ve been talking to you everyday, my voice is stronger now more than ever,” Sunggyu explained. “Even Hoya said so.”

“Is that so?” Woohyun responded, glancing over at Howon who had agreed. Woohyun smiled. After all the advice Sunggyu had given him, Woohyun was finally able to give something back.

But leave it to Kim Sunggyu to quickly rip that smile away. Sunggyu nudged his old friend and asked. “So did he cry?”
Woohyun glared at Howon, shaking his head, willing the man to lie. Howon smirked and said, “Like a baby.”

“Did not!” Woohyun automatically denied.

Sunggyu scoffed, “I could see it.”

Woohyun pouted and dropped his gaze, hoping that Sunggyu wouldn’t be able to read his admission, “Just a little.” Woohyun let out a frustrated sigh and grumbled, “Why even ask if you already knew?” He slumped his shoulders, releasing his cares as he looked up and signed to the others “So when are we going to eat?”

“Now,” Sunggyu quickly gestured back. “Where would you like to go?

“Me?” Woohyun spoke, pointing at himself. He frowned. “I don’t know anywhere in Seoul.”

Howon tapped his friend and asked, “Can the kid drink?”

“Yes, the kid can,” Woohyun answered for himself in a irritated tone.

Howon looked over to the youngest and smirked. “I know the place.”

---

The place ended up being an old hang-out of the two men. Howon had come back from America months ago and had yet to visit this spot. He said that Sunggyu’s lecture brought back  a lot of old memories and so they might as well indulge in them. And while they were indulging, they were leaving out Woohyun, unintentionally maybe, but it didn’t mean that Woohyun felt any less ignored. He just understood why they weren’t paying attention to him. They didn’t even notice that he was pouring his own drinks for the last few rounds. Nor did they notice that Woohyun was a couple rounds ahead of them.

“Wah!” Howon exclaimed in amazement, finally noticing Woohyun as the younger knocked back another drink. “I can see what you mean now, hyung.” Sunggyu nodded knowingly.

Only Woohyun was in the dark again. “About what?” he asked.

“At first, I was skeptical about hyung being friends with someone so young. What could you guys have in common?” Howon confessed as his fingers rapped the table. “But there are moments when you seem older than your years.”

Woohyun raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Howon nodded but then revised his statement, “But mostly you’re choding.”

“Not even a high school student, but a choding?” Woohyun challenged. The other two looked at each other and nodded again like it was a no-brainer. Woohyun sighed and slumped in his seat. “At least I know what you think of me now,” he muttered under his breath.

“Brother.”

“Hm?” Woohyun faced Sunggyu. He didn’t think that he had heard that correctly. The voice was a little tired and raspy.

Sunggyu signed, “You’re like a brother.”

“Yea,” Howon immediately agreed. “Like the annoying little brother that your parents had by accident. Ow!” Sunggyu had interrupted Howon’s teasing by a sharp jab to the arm.

“Shut up,” he hissed at his friend. Sunggyu then quickly turned to Woohyun. His face wash flushed as he frantically waved his hands in the air. He quickly signed, "Sorry. He’s an idiot."

“Why?" Howon blurted out, rubbing his sore arm. But as his gaze shifted from his hyung to Woohyun, his eyes widened and he paled.  "Oh . Sorry, Woohyun. I didn’t mean to offend you," he apologized while dragging his hand down his face.

“Hm? Why?" Now Woohyun was completely lost. He looked between the two men, who seemed to be struggling if they should elaborate on how they may have inadvertently offended him. And Woohyun might've been offended if his mind was a bit clearer. The alcohol was giving him a false sense of pleasure. With a pained expression, Sunngyu raised his hands about to sign. Right as he formed the first letter, Woohyun understood. "Oh, the parent thing. Don’t worry about it. I’m used to it," he brushed it off. It was an old scar he had carried for years. It didn't even hurt anymore. "Besides I have parents now. He’s my dad," he joked, pointing to Sunngyu. And then he pointed to Howon, "and you’re my mom.”

