Two years later.  

I felt fingers brushing through my hair but the sleepiness was luring me. So I allowed myself to slip back into sleep before I felt someone landed a kiss on my forehead. My eyes jolted open and I sat up so fast that made my head spun. In front of me stood my brother who was grinning from ear to ear. That sight itself made me groaned in annoyance.

"Happy birthday, my baby girl," greeted Daesung proudly.

I let out a small sigh. Happy birthday, Minzy. Let's spend today with fake smiles like usual! Yeah! You can do this!

The corners of my lips tugged up to form a smile and I opened my arms wide. Without any hesitation, my brother engulfed me in a bear hug. I missed the warmth of being loved. That almost made me choke up. Oh stupid tears, not today... Today was the only day I had to pretend to smile.

"Mingki, you are a grown up now. I couldn't be more proud of you," Daesung tighten his hug.

"Okay," I slapped my brother's shoulder playfully. "Okay.. Okay.. Let's stop here,"
                                                      
Daesung let go of me, "Get ready! You have a full schedule ahead of you!"
                                                        
I tried to remember what were the other important things besides from my birthday... College. Dorms. New life.

"Arghhh... How can I forget about the  college?!"

"Because you are so excited for your birthday!"              

"You know how much I hate today,"

The smile on Daesung face died and turned into a frown. He knew better than others about what had happened on this day few years ago. Our parents' death anniversary. I didn't know why I felt  more happier after our parents were gone. Shouldn't I suppose to feel guilty?

"I am sorry, Mingkki. I am so sorry,"

Silence hovered all upon us. The pain came back again, no matter how many times I tried to forget about it. I hoped for Daesung to feel my pain. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to let him feel all those feelings  that haunted me for the past years. But I wasn't dare to lost him. He was the only person who loved me unconditionally.

I broke the silence by fake laugh. "Ha...Ha...Ha.. Just forget about what I said. Arent you suppose to throw me a surprise birthday party?"

Daesung scratched the back of his head, unsure what to do. Did I mention before that I am an expert in masking feeling? "I'm going to leave you today. Aren't you going to miss me?" I , trying to ease the doubt he was having.
He gave up, the harden jaws melted into a smile.

"How am I going to