"So you're just going to throw me out?"

Woohyun was sitting at a table across from a middle-aged man, arms crossed over his chest. He knew that this day would come, so it didn't take him entirely by surprise. But that still didn't mean he wanted this to happen. This place, as much as he hated and despised it at times, it was his home.

"Woohyunnie," Woohyun cringed at the middle-aged man's use of the nickname. He was a little used to it. Then man did call him that since he was five, but he was 20 now. He was a man. He'd outgrown the nickname like he did with this place. "Don't say that. You know that I always saw you as my son," the older man continued. Funny, because Woohyun never saw him as anything more than shelter and warm food. At times, maybe like the weird uncle who forces you to play checkers for some 'quality bonding' and who you constantly swear you can't be related to. But never a father. "I'm trying to set you up the best that I can. My sister owns this apartment in Seoul and is willing to rent it out to you for cheap. She also pulled some strings to get you a job."

Woohyun rolled his eyes. "At a convenience store."

"It's a foot in the door. Go to Seoul and find what you really want to do. Go and discover yourself," Woohyun scoffed at his comment. Discover himself? What was he, a motivational speaker? "If things don't work out, you can always come back here and help out," the man suggested.

"No," Woohyun quickly answered. The man frowned for a second, but it morphed back into his usual small smile. But it still made Woohyun feel guilty. Even though he didn't see the man as a father, he was still grateful for everything the man did for him. And Woohyun knew that he didn't make it easy for the other to do so either. "I'm sure that this would be fine," he spoke with a strained voice.

"I know that you're nervous," the man said. "But I'm sure you'll do fine."

Fine? Woohyun was moving from a dead-end place to a dead-end job, in a place that was filled with opportunities, but only if you knew the right people. And Woohyun knew nobody outside of this building. Fine, my .

But later that week, Woohyun found himself with all of his worldly possessions packed up into one modest duffle bag. After he hugged the man who raised him goodbye, and a few kids that he lived with as well, Woohyun turned away from the orphanage and made his way down the path to the bus-stop. And while he waited at the bus-stop, he felt something that he hadn't felt in a long time. He felt hope. Maybe this will be the turning point in his life that he'd been waiting for.

However turning points don't happen when you live in a cramped studio apartment without a private bathroom or kitchen and when you work at a place where people grudgingly interact with you. Despite (what he thought was) his charming smile, he was normally greeted with frowns and avoidant gazes. People just wanted to buy their things and leave and didn't want to talk to the cashier about how his day was. His day , if you wanted to know. It always did.

And then it got worse. "That'll be 10,000 won. Oh M-myungsoo, is that you?" Woohyun asked blinking in disbelief. The boy in front of him was from the same orphanage as him, but unlike Woohyun, he was adopted pretty quickly after entering the facility and by a wealthy family too. That damn handsome face of his.

Myungsoo stared at the cashier curiously. "I'm sorry. How do I know you?" the tone of his voice was cool and slick. He had changed from the shy, stuttering boy Woohyun had once known. And judging from the black credit card he had handed to Woohyun to purchase his paltry items, his fortune had changed as well. Lucky bastard, Woohyun thought as he ran the card through the machine.

"Nam Woohyun. We met at Jungyeop's place," Woohyun answered vaguely and in a hushed voice.

Myungsoo frowned in thought and cocked his head. He blinked a few times at the other. "Jungyeop?" he repeated, his voice suddenly sounding higher and unsure. Then recognition flashed across his face, his jaw dropped, and his eyes sparkled with curiosity. In that look, Woohyun caught a glimpse of the boy he once was. "Ah! Ahjussi! Woohyun-hyung, I remember you now! Did you ever..."

"No," Woohyun cut him off. "In fact, I just left there last week." He put the items into the bag.

"Oh," Myungsoo looked at a loss as to what to say. "I'm sorry."

"Not all of us are so lucky," Woohyun mumbled as he handed the black card back to Myungsoo, who accepted it with a guilt-ridden face. Woohyun tried to wash away that frown with one of his smiles. "Have a nice day, Myungsoo," his voice chipper and bright.

