As he leaned out of the stone window, Sungmin sighed and gazed into the starry night sky (very reminiscent of every longing, fairy tale heroine held against her will and waiting for her prince to save her). Except, Sungmin wasn’t a girl and he wasn’t exactly being held against his will for the conventional storybook reasons.

“Oh,” a voice cooed behind him, “I hope he comes soon! I have been wasting away for far too long, and my prime years are slowly fading! My mother doesn’t love me, I have been abandoned by my father, and I was cursed by an ugly witch to remain here until my savior comes to save me! Watch me stare into the horizon with the eyes of—”

Sungmin rolled his eyes and slumped against the window sill. “Please stop making yourself sound like a wimpy damsel in distress. Your Highness.”

“But Sungminnie, I wanted to angst!”

***

The title of this chapter is a lie, because it actually starts right before midnight of the previous day. Eunhyuk started feeling the tingling feelings in his stomach that told him he was hungry, and he was never one to ignore the tingling feelings. He stealthily folded back his covers and glanced over at the other two to make sure they were asleep and wouldn’t steal his bed when he was gone.

He spent another fifteen minutes trying to find the dining room of the inn, because the hallways were kind of dark and there were freaking forks. He tried taking every left like he’d read in some book some time ago, but that didn’t work because he ended up back in front of their room. Then he ran into T.O.P, who had been getting ice and was heading back to the kitchen.

“…Midnight snack? Seriously?”

“I can pay you.”

“Awesome.”

Eunhyuk was served hash browns, eggs, and some tara misu right when it was twelve. Not that he knew that, because he wasn’t looking and it wasn’t like they had a grandfather or cuckoo clock in the inn anyway. But it then that he heard the clang of pots falling and voices coming from the kitchen, which wasn’t right because T.O.P was the only one there the last time he checked.

He quickly stuffed the food into his mouth (priorities, people) and crept over to peek into the kitchen, ninja-style.

Inside, a stocky man with small eyes and a top hat was saying something at top speed to T.O.P. He was dragging a pretty-looking boy(?) behind him who looked a second away from bursting into tears.

“, slow down, Daesung,” T.O.P said and rubbed his temple. “Who is this…person and why is he here again?”

“My name is Kevin and I’m a boy,” the boy said in a wavering voice.

Daesung nodded and pat his back a few times. “I was coming back from hunting and I saw him running away from something so I took him here.”

T.O.P gave him a look. “And are you sure that whatever was following him didn’t follow him to the inn? This place isn’t exactly a fortress. See the walls? Wood.”

“Actually, I think they stopped following me a mile back, but I didn’t want to turn around and look,” Kevin whispered.

“Alright. So…why were they chasing you?”

“Because they stole my magic tomes! And then I tried to get them back, but I kind of, um, failed.”

“And who’s ‘they’?”

“The wolves.”

“Wolves.”

“Um, that’s what I said right? Did I stutter?” (This was said with absolutely no hint of sarcasm.)

“You’re saying that wolves stole your magic tomes? Wolves? The animal?”

“Well, no, not the animal. Like, werewolves, you know?”

“Oh. Why didn’t you say so in the first place?”

“Does it matter?” G-Dragon, who had appeared sometime in the middle of their conversation, interjected. “Boy,” he said, turning to Kevin, “we’re not exactly mercenaries. You see these hands? These hands are made for awesomeness, not fighting. T.O.P just cooks, and the most threatening thing Daesung hunts is deer. Also, we’re out of rooms.”

Kevin visibly deflated and his eyes grew watery. This made Eunhyuk feel bad, since the last room had been taken by him and his crew, and the empathy inherent in all storybook heroes made his heart swell. He raised his hand and called, “We can help you!”

The other three all turned, surprised because no one had seen his bright, platinum blond hair floating around the door (just the hair, because the rest of his outfit consisted of dark colors).

“You can?” Kevin looked at him with adoration. “Really?”

Daesung walked over and looked right and left behind him. “Uh, you and who else?”

“Me and the two others I’m traveling with,” Eunhyuk insisted. “I mean, Henry probably won’t be very helpful, but I’m a swordsman and Kyu’s an archer. And, you can sleep in our room for tonight, if you don’t mind the floor.”

Kevin flung himself onto the prince. “OMAIGAWD THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!” He really started sobbing at this, making Eunhyuk feel slightly awkward but very accomplished at the same time.