“Mom?!" Howon exclaimed, gesturing at himself. He began blubbering in shock, "Why am I the mom? He should be the mom if anything!” He placed his hand on Sunggyu's shoulder and shook his friend rather violently.

"Why?" Sunggyu spat back, throwing the other off of him.

“You have delicate features," Howon argued back. "And look at your hands!”

“Can womanly hands do this?" Sunggyu asked while punching the other in the arm, the same tender spot that he had hit earlier. "And your favorite color is purple!”

Woohyun wanted to laugh. They kept calling him 'kid,' but these two were fighting like children on the playground. But he couldn't smile…because he wanted to play along with the big kids. Woohyun a pout on his face as he lamented, “I hate it when mom and dad fight.”

“This kid," Howon sneered. He then tapped Sunggyu and suggested, "I think we should ground him. What should we do? No tv for a week? No cellphone?” To that, Sunggyu only shook his head while chuckling softly. He began to eat his food, done playing along with this charade.

However the other two weren't done talking. “You'll have to think of some other way to punish me. I don’t even have any of those," Woohyun admitted with a shrug.

“Really?" Howon challenged with a raised eyebrow. Woohyun nodded as he stuffed the mouth with another spoonful of food. Howon looked him up and down and snorted. "You are a strange kid.”

“I’m a poor one," Woohyun spoke through the food stuffed in his cheeks. "So you better be paying for all of this because I can't?" he joked, gesturing to the several plates of food laying in front of them.

Howon scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest, “Don’t you have a job?”

Woohyun sighed, “I’m a cashier. You know that. It just barely pays the bills.”

The man nodded as he soaked in the information. Judging by the designer labels on his clothes and careful way he styled himself, Howon wasn't scrapping by like Woohyun was. Hell, he might even be living in a luxurious place like Sunggyu was…now. It was something in the way Howon nodded and carefully paused. The man knew what it was like to have close to no change in his pockets and having to do a menial job. Although there was a gap between he and Woohyun now, perhaps when Howon was 20 himself, they were more alike.

“You saving up for school?” Howon asked.

Woohyun exhaled heavily and put down his utensils. “I don’t know. He thinks I should," he spoke, gesturing over to Sunggyu who was still busy and happily picking at his plate. "But…” The words caught in his throat. Sunggyu's head finally lifted from his plate, as if he knew Woohyun had been talking about him. The pleased smile that Sunggyu had while eating was replaced with confusion. His eyes quickly darted back and forth between the other two. Woohyun could see the old man collecting that the two of them had been talking…without him. The confusion was overcome by a disgruntled pout.

“Forget it," Sunggyu suddenly announced. Woohyun was wondering what exactly what he want them to forget. He tilted his head, questioning the elder. But Sunggyu still continued with his 'I know perfectly well what you were talking about' rouse. He signed, looking straight at Woohyun. "It’s getting ridiculous. Just eat. The food’s getting cold."

Woohyun was at a loss and looked down at his plate. Save for a few grains of rice and smears of sauce, it was practically empty. Then a deep chuckle caught his attention. Woohyun raised his head back up to see Howon staring at him with a hand covering one side of his mouth so that Sunggyu couldn't read. “See just like a real mom," Howon joked with a glimmer in his eyes.

Sunggyu grabbed the hand and put it down on the table. "Stop it," he commanded in his wearied voice. "Let's just finish eating and go."

They were nearly done with their meal at that point anyway, when Sunggyu decided that he had enough of Howon and Woohyun 'conspiring' against him. But Woohyun couldn't help it. Teasing Sunggyu was fun, and Howon was unexpectedly fun. As it would turn out, the unapproachable air surrounding Howon could easily dissipate. The man was just a bit awkward and lacked appropriate words for particular moments, like when the both of them were waiting for the lecture to begin. For Howon, awkward silence was better than embarrassing himself with a lame joke that failed to garner laughs or an ill-spoken word. But once he warmed up to someone, like he was starting to with Woohyun, Howon lost that filter and began freeing his mouth. And a small part of Woohyun wished that he hadn't. Howon's jokes at times were really…cheesy, almost like what a father would say. It was no wonder that he and Sunggyu were good friends.