Myungsoo looked even more confused with the changing mood. While taking his bag, he replied, "Yea, you too." And he walked out of the store.

After seeing the door swing shut, Woohyun slumped over the counter listlessly. He didn't mean to be rude, but jealousy had seeped in under his skin and controlled his actions and curt words. When he was younger, Woohyun had tried so hard to get adopted. At first he tried to be sweet and cute, the prospective parents had liked him then, but things always held them back. "Well, Woohyun-goon is nice, but we'd prefer to have a daughter." "He's a little too old. We wanted a baby." "Is he always that energetic?" Then after seeing Myungsoo getting quickly adopted (and he was just coloring by himself in the corner of the room), Woohyun had tried to act like a recluse too. "What's wrong with that child? Is he always that moody? Does he have a social phobia?" After being a hermit had failed, he tried being a rebellious kid, hoping that someone would come in and believe that they could 'save' him. But that was perhaps his worst idea. "That child is out of control!" When he became 12, he stopped even showing himself whenever the prospective parents showed up, and Jungyeop, who had seen Woohyun through all of his phases, had taken him in as his own foster child. Only to be tossed to the curb the minute he turned 20, or at least that's what it felt like to Woohyun.

He felt like he had never been wanted, never been needed, never been loved. And now living in a studio apartment, working a graveyard shift alone at a forgotten convenience store, he's never felt more alone. He'd give anything now to be back with those kids at the orphanage, back to Jungyeop-ahjussi and his boring stories.

But after a week, Woohyun fell into a routine of sleeping most of the day, and working most of the night. And during the few waking hours before his shift, he would go to an internet cafe and search for jobs. Jobs that he was either unqualified for or didn't want or was actually worse than his current job. "There's nothing. There's absolutely nothing!" he lamented, pulling his hair at the roots. He had been searching for an hour, and the best job he had seen was janitorial work, once again at night. Frustrated, he was frustrated and felt like banging his head on the desk over and over and over again, until maybe he lost enough brain cells and actually liked his job. But right as he was about to smack his forehead against the hard plywood desk, something caught his eye, a bright pink flyer that read: "Want free advice? Go to the Answer King." A web address was written below. Woohyun looked at it curiously, blinking in thought. Then he tore it down and put it in his pocket. He had nothing to lose but time anyway.

nwh91: Do things get better? Because I'm starting to think they don't.

Woohyun entered the chatroom and asked the question.

answerking12: They do.

"What is he, a clairvoyant?" Woohyun scoffed at the answer. It was so short and curt. Even the Answer King wasn't giving him the time of day. So he did what he did best, he challenged him.

nwh91: How do you know?

Take that Answer King. Now you have to admit that you're full of crap. Woohyun smirked, smiling at the computer screen. It had been a minute or two, and the Answer King still hadn't replied. Woohyun was about to declare a victory, pack up, and leave for his shift. But then the computer dinged, heralding a message.

answerking12: Because they have to.

Woohyun stared at the computer screen with a blank expression, and a foreign feeling was creeping into his chest, making the hairs on his arms and neck stand up. He rubbed his arms to eradicate the goosebumps as he reached over to exit out of the chatroom. That answer, it didn't warrant this eerie feeling. But it's been so long since Woohyun had ever believed in something so blindly. He had learned to be skeptical of everything, because nothing in life was ever free or came easy (or came to him at all). He was jaded.

But maybe just for now, it wouldn't be so bad to hope.

The hope helped. Viewing the job as temporary instead of the end of the road, actually made Woohyun better at his job. He actually tried because after all he needed good references to move on to a better job. His smile was now genuine instead of forced. And now that he was more attentive to the customers, he began to quickly recognize the regulars. What they looked like, what their names were, even what they got.

"Oh, you're changing milk flavors, Jimin-ah? Why?" Woohyun asked the bobbed high school girl in front of him as he rang up her items.

