written by: silentbunny11

written on: 23 Jan 2012

requested by: little_princess

1.)    I want you forever in my heart

I boringly check my facebook account and read a lot of birthday messages posted on my wall. So out of 1, 548 friends I have, only 236 of them remember. I guess following Sulli’s advice on hiding my birthday is a good thing. At least I get to know who really knows about my birthday--- who really cares to know.

Unfortunately, the guy I secretly like in school did not know.

I never expect in the first place. I can already see this one coming but I never thought I’d feel hurt this bad. I always remind myself that he’s only a crush—that what I am feeling is only admiration. I always remind myself to never expect that he’d notice me.

Kim Jonghyun is a popular guy. He can play guitar and even a vocalist in one of the bands in school. No wonder a lot of girls like him. He has the looks anyway that even my unnie likes him (well, it’s the ‘like’ not as serious I have).

My unnie also likes him.

Maybe it’s one of the reasons why I never expect something else. Maybe it’s one of the reasons why I never try to expect.

He is Kim Jonghyun and she is Jung Sooyeon.

While I am just Jung Soojung.

Oppa is better off with unnie.

And that’s what I think.

Because that’s what I think.

“Happy Birthday to you-“  I turn around and see my unnie entering my room with a lighted birthday cake on her hand as she sing a birthday song for me. “Happy Birthday to you. Happy birthday, Happy Birthday.. Happy Birthday, Soojung.”

I lean my face closer and blow the candles.

“Happy Birthday!” Sooyeon unnie greets me as she places the cake down.

“Thanks, unnie.” I tell her as she wraps her arms around me.

“Stay sweet, Soojung-ah.” She whispers.

“For you, unnie.” I say and pull back.

“Now tell me the truth. Do you already have a boyfriend?” she teases me.

“Of course, I don’t have!” I answer playfully.

I watch my unnie crossing her arms and pout. “I must be the first one to know, okay? It’s unfair if Sulli will be the first to know that you’re already dating someone than me. I am your unnie, arrasso?” she pauses, I snort. “Besides, you are the one who knew about me and Jonghyun so never try to betray me.”

I can clearly see my unnie’s cheeks turn into a shade of pink.

“You’re blushing.” I inform her, focusing my eyes on the yummy- looking chocolate cake in front of me.

“Whatever. And by the way, mum and dad are waiting downstairs.” She just ignores me and continues on talking.

“I thought they already forgot it’s my birthday.” I tell her, half- laughing. I look at my side table clock and realize it’s already 7 in the morning.

“They are actually planning on surprising you with a fab party. Actually, they invited your friends over now.” Unnie says.

“Yah! You just said it is a surprise!” I complain and throw my pink pillow at her.

She easily dodges it and gives me a look, “You should be thankful instead, dear. At least I had warned you to prepare. You didn’t want to have pictures of you in your old pajamas uploaded on facebook, right?”

She gives me satisfied look and finally leaves the room.

I stare at my birthday cake and realize that my unnie is right.

You know, no matter how I want to feel jealous with my unnie.. I just can’t.

She’s too kind.

She’s too sweet.

She’s too innocent enough to receive hates from me.

So no matter how hurt I am with the fact that Jonghyun- oppa likes my unnie instead of me, I never feel mad at her.

Never.

So no matter how badly I want Kim Jonghyun to be in my heart, I just can’t because unnie likes her.

So even when I am hurting a lot, I can never hate her.

And even if it means that I’m losing him, I can never hate her.

I never had his heart in the first place, anyway.

2.)    I don’t want anyone else but you.

“Soojung has been having a lot of suitors lately.” My girlfriend tells me as she turns the next page of the novel she’s reading.

We are sitting at the farthest side of the library-- too far from the librarian’s desk to avoid from getting scolded.

I continue on staring at her with my chin resting on my left hand while she reads on with her favorite novel about a shopaholic.

“Your dongsaeng is pretty, that’s why.” I inform her. And it’s the truth.

“Your dongsaeng is pretty, that’s why.” She imitates me and gives me a look afterwards. “Don’t tell me you like her.”

“Of course, I like her. She’s your sister.” I , laughing a little.

She just ignores me and continues on reading instead.

“In case you have forgotten, I am your girlfriend and Soojung is my sister. I’m telling you not to mess with the Jungs, Jong.” She tells me.

The thing about Sooyeon is that.. she’s very honest and straightforward.

It’s a very unique personality of her that I find amusing the most.

“Don’t worry. I’ll never mess with any of the Jungs. Haven’t you heard about the older Jung? They told me she’s scary.” I .

“Ha-ha. And do you know his boyfriend? Someone told me he at joking.” She retorts and pulls a tongue out.

“At least he loves the older Jung so much, that’s what I heard.” I tell her. I can see a blonde girl blushing in front of me.

The woman I love the most looks me in the eye and whispers, “She loves him so much, anyway. That’s what they told me.”

It may not be the sweetest thing in the world but hearing this from her makes it to be one. That’s why the nest thing I do (I never know it), I cup her chin and kiss her lightly on the lips.

And it may not be the most romantic first kiss she ever imagined, but at least it’s from the man who will love her forever.

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“Hi, Soojung.” I approach the younger Jung and pat her head softly. I sit beside her by the sofa as both of us wait for her sister.

“Aah. Sooyeon- unnie really takes a lot of time to change. She’s the reason why we are always late for Sunday masses.” Soojung complains.

“Soojung must be awesome then to be fast in dressing up.” I comment.

“Aah. It’s not that I care much on what I wear anyway.” She tells me shyly.

“It’s impossible. I’m sure you always wanted to look pretty in front of your crush.” I , poking her waist.

“It’s not like he’s going to notice me. He already likes someone else.” She tells me sadly, looking away as a tear wells up on her eyes.

There is hurt in her eyes.

And I feel sorry.

That boy she likes for sure is too numb for not noticing her.

She’s pretty. She’s kind. She’s perfect.

How come she has not been noticed by the guy she likes?

“He’s awful. He’s too numb for not noticing you.” I tell her.

I hold her hand and squeeze it. She looks at me in the eyes with a puzzled look on her eyes (at least the hurt fades somehow for some reason).

“He doesn’t deserve you, Soojung.” I say.

“Maybe.” She whispers.

“Find the man who is right for you, Soojung. He might be not the one.” I tell her.

“Maybe,” she whispers as tears fall.

“But my heart… my heart doesn’t want anyone but him.”

This feeling.. it hurts a lot, oppa.

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I have no other choice anyway.

Graphics by my lovely dongsaeng Tiniel (SeoKyulate2803) <3