Now he just had to break the news to Kyuhyun.

***

As expected, Kyuhyun was near ready to kill some newborn puppies when he almost tripped over something out-of-place in the morning. It was warm and didn’t belong and hadn’t been there when he went to sleep last night.

Henry, on the other hand, bonded immediately with the barely-awake Kevin and told him of course they’d help and wow can you speak English? So both lapsed into a language neither princes could understand, thoroughly pissing Kyuhyun off because he was not a morning person in any way, shape, or form.

“Shut up, Henry,” he ground out, shooting glares at the stable boy/bard. “You can’t do anything anyway.”

“I resent that!” Henry wailed.

“Guys, calm down!” Eunhyuk pleaded. “Kyuhyun, go get some coffee.”

Kyuhyun grumbled until he was out of the door, hair still a mess and with a big red spot on his cheek.

Kevin had been cowering in a corner. “Um, should I leave?”

Eunhyuk sighed. “No, he’s always like this in the morning, just hold on.”

True to his words, the other prince walked back in ten minutes later in a considerably better disposition (and bed hair), actually smiling at Kevin and introducing himself. He then put his coat and boots on, grabbed his bow and quiver, and started to walk out again.

“Uh, Kyu, where are you going?” Eunhyuk called.

“Well if we’re going to go kick some werewolf asses, I’d rather do it sooner than later.”

Kevin stared. “You’re a good person,” he started in awe. Eunhyuk shrugged and grabbed his sword, and Henry packed his only real piece of luggage.

“Henry, why are you bringing your violin?” Kyuhyun said.

He hugged the instrument to himself like it was his one purpose in life. “YOU CAN’T SEPARATE US!”

The others decided not to argue and eventually departed with good wishes from Daesung and T.O.P, and words of encouragement from GD which took the form of a rap and dance. The Wolves’ hideout turned out to be some vague place in the mountains, so they decided to travel on foot.

Eunhyuk’s first remark was, “I miss Fishy.” His second was, “Where are you from, Kevin?”

“I’m from the Kingdom of Androgyny,” Kevin, who was in a much better mood now, replied. “My teacher, Lord Heechul, sent me out on a journey to experience the world and put my magic to use, but without those tomes I can only make sparks and levitate. On the weekends. And every other Tuesday, I can freeze water. Or maybe that was the third of every month?”

“So…what can you do right now?” Kyuhyun tried hard not to laugh (it didn’t work).

“I could probably make a campfire if I tried really hard!”

Kyuhyun chuckled some more. “Yeah, that’ll come in real handy if we’re ever stranded in the middle of nowhere with no matches or flint stones.”

“It does! How did you know that?”

“Kevin, that’s fascinating!” Henry really did look fascinated.

Kevin grinned back at his best buddy. “And what do you do, Henry?”

“I play music!”

“That’s all he does,” Kyuhyun and Eunhyuk quipped. IN SYNC. “And he’s supposed to be our stable boy,” Eunhyuk added.

“I am essential to this quest,” Henry insisted.

“Oh?” Kevin said. “What quest are you on?”

“We’re finding their OTL’s!”

“Stop calling them that!” Kyuhyun groaned.

“Oh hey guys, we’re here,” Kevin piped as they came across a large clearing, pointing to an ominous building on the other side.

A quick hush fell over the group, and all of them immediately crouched down and started moving forward very slowly and crab-like, because apparently that would protect them from all possible detection.

Once they were standing in front of the door, Eunhyuk was the first one to speak. “So do we just, um…walk in there, get the stuff, and bolt?”

Kevin shook his head. “The door’s locked. That’s why I went in through a window last time, except I slipped and fell right onto an empty suit of armor and made of lot of noise. So even though the main entrance isn’t heavily guarded I kind of let everyone know I was there.”

Everyone thought of Onew at that moment.

“Psh,” Henry said dismissively. “Locks? Amateurs.” He whipped out his violin and played the first few measures of the Kingdom of Idyllic Vacation Spots’ national anthem, and the door clicked and swung open.

“Should we be worried about you?” Kyuhyun mumbled as the group rushed in and ambushed the only two guards in the front hall, somehow managing to do it as quietly as possible. Both were half asleep and looked thoroughly confused at being assaulted, and they retained that funny look on their faces even as they slumped the ground unconscious.

“Alright, now what?” Eunhyuk crossed his arms and looked around.