The three of them filed out of the doors. The sky was darkening and darkness was looming. And yet, Woohyun looked at his watch. He still had time before his shift started. And he didn't know what it was like to be over 30, but he guessed that it was still too early for the old men to turn in quite yet. “What now?” Woohyun asked, ing his hands in his pockets. He tried to act like he didn't care, but he did. He didn't want the day to end just yet, but he didn't want to force the others to continue.

Sunggyu faced Woohyun and held up one finger, begging Woohyun to wait a minute. He then faced his old friend and signed, “Hoya, will you excuse us?”

“Hyung…” Howon spoke nervously, as he threw a glance back at Woohyun, who was still forcing himself to act casual but it was starting to become more difficult to. Sunggyu wanted to be with Woohyun alone. His body began to heat up just like it would when he'd break something in the orphanage and Jungyeop asked if they could 'talk.'

Howon then grabbed Sunggyu to pull him aside, as they held a conversation in sign language with their backs turned to Woohyun. Woohyun inched closer, standing on his tip-toes, straining his neck, trying his best to 'eavesdrop' on the conversation. But he could only catch a few things: “Are you sure?” “Yea…okay…can the kid…"

The conversation ended with Sunggyu whispering and signing, "Trust me.'

"I do," Howon retorted. "Okay," he mumbled and he turned towards Woohyun and waved. "You two have fun," he wished. And to Woohyun's surprise, he turned around and left. Woohyun's eyes followed the stocky man as he turned the corner and disappeared in the growing darkness. His gaze then fell back on Sunggyu who was looking at him with a small grin.

“Let’s go to my place.”

---

It hadn't been too long since Woohyun last stepped in Sunggyu's apartment, but right as he crossed the threshold, he began to grow excited. It was like seeing someone that you hadn't seen for a long time, or opening one of your favorite books to read once again. It was familiar. It was comfortable. And Woohyun treated it as his own, as he darted from the door and jumped onto the leather couch, sinking into its soft cushions. Ah, I missed this, he thought as he laid down and stretched himself out. After a few seconds, and a few sniffs breathing in the warm scent, Woohyun flipped over on his back and was surprised to see Sunggyu looming over him, with an anxious expression on his face. Woohyun raised his body up half-way, resting on his elbows.

“There’s something I didn’t tell you," he confessed. Sunggyu then cleared his throat and began rubbing the front of his neck with his fingers. "But my throat hurts. And your signing still .” Woohyun scoffed at that. It wasn't like Woohyn hadn't been talking in sign language with those old men all afternoon. But…what Sunggyu wanted to say must be outside of his realm of signing knowledge and hard to put into words.

“The chatroom," Woohyun suggested. They might as well bring this conversation to where it all began. "Let’s do it there.”

Sunggyu smiled and signed, “Okay.”

After a few minutes, Sunggyu had set up Woohyun at his desktop. Sunggyu would be behind him on the couch, replying to Woohyun via his phone. They should probably be looking at each other face-to-face while they spoke, but something told Woohyun that this would be as hard for him to hear as it was for Sunggyu to say. Woohyun was growing jittery as he was waiting for the old man to sign into the chatroom. The curiosity was killing him, but at the same time…No, I want to know.

answerking12: I'm here.

Woohyun's fingers fly to the keyboard and he quickly pecked at the board, writing his message. He could hear Sunggyu laughing behind his back at his readiness. But he didn't care. He wanted to know.

nwh91: What is it? What didn’t you tell me?

answerking12: Remember how I said I lost my hearing?

nwh91: Yea, some bastard pushed you down the stairs.

answerking12: He didn’t mean to.

Woohyun frowned at that. Sure this had happened years ago for Sunggyu, but he could hardly believe that Sunggyu was so forgiving, so understanding not to hold a grudge. The Kim Sunggyu that Woohyun knew could be petty, whose temper flared when he was left out of a simple conversation. This bastard had ruined his career, health, and overall life. Yet Sunggyu seemed to harbor no ill against him. 