Jimin frowned. "You're out of the one I usually get," she answered, handing bills over to him

Woohyun chuckled. "I'm not surprised, You practically drank them all. If you don't slow down, you'll get a calcium deposit right here," he teased poking his finger at her forehead. She blushed and smoothed her ruffled bangs. "But we'll be getting a shipment tomorrow. But this time slow down on the milk, okay?" Jimin slowly nodded as she took the milk, poked a straw through it, and began on it. "Why do you drink so much anyway? Do you want to be taller?" he asked handing back her change. He noticed how she flinched a little when his fingers skimmed her palm.

"It's because I want to see you, oppa," she hurriedly confessed and scurried out the door with her short hair just barely hiding her red face.

Woohyun smiled. Maybe this wasn't a bad job after all. He was already becoming the handsome cashier oppa. Jimin was just one of the girls that came in to gawk at him. It did wonders for his self-esteem. And he milked it just a little, winking at the girls, telling them to "have a pleasant evening" and that they can't go to any other store or else he'd be really sad. Slowly, more people started rolling into his store during the twilight hours. And slowly, he was starting to feel less lonely.

In addition to the girls, there were also some regular male customers as well. Sungjong, Jungyeop's nephew and the son of his landlord, would often come in for a late night, study snack. They didn't talk much. In fact, he didn't think Sungjong liked him that much because the boy often caught Woohyun providing special 'service' for the high school girls, and Sungjong would roll his eyes so hard that Woohyun swore that they were going to roll right out of his skull one day. Then there was a strange man who never spoke to him, only nodded. And he would buy the same thing almost everyday: one beer with a cup of ramyun. He always provided exact change, and sometimes left without ever making eye contact with Woohyun. It didn't mean the man never looked at his face, just never his eyes. He creeped Woohyun out.

But then the inevitable happened, Myungsoo came back into his store. And all of those positive thoughts Woohyun had stored for the past few weeks threatened to flitter away again, giving way to jealousy. Was it possible that he looked even more handsome today? Was that eye-liner on his eyes? And his hair...Woohyun realized he was staring when Myungsoo coughed, calling his attention. "Hyung?" he greeted like a question, probably afraid to provoke the other again.

Woohyun forced a smile on his face. "Oh, Myungsoo-ah! Good to see you again. Is this all?" he asked ringing up a boxed lunch and a vitamin drink for the other.

Myungsoo's face warmed up. "Eung," he answered with a smile. He handed a card over to Woohyun. It wasn't black.

"So what's up with the," Woohyun gestured around his own eyes. "Is that in fashion here?"

Myungsoo thought for a few seconds before realizing what Woohyun had meant. "Oh the make-up?" he asked pointing to his face. Woohyun nodded. And up close, he noticed the smokey eye shadow as well. "I...I just came back from a photo-shoot."

A look of pure shock overtook Woohyun's face. He knew the other was attractive, but imagining that shy boy who preferred crayons over humans now performing in front of a large crowd of people, being forced to mingle for business. "Y-you're a model?" Woohyun stuttered. "How come we never heard about it?"

"It's because I don't go by my birth name," Myungsoo admitted with an embarrassed chuckled.

"Then what do they call you?"

"L," he replied, voice strained. He looked down as he took his card back from the cashier. "I know it's stupid."

Woohyun smiled. "No, no it's not. It's cool. Like a code-name. Well, L-ssi, have a nice day," he bid him farewell. And this time, Myungsoo left the store more slowly and happier. But Woohyun on the other hand, was falling into another bout with the green-eyed monster. Myungsoo, no L, was a model, which Woohyun had thought about trying because it didn't require a college education, but he was too short. But L wasn't that tall either; his face, however, probably made up for where he was lacking. And L appeared on t.v. shows, MC-ed a couple of award shows, and was even rumored to be dating Woohyun's favorite female idol, a sensational solo singer (Woohyun had searched on the internet him later). It was the life he had often dreamed about when he was younger, when he still allowed for himself to dream wildly for things like that. And Myungsoo, a boy from the same place as himself, was living it.

nwh91: Why don't I ever get what I want?

Woohyun was back at the internet cafe and back in the chatroom that he visited a couple days ago. The hope thing had worked out for the most part. Maybe this advice would be just as useful.

answerking12: Probably because you don't try.