Kyuhyun, on the other hand, cracked his knuckles and grinned with an absolutely maniacal expression on his face. “Alright guys,” he announced, “I do RPG’s all the time on my Xbox at home and I’m pro at this, so you all listen to me.” Eunhyuk rolled his eyes, but the other two stared at him like he was their one lifeline. “Since we only have a four-person party and only two of us can actually do anything, we’ll stay in one group.”

“But I can—”

“Shut up, Henry. Anyway, the objective of the mission is always near the boss, so we’ll keep following that hallway until we get as far into the fort as possible. Kevin, keep an eye out for anything resembling your books.”

Kevin nodded determinedly. Henry was still sulking.

“…That’s it?” Eunhyuk said incredulously. “That’s your “pro”, foolproof plan?”

Kyuhyun glared at him. “If you have better one, let’s hear it.” Eunhyuk frowned but said nothing. “Great, I’m glad we had this talk. Let’s go.”

They came across an average of three werewolves per room/hallway, all of which were quickly disposed of by Eunhyuk’s sword and Kyuhyun’s arrows (both of them forbid Henry from being background music, saying something ridiculous about it giving away their position). Kevin trailed along in the middle, and this process continued until something like the twelfth room.

“My ninja senses are tingling!” Eunhyuk called.

Kyuhyun eyed him skeptically. “You’re not a ninja. You don’t have ninja senses.”

“…I do so have ninja senses!”

They probably would have continued arguing if Kevin had not pointed out a cabinet with a glass front and a huge- lock, jumping up and down with glee. “They’re in there!”

Henry walked up to the cabinet and did his unlocking-song thing just as a whole mob of werewolf minions stormed into the room, blocking any sort of escape.

“Uh…crap?” Eunhyuk’s eyes widened and he started to continuously poke Kyuhyun in the shoulder (he had a habit of doing this when he was anxious).

Kevin dashed over to the now-open cabinet and stuffed all the tomes into his bag. “Guys, get behind me!” he said quickly.

They obeyed and shuffled over, because dire circumstances call for extreme actions. This would go down in history as the only time they ever listened to Kevin.

All of them shifted nervously as he chanted, “Tu insulsa male et molesta vivis, per quam non licet esse neglentem!” (1)

There was a bright flash of green light, followed by a ground-shaking explosion and the entire fort collapsed into smoke and flames around them. Werewolf-howling was heard as they were crushed by the walls and never heard from again. Then the group started to float away (presumably Kevin’s doing) and landed a dozen yards away from the burning mess.

The three were all shocked into silence for the first few minutes while Kevin brushed his clothes off and surveyed his handiwork.

Eunhyuk, especially, had his mouth hanging wide open and started pointing and stuttering at the boy. “What—how—the hell—”

“Holy crap,” was all Kyuhyun said. “I’m impressed.”

Then there was Henry, who glomped Kevin and spun him around. “That was totally amazing! You’re freaking awesome!”

“Eh heh,” Kevin said sheepishly. He scratched the back of his head and looked at the princes innocently. “Would this be a good time to ask if I could travel with you guys from now on, just in case something like this happens again?”

Eunhyuk nodded furiously. “Hell, yes—”

“Wait,” Kyuhyun interjected. “Explosions are cool and all, but we’re not traveling for the kicks and giggles and you don’t have a horse.”

“I can still levitate!” Kevin demonstrated again. “Please? You never know when a magician might come in handy, and I don’t know what I’d do if my tomes got stolen again. And I’ll pay for myself!” He bent at Kyuhyun’s feet and wibbled his lip.

“Oh—fine, fine! Stop pouting and get up!”

“Yay!”

Kevin jumped up and pranced circles around the group, shooting colorful tendrils of light in every direction. Kyuhyun immediately wondered if he’d grow to regret this decision. But, when everything boiled down to what was most important: explosions. That was pretty convincing.

-----------------------------------------

1. This is from a Latin poem by Catullus (Catullus 10, lines 33-34). The literal translation is, “You are badly stupid and annoying, through whom it is not allowed to be careless!” …Yeah. This is Kevin’s magic.

A/N: This story is back, baby! Um, yeah, so, I have midterms in a week so I probably won’t get to write a lot for a bit. Until then, see you! Drop a comment if you liked it!

And yes, that lovely Elvin tag did magically appear out of nowhere. O ho ho ho. I am so subtle about my OTPs.