Well, that would be fine. Woohyun could hate the bastard enough for the both of them.

nwh91: He still did.

answerking12: True

nwh91: What about it?

answerking12: The trainee that pushed me, he was a member of my band.

nwh91: I assumed that.

And he really had. Judging by the way Sunggyu talked about the guy, he had been a friend. Sunggyu also mentioned that they fought over issues only a fellow band member would be concerned about, as to not let the team down. They were colleagues and friends. That was obvious. But Woohyun hadn't accounted for everything.

answerking12: He was also my boyfriend.

Woohyun slowly dragged his hand away from the keyboard and twisted his body around in his seat. Sunggyu was watching him carefully, with his phone poised in his hand, waiting for Woohyun to react, for Woohyun to do anything. But the cashier did nothing more than blink blankly at the elder as his brain was processing the information.

After a minute, which felt like much much longer for both, Woohyun turned back to face the computer. 

nwh91: I didn’t assume that.

Sunggyu began chuckling again, not his usual happy laugh but one laced with relief. Woohyun smirked and mentally patted himself on the back for reacting appropriately. He was snapped out of his own self-praise by a ding from the computer.

answerking12: We weren’t arguing in the stairwell. We were kissing. He heard someone coming and shoved me away.

Woohyun took in a deep breath and screwed his eyes tightly, trying his best to keep reacting maturely, but what he really wanted to do was to yell and cuss out the bastard. Maybe karma got to him. Woohyun could only hope.

nwh91: What happened to him?

answerking12: He still debuted. He was the visual. They needed him. He’s actually still a celebrity.

nwh91: That’s not fair!!!! Who is it????

Woohyun shook his head and immediately typed back.

nwh91: Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.

answerking12: Yes you do.

nwh91: Okay I do.

nwh91: But I shouldn’t.

answerking12: No you shouldn’t.

nwh91: What happened to the band?

answerking12: They broke up.

nwh91: Why?

answerking12: Hoya became the leader after I left. He wasn’t as forgiving as I was. They fought a lot. They only had two promotions.

answerking12: You’re oddly quiet.

answerking12: I don’t like it.

answerking12: Is everything okay?

Woohyun couldn't help it anymore. He couldn't restrain his reactions anymore, pretend to be as mature as the other. But he wasn't. Hell, he was far from him, 12 years away. Woohyun could afford to behave a bit more recklessly. He needed to do this because he couldn't help it anymore. And he had a sneaking suspicion that Sunggyu needed it too.

The cashier suddenly stood up, pushing his chair out. He strode over to the couch. Sunggyu was no longer sitting there. He stood up soon after Woohyun did. It must've been a knee-jerk reaction for the elder because he looked stunned, and worried. It didn't matter how he looked. Woohyun was going to hug the crap out of him anyways.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Sunggyu murmured as Woohyun's arms tightened around him. Woohyun even heard him wheeze a bit because he had squeezed Sunggyu a bit too tightly.

Woohyun pulled away enough so that the other could read him. “Hugging," he answered. Then he began to chuckle, embarrassed. Even mores because Sunggyu's arms remained hanging at his side. "Have you not had one in so long that you forget what hugging is?” he tried to make a joke out of it.

Sunggyu rolled his eyes and some tension seemed to leave his body. “I know what it is," he responded back. "But why?”

Woohyun shrugged and finally let the other go. “You looked like you needed it," he explained himself, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well, I don’t," the elder insisted with an amused smile on his lips.

“Fine," Woohyun huffed. "Then I needed it.”

“Why?”

Woohyun let out a frustrated sigh and he uncrossed his arms. For some reason, he couldn't find a voice right now (or if he began explaining why he felt bad for the elder, he was afraid that he wouldn't stop). So he chose a language that limited him. "I feel bad for you. It’s sad," he signed.

A warm coat of arms surrounded Woohyun's shoulders, and Sunggyu dragged them close together. “Feel better?” he asked as he patted the younger on the back.