Woohyun was wrong. This advice . How was he supposed to try when he was never given the chance, and judging by the I.D., it was the same butthead from the other day. Weren't advice help-lines supposed to be uplifting? Or at least not so blunt and judging. Woohyun was about to exit out of the chatroom with an angry click of the mouse, but he heard that ominous ding again.

answerking12: Be grateful for what you have.

Woohyun clicked out of the chatroom after reading the message. He literally had nothing outside of his small duffle bag, a small fridge, and the hot plate he bought to make food in his own room (and thereby shunning the ever crowded shared kitchen). What could he be grateful for when he had so little?

Early the next morning, Woohyun was dragging his feet across the hall leading up to his apartment. He was completely drained from his night shift. More high school girls than ever had infiltrated the store, and they left a few broken bottles in their wake (Woohyun wagered it was part of their grand scheme to admire his rear end as he mopped up the mess). His shoes were probably scuffing the floor, but he didn't care. No one else was up at this hour except for the old residents, and their were losing their hearing.

"Woohyun-ah!" someone gently called out behind him. Woohyun turned around and saw the landlady approaching him with a soft step.

"Oh, ahjumma? Sorry if I woke you up. I'll try to be quiet from now on," Woohyun apologized with a few bows. As he was about to turn around, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He faced the woman apprehensively. He had heard from the whispers of the other residents that she could be quite shrewd, especially when it came it rent. Did he forget to pay this month? No, he remembered slipping the money under the door before heading off to work.

"No you didn't wake me. In fact, I was looking for you," she replied with a smile across her pale face. She handed the bag that she was holding to Woohyun. And when he took it, his knees slightly buckled under the surprising weight. "Oppa told me to look after you, and I haven't been doing such a good job. Your cheeks have sunken in," she sadly spoke, holding Woohyun's cheeks in her hands. They began to burn at the sudden skinship.

"Ahjussi did?" Woohyun asked, his eyes darting all over her face.

She nodded. "Yes, now I packed enough food in there for some meals, but I insist that you start eating dinner with us, okay? You don't have to work then, right?" Woohyun shook his head, which was a bit awkward because her hands were still on his cheeks. "Good, so you'll eat with us?" Woohyun nodded. She gave his cheeks a few pats before letting him go. "Now go sleep. You look like you're about to fall over."

"Yea, ahjumma," Woohyun responded obediently and shuffled off into his room after giving her a shallow bow. Closing the door to his apartment, he slumped down the wall with the heavy bag in his lap. There was hardly enough room in his minuscule fridge to store all of this, even if he packed it in; he would have to store some of it in the large communal fridge in the kitchen. Woohyun winced at the thought of running into the other residents in there, not in the mood for small talk. Be grateful for what you have, a foreign voice chimed in his head. Without knowing it, Woohyun had attributed a voice to his new online adviser. The voice was deep and echoed like an omnipresent divinity in movies. It was powerful and haunting.

As he was putting the food away, Woohyun began to realize how much there actually was. How much extra effort his landlady must have gone through to make him this food in addition to the food that she made for her own family. These weren't leftovers. They were fresh; Woohyun could tell when he tasted a dish or two (and they were delicious as well). I guess I'm grateful for this. Even though I didn't ask for it...but I guess that I should feel more grateful because of that. Damn Woohyun, you're such a jerk. You didn't even say thank you. And after the space in his own fridge was quickly filled and he moved to the communal one, he ran into a boy who looked around his own age and looked just as exhausted as himself (which wasn't surprising at this early hour). He just nodded towards Woohyun rather sleepily as he poured himself some coffee and then walked out of the room with his mug full. I'm grateful that kid didn't start talking to me. Not in the mood. Then as he collapsed onto his futon on the floor after putting the food away, Woohyun's mind was still operating on the task. I'm grateful that I have curtains so the damn sun won't keep me up, that the weather is nice today, although I won't be awake to enjoy it, but it won't make me sweaty or cold. I'm grateful for this bed. Yes, especially this bed. Nice soft. His eyes started to flutter close. I'm grateful for Jungyeop-ahjussi for still looking out for me.