“Eung," Woohyun grunted, wrapping his own arms around the elder and squeezing him again. He knew that Sunggyu couldn't hear him, but he hoped that the deaf man could feel the contentness emanating from Woohyun. Maybe he did need the hug more than the other, but did it really matter? You needed two people to hug, and you needed two willing people to make a good hug. And this was a really really really good hug. So Woohyun knew that in spite of his denial, Sunggyu had needed it too.

After a good minute, they both pulled away and sat down side-by-side on the couch. Sunggyu looked at the other expectantly. He knew the younger well enough to know that Woohyun still had questions. “Is this why you didn’t want me to be a singer?” the cashier asked.

“I see a lot of myself in you," Sunggyu answered as he shifted his body towards the younger so that he could see him better. Me? Woohyun thought as he shifted so that they were face to face. He raised both eyebrows signaling the other to continue. How so? Sunggyu did, "I don’t want you to end up like I did. I barely got into a company because my looks, my voice weren’t to idol standards. And then when I got into the company, things didn’t get any easier. If anything, I was told more about how I didn’t have what it took. And then…" He paused, chewing on his lips, and dropped his gaze. "...I really didn’t have it.”

Woohyun chuckled. Sunggyu snapped his head back up, pouting. “I am like you," Woohyun agreed, patting the other lightly on the knee. "I love music. I love singing. I can work hard for what I want. I can be stubborn. But…" he leaned foreword, looking at the other sternly, hoping that the elder could see his seriousness, his passion that could match the elder's. "But I’m not you. I’m more handsome. I have less shame. I can do it.”

Sunggyu laughed at the other's audacity. “I couldn’t," he challenged.

“I can," Woohyun repeated, fixing on a determined face. He then reached ahead of him, grabbing the back of Sunggyu's hand. "Hyung," he called the other by that title for the first time. Sunggyu had said that they were like brothers and it was time for Woohyun to test that. He was still here by Sunggyu after everything he had said. Now Woohyun really needed the other to be on his side. He needed Sunggyu's support. "Hyung, let me do it for the both of us.”

“You know," Sunggyu began as he flipped his hand over so that they can hold hands properly. "You don’t need my permission. I’m not your dad.”

Woohyun grinned brightly. That's as close to a 'yes' as he was going to get from the elder on the matter. “You act like it sometimes," he teased.

A frown creased Sunggyu's face and he immediately dropped the other's hand. He pointed at the other side of the room. “I’m your dad? Fine. Go in the corner. I’m putting you in time-out. Go!” he yelled. Woohyun just laughed, at a loss, trying to brush the whole thing off. He tried to grab for the other's outstretched hand, trying to hold it again. Sunggyu shook it loose from the other. "Go!" he insisted.

And that was how Nam Woohyun, a 20 year-old man, ended up sitting on the ground, facing a corner, in time-out. He had always hated time-outs when he was younger. He hated being reprimanded, being punished, being treated like he didn't exist. Woohyun imagined that no one particularly enjoyed it, but he didn't think that anyone out there hated it as much as he did. What he hated the most about it was that it forced you to reflect and ruminate on what you had done wrong, how you ended up there. And for Woohyun, that could lead him down some pretty dark paths. But this time, what had he done wrong? All Woohyun could think of was that he had called Sunggyu 'dad' one too many times that evening, and the old man didn't like it one bit. And to be honest, Woohyun stopped considering Sunggyu as 'old' and he'd rather have Kang Hodong as a father than Kim Sunggyu. He did it just to get a rise out of the other. But now, because of Sunggyu's pettiness, Woohyun was doing what he hated most. Maybe Sunggyu hates being called that just as much as I hate this.

There was a few taps on his shoulder. Sunggyu gave Woohyun an end to his punishment, but also something else. “Need a ride to the auditions?” he signed. Woohyun nodded. “I’m busy, but Hoya will take you.” Sunggyu finally gave Woohyun his support.