That night, Woohyun had the best sleep that he had since he moved out, and maybe for a while before then too.

nwh91: What's the purpose of living?

The next day, Woohyun found himself typing this question after entering the chatroom. He was in a weird mood that had started as soon as he woke-up. His head was clearer, and it felt as if a weight that he didn't know he had was lifted from him. And a few moments later, his landlady was at his door and dragging him to their early family dinner. She was taking her brother's words to heart, which was especially evident as she started piling up pieces of fish onto his rice bowl (which looked like twice the serving of her husband and her two sons). The dinner was awkward and silent. The only thing that could be heard was the movement of spoons and chopsticks, and the younger son's chewing. The son Woohyun was familiar with, Sungjong, was staring at him with his analytical eyes like he would when he saw Woohyun at the store. It was as if Woohyun was an alien suddenly appearing at the dinner table. Woohyun avoided his gaze and focused on the food. Sungjong later excused himself under the pretense of homework. But Woohyun couldn't help but to think that it was his obtrusive presence.

This time when he left, he thanked the landlady for the meal. And she responded with a threat that he better show up the next day or else she would toss him out. That led to an uneasy smile on Woohyun's face. He felt welcomed there but also unwelcomed at the same time.

Then, he continued his regular schedule and went to the internet cafe. He found no new job postings. So there he was, with hours to waste. But he had no idea how to fill in the empty space of time, and with the internet at his fingertips, he could do anything. Well, not anything, anything that was decent to look at in public. He rested his chin on the desk. He could do anything, yet he was restricted at the same time. That could summarize his whole life now. And he had no idea what he was allowed/qualified to do or what he wasn't. He was in a swirling state of aporia, and he just needed some direction.

Which led him to enter the question (albeit perhaps not the most well-worded) in the chatroom. And he waited patiently for the answer, any answer. Just for a little light to show him the way.

Woohyun was surprised to receive the longest message he had from the other, who apparently had abandoned his usual economical answers.

answerking12: Everyone lives for different reasons: wealth, fame, music, art, love, friends, for someone else, etc. Whatever your reason, living is worth it. It always is. Because no matter how low you might feel right now, you will feel twice as high later on. Things taste sweeter after eating only bitter things. Things get better.

Woohyun hadn't even finished reading the message (wondering if this was the same person) when another rolled in onto the screen.

answerking12: Please don't do anything rash. You'd be my third this year.

Woohyun scrunched his face in confusion and quickly typed back.

nwh91: Third what?

answerking12: To attempt suicide.

Woohyun broke into a low bout of laughter. That thought had never crossed his mind. He was just feeling strangely philosophical when he wrote the question. Then he immediately frowned. Is..is this how he sees me? Am...am I depressed?  Woohyun tried to physically shake those thoughts out of his head as soon as they appeared. Dwelling on such dark thoughts was not good for him. Not good at all.

His fingers returned to the keyboard.

nwh91: I wasn't going to. I was just asking.

The other almost immediately responded back. Woohyun could read the relief in his words.

answerking12: Ask less scary questions.

answerking12: Gave me a heart attack.

Woohyun laughed at that, imagining the deep, echo-y voice in his head saying those words. He had also suspected that this person may have been a robot with automated responses to certain questions because of the void of personality and emotion in his words. It was amazing yet sad at the same time that technology had reached that point. Nothing could replace human interaction fully, but technology was trying. But robots don't have a heart, that thought brought comfort to Woohyun, knowing full well now that he was talking to someone real, someone he could touch...if they ever met. He smiled as he typed out his response.

nwh91: Then how is this for a less scary question:

nwh91: How are you?

Woohyun nervously tapped on the desk as he waited for the answer. Were these kinds of questions okay? It was taking the other longer to respond than the ones he had asked earlier. Had he crossed a line? But then three dings rang through his ears to chase away those fears. He was beginning to like that sound.

answerking12: I'm fine. A little tired.

answerking12: Thank you for asking.

answerking12: People never ask.