“Thanks, Dad," Woohyun chirped back. He knew that he was pushing his luck, but he really wanted to see if his time-out theory was true.

Sunggyu sighed sadly and gave the other a half-smile. “You’re welcome," was all he said before turning around to go back to the couch.

Yea, he doesn't like it one bit, and Woohyun decided to never call the elder by that again. 'Hyung' was more appropriate anyway.

---

After sleepless days and work-filled nights, after cramming practice into every minute that he could afford (he had even given some of his customers a 'preview' performance), the day of the auditions finally came. Unfortunately, they were during the day, so that meant his family could not come. His aunt gave him her cell-phone and made him promise to update her at every turn. Woohyun agreed too, but a small part of him wished that at least one of them could be there. He even wanted Sungyeol there, even though the cop had been giving him the cold treatment recently for ruining his chances with Heeyeon (they hadn't gone back to the diner since that day). But no, all Woohyun had now was old man Lee Howon, who was better than no one he supposed. Also Howon had a nice car, so that was a plus. At least the awkward ride over to the auditions was luxurious. 

“So, what song are you going to sing?” Howon asked, handing the tag with the audition number over to Woohyun. 

“One that’ll make me stand out," Woohyun responded with a slight grunt as his head was down, his hands affixing the tag onto his stomach. It was stiff and uncomfortable. Woohyun hoped that it wasn't a sign. Then the two went to go take their place in line.

“You’re not going to do the cutie player song or some overwrought tearful ballad, are you?" Howon guessed. "Ah! The Reason I Became a Singer?” 

Woohyun shook his head. “No, those won’t make me stand out. Those have been done before. This hasn’t," he replied, jumping into his place in line. "And it suits me.”

“Aigoo!" Howon cooed and patted the younger on the head, condescendingly. "You put a lot of thought into this.”

Woohyun decided to take that as a compliment. “Are you impressed?” he challenged.

“Yes," Howon admitted to his surprise. "You’ve only ever seemed like a silly kid. Like the little brother Sunggyu and I never wanted." He then put his hands in his coat pockets and sniffed coolly, as if this was getting too sentimental for him. "But you’re not so silly now. You’re serious.”

“Because I seriously want this," Woohyun retorted, tightening his own coat around him. It was cold.

Howon hummed as if he understood perfectly well. A wolfish smile graced his lips/ “You want to succeed where Sunggyu-hyung failed?”

Okay, so Howon did understand perfectly well. Maybe it just takes one competitive spirit to recognize another. “Yea. I’m a competitive person," he admitted. He then looked around him. All he could see were people with numbers attached to their fronts, much like himself. No one seemed to be being babysat like he was. “You know, you don’t have to wait with me. I am an adult," he tried to dismiss the elder.

“Legally, but not mentally," Howon retorted. "It’s best that I stay here. For example, what were you planning on doing for lunch?” Woohyun let out a slight gasp. He hadn't even thought of eating at all. He hadn't even ate breakfast that morning. Howon clicked his tongue while he shook his head, “Exactly. Besides, hyung wants to know how you'll do.”

Woohyun scoffed, “I can tell him.”

“He wants the truth," Howon snapped back.

Woohyun dropped his gaze and grumbled, “Whatever. I can tell the truth.”

“Sure," Howon relented. "Look. I’m going to get some coffee. You, make friends and scope out the competition," he ordered and took his leave. 

Woohyun finally got what he had wanted. He got Howon to leave. But he slowly began to realize that the awkward presence of the old man was better than no presence at all. Woohyun sighed as he stuffed his hands into his pockets to keep them warm in the brisk cold. "Oh!" he gasped as he pulled out the cellphone. He had forgotten that it was in there. He wasn't used to having one on his person. And although he was only supposed to use it to update his aunt, there was one person that he hadn't talked to in too long (and all of this 'dad' thinking made Woohyun miss him). Woohyun pulled up Jungyeop's number from the contacts and dialed it in.

“Ahjussi? You’ll never guess what I’m doing. Oh! How did you know about the audition? Auntie already told you? Sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier….”