A small smile spread across his face. Thank you, it was a phrase that he heard several times a night, but none sounded (or read) as satisfying this one did, mostly because the person on the other side of this screen didn't have to say it out of social protocol. He/she/it genuinely meant it. But Woohyun smiled for another reason as well. "People never ask," he muttered as he typed in his response.

nwh91: They never ask me either.

Sympathy, a shared feeling between two beings, and for Woohyun, it was hard to come by. People were empathetic. They could imagine how he felt. But could some truly and accurately imagine what it's like to grow up without a family, knowing that potential parents bypass you for a better model of a child. All of Woohyun's friends had families, and even the children at the orphanage didn't remain there for long. They couldn't understand. This person probably didn't fully understand those feelings either, but he/she/it did know what it was like to be taken for granted. To interact with a sea of people, yet none ever ask how you were.

It must be even worse for them because they are asked every other question in the world except this one.

But then the Answer King had a question for him. 

answerking12: How are you?

Woohyun's smile grew wider. Sure, he prompted the other to ask him that, but it still felt nice.

nwh91: Better now.

answerking12: Because of me, right?

Woohyun snorted. This person had a large ego, large enough to call oneself a king. Woohyun became even more certain that this person wasn't a machine. Even if the program was encoded with snarkiness, this comment was too much. But the king had a point.

nwh91: Eung. This is the most I talked to someone all day.

answerking12: You have to have more people to talk to than just me.

Woohyun gnawed on his lower lip as he nervously looked about himself, at the gamers playing Starcraft and the girls reading celebrity gossip and web comics. All of them were separated by such a thin plastic wall,  but it was enough to create a barrier, defining a boundary and shutting everyone into their own little world. There was no one to talk to here. 

Back at his apartment, Woohyun supposed that he could talk to his landlady and maybe her family, but he didn't feel like he could talk to them, unload his worries and innermost feelings. And he definitely couldn't do that to the people that he met at work. But who could he talk to? Jungyeop-ahjussi? Woohyun's throat tightened. It had been too long since the last time he called that old man, and he felt the need to make something of himself first before calling Jungyeop. Or he'd at least call when there was good news to share. But good news never came.

No, no one to talk to, except for the anonymous king hiding in front of a computer screen.

nwh91: Not really. 

Woohyun typed out his confession, and he almost immediately regretted sending the message. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he leaned back in his chair. First he thought that I was suicidal, and now I'm a loner?  Woohyun chuckled sadly to himself. He did have friends back home, but most of them went to college; the remaining few stayed to work trade jobs in his hometown, friends that he had left to pursue a life in the big city. But all of that didn't change the facts. Regardless of how popular he was back home, he was friendless here, a loner.

The ding heralding a new message pulled him out of his reverie.

answerking12: Tomorrow make a new friend.

He makes it sound so easy,  Woohyun thought while scoffing. He stuck his tongue in his cheek. Most people that he ran into daily were either high-school students or reclusive night owls just there to grab what they needed and go. It wasn't like school where you could bond over similar interests and experiences, the relationship being fostered because you see each other everyday for weeks on end. It was hard to make friends as you grew older.

nwh91: How do I do that?

Now Woohyun felt incredibly naive asking that, but he didn't have an answer himself. Luckily, someone else did.

answerking12: Talk. Be nice. Be yourself.

answerking12: You seem like a good kid. So it shouldn't be a problem.

Woohyun smiled again, and his heart felt as if tension had been relieved from its strings. Someone had confidence in him, albeit groundless, but all the same. If someone who hardly knew Woohyun could believe in him, why couldn't Woohyun believe in himself? After all, Woohyun knew that he was pretty awesome.

nwh91: Thanks.

answerking12: Now go to bed. It's late.

A chuckle erupted.  For Woohyun, his day had just started, the night was still young. And apparently this person saw Woohyun as being young as well.  "Yes, mom," hespoke but typed out something different.

nwh91: You too then. Good night.

answerking12: Night.

After reading that message, Woohyun got up from his seat and prepared to leave. And although they didn't say it in word, he was pretty sure that he'd already made one friend that night.